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| | *ndie's Thoughts's profile:I'm Andie and I'm surviving life until I can really start to live it :)
Karma does happen:
My dad was a married woman's other guy for only a few weeks (about a decade before my mum met him), then realised he wasn't okay with helping her betray her husband. His friend became her other guy, husband came home while they were at it, the guy jumped out of the window and the husband knew, so grabbed a bicycle, chased him and punched him once, going 20mph, so it knocked him out. A couple of relationships later, after getting £15,000 in debt to help a woman leave her abusive husband and getting in a relationship with her, my dad came back from a holiday with his parents and found her with another guy. |
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How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 11 January 2017: OP, you do not love her. You don't respect her either, or you'd just let go and move on. Accept that you shouldn't be with her and make the active decision to move on.... (read in full...)
Trust ring--what should I have engraved on it?
Q. I lied to my boyfriend, and I made many mistakes. I'm getting him a promise ring and I want it to make up for all of that, to show him he can trust me and I won't ever make the same mistakes again. What should be engraved on the ring? ...
A. 8 November 2016: I'm glad it's working out - I just hope it wasn't expensive, in case it gets damaged, lost or you break up.... (read in full...)
I just found out my LDR boyfriend got another girl pregnant
Q. good day guys,I am in deep pain right now..I don't know wat to do ..I feel like am going insane..I have been dating myboyfriend for 11months now which is almost a year.He has been in school ever since we started dating DAT means I have not seen for ...
A. 7 November 2016: I know you do, OP, but he doesn't love you enough not to cheat and not to use protection with people he cheats with. He may have a sexually transmitted disease now - don't have any sex with him, not even oral sex, as you could get it too.
You d... (read in full...)
I'm feeling guilty, I ran into my ex and feel like we sort of had a date. Do I tell my girlfriend?
Q. Greetings I know this is going to be a long post but please bare with me, something really weird happened to me very recently and i could really use your insight. Me and a couple of guy friends went out for a friday night but since i dont drink i ...
A. 6 November 2016: They cut contact for different reasons. Sometimes they can't stand each other and sometimes it's because it's easier to move on.
In this case, it's easier to move on, if you cut contact, because you're too familiar on a deep emotional level - ... (read in full...)
My sister in college is in a LDR spending all of her time trying to be with her boyfriend. Family is worried about her!
Q. My sister is younger than me and just started college. Just before she left for college she got a boyfriend. I've never met him but he's met my parents and they say he is very nice. Now she is at college they are about hundreds miles apart and ...
A. 6 November 2016: I'm in a long distance relationship and I can understand wanting to spend all your spare time talking to your SO.
It's honestly none of your business. You may be okay going longer without talking to your partner, but your sister hasn't found an... (read in full...)
I just found out my LDR boyfriend got another girl pregnant
Q. good day guys,I am in deep pain right now..I don't know wat to do ..I feel like am going insane..I have been dating myboyfriend for 11months now which is almost a year.He has been in school ever since we started dating DAT means I have not seen for ...
A. 6 November 2016: This would be a deal breaker for most of us. Not only did he cheat, it wasn't protected enough and she's going to have his baby - a lifelong reminder of the affair.
I don't think you should stay with him, any more. You will fall in love again an... (read in full...)
My sister in college is in a LDR spending all of her time trying to be with her boyfriend. Family is worried about her!
Q. My sister is younger than me and just started college. Just before she left for college she got a boyfriend. I've never met him but he's met my parents and they say he is very nice. Now she is at college they are about hundreds miles apart and ...
A. 6 November 2016: Not everyone wants the "college experience". She doesn't. I think if she's old enough to Ben at college, you all need to let her experience it the way she wants to - not the way you think she should.
If he's a nice guy, it's not bad that she's se... (read in full...)
I'm feeling guilty, I ran into my ex and feel like we sort of had a date. Do I tell my girlfriend?
Q. Greetings I know this is going to be a long post but please bare with me, something really weird happened to me very recently and i could really use your insight. Me and a couple of guy friends went out for a friday night but since i dont drink i ...
A. 6 November 2016: The fact you're questioning this shows you're not okay with it while you're committed to someone else. If you loved having her around just as a friend, it wouldn't feel wrong, but she is an ex you have a lot of history with and that's why it doesn't ... (read in full...)
What do ladies think of men who shave everywhere because they are hairy?
Q. What do girls feel about guys who shave their whole body neck to toe because they are overly hairy everywhere otherwise?...
A. 6 November 2016: Thing is, OP, being completely hairless (other than head hair/eyebrows and regardless of gender) can make people uncomfortable because it may look prepubescent.
However, you don't need lots of body hair to be masculine and you don't need to remov... (read in full...)
What do ladies think of men who shave everywhere because they are hairy?
Q. What do girls feel about guys who shave their whole body neck to toe because they are overly hairy everywhere otherwise?...
A. 5 November 2016: Some won't like it. Some won't mind. Some will like it.
It's all preferences, so do what you want to do for you, not for potential girlfriends.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is in contact with a girl that likes him, do I confront him again?
Q. I have a new boyfriend but we haven't known each other for years(2 months) Everything is fantastic. Not moving too fast, we haven't had sex yet, but have done other smaller things. Basically its on a good emotional level too, we are very open wit...
A. 4 November 2016: All I'd add to WiseOwlE's advice is that I really think 2 months is too soon to move in together.... (read in full...)
Is this normal? Should I avoid any contact sexually with men if I'm not gay or bi?
Q. I'm a heterosexual male and is not sexualy attracted to men. However I do get turned on when I see a male erection. I fantasise on occasions about performing felatio and mutual masturbation with guys. I have also participated in mutual masturbation ...
A. 4 November 2016: You are bi-curious, OP. You're not straight.
The thing is, that's okay. You can't be straight and have/enjoy sex with guys, though.... (read in full...)
Is this FWB thing wrong or should my friends not judge?
Q. Hello everyone I'm having a sort of fling with a guy I work with who is 20 years older then me but I feel dirty and a little bit ashamed after my friends started saying he was a pervert and that it was wrong. I'm 25, he is 46. He's divorced an...
A. 4 November 2016: You're both consenting.
However, "don't crap where you eat". You may lose your job over this guy - is a hook up worth it? Not only that, but you also feel dirty about it.
I wouldn't advise continuing, but it's your choice.... (read in full...)
Have a child with my unhelpful ex, my parents are supporting me and I'm pregnant again by the same guy! How do I tell my parents?
Q. When I was 17 I got pregnant and had my son, shortly after he was born my bf and I broke up. He isn't s bad guy we were both just young. My parents blamed him for me pregnancy because he was older they put more blame on him (he was 29 when I got ...
A. 4 November 2016: He should. You may have been too young to be a parent, but he wasn't. Don't make excuses for him. You, however, should have learnt from the first time and you haven't. Don't waste any more time - tell your parents today or tomorrow. Don't ... (read in full...)
My best male friend chose a g/f over me and 6 years later I found out he married her. How do I get over the hurt?
Q. So I was best friends with a guy who I had known all my life right up until we were 18. Even though we didn't see each other anymore, I still messaged him all the time and I still considered him my best friend. But he then got a girlfriend, who made ...
A. 4 November 2016: I think you need to come to terms with what happened, from a perspective that isn't yours. Yes, you were best friends, but girls tend to have a different idea of "best friends" than guys do, so it's possible the friendship was higher on your p... (read in full...)
Three boys to choose from!
Q. Hello im a freshman in high school and I am having some problems with 3 guys... I know it seems like a lot but I really need help because it is taking over my head every single day. (Ill use Boy A, B, and C for their names). Boy A is a sophomore...
A. 3 November 2016: The 18 year old is a man, so he's way too old. At 16 or under, it should be one year older/younger or less.
The handsy boy does not want you for anything other than your body. That's not okay, especially at your age. He's also not an option. ... (read in full...)
Have a child with my unhelpful ex, my parents are supporting me and I'm pregnant again by the same guy! How do I tell my parents?
Q. When I was 17 I got pregnant and had my son, shortly after he was born my bf and I broke up. He isn't s bad guy we were both just young. My parents blamed him for me pregnancy because he was older they put more blame on him (he was 29 when I got ...
A. 3 November 2016: You can't. You need to be responsible because you haven't been, so far. A 29 year old shouldn't be with a 17 year old and both should know well enough to use protection - he was not young; he was reckless. Same this time round; you've both been ... (read in full...)
He'll only communicate with me via the dating site
Q. Help, I have been messaging a guy for 4 months on a dating site. We seem to have alot in common and message for hours maybe 2 times a week. But we have never met and i have never heard his voice. He wont share his phone number with me or txt my ...
A. 3 November 2016: Catfish or ego.
My boyfriend and I were 19 and 20, limited income, 100+ miles between us and we met within 2 months. We also spoke over text and phone calls within 1 month, then video chatted a few times before meeting.
If this guy liked you, h... (read in full...)
The man I'm dating keeps asking for sex
Q. Hello. Looking for some advice. I have been single for 17 years and dating the last eight years. Have had a few relationships that lasted six months. I have had a lot of bad luck in relationships. Seems like men don't want a serious relationship. ...
A. 3 November 2016: When someone asks for sex before getting to know you, that is their priority.
Personally, if I was looking for something serious, I wouldn't continue with anyone pushing the sex talk, especially within the first couple of months and before a... (read in full...)
How do I force myself to want to care?
Q. Hey all, I wanna know more about how to be more sociable. I am tired of being the quiet, minding his own business guy. I was a very quiet kid and am a quiet adult today. The problem is not fear or lack of confidence. Infact, in my head, I'm the smar...
A. 2 November 2016: *"It's possible" was what my first response was supposed to start with.
Anyway, in that case, I think you're fine. Not everyone has lots of personal relationships and most of those that do are not close to all of them because we tend to attach t... (read in full...)
Why did she have to exchange numbers with a pervert and a complete stranger. HELP!
Q. This is going to be a long one but what I'm saying was suspicion until I saw it with my own eyes. She has changed and has been hideous for which I think the situation that I've mentioned below might be the reason. So here it goes. Hi, my girlfri...
A. 2 November 2016: You're unhappy with the way she dresses, who she talks to, you check her phone/instagram, etc. You need to break up with her. It may be coming from a protective place, but it is controlling.
She's naive if she's still talking to someone who's be... (read in full...)
How do I force myself to want to care?
Q. Hey all, I wanna know more about how to be more sociable. I am tired of being the quiet, minding his own business guy. I was a very quiet kid and am a quiet adult today. The problem is not fear or lack of confidence. Infact, in my head, I'm the smar...
A. 1 November 2016: Iran possible you're inner confidence is arrogance and you're subconsciously afraid of people not seeing you as highly as you see yourself.
You don't have to care deeply about anyone else, but caring on a general level is a useful skill. Try volu... (read in full...)
Husband took advantage of my drunken state
Q. I'm not really sure what to do. Two nights ago, my husband and I went to a party. I drank, he did not. I drank a little too much and was barely functioning. We came home and had sex. He went soft so I rolled over and passed out. Next thing I know, ...
A. 31 October 2016: That's rape. I'm so sorry he violated you. The "good" news is he probably didn't think it was rape, so he didn't do that intentionally, but he did know you were out of it and he should know that you can't consent when you're like that.
Defin... (read in full...)
Can't decide over career or homemaker
Q. So my boyfriend, successful with his own business thinks being a career oriented woman with goals is good, (adulting) and I think being a stay at home dog mom is good, where is the happy middle? :/ we are so different in this respect but we love ...
A. 31 October 2016: Being a stay at home mum is a thing, but not being a stay at home dog mum. There needs to be more to your life than sponging off of someone else.
Be independent enough to have a part time job, at least. Having no job makes it harder to get one ... (read in full...)
I've never had feelings like this before, but I'm getting whiplash!
Q. Ok, so here it is: A couple months ago i met this guy, and it was instant attraction from both sides. Physical attraction that i have NEVER felt before, but what was strange is that there was the emotional attraction as well. We are very good ...
A. 31 October 2016: He's playing you. He's not available because he's in a relationship. Have you left your partner now? You need to cut this guy off, even though it's hard. This isn't what love is.... (read in full...)
Why is he paying child support to his ex if their laszy 17 year old daughter is living with us?
Q. I'm back again for more advice. A little update on my last situation because this kind of involved it. I am still with my fiance, although the wedding date is no longer may 2017. I felt like we have issues that need worked out before that happens. A ...
A. 31 October 2016: He and his ex have raised two entitled daughters - one going so far as to cut contact because he wasn't paying for her any more. You have no say in raising her, so I think you should stop paying and cleaning up after her. Tell him you're happy for... (read in full...)
I don't want to have anything to do with my family ... ever again!
Q. I want to go far away from my family without telling them where I am going and never ever wanting any contact with them again. I don't know if anyone here knows how it feels to be manipulated by family members till you become a dry well then th...
A. 31 October 2016: I've been there - not paying for them, but being emotionally abused (unintentionally). They'd always put me down and treat my younger brother like a saint. I've strongly considered giving up contact with them, but here's why I don't think you ... (read in full...)
I'm on vacation with girlfriend but found out she wants to break up with me. What do I do now?
Q. Ok so I'm on holiday in Tenerife with my girlfriend of 4 months and I have just found out she wants to end it with me either during or after the holiday. I've read messages between her and her mum who is encouraging her to "get shot as I'm not good ...
A. 30 October 2016: Also, in future, please don't look through people's phones. If you have to snoop, you don't trust them and you can't be trusted either.... (read in full...)
I gave him my number, he hasn't called and I can't call him!
Q. I met a boy when we were both on holiday and I gave him my number. We were in a place with no mobile signal and no wifi so he promised to text/call me when he got home. I know that he got home 5 days ago and he still hasn't got in contact with me. I ...
A. 30 October 2016: Don't freak out, OP. If he's interested, he'll contact you, but if not, it's not major.
Try to go with the flow and not get too worked up about a new guy. Relax, be with friends and family :)... (read in full...)
I'm on vacation with girlfriend but found out she wants to break up with me. What do I do now?
Q. Ok so I'm on holiday in Tenerife with my girlfriend of 4 months and I have just found out she wants to end it with me either during or after the holiday. I've read messages between her and her mum who is encouraging her to "get shot as I'm not good ...
A. 30 October 2016: I think you should find a new hotel room to enjoy the rest of your holiday alone and not stay with her when you get back.
In future, I'd let the relationship blossom longer before going on holiday with someone.
I'm sorry this has happened, bu... (read in full...)
I want to dump him but don't want to hurt him
Q. I go out with this boy and he loves me so much and I don't want to hurt him, but I don't love him as much. I want to dump him but I'm afraid that he will hate me and possibly regret ever going out with me. Any advice?...
A. 30 October 2016: I know this is nerve-wracking, but you're young - you'll both date people and forget about this in a year or so :) Just sit privately and be gentle - don't blame anyone or make it more complicated.... (read in full...)
My cheating partner found out I got my girlfriend married, up and left her husband. I can't believe how she has changed!
Q. Ive got a problem story that I have bought on myself and im not looking for sympathy as I know ive done wrong.7.5 years ago my friend and his new girlfriend came to my house and for some silly reason me and her hit it off from the start.aA few ...
A. 30 October 2016: "What's best for me is...." You're still being selfish, OP. You *need* to tell her, or at least break up before the baby. You don't need to stick with her and tell her in 6 months; that could be time for her to heal and you're prolonging it for your ... (read in full...)
What rights do I have as a grandparent?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a grandparent of a now 2 year old grandson.My grandson is constantly in and out of CPS because my daughter is involved with the child's father and he is the one abusing him.Now I am trying to get visitation rights and she told the ...
A. 29 October 2016: You're in America, so it may be different, but my mum's cousin has joint custody of their daughter S's two children M & H because S was involved with dangerous people. M & H's father's are different, but they don't know that, so they've been raised ... (read in full...)
My cheating partner found out I got my girlfriend married, up and left her husband. I can't believe how she has changed!
Q. Ive got a problem story that I have bought on myself and im not looking for sympathy as I know ive done wrong.7.5 years ago my friend and his new girlfriend came to my house and for some silly reason me and her hit it off from the start.aA few ...
A. 29 October 2016: Please tell your partner. You've both betrayed your partners, but don't betray her further by not telling her, even if you won't cheat again. She deserves to know and decide if she wants to stay or not. She's the mother of your baby, please finally ... (read in full...)
First time sex wasn't good for my g/f and I want to help next time be better
Q. My gf and I attempted sex for the first time… and it was a little rockier a process than we had initially anticipated! When i tried to go in, it wouldn’t go in past the tip. In addition my gf was not getting to feel it that much. I felt really ...
A. 28 October 2016: Buying a book will offend her.
Sex is trial and error. You have to try different things you both consent to at the time. Make sure you focus on her so that she's relaxed and aroused enough for her body to be ready for any penetration.
Take it... (read in full...)
Best friend or girlfriend?
Q. So I've known my best friend since sixth grade,she moved to our hometown during the summer before sixth grade and every since then we've been inseparable. We've been there for each other during everything birth of her first born the birth of ...
A. 28 October 2016: Just deal with it if/when it comes. When you feel it, sit yourself down and talk yourself out of it. "I have no proof". "Im insecure". "It makes sense they won't always be able to reply instantly".... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 28 October 2016: That's several months away - stop talking to her until you're over her, then just talk to her as you would talk to a brother.... (read in full...)
Trust ring--what should I have engraved on it?
Q. I lied to my boyfriend, and I made many mistakes. I'm getting him a promise ring and I want it to make up for all of that, to show him he can trust me and I won't ever make the same mistakes again. What should be engraved on the ring? ...
A. 28 October 2016: A ring isn't a good idea, Hun - it's expensive, most boys don't wear rings (especially not from their girlfriend) and you probably won't be together in a few weeks/months/years (sorry, just being realistic), so you'd have wasted your money.
The b... (read in full...)
Can you ruin chances with Mr. Right due to dating inexperience?
Q. I guess you can say that I am not a dating expert at all, so I've had my fair share of unsuccessful dates. I'm in my early 20s and started dating around 19. I recently picked up a few books on dating and read all the tips and do's/don't of dating. ...
A. 28 October 2016: If the universe has a "Mr Right", you really think you being human and making a few minor "mistakes" on dates is going to steer him away for good? If it doesn't work out, you're not compatible and he's not your "Mr Right".... (read in full...)
How do you get over someone who is sexually gratifying and stunning?
Q. I was dating a guy but know now he's not right for me. I ended it with him. He's dating other women, not exclusive though. I liked him and he was the first guy I had sex multiple times with. However, I just know deep down he's not for me because ...
A. 28 October 2016: You can't date seriously while having sex with someone else, so that's not an option.
To get over someone, you have to treat it like a break up - cutting contact and moving on, not giving in to urges just because you have them.
Don't compare... (read in full...)
Should I now offer to pay more rent when my mother come to live with us, temporarily? My mother and I will share a room
Q. Hi! I'm currently living with two friends, but my mother is going to move in with us from another country, so we are all going to live together for a few months until my mother and I move to a place for just the two of us. Meanwhile me and my mo...
A. 27 October 2016: When my boyfriend stays with my family for a few days, he doesn't pay anything, but he does pay some rent when he stays during uni holidays (so 6 or so weeks). We share a room, but he still uses food, water, electricity, etc., which your mum would ... (read in full...)
Can you ruin chances with Mr. Right due to dating inexperience?
Q. I guess you can say that I am not a dating expert at all, so I've had my fair share of unsuccessful dates. I'm in my early 20s and started dating around 19. I recently picked up a few books on dating and read all the tips and do's/don't of dating. ...
A. 27 October 2016: You're putting too much pressure on yourself. When you meet the real "Mr Right" it'll work out because things will fall into place. You should be looking for "Mr Right Now", if anything, or your eyes putting too much pressure on yourself.
You'r... (read in full...)
Is my brother in law attracted to me?
Q. I've known "BIL" (long term bfs brother) through a friend for a long time but we've never got to properly know each other as I'm quite shy but I have became more outgoing through the years. I also think this is to do with his wife as she is very ...
A. 27 October 2016: It doesn't matter - he's your boyfriend's brother and you're entertaining this toxic situation. Pull your hand away. Don't look at him. Keep boundaries clear. Also, if your boyfriend slates his brother's wife, he's probably not a great guy, to be ... (read in full...)
How can I make my husband forgive my mother and myself?
Q. I meet my husband six years ago online. We are from different country and love each other very much. March 2014 we married and I move to his country. I agreed to help him in his business before I get a job there. Therefore I help him. He said that ...
A. 26 October 2016: This seems like a poor match - no talk of love or understanding between cultures. It's possible a divorce may be best. You can't make him forgive anyone or give him his pride back.... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 26 October 2016: That's okay. Now you can get over her.... (read in full...)
I'm only important to him at night
Q. iam having a boyfriend and I love him ,but he only takes me important during the night for example he can spend the day not calling me or even not sending texts ,he only does during the night,he hides me from his elder family members,does this man ...
A. 24 October 2016: No, you're his flirting secret. It's best to let go and break up.... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 17 October 2016: That's not a bad thing because you can get over your crush. Leave it be.... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 9 October 2016: We have, OP. You need to stick with it; it may take a few months.
Talk to her less.
Treat her like a boy cousin.
Don't compliment her on her looks.
Don't be alone with her.
Don't kiss/hug/lean on each other.... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 5 October 2016: It may be legal, but they are close family members and if there's a break up, it could pull the family apart.
You don't have to stop talking to her, just don't be alone together and treat her like you would with your boy cousin. Don't flirt, d... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 4 October 2016: It means you're both acting inappropriately. If you won't block her, you need to treat her like a boy cousin, not let her lay on your chest or hold hands.
It's normal to have a crush, but it's a bad idea to allow it to continue.... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 4 October 2016: Stop talking to her for a while. Tell her you need a break and block her. This isn't going to work out, OP. You need to find someone who isn't a relative and who lives closer to you, so you can get to know them. Your cousin isn't a real person in ... (read in full...)
Best friend or girlfriend?
Q. So I've known my best friend since sixth grade,she moved to our hometown during the summer before sixth grade and every since then we've been inseparable. We've been there for each other during everything birth of her first born the birth of ...
A. 27 July 2016: You're making it harder for yourself. You're going to put her off completely, if you continue.
Ultimately, having sex changed the friendship forever, so you either see it through or end up with an awkward friendship, if she wants one at all, any... (read in full...)
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