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Newest answer was posted
20 November 2008: I received this story from a friend. I found it too funny not to share it with you! :) INSTALLING A HUSBAND Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system pe...
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I'm in love with someone who makes me so happy... yet, so miserable as well. What do you think?
Q. I need serious advice on how to handle this. I am in love with someone who makes me so happy yet so miserable at the same time. I lovemy girlfriend. Infact she is everything I could ever want right now. Problem is she fucked things up at the...
A. 29 September 2007: Hi,
I think your girlfriend must be in a terrible mess if her boyfriend killed himself. It is very recent too. It seems to me that maybe she is trying to deal with her sorrows in this strange way. Sounds to me that she is not really ready to have... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!
Q. Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...
A. 29 September 2007: It would be good to be able to get follow ups on questions answered anonymously (logged in but with the anon box checked)
I also think it would be good to be able to get alerts and follow-up alerts from the Forum site.
Not that I think it is ne... (read in full...)
Am I being stupid?
Q. Am I being stupid? I have a great wife, who is a great mother with our children and in 12 years we have never had bad problems. My problem is that she had a couple of relationships in high school and as she says she was "forced to have sex". ...
A. 19 September 2007: If your wife had low self esteem and low feelings of self worth when in high school it is not at all unlikely for her to end up in these situations several times with several guys. Guys with predatory instincts immediately spot these girls. For an ... (read in full...)
Am I being stupid?
Q. Am I being stupid? I have a great wife, who is a great mother with our children and in 12 years we have never had bad problems. My problem is that she had a couple of relationships in high school and as she says she was "forced to have sex". ...
A. 16 September 2007: Yes, these things can happen, and yes, it is very likely she is telling you the truth about what happened and about how she felt then. To question her every day about this can very well make her feel like being abused all over again. Imagine how ... (read in full...)
If they don't care enough to wish me a happy birthday, should I waste the time and money to be in their wedding? (I'm the bridesmaid)
Q. Hello everyone. I need some advice on what I should do with a situation that just occured and has me extremely upset. I do not know if it is because I am angry, which is why I need someone to help me think straight. Yesterday was my birthday, and...
A. 16 September 2007: First I want to say that you have all the right to be angry. That is what you feel and it is nothing wrong or at fault with being disappointed and upset when your best friend forget your birthday.
On the other hand, if she asked you to be her b... (read in full...)
She thinks I've made a big mistake, and now I think she's gone off me! I don't want to lose her! Any advice?
Q. I'm currently dating a fantastic girl. Everything was going perfect for ages until she had to do these important exams.. Her mood totally changed around this time. When we were out she was aloof and detached and unaffectionate. I felt it best to ...
A. 16 September 2007: I think you have done everything you can to make this work. You have told her how you feel and explained everything about how you act and why. You have made it clear to her that you care and that you are trying to please her and do the right thing. ... (read in full...)
Part of me thinks that I could do the "casual relationship," but I fear that I would be stuck in a loop of heartbreak everytime I "left in the morning."
Q. hey all, Me and my ex dated before the summer, she broke up with me before she went home. The breakup was very sudden and out of the blue for me, she told me she didnt want to be in a relationship and needed space. So she returned the other d...
A. 16 September 2007: Oh, I know, it does hurt so much to love someone that doesn’t seem to love you back. I understand how hurtful it must be for you that she seems to just want you as a casual fling now. It is actually rather weird she is doing that. To me it even ... (read in full...)
I aborted the child of a married man I had an affair with... What would you do?
Q. i had an affair with a married man for one year. i fell pregnant and he said it wasn't the right time for us to be having children but we would when i no longer worked with him and i had my own flat. i had the abortion, reluctantly but then he ...
A. 16 September 2007: I wouldn’t expose him because it might hurt you even more. I understand your thoughts about his wife, but that is not your job now to protect her from being cheated upon with others. What you should concentrate on at this point is to take care of ... (read in full...)
Made a promise a while back, it didnt happen, now we are just coasting! How do we get it all back!?
Q. Been together 4 years... Things used to be fab... in the main they are ... but we seem to be just coasting along and no getting very far. It all stemed ages ago(2years) when i made a suggestion of introducing a 3rd party to our sex life. Only ...
A. 16 September 2007: I don’t think your problems come only out of this story about you suggesting having a threesome. Maybe he has made it into that, but still it doesn’t make sense. That is all about fantasies and it is not at all strange to change your mind about this ... (read in full...)
She laughed of my body as we were getting intimate. What should I do?
Q. Me and my girlfriend were "getting in the mood", but when I dropped my pants she laughed and said I was small. What should I do?...
A. 16 September 2007: What? That was a very immature and not very loving thing of her to do. My advice to you would be to drop her and find a better, loving girlfriend. This one doesn’t deserve you.
Wish you all the best!... (read in full...)
Am I being stupid?
Q. Am I being stupid? I have a great wife, who is a great mother with our children and in 12 years we have never had bad problems. My problem is that she had a couple of relationships in high school and as she says she was "forced to have sex". ...
A. 16 September 2007: Yes, you are being stupid now. Let go of these feelings. Concentrate on what she has been and meant for you during all these years. Whatever happened in her past and however it happened, obviously it was very traumatic for her and she has been ... (read in full...)
Fantasy or Nightmare?
Q. I care very much for my girlfriend and I trust her. When we go out with friends, she often finds it fun to make out with her girl friends, especially when she has been drinking. Maybe I am crazy because for many people this would be their fantasy ...
A. 16 September 2007: Hi,
You shouldn’t accept this if it hurts your feelings. As others here also say, it is cheating even though same sex. It is your feelings that decides whether it is ok or not for you, not the fact that other people might have it for a fantasy. Also... (read in full...)
Should I forgive him for getting with someone else when we broke up!?
Q. Hey guys, So i just broke up with my ex 5 days ago and last night he made ou with some exchange student hes always telling me that he loves me and i love him soo much too!! Should i forget it happen and forgive him or give him hell for it for...
A. 16 September 2007: Hi,
Why did you brake up with him? It seems to me that maybe you two have more serious problems to solve if you want to be together than whether to forgive him for this girl or not. I think giving him a hard time for that would be a bad idea sinc... (read in full...)
Part of me thinks that I could do the "casual relationship," but I fear that I would be stuck in a loop of heartbreak everytime I "left in the morning."
Q. hey all, Me and my ex dated before the summer, she broke up with me before she went home. The breakup was very sudden and out of the blue for me, she told me she didnt want to be in a relationship and needed space. So she returned the other d...
A. 16 September 2007: You had your heart broken not only once by her, but twice! No, you are not being selfish if you cut her out of your life. Not at all! You would be strong and taking care of your heart if you do, which would be the absolute right thing for you to ... (read in full...)
One week I feel attracted to her, the next I'm doubting her or questioning my love for her. Any tips?
Q. My mind is in a mess. I have been with my great girlfriend for over a year but keep getting these strange moods. One week i'm into her and feel attracted to her, the next I'm doubting her or questioning my love for her. The thing i've noti...
A. 16 September 2007: First I think you mustn’t think that you SHOULD always love and miss her. If you don’t, well then you don’t. It seems to me though that you might not get enough space right now to be able to really think over what and how you feel for her and life ... (read in full...)
How can I stop myself from becoming too emotionally attached to men?
Q. How can I stop myself from becoming too emotionally attached to men? In the past year Ive had short relationships with 4 men and each one I really fell for. But then when we split it hurt like hell - even if I had only been with them a few weeks. ...
A. 16 September 2007: Hi, I very much recognize what you are writing. I feel very much the same. I meet someone and I give my heart away completely and at once. Maybe an idea could be to practice to keep the feelings down. Occupy yourself with other things, like a h... (read in full...)
I'm struggling with the long distance relationship. She's ok with it. Are guys different to girls with long distance relationships?
Q. Me and my girlfriend love each other. We are in a 5 month distance relationship. She tells me she is 100% sure that she wants to be with me and that she could be happy with me forever. I told her for awhile that I was, I myself thought I was. Then I ...
A. 12 September 2007: Hi,
I had a distance relationship with a man for 6 months. He initiated it and did most of the pursuit. Then after 6 months he decided I was too involved and that he felt confused so he backed out. I was totally fallen for him, swept off my feet... (read in full...)
I saw my boyfriend's "Ohhhhhh" face and it was really gross...
Q. I saw my boyfriend's O face and it was really gross.. I was on top and I had the blanket over me cuz it was really cold and I took it off just in time when my boyfriend was getting off, cuz he was making this awful face, I have never seen before. ...
A. 9 September 2007: Think of it this way: the more he is enjoying himself, the funnier faces he will make. I agree with spanna and anonymous female, it IS very sexy and flattering to realize that you can make them so excited they just can't keep their faces! Very hot ... (read in full...)
Had a really good first date on saturday but havent heard from him. Should I leave it for him to make the first move?
Q. Had a really good first date with a guy on thursday night. I text him once on friday nite and once on saturday night... it is now sunday and i haven't heard anything from him although it was his idea to meet up again. Shall i continue to persue him ...
A. 9 September 2007: My advice would be to leave it to him to make the next move. You texted him twice already so he knows you like him and wouldn't mind seeing him again. I would find it a little rude if a date didn't get back to me even if only to tell me he doesn't ... (read in full...)
The love of my life has moved on and has a baby now
Q. I was to late! The man who asked me to marry him ten years ago, has now had a baby with a new women. We text as friends, but i so wished it was me and not her who was with him. Im happy for them both, but it should have been me, having his baby. ...
A. 8 September 2007: You say in your follow-up that you always put other people’s feelings before you. Stop doing this. Take a good look at your own feelings and decide to put them first. This does not mean to keep contacting your ex, no matter how kind he is. He is ... (read in full...)
How important is income level to love? My bf doesn't feel my finances are solid enough...
Q. How important is income level to love? My friend who is really my boyfriend doesn't want to look at it that way lately because of money. I support myself, but he doesn't feel my finances are solid enough. I know that many relationships have fou...
A. 1 September 2007: You do have a job and you support yourself, what else does he want? I think he doesn't sound like a good man. I'm sorry.
Wish you the best!... (read in full...)
My guy emigrated and wants me to follow. He seems to be using me for what I can take over there with me and I'm wondering now if I should even be going??
Q. My boyfriend emigrated to the other side of the world about 6 months ago and wanted me to go with him. I have visited once and am due to see him again for a couple of weeks very soon as it is a big step I want to be sure. I feel a bit concerned ...
A. 1 September 2007: Is it possible you could rent your house out and go living with him for maybe 6-12 months? Then you can decide whether you want to stay or go back home. If you still want to stay with him you can go back and organize things with your stuff. Do you ... (read in full...)
Im still not getting over her. This has been the worst summer ever. She hasn't even said thank you for the birthday card I sent her!
Q. Hi everyone. It's got to the point where I feel stupid to keep troubling you with my problems, whenever they are so small. Nevertheless, they continue to trouble me. I don't know if it's all part of being dumped by your first love or whatever, ...
A. 31 August 2007: Hi Andy,
It's me popping up again in all your posts :)
I think she did find it nice to get a card from you even though she hasn't replied yet. She might thank you later or she might not, but it was still a good thing of you to do. And it is de... (read in full...)
If he brings me a present I'll feel bad as I told him I'm a material girl, if he doesn't I'll feel worse...
Q. Difficult situation, I'm damn escort, material girl, think I fell in love with a guy that does not treat me like that... I like him in some ways, but hate myself or at least don't feel well if don't get any profit from him... What the hell i ...
A. 31 August 2007: What makes this guy different compared to all the other guys out there who wouldn’t (or couldn’t) spend a penny on you? You wouldn’t even look their way, so why is this man different? Maybe you are actually truly in love with him and the reason you ... (read in full...)
He treats me bad and I feel i should leave. I need some strength...
Q. Thank you for you support through your advice. I have been with the guy am talking about for almost 4 years. We moved for 1 and half year and without any reason he left me. I never went into any relationship again because I loved him. After 3 ...
A. 30 August 2007: I think that he doesn't show you the respect you deserve. He is playing you around, are with others behind your back and is hurting you in many ways. I don't believe you will be happy with this man and from you write, it sounds like you believe the ... (read in full...)
He was neglecting me so I ended it. I wanted him to chase me but he now says he needs time. Help!
Q. Hi I cant believe I am writing this, but I have really reached the bottom of the barrel. Its simple I started dating a guy that chased me for a very very very long time and he did everything write from the beginning. We dates for three monhts a...
A. 30 August 2007: To end a relationship because you want to play a game and trick him to chase you again is of course not a very wise thing to do. But, from what you write here I think that, even though you might not see this clearly right now, you did end it for a ... (read in full...)
Should I get my ex a birthday card?
Q. Should I get my ex a birthday card? We have had trouble talking since we split 2 months ago.. 2 months today, actually, and so, I'm not sure we are actually speaking at the moment. I told her I didn't think we should, because anytime we do I ...
A. 30 August 2007: Andy,
It sounds like a real nice card. She will find it nice and not at all under- or overdone.
Also, it is not at all wrong to feel the way you do. It is perfectly normal, you still love her. As you say, you can't help what you are feeling.
... (read in full...)
Should I get my ex a birthday card?
Q. Should I get my ex a birthday card? We have had trouble talking since we split 2 months ago.. 2 months today, actually, and so, I'm not sure we are actually speaking at the moment. I told her I didn't think we should, because anytime we do I ...
A. 26 August 2007: Happy Birthday! -Andy... (read in full...)
Should I get my ex a birthday card?
Q. Should I get my ex a birthday card? We have had trouble talking since we split 2 months ago.. 2 months today, actually, and so, I'm not sure we are actually speaking at the moment. I told her I didn't think we should, because anytime we do I ...
A. 25 August 2007: Yes, I think you can send her a birthday card. It is a nice thing to do and will be an honest wish from your heart that you wish her all the best on her special day. I don't think however that you should send her any present. That is a little over... (read in full...)
He has no idea of her past experiences, should I tell him?
Q. When she was 14 i went to the other side of the country to surf. she went with three male friends. one was a guy sh had been seeing for a good while. he had cheated on her. he was 17. thought it was a good idea to go do the whole rebound thing an...
A. 25 August 2007: No, you shouldn't tell him about her past. It is not up to you to decide who should know about this. It is her story and it is up to her to decide who to tell, how and when. I understand you care a lot for your friend and that you want to help her ... (read in full...)
I'm confused about whether he is looking for a visa to stay here or genuinly cares about me! Should I wait some years for him to get at the level I am at in this country?
Q. I don't know, maybe I needed this help; I guess that's why I'm writing this question here. My story is that I am a very attractive young female, in my early 30s, single, I've never been married, and I am still looking for my right better-half. I ...
A. 25 August 2007: I don't think you should wait around some years. You are still young today but being in early 30's you don't have all the time in the world to wait around for years when you feel like this now. Imagine you find out in 2 years he is not the right ... (read in full...)
In love with my recent girlfriend but my longtime platonic friend suggested a no-strings-attached relationship, what should I do?
Q. I have a girlfriend that I love. We have been dating for months and all that we have done is kiss and make out. This is fine with me because I really like her. It can be frustrating, though. Meanwhile, my longtime platonic friend Kim has made it ...
A. 25 August 2007: My advice to you is to stick with the girl you love. If it means no sex for a while, it will still be worth waiting around. The no-string thing your friend is offering sounds like she might be jealous. Maybe she is secretely in love with you and ... (read in full...)
Is she just being cautious? Is our relationship doomed? What do you think is going on?
Q. Dear people, I met a girl in a chat room on New Year's Eve this year. Since that day we have spoken on the telephone without fail every day, morning and night when we are in bed till we fall asleep. After approximately a month both of us...
A. 25 August 2007: Good plan. It will be good for you to meet on the “neutral territory”. And yes, it is a confusing thing when falling in love trying to get to know and understand another person. You don’t say how long time since she was with this violent man, but... (read in full...)
Is she just being cautious? Is our relationship doomed? What do you think is going on?
Q. Dear people, I met a girl in a chat room on New Year's Eve this year. Since that day we have spoken on the telephone without fail every day, morning and night when we are in bed till we fall asleep. After approximately a month both of us...
A. 24 August 2007: I think you two must meet in person pretty soon. I can understand it would feel weird to her to have you over living in her home before you have even met. My advice for you would be that you find somewhere to stay nearby her, at a hotel or hostel, ... (read in full...)
Please help I need to decide whether to end it (but I don't know if I'm strong enough to do so).
Q. I'm the kinda girl who is always nice and wouldn't hurt anyone intentionally. My boyfriend can be very nice but when he wants to be he can be very hurtful say nasty things, hang up the phone on me, put me down by saying I can't do stuff etc. ...
A. 21 August 2007: No, you shouldn't have so much hurt in a loving relationship. Did you talk to him about this? Did you tell him how much it hurts when he does and say these things? If you did and he still continue doing these things, then I must say that I don't ... (read in full...)
His ex is claiming he cheated on me with her, he says no. I dont know what to believe!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about a year now. A month before we started dating he had broken up with a girl he dated for 8 months. He had constantly told me what a horrible relationship they had and how she was mean to his daughter. At the ...
A. 21 August 2007: I think you must make your mind up whether you will trust him or not and then stick to that. If you decide to trust him, then do it all the way. Don't check with phone service all the time and don't have detailed bills just for you to be able to ... (read in full...)
My ex girlfriend seems jealous that I am going to meet someone new
Q. Hi all. I've had a lack of help from people on this site with my questions recently, so I've decided to keep it as simple as possible: Last night, I told my ex long distance girlfriend of 2 years that I was meeting a girl on Thursday, as a f...
A. 21 August 2007: Andy,
I don't think this will make her realize she lost something. I think that what you are doing now is to ease some of your pain and anger by getting back at her. You want to show her that she might lose you, that you are not going to stick arou... (read in full...)
I think i will let her down.
Q. Im am 16 years old and i only have a 5in penis and i want to go out with this girl and i no she wants me but i dont want to go out with her because i no she will want to have sex and i dont want to let her down! wat do i do?...
A. 20 August 2007: You will NOT let her down. You should definitely go out with her. Tell her you don't want to have sex on first date ;-) But seriously, if you go out a few times first you will get to know each other better and then you will feel less nervous about ... (read in full...)
She has told me she does not mind if i find it elsewhere.
Q. My girlfriend has gave me "permission" to sleep about, is this normal? I have been with my partner for 4 years and we have 1 daughter and have been living with each other for 3 years. Now our sex life was fantastic before our daughter came al...
A. 20 August 2007: It does seem a little odd. I'm not convinced she actually for real would like you to be with other girls. My guess is that maybe she is afraid of you leaving her if you don't feel satisfied sexually, and right now she is in a situation where she ... (read in full...)
He only wanted "conversation and sex"... !
Q. I am confussed. I had an established long distance relationship of 9 months (meaning at one point we decided the girlfriend/boyfriend issue and we had daily communication for all that time)and after last time he came to visit me (we had an amazing ...
A. 18 August 2007: Oh, this sounds so much like what I recently went through. It is my story to almost every bit.
Yes, it is very confusing. You think everything is alright and then all of sudden you are left hanging, what happened? I don’t think you were just pla... (read in full...)
I gave my NOT gay best friend head and now he is being funny with me.
Q. ugh!!!....u may have read my other plee for help...well to break it down I love my not gay best friend and he sayd he's not gay...well the new story is that he asked me to give him head...and he sayd it wouldn't change anything at all so I was ...
A. 18 August 2007: Well, he asked you to do it and probably knows how you feel about him. He also told you beforehand that it wouldn't change anything. Regardless if he is being confused about his own sexuality, just being curious or whatever; what he did to you was ... (read in full...)
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