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... Send *azyGuy a private message | | | *azyGuy's profile:I am 37 year old dutch male who used to think he was the mythical "nice guy" but realized that he really was just to lazy to be bad.
Worked a lot of different jobs, going where-ever the money happens to be and traveled a bit. |
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| Latest articles: Men can't read women
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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30 March 2008: Slashdot is a geek site focussing mostly on tech. Relationship advice is not something you will find there, but this story just has to be mentioned. http://entertainment.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/03/30/0028211 http://www.livescience.co...
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How can I cover up the bruises and scratches I got from my boyfriend?
Q. How can i cover these bruises i got from my boyfriend and the scratches on my wrists that i did to myself because of him hurting me? They are fresh and just done today. Before u judge me about hurting myself. Its because my whole life from six years ...
A. 1 October 2008: You need to seek proffesional help, hurting yourself is very bad because it doesn't stop on its own and will only get worse.
Being with someone who makes you feel like hurting yourself is not the right thing to do. Being alone might be hard but... (read in full...)
Why did he start pushing my head down?
Q. For the first time the other day i gave my boyfriend of 6 months a blow job... he started to hold my head and at times push my head down? when he pushes my head down what does this mean? is it because hes enjoying it? or is it because its not ...
A. 1 October 2008: When you are receiving oral, do you just lie there passively or grab his head and pull him closer as well?
If you weren't uncomfortable with it, then it was just part of the act. Part of it might be an attempt to deepthroath you.
If he wasn't ... (read in full...)
Can a marriage survive when sex is so important to one person and so not important to the other?
Q. My husband and I have not had sex in 5 months. I am pregnant - 6 months pregnant. We have other children and have been married for six years. We have gone to counseling for our marriage because we do not have sex nearly as often as I would like. ...
A. 1 October 2008: Society does tell us men want sex and women don't. Society is a bit stupid, women are the horny ones not men.
The proof? Which sex feels pain the first time, yet still does it? Which sex risks pregnancy each time, and still does it?
You can... (read in full...)
What do younger guys think about FWB?
Q. Hey, just a quick question - what do younger guys think about the whole 'friends with benefits' idea? Recently I broke up with my boyfriend and although I get lonely and miserable, I don't want another committed relationship for a good while. I ...
A. 30 September 2008: Eh, you are offering sex with no strings and find only guys who want to commit to long-term relationships?
Did you hear that sound? That is 3 billion women screaming at you.
You should make a post about where you find these guy's because it... (read in full...)
What makes a woman marriage material?
Q. I just wanted to know what makes a woman marriage material...what do guys really look for when the want to marry a woman....would a guy marry a woman who was promiscuos in her past if she had changed???...
A. 30 September 2008: You commit to a person if you think that person is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Discounting for the moment those who marry on a rush of hormones, the sensible thing to look for in a long-term partner is compatib... (read in full...)
Begging for help: pregnant and very broken.
Q. I feel very desperate I need help before I completely break down. It was love at first sight. And for 2years we had never experienced such immense happiness while being with someone. We really fell in love. We had all those typical talks th...
A. 30 September 2008: You need to wake up. He was never the nice guy you thought he was. A nice guy doesn't drop his pregnant gf, neither does he then keep her on the side as a new novelty toy.
You can see in his eyes that he still loves you.
Oh dear god. That i... (read in full...)
Should I put my mom in a nursinghome?
Q. Hi I am going through the hardest time of my life right now and feel terriable and guilty. My Mother is 84 years old with really bad dementia. So me and my daughter had to move in but she has never liked my daughter and has a controlling ...
A. 30 September 2008: One of my experiences with dementia was with a neighbour. An old woman who still lived on herself in a small house in the same street.
She would on occasion wander off and one time she had fallen down and I arrived home to find her on the pavement... (read in full...)
Are there any good old guys still out there? Where do I go to find him?
Q. After I got divorced I started to date. Seems that I am horrible at choosing a good,honest guy to date. So far the few Ive dated want only a casual thing and they are way selfish in bed and two minutes and they are done and thats it no ...
A. 30 September 2008: Well, no.
Not a lot of them anyway, if he is a catch then somebody will have caught him by now. At your age, the only good old guys are widowers. A pure bachelor at that age probably never wants to get married for his own reasons and a divorced... (read in full...)
I feel so used and violated. Does anyone else think this behaviour is abnormal?
Q. I think i was violated by a guy i just had sex with. I hung out with this guy twice, the first time he tried taking my pants off but i insisted they stay on. I wish i would have listened to my instincts that he only wanted sex from me, but i ...
A. 30 September 2008: Whose behavior are you inquiring about? Are you the abnormal one or him?
You had your warning on the first date, yet went on with the second one and got drunk on it as well making you even more vulnerable.
His sexual preferences are ... (read in full...)
Husband want anal sex but it's too painful for me! What should I do?
Q. My husband seems to like painful anal sex. I do it and he knows it hurts me. He likes to watch porn about it too. Any ideas? ...
A. 30 September 2008: You are wrong. He doesn't like painful anal sex.
He likes giving you pain.
If he liked painful anal sex, you would be using a dildo on him.
You are the one getting painful anal sex and clearly don't like it.
So again, he likes giving you... (read in full...)
How do I tell my father that I'm pregnant? He has absolutely zero empathy and worries more about money than anything else!
Q. Hello All, I would like some tips or advice on how to tell my father that I am pregnant. Here is a little info: I am 26 years old and in a stable relationship. I have told my mother, sister, brother, and all my friends. Everyone seems to be ex...
A. 26 September 2008: To his defence, he is the caretaker of the family. You might complain about him worrying about money but something tells me that when it came time to pay your medical bills, education, clothes etc etc when you grew up, it was him who did the ... (read in full...)
Do men in their 30's want women as just friends or do they usually want more?
Q. You swap numbers with someone (just as friends) that you have known in the pub for a few months and they txt a couple of days later asking if your well and saying have a nice day, you reply, then they invite you round for a cup of tea, you have a ...
A. 25 September 2008: Why should we WANT female friends. You might end up with one but why specifically go out and try to find one just for the purpose of being friends with and nothing more? When you do NOT have someone already?
Anyway, even if you are friends,... (read in full...)
Bigger does feel better but is it SAFE? My husband and I have experimented with large sex toys.
Q. Dear Cupid, My husband and I have been happily married for 30 years. We are both in our early fifties and enjoy sex tremendously. Over the past year my husband decided it was time for me to experience the feeling of being penetrated both ...
A. 25 September 2008: Soreness afterwards MIGHT just be the same soreness you feel after a hard workout. You are after all stretching your muscles.
If there is no pain during, then it is just your muscles saying "Ouch, that was a bit much, we need a rest".
But the... (read in full...)
What exactly happens when a guy reaches orgasm or ejaculates? Can you describe this please?
Q. I've never felt it when my bf ejaculates but i know that he does. He never makes any noises or anything. I would sometimes feel him hold me tight and goes deeper inside during sex. But i'm not really sure if is that the time when he is ejaculating. ...
A. 25 September 2008: Give him a handjob and watch.... (read in full...)
Why do teen guys only have one thing on their mind? What's the big deal about sleeping around while you're so young?! Why are they like this?
Q. why do guys nowadays only want one thing. ONE thing. every single guy that i like, end up going out with them for like a month n then they think they can get straight into my pants, i was goin out wi this guy called "R" and i was with him for 9 ...
A. 25 September 2008: Well, I admit that as a teen I had only one thing on my mind. I fantasised about it, dreamed about it, discussed it with my friends near constantly. We wanted it, we needed it.
As for the sleeping around. Well, we had to do something before w... (read in full...)
Why do guys only like skinny, slutty girls and why don't they like overweight girls, who are great people on the inside? Any insights?
Q. i want to know why guys are so mean and picky that they only like skinny girls that are slutty and why they don't like overweight girls. It really hurts my feelings that they judge me based on the way that i look and not whats on the inside, I ...
A. 25 September 2008: Eh, why do guys like slutty girls... BECAUSE THEY ARE SLUTS!
Fat or skinny doesn't make a difference. They put out!
Skinny girls ask the same question. Why do girls only like fat slutty girls and who don't they like fit girls, who are great pe... (read in full...)
When I try to get intimate I am often pushed away. I'm so frustrated with our sex life! Is it because of his premature ejaculation and what can be done about it?
Q. Hi! My name is Jayne and am extremely fustrated with my love life. Here's the situation--my boyfriend of a little over 6 months does not want to ever have sex--it's like pulling teeth or something. In all other aspects of our relationship ...
A. 25 September 2008: There could be two things going on, first: He is an asshole who only cares about his own pleasure. The way you describe him that seems unlikely and if that was the case he would just have sex more often with you although only for his sake.
Secon... (read in full...)
My affair wants nothing to do with me since my pregnancy and is now only paying child support!
Q. I am distraught i have just given birth to a baby boy and the father has said he wants nothing to do with him.He is married and we had an affair for a few months when he found out i was pregnant he got caught at the same time. He wanted to stay with ...
A. 25 September 2008: He promised to support you.
The same promise he made to his wife to be true and all the other stuff in his wedding vows?
He cheated on his family with you. Now he cheated on you. Big suprise.
Consider yourself lucky he is paying child suppo... (read in full...)
Why does my guy hide his porn habit from me?
Q. What should I do about my guy porn habit? We've been together for almost two years, and when we started dating I made it very clear that porn was not an option because I consider it cheating. I told him that if he wanted to watch the stuff that I ...
A. 25 September 2008: You forbid him from having porn, demand an explanation and that it is thrown out when you find it. You wonder why he hides it from you but then say that it would be less a problem if he didn't hide it from you.
Not all these statements can be t... (read in full...)
Is it legal to do sex between an unmarried couple in a hotel room?
Q. I want to do sexual intercourse with my girlfriend in a hotel. Is it legal to do sex between an unmarried couple in a hotel room? May I arrested by the police?...
A. 25 September 2008: Please if you give advice, LOOK at the little flag.
Remember then that India in many ways is more primitive then say Iran. Although in both countries women have been put to death for for instance sex outside marriage, at least in Iran this is ... (read in full...)
I get frustrated and angry at little things he says and can't seem to control it, why am I behaving like this?
Q. I am concerned. I have been with my man 5 years. We recently had a 7 month break as our reltionship was in a bit of a rut (my call). I am glad to be back together, and he is making such an effort, doing everything he can to make things better. I...
A. 25 September 2008: Do you perhaps have a picture in your head of what this relationship should be like and when he doesn't life up to that, you lash out? Frustrated he ain't perfect?
It might even be that you got more then one picture in your head of what things s... (read in full...)
I am having a hard time with him keeping a hang on his past, is it me or what?
Q. I been married for a very short time and it seems he cant let go of his past girl friend he keeps her pics in his puter looks for her emails and he had bought this dog for her and after a yr or two she didnt wat it so he kept it the dog comes ...
A. 25 September 2008: Do you keep anything from past lovers? A ring, a letter, a photo? Most people do. Unless you have thrown out every piece of jewellery ever given to you by a non-famility member, so do you. If he keeps his photo's on a computer and hers are among ... (read in full...)
My live-in partner has changed tremendously since the baby was born. He says that he hates me. I really do not know what to do.
Q. I am 35 years old and about 10 years ago I met the love of my life. We were both seeing other people at the time. He was living with his significant other. We both worked together at the same company. We could not help ourselves and ended up ...
A. 25 September 2008: You say he is not a deadbeat. Has been a director of SEVERAL tech companies. Was this say in the period 1995-2001?
Oh dear. You meet him again 2.5 years later so, that is 7.5 years ago. That put it in 2000 when he is bankrupt and out of a job?
... (read in full...)
I can't remember if he wore a condom or not, my period was very light and short, now I seem to be having pregnancy symptoms, but I can't go to the doctors on my own nor can afford a pregnancy test, help!
Q. Hi, I'm a very confused person at the moment! I would be very happy if you would reply nicely with advice and not actually insulting, because I am only 16. A very confused one at that. So, I had sex roughly on the 28th August.. I can't remembe...
A. 25 September 2008: You can go to the doctor on your own, under the british system you should have insurance but even so, there are clinics especially for these cases.
http://www.brook.org.uk/
Is just one of many places to offer free tests, check your local area ... (read in full...)
I've been on a period for three weeks! Could I be infertile?
Q. I'm 14-years-old and started my period when i was 13. Since then they have been somewhat irregular, and light. Then in April i had a extremely heavy period where i was bleeding every 30 seconds. Then for some reason i didn't have another period for ...
A. 25 September 2008: Not a sign of infertility, you could be regular enough to set a clock by and still be infertile or as irregular as a teen girl and pregnant if a man looks at you funny.
Good for you to simply go and see a doctor if you think something is wrong bu... (read in full...)
Am I doomed to stay with this man -till death do us part- just so I can keep my kids together?
Q. I dont know what to do. Can anyone help pls? about 5 months ago my husband suggested we try a 3sum to spice things up in our sex life, to make matters more complicated my husband said it should be with an ex of mine (well i say ex, i had an affa...
A. 25 September 2008: and this boys and girls is why you shouldn't engage in three-somes and/or cheat and if you do, use birth-control.
There really isn't any advice I can give you, except to consult a lawyer and maybe get some serious relationship counseling so you t... (read in full...)
I love him but I can't get turned on to him! Help-any advice?
Q. I use to be very sexually active with my husband but now it just went away. I still find him very attractive and i love him more then anything, but i just cant figure out why i cant get turned on. I've tried role playing, using toys and even ...
A. 25 September 2008: Are you perhaps starting to get depressed with the whole adult life thing?
From your age I would presume you two are newly weds, just out of school starting your career and perhaps you are starting to realize that it is not all that you hoped fo... (read in full...)
Should I end this before I do something bad...or should I stick it out?
Q. My boyfriend thinks the world of me. He cries when he talks about how much he loves me, and there is no doubt in my mind that I love him too. We finish eachother's sentences and take the words from eachother's mouths. It feels as though we've rea...
A. 25 September 2008: Sounds like somebody needs to get a vibrator and let of some steam.
You could also use contraceptives, with the pill and a condom with spermacides the changes of getting pregnant are extremely rare.
Neither does being intimate have to mean int... (read in full...)
If I had a 3'sum with another guy and my girl, would that make me gay?
Q. I'm a straight guy and i'm just curious, i haven't done this yet, but i want to try for once to have sex with another man and my girl. Also, would that mean i'm gay?...
A. 25 September 2008: If you are not mature enough yet to be comfortable with a threesome, then you are not mature enough yet to have one.... (read in full...)
Please help. I'm too scared to leave him, beacuse we have two beautiful daughters together, and I don't know what he'd do.
Q. ive been with my boyfriend for 3years and we have two kids. he always yells at me, he calls me names like bitch, whore , dumb ass, etc . he hits me and pushes me, but i love him and he says he loves me, but im not to sure. he always calls to see wher...
A. 25 September 2008: Okay, I am a stranger to you. If I walked up to you, sayed that I cared about you and then punched you in the face, what would your reaction be?
Would you believe that I cared for you?
More drastic, say that I told you I loved kids, then I bea... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hit me, but the thought of leaving him hurts too much.
Q. My boyfriend hit me, and the thought of me having to leave and star all over with another guy hurts so bad I still love him to death cause we been together for a year and a half. Should I leave him? ...
A. 25 September 2008: What hurts more? A bruise or a broken heart? How about a broken tooth? Being choked? Dying?
He hit you, he will do so again and it will get worse.
So, you have to decide, at what point do you decide that a broken heart is the lesser of two ev... (read in full...)
Men hardly ever approach me or notice me-Advice please?
Q. I need some advice on something. Men hardly ever approach me or notice me. I see all types of women getting approached or complimented by men, but not me. Women seem to have nicer things to say. I am African-American, slim and 5'7". Some people ...
A. 25 September 2008: Well, a google for Stacy Dash shows a mature woman who posed for playboy.
If you really look like that, then you just have to stop visiting gay bars.
There is a difference between noticing a woman and approaching her.
You may notice a woma... (read in full...)
Has porn really become so prevalent that it has shaped the sexuality of people today?
Q. Are all young men fascinated by porn? After 20 years of marriage to my first and only sex partner, I got divorced and decided to live a little and see much younger men. In the bedroom, they all seem to want to live out their porn fantasies. They...
A. 24 September 2008: Indeed, and exactly what shaped you desire to have sex with much younger men?
You acuse them of wanting to live out their fantasies, fantasies that have been around for far longer then porn, while you are living out your own fantasy with them.
... (read in full...)
He threatened he'd stay in the rain, suicidal, so I invited him to my house where he continued his abuse, when I refused sex he said his ex was better, etc. Is this emotional blackmail?
Q. Hello there, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 16 months now. When i first met him he was a depressant after splitting up with his ex girlfriend, i helped him through it and he has been on and off them for some time know. He often says he ...
A. 24 September 2008: 16 months ago, did you get a boyfriend or a project? Did you drive by the 2nd hand shop to pick up fix'em up'er with the idea that with a bit of DIY you would get yourself a real good one?
Sorry, that hardly works. The guy was a nutcase when you... (read in full...)
He prefers sex with 'himself' than me! What can I do?
Q. i have been with the same man for about nineteen years, and we stop sleeping together for about eight years in the same bed. thats ok with me. its the sex that i am concerned about. he would rather watch porn than to have sex with me. i dont even ...
A. 22 September 2008: Lets face it, the marriage seems over. You had an affair, you both are okay with sleeping apart and neither of you seems to be willing to put in any effort to work this out.
Love isn't something that just happens and keeps on happening, you got ... (read in full...)
Do other straight males masturbate to other males sometimes?
Q. I am interested in girls and I can never picture myself with a boy in real life. When I masturbate, I sometimes think about other males (all the males I have thought about are my friends). I sometimes masturbate to pictures of my male friends,...
A. 20 September 2008: Nope.
Most likely you are somewhat bi-curious, but a hetero guy does not masturbate to pictures of his friends with their shirts off.
You might want to ask yourself why you want to claim to be straight when you are whacking of looking at other... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever had a serious relationship develop from a one-night stand?
Q. I am just curious, has anyone ever had a serious relationship leading to love after a one night stand or sex the first night you've met them? Is it possible for him to respect you after you did the deed?...
A. 19 September 2008: Sure it is, and as said, it is possible to win the lotto. Just don't count on it.... (read in full...)
Can guys run out of sperm?
Q. Hey guys, just wondering if I could run out of sperm after having sex a large number of times in a year/week, I mean, women run out of eggs, but supposudly, a man produces around 2 million sperm a day, but what if you run out of all 2 million? Will ...
A. 19 September 2008: It is produced constantly but not at the same rate, sexual excitement increases it.
Excess sperm is simply re-absorbed in the body, this means sperm is always fresh and because of the male recovery time between orgasms there is always some spe... (read in full...)
I can't achieve an orgasm with bf or ex's.-thoughts or advice would be much appreciated
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for over two years and i've had other partners before him. i can not achive an orgasm with him and never have with anyone else either. i can do it myself but i have an odd way of doing it. i lie on my stomach and rub my ...
A. 18 September 2008: So, you can masturbate yourself to orgasm, so why don't you get him to do this, or do this yourself during intercourse?
If you lie flat down on your stomach he can still have sex with you and you can get the stimulation you need.
For lots of w... (read in full...)
I befreiended a high end escort with whom I have casual sex, I am jealous of her dates, what is the right thing to do?
Q. I befriended an very beautiful high end escort that I saw three years ago, while i was going through a divorce. At the time she needed a place to move and I offered my spare room. At first we were just friends. It was like that for a year and half...
A. 18 September 2008: She seems used to use sex to get what she wants, either money or an apartment.
Frankly, stop being jealous enjoy the moment but be aware to her sex is just a tool, nothing more, nothing less. Use her like she is using you or get her out of your ... (read in full...)
I'm unsure about losing my virginity. I love my boyfriend, but I promised myself I would wait until marriage.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 1 month and 15 days (( Yes, I counted the days, shoot me )) and we've been talking about sex latley. We played the nervous game one time and he was suppose to go in my pants, but he went in my underwear by ...
A. 18 September 2008: Together forever, after 1 month and 15 days.
Right, because that is some serious commitment.
You haven't even been one season together, not shared a holiday or most likely a birthday. And you talk about forever.
Understandable at you... (read in full...)
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