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| | *ndie's Thoughts's profile:I'm Andie and I'm surviving life until I can really start to live it :)
Karma does happen:
My dad was a married woman's other guy for only a few weeks (about a decade before my mum met him), then realised he wasn't okay with helping her betray her husband. His friend became her other guy, husband came home while they were at it, the guy jumped out of the window and the husband knew, so grabbed a bicycle, chased him and punched him once, going 20mph, so it knocked him out. A couple of relationships later, after getting £15,000 in debt to help a woman leave her abusive husband and getting in a relationship with her, my dad came back from a holiday with his parents and found her with another guy. |
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I can't fall in love again..why?
Q. Since coming out of a two year long toxic relationship way back in February, I've been finding it really difficult to fall in love with anyone else. I really loved the guy I was with and still believe I feel something for him as he was my first love ...
A. 15 September 2016: Stop trying to fall in love so quickly. You're young and you're out of a difficult relationship this year - it's not easy to let go. Slow down and don't rebound by trying to replace it. Find something new, not the same.... (read in full...)
Feel our sex is flat
Q. I'm with my girlfriend for 2 months now but i find sex ordinary. I have heard many guys expressing how "the sex is amazing", but i don't get that i just find it pretty ordinary What makes sex "mind blowing" for both males and females generall...
A. 15 September 2016: Not everyone enjoys sex. To some people, it's not a big excitement.
Don't rely on porn at all. Experiment and ask what feels good, then tell her what feels good. You have to communicate properly.... (read in full...)
What are some tips to keeping a LDR positive and satisfying, considering that he will be moving to a remote area without reliable wi-fi?
Q. My boyfriend and I are going to be long distance for the next couple of months. We will both be in farely remote areas without regular wifi. A lot of tips I've read are based around the fact that you can message or call that person at all hours. H...
A. 15 September 2016: Write letters. Seriously - write one or two a week. Hopefully he'll write back and they're nice to keep, if you stay together until old age :)... (read in full...)
How can I explain to my friends that she's a great girl, despite what I said earlier?
Q. When I was 9 years old I moved to a new town and my neighbour kissed me on the cheek and said that I was her boyfriend and she has pretty much been my life since then. We dated for as long as I can remember, she was my first kiss, first girl I t...
A. 12 September 2016: To be honest, OP, love isn't enough. You've cheated, she dated someone you hated for revenge. It's toxic. Things aren't any different, by the sounds of it. Just be friends and explain to your friends that you were angry and said things you shouldn't ... (read in full...)
I trust my boyfriend but I'm also afraid of being hurt
Q. My fiance is a personal trainer and he is crushing on one of his clients. As it is a professional relationship, I don't think anything would happen. However, we met that way initially and I'm so jealous... I work in the same building - on a ...
A. 12 September 2016: I don't think you should break up with him, but I don't think you're ready for marriage. You need to get therapy to deal with this or your marriage will be miserable and he could leave you.
Did he tell you he has a crush on her? Do you actively... (read in full...)
How can I better control my emotions when I'm hurt during tae kwon do tournaments?
Q. Hi, i need help with stopping myself from crying when i get hurt. I was doing a taekwando tournament, i am a white belt and the person i was sparring with was a black tag. She battered me and punhed me in the face and head till i fell to the floor. ...
A. 12 September 2016: That's not anger, that's pain. I did taekwondo for two years and tournaments hurt - crying isn't shameful, but you have to push through it, if you're committed to it. That said, a black tag shouldn't fight a white belt. If they do, they should not ... (read in full...)
When does an age gap become too big?
Q. How big do you think age gaps in relationships should be? In all kinds of relationships: friendships, romantic relationships, sex buddies. Do generational differences get in the way? When does an age gap become too much to relate to someone in ...
A. 12 September 2016: I don't think gender does, other than general preferences.
Anyway, I don't think 15 years matters after 30, but before that, the difference is too big, in my opinion. Also, a 31 year old shouldn't see a teen as dateable. If they do, that's a... (read in full...)
What does it mean? I'm 18 and don't want to date anymore. Haven't felt a connection with last 4 people I dated
Q. Well the last few days I have been thinking and I realize I don't want to date anymore... It's crazy because everything in my life feels like it's slowing down. I know what a guy wants in a relationship and what I want, but never have I not wante...
A. 11 September 2016: Don't date people you don't have a connection with. Rebounding is always a bad idea, so it's good that you're getting out of the habit.
Take a break from dating and focus on everything else.... (read in full...)
Should 13 year olds date 16 year olds?
Q. I'm a 13 year old female and I'm dating a 16 year old guy.. I think I'm in love but I don't know if that's wrong. I mean my friends say that we are cute and my parents say that it's wrong because of the age difference. All I wanna know is if it's ...
A. 10 September 2016: A 16 year old young man should not see a 13 year old girl as dateable. That's nothing against you, but he should be dating girls his own age because there's a big difference between 13 and 16.
I know you feel love for him (it's not in love; yo... (read in full...)
Is it possible that my therapist may like me a bit too much?
Q. I haven't had a session with my therapist for a while. I met him again recently and he was acting differently to me (I've known him for a while). His eye contact felt like he was staring at me and he was constantly smiling at me. We also joked ...
A. 9 September 2016: I think this may be you overthinking. However, you're likely to be in therapy on the NHS and you need to request someone else because you feel uncomfortable with him.... (read in full...)
I still like my ex but don't know if he feels the same
Q. Basically, I like my ex, but he likes someone else, who doesn't like him. And he always says that you'll always feel something for your ex's. But the thing is, me and him have dated a few times, and when we aren't talking I always want to talk to ...
A. 9 September 2016: When ready for dating, you have to be prepared to let go when you need to. Now is that time. Stop talking to him completely; it hasn't worked out and won't now either. Sorry, OP.... (read in full...)
What can I do to make myself feel a little more comfortable and less nervous?
Q. Hey Everyone, I am taking part in the School Show and for my part I have to kiss someone. I don't mind but I have never kissed a boy before so I am really nervous. What can I do to make myself feel a little more comfortable and less nervous?...
A. 9 September 2016: Just breathe. Talk to your teacher about if the kiss is necessary or if it can be faked. Also ask if the kiss will be done in rehearsals - it should only be a peck, not a proper kiss :)... (read in full...)
What if my body turns him off? Should I wait until I’m more comfortable with my own body?
Q. So I like this guy so much, he's very handsome and has asked me out on a date. I really enjoy being with him and things are advancing and all but i am really self aware of my shape, i have always struggled with my body , i am 5'1' and i weigh ...
A. 8 September 2016: I have body dysmorphia - which is a mental illness that makes my brain believe my "flaws" are worse and more noticeable than they are to others. It's a crippling daily thing and I never trusted anyone with my body (I'm overweight because of PCOS and ... (read in full...)
Should I say anything to my best friend about her new relationship?
Q. Just wondering what people's thoughts are on this. My best friend has been single almost constantly for 10 years and obviously at times this has got her really down and I've often had to pick up the pieces. She saw a guy briefly for about three ...
A. 8 September 2016: The reality may have hit her that, whilst it's not impossible, it will be harder to get pregnant once, let alone more than once, so a guy with kids may not be a deal breaker any more. She may still want her own, but she may not need it to be with a ... (read in full...)
Want to treat him to something special. But what? I'm a struggling student and he wouldn't want extravagance
Q. Hey, right I met my bf online and we have been together 2 and a half years. We have a nine year age gap but it does not bother me as he is simply amazing. We live 2 hours and a bit away from each other however I have moved back to uni so we're ...
A. 8 September 2016: If it's not a special occasion, I think you should plan a date he'd like. Either something romantic or a day trip, etc.... (read in full...)
At 21, should I try online dating or not?
Q. So I am 21 years old and in college. My parents expect me to have a partner and possibly get married after college (although, they do not want me to do online dating but they cannot stop me as a 21 year old girl). Friends of my family and some ...
A. 8 September 2016: Take it slow. Don't let your hormones run away with you when you do get a date and start "falling in love" at the get go. You'll only get hurt and end up with the wrong people.
Focus on getting to know people. I'd venture a guess that most lon... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doing masters degree but I'm leaving for a job 8 hours away!
Q. Hi there! I've got a wonderful job in London which I'm very excited about, but my boyfriend of 3 years has decided to do a masters degree for another year at the university we were both at (a good 8 hour train journey from London). I ob...
A. 8 September 2016: I'm in an LDR and they're not easy. However, video chatting helps, regular phone calls are good, planning visits is nice, etc.
They're very hard, but they can be successful - especially when you know it's just for a year.... (read in full...)
Do I tell some white lies? Or compromise and invite my Bf to visit me and meet my Dad?
Q. Hello! a few basic info first: I'm currently a 19 y/o college student and living with my dad and brother. I'm unemployed as for now but I'm also thinking about getting a part-time job somewhere. I have a boyfriend who's 27 y/o currently and he's got ...
A. 7 September 2016: He needs to come to you and your family (*never* you alone!) or you cut all contact because he's definitely grooming you.
Also, army members don't spend 8 years solid deployment. I wouldn't trust him.... (read in full...)
He has no answer... can someone help me out here with advice? Why can't he last longer?
Q. At the beginning (11 years ago) we lasted quite long... my husband (7 years) now cums so fast... or his urge to let it go happens as soon as I do anything to him, from stroking it, BJ and as soon as he enters me he can't hold out. But with his ex's...
A. 7 September 2016: Can we check the timeline? You're 26 - 29 and you've been together since you were 15 - 18 and you know he lasted longer with exes he had at such a young age?
Maybe he needs to see a doctor. Maybe he needs to keep the focus on you after he's fin... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my husband go down on me?
Q. Hello everyone! Thank you for your time reading this. I have a simple, yet extremely embarrassing question. I'm a "happily" married woman with two girls and 4 months pregnant. We live a moderate life,go to church and spend time with ou...
A. 7 September 2016: Asking would be the best way to handle it - though bear in mind that some people just aren't keen on it, like some don't like the rear end being involved, etc.... (read in full...)
Has my teacher got a thing for me?
Q. Let's call him Mr. Jones. Well, Jones started teaching at my school when I was a freshman. (I'm 16, he is 23) I am now a junior and this is my first year taking his class. Every girl thinks he is gorgeous, which he is, and I would notice him always ...
A. 6 September 2016: OP, you're not extremely mature for your age. There's a limit to how much you've experienced and experience brings maturity. I know that sounds dismissive, but looking at/talking about a teacher's erection isn't mature. Wondering if he's touching ... (read in full...)
Are we still friends or is it over?
Q. I am friends with a female at work. we have fallen out a couple of times but have always made up. last week i sent her flowers at work in the hope of she would put me back on facebook as one of friends but it back fired on me and things seem to ...
A. 6 September 2016: You didn't go into work because you didn't want to face her, OP. You need to be honest with yourself and read through the responses on the other posts you've submitted because you're hung up on being this lady's friend, but you went too far and ... (read in full...)
Do I tell some white lies? Or compromise and invite my Bf to visit me and meet my Dad?
Q. Hello! a few basic info first: I'm currently a 19 y/o college student and living with my dad and brother. I'm unemployed as for now but I'm also thinking about getting a part-time job somewhere. I have a boyfriend who's 27 y/o currently and he's got ...
A. 6 September 2016: As you are younger, he should visit you - safety first. However, while I am all for LDRs, I don't think this will work out because, if everything he's told you is true, only meeting once before becoming an army LDR for 8 years will be too much... (read in full...)
My fiance risked our relationship for one night of fun
Q. I am engaged to be married on the 24th. Last weekend my bf had his bachelor party weekend in New York . I couple of his buddies were egging him on to hook up with a random girl. They ended up inviting a group of girls back to their hotel were he ...
A. 6 September 2016: Stop. You can't marry someone you don't trust, regardless of how expensive or embarrassing cancelling would be.
It will be incredibly expensive if you need a divorce down the road because you realised after the wedding that the trust is gone and... (read in full...)
Is it superficial to place importance on someone's physical appearance in a relationship ?
Q. If I place a lot of emphasis on how someone looks in terms of partner potential, does that make me superficial? How about if I'm unable to perform sexually unless I find someone very sexually attractive. Often things like having a belly or unhandso...
A. 6 September 2016: Looks are of varying important a to each individual. Attraction (physical, sexual, sensual, romantic, etc.) is all important - it just depends on everyone to decide how important they are to them.
Relationships tend to last longer when you're a... (read in full...)
Was it just an excuse? Or am I being selfish thinking 15 minutes away was not far?
Q. I have been dating a new guy recently and I have no car, so he usually has to pick me up and take me home. He ended things because I was too far away, despite only being 15 minutes away. Am I selfish for thinking I'm not that far?...
A. 6 September 2016: You're not too far.... *but* you should use buses or taxis, not rely on him to use petrol on you repeatedly.... (read in full...)
Is it possible to change who who we are?
Q. My friend has a theory that people never change, he says he thinks that people have this illusion that they change but actually your core stays the exact same. Another thinks people can make small changes in who they are. I believe someone can chan...
A. 5 September 2016: Then you don't agree. Some people have experiences that show "nobody" can change. Others have experiences that "everyone" can change. I believe there are limits, but people can make different choices that lead to a change, but that doesn't always ... (read in full...)
My fiance risked our relationship for one night of fun
Q. I am engaged to be married on the 24th. Last weekend my bf had his bachelor party weekend in New York . I couple of his buddies were egging him on to hook up with a random girl. They ended up inviting a group of girls back to their hotel were he ...
A. 5 September 2016: Due to his actions afterwards, telling her to leave, coming home early, confessing all immediately, I'd probably try to forgive him. That said, I wouldn't be able to marry him so soon after - I'd need months to figure out if I could trust him again. ... (read in full...)
How do I seduce my female college professor?
Q. I honestly think this is fate. I'm a college freshman, I was dreading my 4hr class with a professor I heard was tough and moody. I get to class and it's this young beautiful short girl with big curly hair. I immediately raise my hand and tell her ...
A. 4 September 2016: You leave it be, as she's your teacher.
Fantasise all you want, but don't talk about it to anyone, don't make a move and don't let it affect you in classes. Let it fade like a regular crush, as that's what it is.... (read in full...)
Pregnancy dilemma
Q. Okay let's see so I dated this guy for about 6 months and we broke up 3 weeks ago due to the fact that he didn't trust me and always thought I was cheating on him and it just put a huge strain on our relationship so we ended it. Two days ago I went ...
A. 3 September 2016: Is abortion something you're considering? If not, you need to. This baby could very well be born. Are you ready, emotionally and financially, to be a single mum?
If you choose to go ahead with the pregnancy, then you need to tell him. If the baby... (read in full...)
Has my teacher got a thing for me?
Q. Let's call him Mr. Jones. Well, Jones started teaching at my school when I was a freshman. (I'm 16, he is 23) I am now a junior and this is my first year taking his class. Every girl thinks he is gorgeous, which he is, and I would notice him always ...
A. 3 September 2016: He's an immature teacher. You're off-limits and so is he. Talking about students' rear ends *is* bad for him to do. It's unprofessional and he's probably be fired if the employer found out.
This is a crush for you and a creepy playground of teena... (read in full...)
I can't work out his sexuality
Q. Hello. I am curious or rather confused about my friend's sexuality. I don't know whether he is gay or bisexual. When he is around me, he acts very masculine and straight. I catch him staring at women when we hang out. I am 25, he is 32 and married ...
A. 2 September 2016: Also, not all gay men are "camp" and not all "camp" men are gay.... (read in full...)
I can't work out his sexuality
Q. Hello. I am curious or rather confused about my friend's sexuality. I don't know whether he is gay or bisexual. When he is around me, he acts very masculine and straight. I catch him staring at women when we hang out. I am 25, he is 32 and married ...
A. 2 September 2016: Honestly, it's as irrelevant as his eye colour - it's only important to know in certain situations and this isn't one of them.
Curiosity is fine, but he's married to a man and his sexuality isn't important, unless he becomes single again. Gay men ... (read in full...)
I think I've fallen for my FWB, but I'm afraid that telling him will shut down our arrangement. What do I do?
Q. I think I'm falling for my FWB.. At first this seemed like an ideal situation and we both approached the topic as adults. We listed our rules and expectations. He lives 45 min away (by car) and we see each other on weekends when he has time off and ...
A. 1 September 2016: You need to tell him; once feelings are involved, the FWB either needs to stop or become a relationship - carrying on only gets people hurt.... (read in full...)
Now he wants to now "start over and fresh"? what's happening?
Q. So I asked almost the same question before, but some things have changed and I don't know what to do. Im a freshman in high school and there is this guy who is a sophomore. When i was in middle school and he was a freshman, we dated 2 times fo...
A. 1 September 2016: What could he want to change? What happened last time?
What does he want to start fresh with if he didn't say he likes you?... (read in full...)
Why do I keep attracting married men instead of available single men?
Q. Dear cupid I have been single for some years now but the only men that seem to be attracted to me is married men. Why is this happening to me? Do I have some type of vibe that they figure I date married men? I just don't understand this.I been a...
A. 30 August 2016: You need to put boundaries in place. Tell him when he makes you uncomfortable. Don't flirt at all and don't let yourself melt when he says your name. Do speed dating, singles' holiday(s), etc. The second you find out someone is taken, move ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has an adultfriendfinder account?
Q. A while ago I caught my long term boyfriend on a transgender dating website, messaging and making plans to meet up with transgender women and men. He was also responding to Craigslist ads and sending them pictures of his private parts. His profile ...
A. 29 August 2016: Transgender people are just people. They are not a fetish. If he views them as such, he's reducing them to their bodies, not the people they are.
Anyway, I think that your gut is telling you that you can't trust him and if you can't get past tha... (read in full...)
Should I be trusting my Girlfriend? Any guidance on what to do?
Q. I'm coming up to my third anniversary with my girlfriend but recently I feel uncertain as to whether I truly trust her and I don't particularly know how to approach the subject. I hadn't really questioned my trust in her until a recent excha...
A. 27 August 2016: I'd like to add that apologising is important, so if she doesn't apologise for it, then she may have done it deliberately. Otherwise she could have been hurt in a prior relationship or life in general and just not known how to trust someone new. ... (read in full...)
Should I be trusting my Girlfriend? Any guidance on what to do?
Q. I'm coming up to my third anniversary with my girlfriend but recently I feel uncertain as to whether I truly trust her and I don't particularly know how to approach the subject. I hadn't really questioned my trust in her until a recent excha...
A. 27 August 2016: I did similar things at the beginning of my relationship and it's because I was so used to not being interesting enough for anyone to be my friend, let alone these feelings I didn't know how to deal with. If my boyfriend asked me now, I'd be scared ... (read in full...)
Nice girl/ compliments/ kinda hard to understand/ help?
Q. Hey everybody! How is it going? I need your guys help on this thing, I've never had a longboard relationship, but i blame it on me, I never had patience to put up with relationship issues and never looked for it. Although, I also never had proble...
A. 27 August 2016: You need to give up; she's not interested.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has a very flirty female friend but I want to be the only one that he shares inside jokes with and treats like a buddy... Like he does with her
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. He is 23 and I am 24 and we are just finishing up our undergraduate degrees, and we do not live together. I moved to a new city about 3 years ago, and he just moved here about a year ago. Of course w...
A. 27 August 2016: Would you feel the same way if she was male? If not, I think you should try not to feel threatened.
Don't get me wrong, I know it can be uncomfortable to feel like there's another (non-family) woman they're close to, but some people are just fli... (read in full...)
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