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| | *ndie's Thoughts's profile:I'm Andie and I'm surviving life until I can really start to live it :)
Karma does happen:
My dad was a married woman's other guy for only a few weeks (about a decade before my mum met him), then realised he wasn't okay with helping her betray her husband. His friend became her other guy, husband came home while they were at it, the guy jumped out of the window and the husband knew, so grabbed a bicycle, chased him and punched him once, going 20mph, so it knocked him out. A couple of relationships later, after getting £15,000 in debt to help a woman leave her abusive husband and getting in a relationship with her, my dad came back from a holiday with his parents and found her with another guy. |
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I told my chick friend who has kids that I won’t date women who have kids and she seems to have taken offense?
Q. A couple of months ago I moved to a bigger city along with my chick friend who has kids. We don't live together but since we don't know anybody in this town we occasionally hang out. We are both really close since we went through a big ordeal in our ...
A. 26 September 2016: I did wonder if maybe she has feelings for you, but I was assuming there was a different reason you both moved....?... (read in full...)
Partner no longer enjoys lovemaking and it is becoming a dealbreaker
Q. Hey all, I've been with my partner for 2 and a half years now and for the first while our sex life was crazy good. We were both on exactly the same page with the things we were into and the high sex drive we both had. One day it was really sore for...
A. 26 September 2016: Affection should still be there. If doctors aren't sure why sex is medically hard for her and attempting it makes her feel crap, I can totally understand, but there are easy to be intimate without sex - massages, kisses, cuddles, dates, foreplay ... (read in full...)
I told my chick friend who has kids that I won’t date women who have kids and she seems to have taken offense?
Q. A couple of months ago I moved to a bigger city along with my chick friend who has kids. We don't live together but since we don't know anybody in this town we occasionally hang out. We are both really close since we went through a big ordeal in our ...
A. 26 September 2016: I don't think you need to apologise for your preference, but maybe the insensitivity. As has been said above, being short or broke isn't the same as having kids, so it can be a more sensitive thing to talk about, in terms of turning someone down ... (read in full...)
Am I crazy for allowing my husband to sleep with other men and women?
Q. My husband and I have been together off and on for 25 years and been married 13. He has cheated on me a lot in the past and I've forgiven him, he promised it would never happen again unless he talked to me about it. He works in another state, h...
A. 25 September 2016: I wonder if the woman knew/consented to being recorded and paraded around to everyone?!
You can have a faithful man, you know. You're just giving him permission to cheat.
Please strongly consider getting a divorce - you deserve better.... (read in full...)
I've been catfishing my ex for 8 months to discover out what kind of father he would be to the child he doesn't know he has with me
Q. I have been catfishing my ex for the last 8 months. I originally did it for information because after he moved away, I discovered i was pregnant. I couldn't reach him for 2 years and when I came across him I was scared so I made up a Facebook ...
A. 25 September 2016: It's ironic that you're catfishing him to find out what type of parent he'd be, but it's saying more about you.
Ditch the Isabella stuff now. Delete everything to do with her and contact him as you, explaining that he's a father. It's that sim... (read in full...)
I want to ask my boyfriend's mom if I could go with them see b/f but am afraid of her reaction
Q. Ive been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half now. He recently went off to college and we have been doing long distances since. His mom is the type of mom who is really protective. It seems as though she is jealous of me and worried that her ...
A. 25 September 2016: The third option is the best one, though:
- go alone/he visits you.... (read in full...)
I want to ask my boyfriend's mom if I could go with them see b/f but am afraid of her reaction
Q. Ive been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half now. He recently went off to college and we have been doing long distances since. His mom is the type of mom who is really protective. It seems as though she is jealous of me and worried that her ...
A. 25 September 2016: I think it's worth asking, but try not to take it personally that they do want family time, like you'd probably want couple time, because they miss him too. Are you unable to travel there yourself? Most LDRs have to find their own way to each othe... (read in full...)
I'm now feeling guilty about a one night stand. How do I get over the guilt?
Q. Hi all, I am about to turn 35 in a couple of weeks and 2 weeks ago I had my first one night stand. Before this I had not had sex for 3.5 years- mainly as I was busy and really focused on work but also because I needed a break from men after a string...
A. 25 September 2016: I'd probably feel the same. I can't even get aroused if it's not my boyfriend - even when we make love, my body seems to just feel numb to anything that's not him. Toys and porn are useless to me. Maybe you're similar, in the sense that the more ... (read in full...)
Is it me? My Gf of 4 years just doesn't make any effort. Leaving me seriously unsatisfied
Q. I am really frustrated in my relationship. My girlfriend of 4 years I feel doesn't make effort. Or maybe it's me? We used to have a lot of sex, nearly daily. As routines changed this has reduced which is normal. Now in a week it's once and if I wak...
A. 24 September 2016: She doesn't owe you sex when she's not in the mood, OP. You wake up with it, you handle it. Consent is important and she doesn't wake up in the mood, so she doesn't want to consent.
Not only that, but "typical girl just starts moaning and complain... (read in full...)
Am I mad for wanting to be with a guy that much older than me?
Q. Hi. So as you pretty much know I'm 17. I've always had the problem of falling for older guys that I obviously can't have because of the age difference. I guess it's because I'm quite mature for my age, as I've also been told, so I'm rarely attracte...
A. 22 September 2016: You're not wrong for liking the idea, but a gap that big when you're still so young (I'd say the same if you were already 18) means you're not at the same life stage. I mean, even when you're 22, for example, he'll still be 28 and it's a big gap ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid if I get too close to this lovely man that I might cheat on my boyfriend
Q. I met a guy yesterday and he bought me lunch. I like him I find him attractive and I think he feels the same about me. We agreed yesterday that we will meet again today at some volunteering project but when he arrived I only greeted him and stayed ...
A. 22 September 2016: I'm in an LDR, so I know the feelings of loneliness and the affection cravings, but you can't allow yourself to get close to someone else that you're attracted to. You feelings drawing you to this man are likely to be transferring from your distance ... (read in full...)
What do I do? I love him, but I don't feel loved in return
Q. Hi I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now he had a bad childhood which has affected his adult life the problem is he doesn't know how to show love or deal with normal things in a relationship. He is nearly 30 yr old but acts like a teenager...
A. 21 September 2016: My boyfriend has abuse in his past. He met me, falling deeply in love, but didn't know how to show it or understand receiving love. We've been together nearly a year and a half and he still struggles with intimacy because certain closeness feelings ... (read in full...)
Help! Calling all people with nipple piercings. What are outcomes to consider if I get this done?
Q. hey everyone! i am thinking of getting my nipples pierced, just wondered if anyone had any experience of this? I like how it looks a lot but as always there's some real horror stories on the internet (picture of holes in boobs after getting an...
A. 21 September 2016: You need to ask a professional - if you can't, you're not ready for this. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but that's really what you need to do. The rest are opinions.
They can make them less sensitive, I think, though sexual things can still be done.... (read in full...)
I want my sister back in my life but how?
Q. I (18,M) was playing basketball with my sister's (28,F) boyfriend CJ (25,M) a few days ago, and I was really starting to get frustrated because he's like 6 foot 4 and I'm 5 foot 4 so it was a blowout. He was talking a lot of trash and tried ...
A. 21 September 2016: It's only been a few days, so she probably sees it as you being an irritating, immature "little" brother who did it on purpose. She probably will get over it, but don't grovel to her - give her time and space. No more calling or texting for a while.... (read in full...)
How does this plan look to you?
Q. So I have posted about a guy I met online. I managed to find cheap plane tickets to visit him, so I am going there in a little bit. We have been messaging for over a month and skyping/texting for over 2 weeks. I really like him and I just want to ...
A. 20 September 2016: If I were you, I really would stop all contact after your visit (don't go any further than kissing!) and see how often he will string up a conversation. Don't even mention him visiting you until you see how often he bothers to start the ... (read in full...)
How does this plan look to you?
Q. So I have posted about a guy I met online. I managed to find cheap plane tickets to visit him, so I am going there in a little bit. We have been messaging for over a month and skyping/texting for over 2 weeks. I really like him and I just want to ...
A. 20 September 2016: Not to be a downer; I do hope this works out well, but lots of people still talk to others a lot, even if their interest is limited. That's something that happens regularly online because it's not something you have to deal with in real life every ... (read in full...)
Would the average guy spend 1.5 hours in a store or was he lying?
Q. Is it possible for a guy - your boyfriend - to be in a store for 1.5 hours??? The same store??? He was out for awhile and I asked him about it and he said he was at an auto parts store for that long. He said he was browsing. That there were lots ...
A. 20 September 2016: I think you calling up a store to get witnesses is weird, not that nobody saw one man with a basic description.
Maybe he's cheating on you, maybe he's not, but lots of people (men and women) can spend 1 - 2 hours in a big shop that has things t... (read in full...)
Anyone have co-parenting experience?
Q. Does anyone here have any experience with co-parenting, or having a baby with someone you aren't in a relationship with? Maybe you broke up before/right after the baby was born, or maybe it was a fling or friends with benefits that ended up in...
A. 20 September 2016: I think you should never have sex with a person you wouldn't want to be the other bio parent of your child. You don't necessarily have to love them, if you're FWB taking precautions, but you have to be prepared for the potential consequences and ... (read in full...)
I need a way to get him to meet my desires
Q. My boyfriend and I are busy people. He works 6 days out of the week,8 hours per day. I'm in school part time and works 40 hours a week. Therefore, when we are together, I want to cuddle and have sex. He just enjoys my company. I talked to him about ...
A. 19 September 2016: You need to find a balance between cuddling/sex and actually spending time together without sex. It's a good thing to have a partner who isn't always after sex when you're together.
You need to tell him what you need, but you also need to ask him ... (read in full...)
Crush has grown into an obsession and I need to get over him
Q. Hey, I'm 13 and currently at high school I started to like a kid a at school called Oliver and then I just thought that I was just a crush bit that was 2 and a bit years ago and I've grown obsessed I think about him all the time sometimes when I'm ...
A. 19 September 2016: What you're describing is a typical teenage crush and typical teenage "dating" drama. Stay out of the drama and just tell yourself to stop doodling when you start and to stop thinking of him when it creeps up on you :)... (read in full...)
He's married and much older.... and I've a serious crush on him. what advice can you suggest for me?
Q. Hi. So i'm sure this has been discussed countless times, but i still feel the need to get my situation out there and hear your opinions on it... So i have this guy in my life, he's my trainer of sorts, and i see him a couple times a week. He's way...
A. 19 September 2016: There's no way he doesn't know it's inappropriate to dance with you and seductively song lyrics into your ear. He's cheating and making moves on you, but you must create space between you. Would you like your future husband doing this to another ... (read in full...)
Two years and the relationship has never advanced?
Q. I've been seeing this guy on and off for almost 2years we have not advanced in our relationship yet he tells me he loves me but makes no effort. is it too late to ask him to just be friends?...
A. 19 September 2016: You haven't advanced because you've been on and off. When you're on and off, people often still say we've been together for two years (for example), but a month or so is missing, when you add up the off days/weeks.
It's never too late to break up... (read in full...)
Anyone have co-parenting experience?
Q. Does anyone here have any experience with co-parenting, or having a baby with someone you aren't in a relationship with? Maybe you broke up before/right after the baby was born, or maybe it was a fling or friends with benefits that ended up in...
A. 19 September 2016: It sounds like you're looking for a load of positive outcomes. Are you in this situation yourself?
A baby won't keep people together for long, if at all, so it's rare people live together to co-parent, if they aren't a couple.
Each situatio... (read in full...)
My LDR is stressing me out. I do want to keep the relationship. What can I do?
Q. My relationship is stressing me out. To give a bit of background. I was with my ex for 7 years and he cheated. Left me for her. I was single for 9-10 months when I got with my current boyfriend. We've been together 8 months now. Everything w...
A. 19 September 2016: I'm in an LDR and I was paranoid that (early on) my boyfriend wasn't telling me everything about two of his friendships, and I'd never had friends who hadn't back stabbed me. So, I Googled *a lot*, trying to find something that justified my nerves. ... (read in full...)
How does this plan look to you?
Q. So I have posted about a guy I met online. I managed to find cheap plane tickets to visit him, so I am going there in a little bit. We have been messaging for over a month and skyping/texting for over 2 weeks. I really like him and I just want to ...
A. 19 September 2016: His interest seems weak when it comes to actions, though, so don't get your hopes up too much C and don't take control of what you do when you meet, so you can tell how interested he actually is.... (read in full...)
If I'm a good kisser, how likely is it that I'll also be a good lover?
Q. I've made out with 5-6 girls and I think I'm a good kisser because I know women hate men who slober over them and I try to figure out what does it for them and try to make them feel good. I honestly think I get more enjoyment thinking I'm g...
A. 19 September 2016: Ugh; I hate that peer pressure makes people feel less than if they're inexperienced!
OP, ignore the fact that you're a virgin and don't think about what sex will be like - just take it as it comes and focusing on her pleasure, as well as your own... (read in full...)
I'm besotted with a female colleague
Q. Hi, I'm currently married with children, happily I must add. Intimacy has been an issue between us for a longtime and not just sex but otherwise we are very happy and good together. About a week ago through the course of work I met another woman wh...
A. 19 September 2016: You don't love her; you don't even know her. You're infatuated with the new lady - like a new gadget, completely unlike any other you've seen, besides your reliable version 1 (your partner).
You're lusting. Don't confuse it with love because ... (read in full...)
Some advice please on how to ensure that things do not go any further and do not lead to sex? Because I don't want that until I'm older
Q. I am 13 years old, female and is currently in a relationship of 4 months. My boyfriend and I haven't gone any further than straddling and French kissing until yesterday. No clothes were removed but there was grinding involved. And to be complete...
A. 19 September 2016: Hun, that is still grinding and it's teasing both of your privates into preparing themselves for what you're not ready for yet. I mean, honestly? I'm 21 and I find it difficult to keep my hands off my boyfriend when he's with me (we're LDR). Som... (read in full...)
How does this plan look to you?
Q. So I have posted about a guy I met online. I managed to find cheap plane tickets to visit him, so I am going there in a little bit. We have been messaging for over a month and skyping/texting for over 2 weeks. I really like him and I just want to ...
A. 18 September 2016: Brace yourself for disinterest. The plan is good (stay in public the whole time!), but if he'd never have suggested it, there's an issue. My boyfriend and I are both shy and we met online, he offered his number first and I got invited to a mee... (read in full...)
Some advice please on how to ensure that things do not go any further and do not lead to sex? Because I don't want that until I'm older
Q. I am 13 years old, female and is currently in a relationship of 4 months. My boyfriend and I haven't gone any further than straddling and French kissing until yesterday. No clothes were removed but there was grinding involved. And to be complete...
A. 18 September 2016: You stop doing things that lead to sex. Honestly, at your age, a peck and cuddles are where it should stop. No straddling and no grinding because that's encouraging your hormones to go crazy. I'm very glad you know you're not ready, but you n... (read in full...)
Unexpected break-up. Can anyone give me any advice? Advice from guys would be much appreciated.
Q. Me and my boyfriend were together for nine months and I was so happy. Suddenly, he broke up with me on Monday and I don’t understand why. He said he thinks we’re not suited and have different life experiences but I don’t understand how this can...
A. 18 September 2016: I'm not so damning when it comes to LDRs; they can be great, but only if both people are invested in each other equally. I also won't suggest he could have been cheating because he struggled to keep an erection; he could have been stressed/nervous... (read in full...)
I'm alarmed at my LDR boyfriend's interest in a receptionist
Q. I'm in a long distance relationship. We only see each other about once a month. We've been together over 3 years. My boyfriend enjoys buying old cars from auctions, fixing them up, then reselling them. He has always brought his cars to a friend's...
A. 18 September 2016: How long are the once a month visits? How long has it been like this? Have you stayed together any longer before? What are the plans on closing the distance? The reason I ask is because I can understand not being able to see each other more often... (read in full...)
I met up with someone from a dating site, didn't like her and don't know how to tell her
Q. There is no way to say this without sounding bad but here goes: I met this girl on a dating site and she said her profile that she was looking to 'casually date with possibility of more' she even said she wants to talk 'awhile' before meeting i...
A. 18 September 2016: Okay, here are the problems and suggestions, in my opinion: - acne scars aren't someone's fault and not everyone wants to or can afford to fix misaligned teeth, so you may need to be more lenient with your judgements and see if you can still be... (read in full...)
My mum won't let us marry, should we run away?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a secret relationship for 6 years now. This is because my mum simply won't allow us to marry or be together. She strictly forbids it due to past conflict with their family against ours. (As you can imagine it's ...
A. 17 September 2016: I think marrying to close the distance is nearly always a bad idea because you're then tied to someone you love, but have little real life experiences with, even if you spend months together at a time.
Moving out is a good idea, though.... (read in full...)
He says he can't date for two years
Q. Hello. i'm a freshman girl in high school and I honestly have liked this kid for the past few months now. We started talking a lot and things started as very little friends to flirting all the time. He calls me beautiful, i'm perfect, i could be a ...
A. 17 September 2016: It's possible he's just toying with you, but you're both very young, so it's probably a good idea to wait until you're both a bit older and more mature.
Be patient and, if you really like each other, two years will do no harm.... (read in full...)
Meeting with the only guy in my life I never got bored of
Q. Hello agony aunts! I am 27 living in Europe. I'm asking for advice with regard to my longest crush ever. When I was 20 years old, I went into yahoo chatrooms and met D. We started chatting and just LOVED talking to him. Initially he hadnt taken m...
A. 17 September 2016: I'd suggest him coming to you, but staying in a hotel and you being clear that you'd like to meet your *friend*. Nothing sexual should happen, as you were both adults in those 7 years and should have met up at least once. This is a fantasy and ... (read in full...)
My mum won't let us marry, should we run away?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a secret relationship for 6 years now. This is because my mum simply won't allow us to marry or be together. She strictly forbids it due to past conflict with their family against ours. (As you can imagine it's ...
A. 17 September 2016: Quite frankly, OP, part of your problem is that keeping secrets was your answer, along with lying and running away being your future plan. It's immature and you need to act appropriately.
What happened between the families? In certain situatio... (read in full...)
Have I put the final nail in the coffin or is the friendship still okay?
Q. I'm friends with a female co worker. we have had out fair share of fallings out but have always made up. as it was her last day at work, I shook her hand and wished her all the best with her new adventure as she is moving to start a new job work...
A. 17 September 2016: She isn't and was never your friend, OP. You went overboard each and every time, so you scared her off. Leave her be and don't involve other people in this mess.
Please seek therapy for your obsessive behaviour.... (read in full...)
How can I find a way to trust my boyfriend? Because I feel I can't trust him
Q. PLEASE HELP ME. I am at the END of my rope. I have been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years and I just CANNOT trust him no matter what. No matter what he says or does. I CANNOT trust him. I CANNOT DO IT. It is making me paranoid, jealous, ins...
A. 16 September 2016: I'm not going to give you advice for this relationship because that's short-sighted and futile. You need to be single for several months and seek professional help to deal with your paranoia.
Whether he's cheated or not, you haven't said anything... (read in full...)
Is it right to take a lover now?
Q. I am a twenty two year old married Indian woman. My husband has been working overseas for the last four years. He last visited me in August 2014 when we spent two weeks together I spent my twentieth birthday in December 2014 with my parents,...
A. 16 September 2016: This sounds more like a fantasy than real life. However, I'll answer as though it's genuine.
I think you should leave your husband, as you're not getting anything out of the relationship.
However, you shouldn't have a baby with a man just becau... (read in full...)
I can't fall in love again..why?
Q. Since coming out of a two year long toxic relationship way back in February, I've been finding it really difficult to fall in love with anyone else. I really loved the guy I was with and still believe I feel something for him as he was my first love ...
A. 15 September 2016: Stop trying to fall in love so quickly. You're young and you're out of a difficult relationship this year - it's not easy to let go. Slow down and don't rebound by trying to replace it. Find something new, not the same.... (read in full...)
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