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| | *ndie's Thoughts's profile:I'm Andie and I'm surviving life until I can really start to live it :)
Karma does happen:
My dad was a married woman's other guy for only a few weeks (about a decade before my mum met him), then realised he wasn't okay with helping her betray her husband. His friend became her other guy, husband came home while they were at it, the guy jumped out of the window and the husband knew, so grabbed a bicycle, chased him and punched him once, going 20mph, so it knocked him out. A couple of relationships later, after getting £15,000 in debt to help a woman leave her abusive husband and getting in a relationship with her, my dad came back from a holiday with his parents and found her with another guy. |
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O reply from potential date with friend do I block them
Q. Hi , i recently asked on here for advice about asking a friend on a date he said he would think about it and the advice was to let him have 3-4 days to get back to me . well its been 8 days he hasnt made any effort to contact me at all , i have ...
A. 13 July 2016: OP, how much did you like him? You're acting quite attached and in an unhealthy way. You don't need to tell him you're too good for him or continue to be hung up on him not replying.
Some counselling may be a good idea.... (read in full...)
I have a terrible Jealousy problem, with good reason. What can I do about all this ?
Q. I have a terrible jealousy problem . But this is not without reasons . My boyfriend of 4 months has a very close friend , you could say me and her were his two best girl friends before everything happened and we started our relationship as a cou...
A. 12 July 2016: Sorry, OP, but why are you pregnant after only 4 months?!
You're in a very irresponsible and vulnerable position now, so you need to get counselling and family support. If you're going to raise this baby too, you *have* to get counsell... (read in full...)
I thought I stonewalled my wife from saving up for breast surgery but she's raised money on a website!
Q. Angry at wife for finding her on a free breast implant website. How should I make her stop? I've been married to my wife for 10 years and we have two children together. Six months back, she said to me how unsatisfied she's been with how her bre...
A. 12 July 2016: I also think a deep conversation is needed where you truly listen to your wife. Saying no to paying for it is okay, but dismissing her feelings are not - as her husband, you should have listened and tried to understand why she feels she needs this, ... (read in full...)
O reply from potential date with friend do I block them
Q. Hi , i recently asked on here for advice about asking a friend on a date he said he would think about it and the advice was to let him have 3-4 days to get back to me . well its been 8 days he hasnt made any effort to contact me at all , i have ...
A. 12 July 2016: This would be an adolescent reaction, if I'm honest, OP. Rejecting someone, like being rejected, isn't easy for most people. Cindy is right that you're kicking up an unnecessary fuss and that's probably something he was trying to avoid, as well as ... (read in full...)
I thought I stonewalled my wife from saving up for breast surgery but she's raised money on a website!
Q. Angry at wife for finding her on a free breast implant website. How should I make her stop? I've been married to my wife for 10 years and we have two children together. Six months back, she said to me how unsatisfied she's been with how her bre...
A. 12 July 2016: I don't like the vanity of unnecessary plastic surgery, but it's her body and her choice. Honeypie is right that the answer you'll get is that you didn't pay for it, so she had to find another way.
Personally, I couldn't be with her after selling ... (read in full...)
Should I disown her for rejecting my name?
Q. This may be an inappropriate question for this site but I am furious with my daughter. She is 29 and she has recently announced that she plans to get a legal name change, and I am boiling mad. I have a mind to disown her. Even though her mom and I ...
A. 11 July 2016: "I sense that she resents me because I am unable to see her or be part of her life. The wife I have now is jealous and insecure of my relationship with her and has requested I do not see her. My daughter needs to be mature and understand that I have ... (read in full...)
Can't understand why she cheated with a homosexual?
Q. Hi. What does it mean when that my wife has cheated me with a gay guy, and prefers gay friends?...
A. 11 July 2016: Gay means attracted to the same gende. It doesn't mean they can't have sex with women anyway. However, why does his sexuality change that she cheated? It doesn't.... (read in full...)
How should I explain this strange relationship?
Q. Dear All Just wanted a quick question answered if you have the time! My husband years ago brought up his ex's son (husbands stepson) called Oliver. Oliver was/is a good kid but full of negativity and a bad attitude, but as I said, a kind ...
A. 11 July 2016: He's your husband's "son", so you explain it how it is. There's no need to lie or get worried about it. All kids can be negative and have an attitude - it happens; your child could turn out like that with or without Oliver's influence. Focus on ... (read in full...)
Have my feelings changed towards my married lover?
Q. I've been with my married lover for a few years. He has gone on vacation with his wife several times over the course of our affair, leaving me behind. I know it's an affair and nobody approves. But I am not here for that part of it. I am just tr...
A. 11 July 2016: You really do need to leave him. His wife is his priority and you'll waste even more of your life if you don't leave now. You're not important enough to him and you are just sex. This trip seems to be showing you that, so I suggest leaving ... (read in full...)
I have been in a relationship with a married man for 3 years. How do I walk away from him?
Q. I have been in a relationship with a married man for 3 years. We have known each other for 40 years. We were together 38 years ago went our own ways and ran into each other for lunch and the rest is history. We love each other very much but I can't ...
A. 11 July 2016: Remind yourself that: - if he truly loved you, he'd leave his wife for you, - if he respected you, he would value you enough to not let you be "the other woman", - you deserve to have someone who loves you properly, - you need a 6+ month... (read in full...)
What I did was dangerous, & I want to forget him but I also want to see him again.
Q. Hi. Okay so where should I start. Last year I met this guy online and after a few months we met up (publicly and locally of course). We...well after a little while I guess we got carried away and started making out etc (minus sex). I realised ...
A. 10 July 2016: It's a crush, it happens. You've hopefully learnt to slow things down, but I wouldn't go back to him because it's messy. It will fade over time, but you need to be patient. When you're dating at such a young age, keep it public, don't wander off... (read in full...)
Who and how do I ask what happened to my Mom and about my Mom? My Mom died 8 years ago.
Q. I will make this short as I can since I'm to upset and had to keep starting over. My mom died when I was 6 and I was always told she was real sad and sometimes people get too sad to live any more so they live with Jesus. I don't know why but I a...
A. 10 July 2016: Put the key back where you found it. It's possible that there's not many positives to say about your mum's life, so they don't want to give you more details. Losing someone to suicide is often taboo and, whilst it shouldn't be, it often means there ... (read in full...)
Does a guy being skinny put women off?
Q. I'm a skinny lad and I was wondering is this a turn-off? I mean I know some girls like guys to be teddy bears but is there really any market for us skinny guys? I'm 5'11"/180 cm and 143 pounds/64 kg and feel as though I'm not bulky enough for women ...
A. 10 July 2016: You need to focus on if you're healthy. My boyfriend was slim when we met and I wasn't worried about him not being able to "protect" me, more about me squishing him a little because I'm bigger than him. Now, he's got a little bit of a belly because ... (read in full...)
Confused, does he want a relationship or not?
Q. Hi I'm 15 years old and a girl. I have a "thing" with a guy who is also my age. I met him at the local fair and we hit it off really good fast. I'm super bad at texting so in the beginning he'd text me and sometimes I wouldn't respond. Not because I ...
A. 10 July 2016: He asked for oral after only hanging out three times?! He doesn't want to date you, OP; he wants sex and that's it. You shouldn't really have sex at your age anyway, but well done for being strong enough to say no :)
I really think you should l... (read in full...)
Am I going crazy? Should I embrace that he wanted that type of video from me?
Q. I'm 34 weeks pregnant. My baby's dad and I just got back together today.. We've been apart officially for only 3 weeks. In that time, he hung with an ex girlfriend, took her on a boat and beach, and to a theme park. They kissed but claimed he d...
A. 10 July 2016: To be honest, I don't think you should have anything more than a civil friendship with this guy, after what he did with leaving you and his baby, dating again within 3 weeks, then trying to get sexts and videos from you.
If you don't leave hi... (read in full...)
We fight, we flirt, we hug and kiss, does she want to date, or for me to leave her alone?
Q. So i work with someone thats been showing inconsistency in her behaviour, just wanted to know whats wrong or going on. So the story goes, we both annoy each other, ignore each other, hate each other, backstab each other. She deleted my phone number, ...
A. 10 July 2016: You're both acting like you're in primary school - just stop. Stop flirting and let her get moody. It's not that difficult, OP; you're making it worse for yourself.... (read in full...)
Eight weeks pregnant. Angry abusive father to be. I'm crying a lot. What can I do?
Q. Hi I feel completely lost and don't know what to do. I've been with my boyfriend for a year. We have been living together and I recently found out that I'm pregnant (I am 8 weeks gone) and have decided to keep the baby. Me and my boyfriend do...
A. 9 July 2016: You're in a very vulnerable position with a guy who has a poor track record of lack of commitment and "high" baby rates.
Don't wait for his therapy; it will take months for it to improve. He can still be a dad, but he is not safe for you to be ar... (read in full...)
He called me nasty names. No apology. We broke up. What should I do, in the circumstances?
Q. Hi there everybody I recently had the biggest argument with my now ex boyfriend. It all started because it took him 7 hours to reply to my text Anyway after 2 days of arguing over text he tells me I'm a heartless gutless liar. I did not e...
A. 9 July 2016: Looks like you did leave something out. He meant ugly as in mean.... (read in full...)
Eight weeks pregnant. Angry abusive father to be. I'm crying a lot. What can I do?
Q. Hi I feel completely lost and don't know what to do. I've been with my boyfriend for a year. We have been living together and I recently found out that I'm pregnant (I am 8 weeks gone) and have decided to keep the baby. Me and my boyfriend do...
A. 9 July 2016: You should look after yourself, not be looked after by a boyfriend, though I don't think you meant completely?
You need to leave. He can still be a dad, but having two children by two women should have shown you that you needed to be more careful ... (read in full...)
Why would a Bf not like his Gf to wear makeup?
Q. 15 year old girl. I met this guy and he's really awesome in all the right ways. When I met him I was all done up. He tells me not to wear makeup. He allows me to get my brows done and straighten my hair but I wore a little bit of makeup on a date (...
A. 9 July 2016: It's nice when a guy says "I prefer you without makeup", but he should *not* be able to "allow" or "disallow" you to do it.
This guy is being controlling, how old is he? Dump him.... (read in full...)
Am I going crazy? Should I embrace that he wanted that type of video from me?
Q. I'm 34 weeks pregnant. My baby's dad and I just got back together today.. We've been apart officially for only 3 weeks. In that time, he hung with an ex girlfriend, took her on a boat and beach, and to a theme park. They kissed but claimed he d...
A. 9 July 2016: You only just got back together and have pretended nothing happened, so no. Besides, this relationship doesn't seem very strong, so even pictures seem like a bad idea - do you get them from him too?
OP, I think you should refuse and both of you s... (read in full...)
He called me nasty names. No apology. We broke up. What should I do, in the circumstances?
Q. Hi there everybody I recently had the biggest argument with my now ex boyfriend. It all started because it took him 7 hours to reply to my text Anyway after 2 days of arguing over text he tells me I'm a heartless gutless liar. I did not e...
A. 9 July 2016: Why did it start because it took him 7 hours to reply to a text?
He'd hardly call you those names for no reason, so I think you've left some important information out, here. However, you should just let go and move on.... (read in full...)
How can I explain that I need some help with the housework, even though he works full time?
Q. The past 3 years I have been a homemaker. I've taken care of all household cleaning and food preparations for my husband. I'm now in the process of starting an online shop to sell my artwork. For the past few months I've been working on creating...
A. 9 July 2016: He's not very supportive and he's got a dodgy attitude. I don't like the man you portray - if this shop doesn't go as planned, find another one to get out of the house, at least part-time, and be independent of him. Honeypie gave great fo... (read in full...)
She's downgraded me from facebook. I thought we were friends not just co-workers. What to do?
Q. I'm friends with a female at work, we talk now and then at work but not a lot to each other as she's busy but we are friends on facebook though. When I didn't hear back from her in a while, I posted on her wall, haven't replied back to me, which wa...
A. 9 July 2016: What did you do to make her block you? OP, Facebook is very useful in someways, but completely unimportant in others - like this situation; what has gone on here is pointless and trivial. Her blocking you really isn't a big deal, but you're makin... (read in full...)
Should I insist on marriage before sex?
Q. Hello am 37 and dating a man of 60, I have never had a boyfriend or even kissed a man due to my fathers control of me for a long time. I am still a virgin. Recently I wanted to wait until marriage, but I wonder if I can find a man who can wait until ...
A. 9 July 2016: I agree with the anon that you should get counselling, OP - however seeing each other naked may be too much temptation/teasing.
Your father was too overprotective, for lack of a better word, and I'm worried you could make some very poor relation... (read in full...)
Going no contact isn’t easy, so how do I make sure I’m not swayed by his efforts?
Q. Since my original question regarding my narcissist, we have gotten back together and just recently I discarded him because I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. All of the motional turmoil hit me all at once and I vocalized myself to my ...
A. 9 July 2016: Delete and block him on everything and change your number with a very clear "please do not tell _____ ______; I do not want him knowing anything more about me" message to those you give it to, like RubyBirtle suggested. Take up a new hobby. Medit... (read in full...)
I have a terrible Jealousy problem, with good reason. What can I do about all this ?
Q. I have a terrible jealousy problem . But this is not without reasons . My boyfriend of 4 months has a very close friend , you could say me and her were his two best girl friends before everything happened and we started our relationship as a cou...
A. 9 July 2016: "so why not cheat on the cheating backstabbing manipulating a**hole" - because you lower them to your standards and disrespect the person you cheated on them with. That, and you have a 3 year old to influence - teach them the high road, not the ... (read in full...)
My husband’s sister seems to be in love with him!
Q. Is my sister in law in love with my husband? Long story short weve been married for 7-8 yrs now 2 beautiful kids..he has a younger sister theyre 9 yrs apart and every time shes around she does anything to get his attention.. she seems to be jealous ...
A. 8 July 2016: Wait! Never mind info; "he'll call me a bitch a wh*re" is enough - leave him.... (read in full...)
Should I insist on marriage before sex?
Q. Hello am 37 and dating a man of 60, I have never had a boyfriend or even kissed a man due to my fathers control of me for a long time. I am still a virgin. Recently I wanted to wait until marriage, but I wonder if I can find a man who can wait until ...
A. 8 July 2016: It's only 3 months in, of course there shouldn't be a proposal before at least 9. However, you should tell him now that you want to wait until marriage and he can decide if he wants to stay.... (read in full...)
I am cheating on my current boyfriend with my ex, how do I get out o this love triangle?
Q. I need advice and please bear with me and this long post! So my boyfriend (I'll call him Oliver) and I have been together for 5 months now and we're very happy together. He's sweet as can be and he treats me like a princess. My ex (I'll call him ...
A. 8 July 2016: You *can't* be friends with Chris until you're over him. Take at least 6 months of no contact and don't contact him until you don't care if you do or not. As for Oliver, you let him go. Whether you tell him or not, you leave him to find someone ... (read in full...)
Is a relationship possible with this age gap?
Q. Ive been seeing a guy for a while now and I am realy into him and he says he is realy into me. Im 17 and he is 29. He dosnt want to hold me back and has said I can back out at any time and that he dosnt want to be selfish. It is my first proper ...
A. 8 July 2016: Essentially, you're still a "child" and he's an adult. You're vulnerable and he's not. Your relationship wouldn't be equal because he's at a different life stage to you.
A decent 29 year old wouldn't see a 17 year old as relationship material... (read in full...)
I am involved with a married man and I'm worried he will take up with this other woman who works for him!
Q. No judgment please. I have been having an affair with my married Martial Arts instructor for 2 years now. We still have the most amazing sex and electric chemistry and the relationship is mostly sexual although we both care about each other. I...
A. 7 July 2016: "They STAY because of obligation, comfort, security, predictability, fear of taking chances, fear of the unknown" - yeah. Nobody said he loves his wife, just that he doesn't love, value or respect the OP enough to make her his only. If he really ... (read in full...)
Why am I attracting these type of girlfriends? What are the warning signs? How to avoid them? How to communicate?
Q. What is it with me and helicopter girlfriends? Why do I seem to attract them most? Why can't I let them go gently without it always ending with me making a new enemy and coming off as a douche at the end? Whenever I meet/date a girl who giv...
A. 7 July 2016: I have problems with my dad because he was emotionally abusive. That was his decision, not mine, so don't automatically judge a woman on how she gets on with her father. Some parents are crappy ones - it happens.
Make sure you're *daying* for a fe... (read in full...)
Guilty about dating best freind's brother
Q. I feel like I'm doing something wrong by seeing my best friend's brother behind her back, but I don't know what to do as I don't want to lose her friendship. I've known my best friend since we were 8, we do everything together, or did until last yea...
A. 7 July 2016: "behind her back" - there's your problem. You're not respecting her and you're not being much of a best friend by lying to her.
Come clean asap, or you really will lose her.... (read in full...)
What should I tell my ex'?
Q. My ex boyfriend got in touch. What should I do? He sent me a message on Facebook last night. I received it this morning. He asked how I was. I told him I was doing ok and that my flat is nice. Last time we spoke, which was last October, I had only ...
A. 7 July 2016: Firstly, you should never meet an ex in private.
Secondly, it's very rare for it to be a good idea to meet an ex.
I don't think you should. Say you appreciate his well-wishes, but that you're moving on with your life and you're leaving the past... (read in full...)
His new girlfirend 'hates' me
Q. What should I do if my old best friend who I had a massive crush on, now has a new girlfriend? Our 'breakup' was pretty messy and his girlfriend hates me as does all his friends and her friends. I try to be nice but that is me 'trying to be her ...
A. 7 July 2016: You're at an age where jealousy plays a massive part in drama. You're a threat because you had/have a massive crush on her boyfriend. It's all playground stuff, so I'd find new friends and let go of this stuff.... (read in full...)
My husband’s sister seems to be in love with him!
Q. Is my sister in law in love with my husband? Long story short weve been married for 7-8 yrs now 2 beautiful kids..he has a younger sister theyre 9 yrs apart and every time shes around she does anything to get his attention.. she seems to be jealous ...
A. 7 July 2016: Yes, more info please.... (read in full...)
She's downgraded me from facebook. I thought we were friends not just co-workers. What to do?
Q. I'm friends with a female at work, we talk now and then at work but not a lot to each other as she's busy but we are friends on facebook though. When I didn't hear back from her in a while, I posted on her wall, haven't replied back to me, which wa...
A. 7 July 2016: Just give her a break for a month.... (read in full...)
She's downgraded me from facebook. I thought we were friends not just co-workers. What to do?
Q. I'm friends with a female at work, we talk now and then at work but not a lot to each other as she's busy but we are friends on facebook though. When I didn't hear back from her in a while, I posted on her wall, haven't replied back to me, which wa...
A. 7 July 2016: Why were you desperate for her to reply?... (read in full...)
We fight, we flirt, we hug and kiss, does she want to date, or for me to leave her alone?
Q. So i work with someone thats been showing inconsistency in her behaviour, just wanted to know whats wrong or going on. So the story goes, we both annoy each other, ignore each other, hate each other, backstab each other. She deleted my phone number, ...
A. 7 July 2016: OP, you have to either ask her out or stop flirting because it became awkward to work with her when you both started this playground relationship. This is why you don't do this stuff with co-workers; it always ends messy.
She likes you enough t... (read in full...)
I am involved with a married man and I'm worried he will take up with this other woman who works for him!
Q. No judgment please. I have been having an affair with my married Martial Arts instructor for 2 years now. We still have the most amazing sex and electric chemistry and the relationship is mostly sexual although we both care about each other. I...
A. 7 July 2016: A long term relationship is between people who are exclusive - you are not. Commitment is between people who are exclusive - you are not. He broke up with you 6 times, but hasn't left his wife - that's not commitment. He says you deser... (read in full...)
Should I give in to demands for anal?
Q. Dear Cupid, my boyfriend has been bringing up sex up the butt. I feel like I don't please him enough because he keeps trying to convince me about this, but I'm clearly offended that I'm not enough. Am I over reacting and taking it personally, or ...
A. 7 July 2016: It doesn't mean you're not enough, but he is pressuring you and that's not okay. Until you're 100% sure you want to do it *for you*(!), don't do it and tell him to stop bringing it up. You never have to want it, you never have to do it and, if he ... (read in full...)
Now separated and some of the men I meet are a disappointment. Why are they so blunt about asking for sex when they don't know me?
Q. I was married for 20 years and now dating again as I separated from my husband. Nothing tragic, just grew apart though still friends and civil with each other. One daughter, away in college who is really cool with the situation . Men I meet: ...
A. 6 July 2016: Please report *any* taxi driver who does that; it's unprofessional and makes you feel unsafe. They're not suitable to drive vulnerable (like drunk/young) people around if they'll happily proposition you because they could easily take advantage! ... (read in full...)
I am involved with a married man and I'm worried he will take up with this other woman who works for him!
Q. No judgment please. I have been having an affair with my married Martial Arts instructor for 2 years now. We still have the most amazing sex and electric chemistry and the relationship is mostly sexual although we both care about each other. I...
A. 6 July 2016: Nobody is saying the OP isn't special or not attractive; they are saying she is not special enough to him for loyalty (he can never truly give loyalty until he leaves his wife) and she shouldn't make such a big deal out of others' "unattractiveness" ... (read in full...)
I am involved with a married man and I'm worried he will take up with this other woman who works for him!
Q. No judgment please. I have been having an affair with my married Martial Arts instructor for 2 years now. We still have the most amazing sex and electric chemistry and the relationship is mostly sexual although we both care about each other. I...
A. 5 July 2016: You can't ask not to be judged, when you're doing something like this - just like you can't ask not to go to prison for doing something criminal for 2 years. You have to accept it because it comes with the territory. He can't trust you becaus... (read in full...)
We fight, we flirt, we hug and kiss, does she want to date, or for me to leave her alone?
Q. So i work with someone thats been showing inconsistency in her behaviour, just wanted to know whats wrong or going on. So the story goes, we both annoy each other, ignore each other, hate each other, backstab each other. She deleted my phone number, ...
A. 3 July 2016: It's very inappropriate and unprofessional, so I think you should either ask her out or ignore the playground behaviour. Give it a go :)... (read in full...)
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