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This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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20 November 2008: I received this story from a friend. I found it too funny not to share it with you! :) INSTALLING A HUSBAND Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system pe...
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He forced himself on me but it didn't hurt. Does that mean I am still a Virgin?
Q. I don't know what happened here. My boyfriend and I were making out when he removed my clothes and told put his penis down there, he said he wouldn't penetrate that we are just playing. Before I knew it he was using force though I didn't feel any ...
A. 27 December 2007: Hi,
Whether you are still a virgin or not is impossible for anyone else here to tell. Some would say that you can do all sorts of sexual things and unless you penetrate you are still a virgin. Others would say that since sex is so much more tha... (read in full...)
How can I sing with a sore throat? Any remedies?
Q. Hi everybody. Slight change from the norm; I have a health related question. As some of you know, I'm in a rock band for my Music course in college. I have to give a performance this Thursday in front of all my fellow students and friends. It is a...
A. 20 December 2007: Good work!
:)... (read in full...)
How can I sing with a sore throat? Any remedies?
Q. Hi everybody. Slight change from the norm; I have a health related question. As some of you know, I'm in a rock band for my Music course in college. I have to give a performance this Thursday in front of all my fellow students and friends. It is a...
A. 16 December 2007: So it goes when you're out snogging girls, Andy!! ;) ;)
Lots of hot drinks, lots of antiseptic drugs from pharmacy and stay at home watching all your favourite tv-series. And don't talk more than necessarily.
You have 4 days to go, you will mak... (read in full...)
Do I have a right to be angry at my ex who I had a dysfunctional relationship with?
Q. i went out with a guy for three months was crazy about him, the first time we broke up it was because he decided he didnt want to be in a relationship and because he knew i was ending it with him as i told him we needed to talk he ended it with me ...
A. 16 December 2007: Yes, you have a right to feel angry. There is no such thing as not have a right to your feelings. I do however agree with the previous answerers that you should try and find a way to forgive him so that you can move on. It is not healthy to go ... (read in full...)
I've got piles but he wants anal sex!
Q. i constently have piles and nthing will get rid of it and mi boyfriend is reall discusted by it he keeps askin for anal sex but it would really hurt and every time he sticks his penis up my virgina it reall hurts and stings wot should i do he will ...
A. 16 December 2007: You shouldn't be worried whether he will dump you or not over this, HE should be worried of having YOU dump HIM if he is treating you like this. I know it is hard to see this when you are in love, and it is much easier to say than to do, but I ... (read in full...)
I lied about cheating, but how do I make him believe I didn't?
Q. I broke up with my fiance a few months ago. He was an emotionally abusive guy, and towards the end of our relationship I started blurting out things like how I cheated on him when we were in arguments-but I never ever cheated on him. Then, shortly ...
A. 16 December 2007: Hi,
Your relationship with this man wasn’t very healthy and that can be a reason for you to lie about things. I think you are right when you say that you wanted to get a reaction out of him that he cared about you. Also you have been cheated ... (read in full...)
Is it alright for a boy to sit down when weeing??
Q. im a 13 year old boy and i sit down when i wee:/ i used to wee normally - standing up - but now, because sometimes the urine blasts out and splashes every where, i sit down. is this alright, and how to to it splashing?? please help, thanks:...
A. 15 December 2007: Hi,
It is perfectly alright to sit. If this is the best and most comfortable way for you, then that is the way to do it, don't let anybody tell you differently. It is not abnormal in any way and lots of men do the same. And you will not have ser... (read in full...)
He forced himself on me but it didn't hurt. Does that mean I am still a Virgin?
Q. I don't know what happened here. My boyfriend and I were making out when he removed my clothes and told put his penis down there, he said he wouldn't penetrate that we are just playing. Before I knew it he was using force though I didn't feel any ...
A. 15 December 2007: It looks to me as if you are not a virgin anymore. I would be very concerned about seeing this boyfriend again, penetrating you by force is not a loving, caring act of a boyfriend and looks more like a rape to me. Be careful with this guy and think ... (read in full...)
I want to secretly visit my LD bf - who lives abroad - without telling my mother. Good idea?
Q. they say people will do ANYTHING for the love. so okay i got to know this guy who lives in another country. and we're currently on a long distance relationship. i love him so much i swear and i guess he loves me back the same. and recently i have t...
A. 15 December 2007: Hi,
I think you should go and see him. How far away from each others are you? Don't do it without telling your mother though, you need people at home knowing where you are and who will be able to help you if it turns out not to be as you had expe... (read in full...)
I feel like I have no luck, I feel down and unhappy
Q. i am not sure if i have depression, i feel really down all the time like there is nothing worth while in my life,i feel useless in evrything and a string of bad luck lately has added to that.my mum has been taken into hospital and may now need a ...
A. 15 December 2007: Hi,
I'm sorry so many tough things happened to you recently. It is perfectly normal to feel very low in your situation. I agree very much with starfairy about bringing up also the positive sides of things, easy to say hard to do, i know, but that... (read in full...)
I love him so much, but don't really miss him when he's away, is what I feel normal?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend nearly a year. We live together and have been friends for 10 years. He works away for a few weeks at a time. While I do miss him (sometimes very much, sometimes not bery much, depending on how busy I am etc) sometime...
A. 15 December 2007: It could be that you just feel so good and stable about both yourself and him so that you don't feel any worries when he is gone. After all you know all the time that he will be back and that when he is, you will have strong feelings for him. I ... (read in full...)
I've just found out my partner of 4 years is cheating, I don't want to leave him and give the mistress the satisfaction
Q. I have just been told that my partner of 4 years has been having an affair with someone from his work for over a year. I have had my suspicions and have asked him but he has always denied anything has been going on. He is always very loving towards ...
A. 15 December 2007: I would say confront him and tell him exactly what this woman has told you. Then see what he has to say about it. If you let things lie, this will always linger in the back of your mind and will eventually drive you crazy. And you don’t know what ... (read in full...)
My husband's cat is very dirty, makes noise, has attacked a friend - I'm concerned about my babies' safety, yet my partner wants to keep it!
Q. I really dislike my husband's cat! She's 11 yrs. old, she has long hair that falls out in clumps, I have found little clumps of hair that have feces in it, all over the house..I am 6 months pregnant and I have an 8 month old and I do not want this ...
A. 15 December 2007: I love cats, but I think you should be very careful about handling this cat while pregnant. The cat's faeces could carry toxoplasmosis which, if you would get infected, might risk affecting the foetus. If you have to handle the cat's litter at all, ... (read in full...)
He says he's an atheist and therefore won't buy me a Christmas present. Should I stay with him?
Q. my boyfriend refuses to buy me a christmas present because he says he is an atheist and doesnt celebrate christmas. i have already bought him something (very nice that he has been wanting) but last night he told me he wouldnt buy christmas gifts at...
A. 9 December 2007: I think he is being disrespectful and maybe a little lazy. I'm an atheist too but I sure get my close and loved ones christmas presents. I do that to show how much I care about them and appreciate them. To me, as an atheist, christmas is not about ... (read in full...)
My doc confirmed it's a sexual dysfunction. It seems that no man wants to be in a relationship with a woman who does not find sex pleasureable. Can anyone advise, please?
Q. I'm 23 yrs old. Well, right now I feel hurting myself. I don't feel well at all. It seems that no man wants to be in a relationship with a woman who does not find sex pleasureable for her at all. I guess I have a sexual dysfunction sinc...
A. 3 December 2007: Hi,
How long have you known this guy? If it is for a shorter time, I think you should be very careful to go “raw” with him, you risk getting std:s which might cause a much worse problem than the one you have now. Be careful with him if he suggests... (read in full...)
Is it cheating when a wife exchanges expensive gifts and dates another man, even if they never had sex.
Q. A married woman dates a man who is not her husband and for Christmas gives him a gift of a Playstation and two games while accepting an expensive watch in return. She never had sex with this man, but has embraced him and seen him behind her ...
A. 18 November 2007: Yes, it is to be unfaithful and to cheat when seeing someone else behind your back like that, doesn’t matter if she later broke up and separated, you were still married while she did this. She did wrong to you by acting in this way. Since she will ... (read in full...)
Bird brain
Q. Hi, Well it is Waterloo Sunset again and this story is not as good as the mouse story but it always makes me laugh when i think of it. I was with my ex at the time, the same bloke as the mouse story, so that tells you a lot! It was a warm s...
A. 18 November 2007: Hilarious :))))!
Eagerly waiting for more stories!... (read in full...)
I miss her so much it hurts! Should I call her or should I wait to not ruin the work of getting over her?
Q. Hey all my original post is here: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-ex-has-been-giving-me-the-runaround.html So i've now started a new job since uni graduation, I am living in a new location, new house with new people. The thing ...
A. 17 November 2007: Hi,
Be strong! I know how you feel and it is ok to miss her, but try to keep yourself from contacting her. How will you feel if she doesn't respond as you wish, doesn't respond at all, or if she would tell you she has a new boyfriend? Are you real... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my ex's jealous girlfriend??
Q. Ok, i went out with this boy for about 2 years, and then we broke up (for out own reasons). About 6 months after this, he got another girlfriend. They have now been dating for about a year. Me and him are really good friends and now we have gon...
A. 17 November 2007: Hi,
Letting her know she is in a loving relationship is her boyfriend's job, not yours. My advice to you would be to actually back off a bit and stop interfering. Act mature, show some consideration and stop teasing her by uploading pictures that... (read in full...)
What is a casual relationship? I disagree with my partner.
Q. I have been in an intimate relationship with another male for three months. Now he is saying we are moving too fast and in the future we should develop a casual relationship. His definition of casual relationship is a monogamous, committed ...
A. 15 November 2007: Casual does sound a lot like not so committing. On the other hand, if you want to understand him and to understand where this is going, then you should listen more to what he seems to want out of your relationship rather than discussing whether he ... (read in full...)
Insecurity?
Q. My boyfriend has been going through my phone lately. He says, this is something all couples do. I said no it's not!!! He wanted to read my text messages and I didnt want him to. I dont want nobody looking through my phone. When we would talk over ...
A. 15 November 2007: I agree with Duskyrowe, this is invading privacy and definitely not something all couples do. You do have a right to a private sphere even if you are in a relationship, and it doesn't mean anyone is cheating for keeping their messages to themselves. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is going back to his country w/o me
Q. My boyfriend of a year plans to move back to his country, he is unable to get his citizenship here and is very lonely because all his family and friends are there. I am extremely upset and I don't know what to do. He tells me that he doesn't know ...
A. 11 November 2007: I find it a little strange that he says he doesn’t know when he is going to leave, that it can be from 6 months up to 2 years from now. What does he mean by this? Is it that his visa expires within 2 years and he is considering maybe leaving ... (read in full...)
Should I call and ask her if there is anything wrong?
Q. Hi, I have a dilema and don't know what i should do. I've been apart from my ex for 5 mos. In that time, we haven't spoken, since I broke up w/ her, she's cut her hair short, and while occasionally being polite, she's not really calling me etc..bef...
A. 11 November 2007: I think that you should contact her. I don’t think she was trying to tell you about a pregnancy in an indirect way, she probably would have told you directly if that was so. On the other hand I don’t know how or why you broke up, maybe she feels she ... (read in full...)
I've been such an idiot...i broke up with her and am still madly in love.
Q. I have been such an idiot. I broke up with my ex-girlfriend of five years because I was basically not taking responsibility for my experience of life - work, family, friends, my own feelings, you name it really. I loved her and I am still in love ...
A. 8 November 2007: I think that what you need here is closure. You made a decision before to brake up with her and even though you might feel now that you wish you hadn't, it doesn't mean that your decision wasn't right back then. If you had carried on then, you might ... (read in full...)
Lusting after my married 'virtual friend'.
Q. I've friendship with she for one and 1/2 year, but I'm not for sure about one. I met with she in internet chat and never saw, because she lives in another city. She's married and have babyboy. I've virtual friendship... sometimes I call her. She ...
A. 8 November 2007: If she is married it is not likely she would want more from you than friendship or maybe a fling on the side. If you want more from her than this, then I think you should stop this now and move on to meeting someone else that is free to have a real ... (read in full...)
My doc confirmed it's a sexual dysfunction. It seems that no man wants to be in a relationship with a woman who does not find sex pleasureable. Can anyone advise, please?
Q. I'm 23 yrs old. Well, right now I feel hurting myself. I don't feel well at all. It seems that no man wants to be in a relationship with a woman who does not find sex pleasureable for her at all. I guess I have a sexual dysfunction sinc...
A. 8 November 2007: Oh, you must feel so terribly sad! Reading about what your doctor said to you make me very angry, don’t believe this doctor! I can’t believe there would be something so wrong with your body so that you could never feel good with a man, and this ... (read in full...)
Is he shy or just not into me?
Q. okay, I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 months, and I want to know if he is actually taking this seriously...I'm always the one to call him, which isn't very often, I always propose we go on dates, and I'm always the one to make the first ...
A. 8 November 2007: Did you talk to him about it? Even though he could be shy, after 3 months you should be able to talk about these things. Ask him to go somewhere with you where you can talk without others around, and tell him how you feel. If he wants to date you he ... (read in full...)
Is it true most girls prefer taller men?
Q. Hi there I'm very worried about my height being a bloke, 18 and only bout 4ft 10 to 5ft tall n Im probably not going to worry. Is it really true that most girls prefer taller men and if so why would u reckon so? I personally find it harsh not just...
A. 7 November 2007: Hi,
I don't know about most girls, but I'm 5ft 7 and have had a few boyfriends that were shorter than I. It was never an issue or a problem, they were great and I loved them. So much fun I would have missed if I had dismissed them only for bein... (read in full...)
We want to bring our parents in between to talk about marriage, but how do we solve our conflicts first? How to react when she's angry?
Q. I am a 30 year old guy in love, with Long distance relationship since past 5 years. We have never met in person but we both talk to each other on phone. Everything was going fine till this year in January. I had met a girl (Call her A) while ...
A. 4 November 2007: I agree with PM that you should find a way to meet with her in person soon. You are now at a turning point and how you solve this issue, which is about restoring her trust in you, is very important for your future. I assume that if you get married ... (read in full...)
Should I move or not?
Q. My boyfriend lives in London, and I live in the US. Im willing to move there for him. but I dont know what I should do. Should I stay here and find someone else, or do I move to his country to try living with him?...
A. 3 November 2007: I'm sorry, I didn't take notice of your age before. I agree with the others that if you are 16-17 it is much too early to make such a huge decision to move overseas unless you have family to stay with there. At age 16-17 I wouldn't advice you to ... (read in full...)
Should I move or not?
Q. My boyfriend lives in London, and I live in the US. Im willing to move there for him. but I dont know what I should do. Should I stay here and find someone else, or do I move to his country to try living with him?...
A. 3 November 2007: Hi,
If you are in love with him i think you should go there. Unless he can go and live where you are. It doesn't hurt to make a try and if you find out you don't like it you can move back again. If you don't go you might end up always wondering how ... (read in full...)
Is it unfair to think my husband should stand up for me?
Q. My husband has a new business partner, who I sense does not like me. We are in each other's company a lot. Last night the partner made a very negative comment to me and about me, in front of my husband. My husband obviously knew I would be upset, ...
A. 3 November 2007: Hi,
I don't think it changes anything that they are friends as well as business partners. I think Richard Emids advice is very clever and good, this does say a lot more about the partner than about you and you should probably just ignore most of s... (read in full...)
I'm short of money - how do I move to Sweden?
Q. I want to go abroad to live ,just as Sweden,but I donot have enough money,the most importance is I am afraid to go to a place without friends! If any body can tell me how to do?...
A. 3 November 2007: Hi,
Dreams like this you must do whatever you can to follow. Whether you make it or not, at least then you will not sit wondering what if... Don't be afraid of going on your own, if you go studying, which is probably the easiest way for you, the... (read in full...)
My ex is getting engaged and I don't know what to do?
Q. I dated my first love off and on for five years. After finding out that he had been lying to me and hanging out with this girl I flipped out and we broke up. He told me that he wasn't ready to settle down yet and that he needed five years to do ...
A. 3 November 2007: Hi,
I understand it must feel hard and confusing now when your ex is getting engaged. It is very painful to see someone you loved for such long time to move on with someone else. Does he know how you feel, that you haven't yet gotten over him? It s... (read in full...)
Is it unfair to think my husband should stand up for me?
Q. My husband has a new business partner, who I sense does not like me. We are in each other's company a lot. Last night the partner made a very negative comment to me and about me, in front of my husband. My husband obviously knew I would be upset, ...
A. 3 November 2007: I agree, your husband should stand by you in this. He doesn't have to have a full-blown fight with the business partner, but to clearly express to him in a polite manner that making negative comments about his wife is not ok, would not be too much ... (read in full...)
How can I start caring again?
Q. Okay well this may be a little strange, but I dont care. Big whoop. Well I dont care enough to get involved with a female. When I was a kid and in school thats all I did was care. I was a kind and caring person. Just about every female I was in ...
A. 3 November 2007: Hi,
Maybe you have come to another stage of your life. You had lots of fun and got it easily, now you don't feel this is giving you the same feeling anymore. It sounds like maybe you will want something more solid and long-lasting than previous rela... (read in full...)
My fiance accuses me of cheating, he's also immature, how can I cope?
Q. My fiance is always asking me if i'm with someone else and it sucks because i am always so honest . I feel as if it's his past that makes him insecure (his player lifestyle)..well sunday i went over to talk to him about it..and again he began with ...
A. 2 November 2007: Hi,
I understand why you are so hurt by this, it sounds really tough. You mention in one of your updates that you wonder why this is all your fault, well it isn't all your fault. You are two in this relationship and it doesn't seem to me as if he i... (read in full...)
My fiance accuses me of cheating, he's also immature, how can I cope?
Q. My fiance is always asking me if i'm with someone else and it sucks because i am always so honest . I feel as if it's his past that makes him insecure (his player lifestyle)..well sunday i went over to talk to him about it..and again he began with ...
A. 1 November 2007: Hi,
Nobody can tell you how long to wait or what to do, you must decide this for yourself, but my advice would be not to wait much longer, maybe actually not at all. Because as Fade878 says, this is abusive behaviour. I agree that this behaviou... (read in full...)
My fiance accuses me of cheating, he's also immature, how can I cope?
Q. My fiance is always asking me if i'm with someone else and it sucks because i am always so honest . I feel as if it's his past that makes him insecure (his player lifestyle)..well sunday i went over to talk to him about it..and again he began with ...
A. 1 November 2007: I know! This is really bad because it leaves you feeling hurt because of what he did AND hurt over the fact that you can't get through to him to make him understand how how disrespectful his behaviour is and how bad this is making you feel. Your ... (read in full...)
How many partners have you had?
Q. This is a very general question, based on the numerous questions that I see posted about couples dealing with one partner's sexual past. How many sexual partners have YOU had? Do you regret the number, be it big or small? How many "one-night-stand...
A. 31 October 2007: 35 yrs. 9 partners 0 one-night stands. I don't regret them, I had honest intentions in all cases :)
It would be interesting to see an update from you with the calculated results. I have a hypothesis: Will the results reflect the inequali... (read in full...)
She says she likes me as a friend, but she's not continuing that relationship
Q. Hi, I met this girl who is a orpan,adopted by a holland couple when she was a yr old.She was adopted from bombay(india).She had come to India for around 14 dayz.When we had gone out for the 1st time we talked a lot about our cultures and stuff li...
A. 30 October 2007: p.s.
Just wanted to add that from reading your first follow-up, it really does look like she did like you. You weren't crazy to believe that (in case you ever did :)). Whatever happened then is a mystery and you might never find out. She could have... (read in full...)
She says she likes me as a friend, but she's not continuing that relationship
Q. Hi, I met this girl who is a orpan,adopted by a holland couple when she was a yr old.She was adopted from bombay(india).She had come to India for around 14 dayz.When we had gone out for the 1st time we talked a lot about our cultures and stuff li...
A. 30 October 2007: Hi again,
Yes, I agree, it really would be nice to be told what is going on. To just stop contacting without explanation is not very nice since it leaves you wondering about it. It hurts a lot when these things happen, I know. I'm sorry it happ... (read in full...)
She says she likes me as a friend, but she's not continuing that relationship
Q. Hi, I met this girl who is a orpan,adopted by a holland couple when she was a yr old.She was adopted from bombay(india).She had come to India for around 14 dayz.When we had gone out for the 1st time we talked a lot about our cultures and stuff li...
A. 28 October 2007: It sounds like she decided not to pursue this after all. How many times did you contact her? If only once or twice, maybe you could try one more time and just ask her how she is and that you miss talking to her. If you already did take contact many ... (read in full...)
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