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... Send *ev Conolly a private message | | | *ev Conolly's profile:I'm female, 44 and raised in the western US. I was married first at age 17, which I realised soon after was a rather large mistake! We divorced seven years later, then I travelled around the world, settling in Australia. I met my husband here and we've been together for 18 years, married for 14. I feel much more Australian than I ever felt American.
I wish I knew a lot more about everything than I do, but at least I have a lot of experience at making poor choices in life and correcting them later. That's why I like to provide advice when it's asked for.
As to my pictorial representation... I play the bagpipes. Badly, to be sure, but the best thing about the pipes is, almost no one can tell you don't have any skill!
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Fourteen and pregnant! What do I do?
Q. Hi, I am 14 and I am in trouble. I know you think "you are only 14. What are you doing thinking about sex already?" I know I shouldn't be, but I have and I have ended up pregnant. I have took 2 posative tests and I don't know what to do. Should I...
A. 11 June 2006: I'm so sorry that you have to make this decision at this time in your life. It's hard to "tell" you what to do; all I can do is give you suggestions. In spite of the fact that everyone who responds is going to have their own opinion, you have to do ... (read in full...)
Feeling guilty about breaking up with my boyfriend
Q. ive split up with my boyfriend and feel really guilty what should i do?...
A. 8 June 2006: Ask yourself why you feel guilty? Is it just because things didn't work out and his feelings are hurt too? Or is it because you were nasty about breaking up? Or something else?
If you were as kind to him when breaking up as you'd want someone ... (read in full...)
Abused as a 6-year-old, but the abuse came from a woman!
Q. I was abused when I was 6 years old. The thing is, it was done to me by a woman. I told my boyfriend about the abuse (as there were certain things I don't like doing because of what happened to me) and he automatically assumed it was a man that had ...
A. 8 June 2006: I'm so sorry about the way you were hurt, but yes, women *can* abuse kids, and NO, you're not "disgusting and crazy".
The stats for physical abuse of children by women are heavily skewed toward men (something on the order of 50:1), but sadly, w... (read in full...)
What kind of penis would women rather have?
Q. What is it that women prefer when having sex with a man? A long penis is or a thick one (in diameter)?...
A. 8 June 2006: It doesn't matter, because what you've got, you've got for life. And the preference of your female partner (assuming she has one) doesn't enter the equation, because she's stuck with (or loves) whatever you have.
Say you have a thick one, and... (read in full...)
Is it okay for hair to grow in certain places?
Q. is it normal for a teenager boy to have hair grow on his arms, both lower and upper, on his back neck and borderline, stomach and legs same as the arms, and im 15 and im really worried because you can see the hair plzzzz help me...
A. 8 June 2006: Yes, you're normal, and if your mates kid you about it, they're probably feeling a bit jealous that you look more manly than they do.
Don't worry, some men are very hairy, and some are not. Try to accept that this is "normal" for you, and don't be... (read in full...)
Not even dating a year yet, and my boyfriend has proposed! What do I do?
Q. I am 17 and my boyfriend is 18 and he recently asked me to marry him! We've only been going out for 11 months and I love him but I'm only 17 and have my whole life ahead of me, plus he's in the Marines. I'm really confused. I dont know what to ...
A. 8 June 2006: It's OK to say, "I'm not ready to get married yet, but I still love you. Let's wait."
You're right about your whole life being ahead of you. Seventeen is a great age, because you're able to do anything you want with your life: start a career, ... (read in full...)
What is emo?
Q. Im sorry if this offends people like it did when i asked this girl. I asked her 'what is an emo'... and she was saying she didn't want to tell me because everyone called it her when she kept on saying that she wasn't. So can any one else here tell ...
A. 8 June 2006: Whenever I need to know something like this, I go to Google, so I just did and got definitions that include:
* a town near Dublin
* the US "emergency management office"
* an abbreviation of "emotionally-driven hardcore punk",
and others.
... (read in full...)
Want some help making our conversations less one-sided!
Q. I am really starting to like this girl and I do talk to her quite a lot, but the thing is it is always me that has to bring something up to talk about. How can I get this girl I like to be more open with me?...
A. 7 June 2006: Ask her opinion on something that interests her. What does she like to do? Is she interested in a special show on TV? Is she a computing whiz? Does she raise chinchillas in the garage? Does she work for a political party? Does she dance? Is she a ... (read in full...)
Have I lost my virginity? Could I be pregnant?
Q. Me and my boyfriend were missing around and were going to have sex without a comdom, but my bf couldn't get it all the way up and he wasn't there for long. Does this make me not a virgin and could I have got pregnant from what we did?...
A. 7 June 2006: The virginity question is always an iffy one. There will be people who claim that if he didn't get it all the way in, you're still "technically" a virgin. Or if he didn't get past your hymen, you're still a virgin. And then there'll be those who say ... (read in full...)
She doesn't feel the same as I do about her....what can I do?
Q. i'm a 23 years old male i fell in love with my best friend,i told her about it and she didnt feel the same way with me,i love her so much,what should i do?...
A. 7 June 2006: Sorry, but you can't "do" anything, other than deal with the fact that she doesn't reciprocate. It's hard, and it can make it challenging to remain friends when you love her, but nothing you can do will change the truth.
A bit of self-ana... (read in full...)
Wait for boyfriend in prison or move onto a younger man...
Q. ok so here goes... I have been with my current boyfriend for 18 months.. he is 20 and i am 17 we live together and get on pretty well most of the time..he has been violent towards me in the past which made me quite insecure. Hes recently been rem...
A. 7 June 2006: You're in a perfect position to get away from a guy who already makes you uneasy and who, by your own admission, has been abusive to you. Hurrah! Do it! Don't answer his phone calls. Don't respond to his letters. Let it be over, and thank the ... (read in full...)
Revenge the best medicine?
Q. I got dumped, and now I want revenge, problem is he is in another part of town and I cant go and flaunt my stuff, I want him to hurt real bad and I want him to feel guilty for hurting me. I wish he could come back and say he wants me so I can play ...
A. 7 June 2006: No, not a good idea.
In fact, it's a really petulant and childish response, not a reaction by a thinking adult, and while I'm not saying your feelings of anger aren't real (they are), you'll find that you get over them fairly quickly if you just... (read in full...)
I need tips on flirting
Q. i cant flirt, when meet someone i always go the wrong way about it, can someone give me some flirting tips please?...
A. 7 June 2006: Why do you need to flirt? Most guys appreciate directness and honesty anyway.
Smile, make good eye contact, be friendly, ask questions and show interest in the answers. Those are things you *can't* go wrong with, and they can't be misunder... (read in full...)
My parents dispise my boyfriend, but I know he's the one...what can I do??
Q. how do you make your parents understand that your ex boyfriend is actually the one and you guys want to be together, when they hate him? we are serious about eachother and are to afraid to even talk to them about it. his parents know we are meant to ...
A. 6 June 2006: Maybe your parents actually have some experience behind them, and are looking at facts you're choosing to ignore because you're afraid of being "alone". Might they have a valid *reason* for not liking him?
For example, why is he your "ex"-boy... (read in full...)
We've been together for 3 years, is it time to have sex?
Q. hi i have just gone into year nine at school and me and my boyfriend have been going out with each other since te begining of year 6. we are madly in love i know he is the one for me and we are really open with each other. the thing is i dont know ...
A. 6 June 2006: If you're not sure, you're not ready. Simple.
Wait until you're Absolutely, Positively, 100% Sure that you want to have sex, and you're confident that it's nothing you'll regret.
Then do one more thing: talk with your boyfriend about ... (read in full...)
Am I in danger of unfairly spoiling my niece?
Q. There are some wonderful, smart people on this site, and I sure hope you can help me. My hubby and I have no children, but I have two brothers-one has two boys,19 and 13 y.o.; the other has one girl, 12 y.o., and is divorced from her mother. Since ...
A. 6 June 2006: Yes, I think your niece has worked out that doing well academically can translate into cash from you. Because there's not a lot of fat in her family's budget, she's probably more sensitive to that than your nephews are.
I think you have a couple... (read in full...)
Troubled by acne, and I never was before!
Q. Hi, my face has been breaking out lately and I don't know why. I've never had a problem with acne before but it's getting worse now for some reason. I'm a pretty mature 15 year old, though it could still be my age I guess. Also I've used proactiv...
A. 6 June 2006: If your cleansing routines have stayed the same, and you're washing (gently but thoroughly) 2 or 3 times a day, then yes, it's likely just your age, and there's nothing you can really do about that, but be patient.
If it's really worse than nor... (read in full...)
I am scared of losing my virginity
Q. i am really scared to loose my virginity i am 14 and 2 months so the time will come in the next few years. i am really worried. most of my friends have had sex beofore and they say it really hurts, they say when the skin breaks (cherry pops) it ...
A. 6 June 2006: Dr Psych speaks the truth (Thank you, Dr!)
First-time sex isn't as painful as that. Your friends are riling you up and exaggerating. I would characterise the sensation as more "uncomfortable", than painful. And you may not even have a hymen to... (read in full...)
I REALLY WANT A BOYFRIEND!!!!!
Q. I'm fifteen years old an my love life is..... well I don't really have one, I have a lot of male friends but i guess they dont get more then a just friends vibe. I REALLY WANT A BOYFRIEND!!!!! PLZ HELP (give me tips, give me some kind of advise)...
A. 6 June 2006: Here's my tip: Look inside your own heart and complete this sentence:
"Having a boyfriend is important to me because..."
...It will complete your life?
...It will validate your existence?
...You want sex?
..."All" your friends hav... (read in full...)
School ends and I might never see my crush again!
Q. I'm 13 years old.I only have 3 days left in School before it ends.I've never even talked to my crush.Can some one give me tips on asking her out?...
A. 6 June 2006: TV and media give kids the idea that there's something magical or difficult about asking someone out, but that's not true. You DON'T have to have "a line" (please don't use them; they're always hokey). You DON'T have to be popular or suave. You ... (read in full...)
I waited a year and admired her from a distance. Then I told her I was in love with her and she freaked!
Q. Hi, I have admired this girl for a year now, and I finally spoke to her a few days ago. Im in love with her. I told her and I think it freaked her out. I need to know what to do because I'm so attatchd to her now......
A. 5 June 2006: Mushy movies to the contrary, going up to a girl and telling her "I love you" when you don't even know her isn't going to win her heart. In fact, it's *always* going to have the effect of making her nervous.
I know that you wanted to say somethin... (read in full...)
Mom found out I was intimate with my bf and wants me to break up with him! What should I do?
Q. hi i turned 14 on may 9th and i go to a school near my mums friend(kath)`s house and the other day me and my boyfriend (my parents think we are just friends they dont know we go out) were walking home from school and we got near kaths house and we ...
A. 5 June 2006: Try to see this from your mum's point of view.
You've only just turned fourteen, so you're still barely on the brink of adolescence, and you're already sneaking around kissing, hugging and (your mum would think) "god-only-knows-what-else" with you... (read in full...)
When we argued, my BF started spreading around copies of my sexy photo!
Q. Hi I am 13 years old and I have a 15 year old boyfriend. We don't do anything sexual or anything and we aren't ready for that yet. I had a picture took of me in my sexy underwear and I was laying in a sexy pose. He swore to me when he took it he wo...
A. 5 June 2006: You've already done two things, I hope:
1. Dump this arrogant ass.
2. File this incident in your long-term memory, for the next time you're tempted to pose for a sexy wank-shot for some future boyfriend.
Let's reiterate your situation. You ... (read in full...)
I need to get rid of unwanted body hair so the girls don't think I'm a freak! Any suggestions?
Q. i want to get rid of unwanted hair on my upper legs and arm, is their any cream that does that, i mean i dnt want that hair to grow again, ever agen, becoz i dnt feel confident and am scared girls might think im a freak when they seee me...
A. 5 June 2006: Don't do it right now. First, because -- the majority of respondants have spoken! -- hair on guys is very masculine, and it's hot! You might just be ahead of your age-mates in developing body hair, so consider yourself groundbreaking.
Belie... (read in full...)
I have problems communicating my feelings to him and it's causing problems!
Q. Hi, my bf and i have been together for just over 2 years, im 20 and his 25 years old, the problem is that i have trouble communicating my feelings and emotions and often bottle up everything. This is causing problems in our relationship and ever...
A. 5 June 2006: Well, the first comment I have is that your boyfriend isn't really helping you to cope, with his badgering and his "get over it" attitude. If I were to speak to him, I'd be asking him to recognise that not everyone is as polished and perfect as he ... (read in full...)
Visit my dying uncle or take my English exams?
Q. Hi I have English exams on the 6th and 8th of June. I am really streesed about it because I found out yesterday that my uncle had 48 hours to live, so I guess that means 24 now. The problem is I want to see him before it's too late but he lives ...
A. 5 June 2006: You can re-take your exams, but if you want to see your uncle, this is really your only chance to do that, isn't it?
If you have a letter or can provide any sort of documentation that you're really-and-truly going to say goodbye to a dying re... (read in full...)
Is my love slipping away?
Q. hey!im having a problem with my boyfriend. the past few months hes been really odd with me and i get shouted at for doing almost nothing! on saturdays we normally spend the day together and go somewhere but today i got a text saying that he was ...
A. 4 June 2006: Let's recap:
He ditched you because his friend said he should.
He met another (female) friend instead.
The friend was rude to you in front of your BF.
Your BF didn't support or stand up for you.
He stood you up for your 6pm date.
You feel seco... (read in full...)
Help! Schoolgirl crush or real love?
Q. This is really complicated. There is a teacher at my school a teacher I really get on with, thing is I don't see him as a teacher I see him as a man or 'work colleague'. I am 15 but I am what they say an, 'old head on young shoulders' and I only r...
A. 4 June 2006: Bad Idea Alert!
Please don't. You describe yourself as having a "old head", but has that old head ever considered the cost to this guy's entire career if you - a minor - were to make a sexual move and he responds?
Ye gods. You'd be in the ... (read in full...)
Love from across the classroom
Q. please publish as i am desperate for an answer. two years ago a girl and i realy liked each other, each night we would text each other. after a while she aquired a new number but i never bothered to ask her for it. i dream about her a few times per ...
A. 4 June 2006: Sure, why wouldn't you?
The worst case scenario, is she isn't interested. And that puts you squarely where you are now, right?
On the other hand, if she gives you her new number, you're off on a new romantic adventure with a girl who seems t... (read in full...)
Does size matter?
Q. hey girls! i am scared my penis is too small to satisfy my girlfriend. do you think 5.75 inched is ok?...
A. 4 June 2006: Sigh... Here we go again!
Dear Anonymous Male:
I'd like to see the following words as a glowing neon sign on the Moon, for all men to see for all time:
"No. Size isn't important. Only men worry about penis size. Please get over it, an... (read in full...)
Finally told my BF I love him... and he just ignored it!
Q. Hi - My boyfriend and I have been dating for at least a year and I sent him a note telling him that finally I love him. He ignored me for 2 days. I sent him another note about it and he ignored me again for 2 days. I don't really care if he loves...
A. 4 June 2006: You don't say how old either of you is, and that could have a big part in his reaction.
You also don't indicate if he's ever said that he loves you, so if he hasn't, I'd suggest that he's probably scared and a little stunned by your notes.
... (read in full...)
He won't act like a boyfriend!
Q. Hi I'm only 12 and my boyfriend won't really act like a boyfriend and we've been dating for over a year. What do I do?...
A. 4 June 2006: Most boys your age aren't all that interested in being "a boyfriend". Twelve, thirteen... boys at that age are still mostly kids, and are too young to know or care much about your feelings. They don't "act like a boyfriend" because they don't know ... (read in full...)
I think I have feelings for my one night stand, should I tell him ?
Q. I am 22 and single, and very recently had a 1 night stand with a guy from work, only now I have to see him everyday and I think I might have feelings for him. Should I talk to him???...
A. 29 May 2006: Sure, go ahead and ask, if you think it could work.
But also consider that romances with workmates can be VERY difficult, too. If things don't work out, you still have to see him every day. This could be even if he turns out to dump you and/or s... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant even if the tests show a negative?
Q. Me and my partner have been trying for a baby for over 12 months. July last year I had a miscarriage, but since then I haven't managed to get caught pregnant. My period is now over 1 week late. I have done 3 pregnancy tests where they're all ...
A. 29 May 2006: Home pregnancy tests are pretty accurate these days, as I understand, but yes, they can be wrong.
If you want to be really sure, go see your doctor and get a proper test from him/her.
Remember too, though, that your menstrual cycles can be af... (read in full...)
Should my baby have my surname or his??....
Q. I'm pregnant and my babies father 4 years older than me and he wants the baby to have his last name......
A. 29 May 2006: I don't think there's any legal reason why you'd need it to be one or the other. Do what you think will work best for your child. As Jadzia has written, it's the accepted norm for kids to have their mother's last name, but if you choose to give your ... (read in full...)
Sex hurts and i just don't know what to do!
Q. At the beginning sex was very wonderful and passionate and i was very turned on. But i still feel those ways but it somewhat hurts. I feel myself being streched or he hits something and it hurts. What should i do. I stil think its wonderful, ...
A. 29 May 2006: You don't say how old you are, how long you've been having sex or whether anything has changed in the interim (a pregnancy, for example), so it's hard to advise you.
My first thought is that you might have fallen into a routine with your partner,... (read in full...)
Should I call first or should I wait for him?
Q. There is this guy and we have only just met but i like him but i don't know if he feels the same or what he wants. We have hung out a bit and i don't know if i should be waiting for him to call or message me? I want to message him, but i feel as ...
A. 29 May 2006: Give it one friendly contact, then wait to see how he responds. If it were me, I'd send one text, or make one call, or voice mail, saying how much I'd enjoyed talking to him before and letting him know that you'd be pleased to hear from him any ... (read in full...)
I fantasize about my girlfriend having sex with other men!
Q. Please help! I dont know whats wrong with me and Im really considering professional help for the sake of my relationship. I have been with my girlfriend for just over a year now and we both love each other INSANLY. I have had loads of girlfriends ...
A. 29 May 2006: It's a pretty normal (even ordinary) fantasy, actually, so you're not going nuts, if that's what you're worried about.
What it breaks down to is, that YOU find your partner attractive, and watching her have sex with someone else (in your fantasy)... (read in full...)
I slept with my mums boyfriend, Now im Pregnant! What do I do ?
Q. I made a big mistake of having sex with my mums ex boyfriend who is 35. I am only 16 and accepted the fact that i am pregnant with his child. But it is to late to get an abortion. What can i do? My mum will be devastated if she finds out. ...
A. 28 May 2006: You're not at fault here. Your mum's bf should firstly have NOT had sex with you, and secondly -- having decided to break every rule in the book -- should have been smart enough to use a condom.
You're the victim of a predator, and unless you tell... (read in full...)
Ladies... Briefs or boxers?
Q. DO girls prefer briefs of boxers???...
A. 28 May 2006: Boxers, yes yes yes. (Briefs are suitable only for little boys.)
... (read in full...)
I have a little, uncircumsized willie. Are girls going to care?
Q. I have an uncircumcised penis and it is realy small. Do girls care about the size? Any help please....
A. 28 May 2006: In a word, No.
Guys worry about the way their penises look *much* more than women do. In fact, most of us are just plain baffled as to why you put so much emphasis on such a small part of your bodies.
There's nothing wrong with being uncircumci... (read in full...)
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