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| | *ndie's Thoughts's profile:I'm Andie and I'm surviving life until I can really start to live it :)
Karma does happen:
My dad was a married woman's other guy for only a few weeks (about a decade before my mum met him), then realised he wasn't okay with helping her betray her husband. His friend became her other guy, husband came home while they were at it, the guy jumped out of the window and the husband knew, so grabbed a bicycle, chased him and punched him once, going 20mph, so it knocked him out. A couple of relationships later, after getting £15,000 in debt to help a woman leave her abusive husband and getting in a relationship with her, my dad came back from a holiday with his parents and found her with another guy. |
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I accidentally sent his ex a friend request and she accepted. I don't want to be friends
Q. Here's my issue, I have been in a relationship for 6yrs, rocky sometimes, I found out he has been having chats with his ex, the problem now is I was on face book and came across her page I was curious to find out what she looked like but apparently ...
A. 22 November 2016: I don't know what you want from us; we're telling you to leave, he's doing dumb things and you're treating Facebook a bit like teenagers do.
I think your best bet is to break up and move on to someone who doesn't use Facebook much or at all. You... (read in full...)
Sexting and video chat is not enough for me ...
Q. So me and this guy talk but he lives like almost 3 hours away from me, and me and him sext all time but it's just not fun for me anymore... I feel bad because we can'r see each other and sexting is basically all we have... How do I make things fun ...
A. 21 November 2016: If you can't meet up, you should break it off. Things won't change because you're limited by this virtual stuff.... (read in full...)
I want to sort everything out with my boyfriend!
Q. Sorry this is really long and kind of a rant but I need help sooooooo bad ?? Me an my boyfriend have been having a few problems latlely and it feels like I'm going to lose him. We've been together for 1 year and 3 months today and I need him like...
A. 21 November 2016: I don't think you're going to like this, OP, but you're not in the right place for a relationship. You're both young and this happens a lot - when you're this jealous, you're not ready for a boyfriend.
Let this guy go and be single - enjoy sc... (read in full...)
The guy who meant nothing to her in her past got to live out his fantasy while I, despite being her boyfriend, don't get the same privilege. Isn't it unfair?
Q. I guess the question I have is what do I do? About 3 years ago before my girlfriend met me she had sex with a girl while a guy she occasionally hooked up with watched. They were all out at the pub and the girl was interested in her and the guys ...
A. 21 November 2016: What's unfair is that you expect her to do this for you, even though she doesn't want to.
You know what happened to the guy she did that for? He's not in her life any more. Yes, it's because of that - maybe you don't care if that happens to you t... (read in full...)
I've taken him back 3 times despite him having broken my trust, now I'm pregnant after a miscarriage and I feel he's straying again
Q. I keep taking my boyfriend back time and time again after he cheats on me or hurts me, and I really don't know why. At first I took him back because I generally felt I was to blame. I'm saying it was my fault, but I did a few stupid things at the ...
A. 21 November 2016: First off, you do not *need* to stay with him. He may not have done it to you (or not intentionally), but you're *controlling* yourself by making you think you owe him you staying. You don't.
Secondly, if this relationship has any chance, you need... (read in full...)
For me, its not "just a kiss"!
Q. Hi I could use some help. Recently I've just started to doubt a lot of things regarding myself and my future, but this one's going to be about a guy. So there's this guy that im really interested in at work. Infact, I'm possibly falling in love with ...
A. 18 November 2016: I wouldn't advise it, but I don't think you're going to listen because you seem set on it.... (read in full...)
Does this guy have a girlfriend? I'm so confused!
Q. There is this guy who I used to date and have sex with, and all of a sudden, I saw a bunch of things that raise the question: Does this guy have an official girlfriend? -Firstly, he posted a picture on IG with a girl on Halloween and she commente...
A. 18 November 2016: Block him. It doesn't matter whether he's with her or not; you can't move on until you refuse to think about him and redirect your thoughts when you do.
You can move on, OP; you have it in you, but you have to be strict with yourself to keep you... (read in full...)
I am infactuated with this single dad!
Q. So there is this man at my church and he is a single dad. We've started to casually talk here and there. Two weeks ago he was saying to me how he would love to have more kids. Then last week he asks he personally if I ever wanted kids. This might ...
A. 17 November 2016: I think that you need to step back; having a crush is okay, but dating a single parent is serious and needs to be thought through properly. You're very young for a potential step-parent role in the near future. How old is he? Where is the chi... (read in full...)
What is wrong with me I want a relationship but I don't want sex?
Q. Hey Cupids,I'm still a young woman who is truly in to sex with men but I have been single for years and now I want to get into the dating world but not ready to have sex with anymore.I'm ready to travel and just do me but I do feel lonely at times ...
A. 17 November 2016: Singles' holidays. You may not find a date on any, but you could find a travelling buddy or just be less lonely.... (read in full...)
Why am I scared to touch this guy?
Q. Why am I scared to touch this guy? I feel like I'm not reciprocating enough. I do touch his his face while we kiss.I really like him alot. I do notice I'm not in touch with my feelings or even reality now. But I'm also not even sure of that, but ...
A. 17 November 2016: I really think you need to seek therapy to help you move forward positively, with or without this guy. You can't really have a healthy relationship when you need to heal yourself.... (read in full...)
For me, its not "just a kiss"!
Q. Hi I could use some help. Recently I've just started to doubt a lot of things regarding myself and my future, but this one's going to be about a guy. So there's this guy that im really interested in at work. Infact, I'm possibly falling in love with ...
A. 17 November 2016: I think you have a good idea about it. I'm all for people making their own choices, but I don't think teens should hook up with people without being in a strong relationship first.
If he's 20 or older, it's not a good idea. I know you said not... (read in full...)
My life is a living hell with this older man
Q. I had a crush with an older man who is about 60-65 not because i like him but because of situations this man will ask for sex all the time and anytime i give him sex i get hurt and sometimes when i say no is a problem too he gets mad at me,he makes ...
A. 17 November 2016: You need to leave. You are almost a child compared to him; he's using you and any arrangement you've had is not what's happening here.
I don't know enough about your country to tell you how, but you need to leave. Don't have sex with someone ... (read in full...)
My currrent crush is pushing for information on a previous crush.
Q. Me and this girl in my class have been friends. I have always liked her but never told her. A few days ago we decided to go for a movie. I wanted to go out with her a few times before I told her. Yesterday she read my status which was "Sometimes I ...
A. 17 November 2016: Be honest. It's not the same thing, but it's similar: my boyfriend had a former friend I felt uneasy about. He told me he'd never been in a relationship before, like me, but it made me a bit paranoid and I Googled them. I found proof she had a crush ... (read in full...)
Am I "withholding love" and therefore being manipulative??
Q. When my partner and I have a bad fight, she leaves for days, and I'm unable to display love. It feels fake if in the middle of everything I said "I love you so much" or "How are you doing, I miss you". I'm not withholding love as a punishment or to ...
A. 17 November 2016: I think you need individual therapy and couples therapy. She shouldn't just disappear, but you may hold a "grudge"/pain longer than she does.
In fact, I think you *definitely* need couples therapy to learn (together) how to communicate and reso... (read in full...)
Everytime I turn around she needs money.
Q. I am currently in a LDR and it has become frustrating how financially dependent she has become. We were in this situation when we lived in the same town, however, I was living at home and didn't pay any bills while working. Now I am living on my own ...
A. 17 November 2016: Ultimately, I don't think you should be paying anything for her, other than maybe pay for all of your visits (gas money, restaurant bill, movie tickets, etc.). You can help her budget, but not give her money, especially when you don't know where ... (read in full...)
I accidentally sent his ex a friend request and she accepted. I don't want to be friends
Q. Here's my issue, I have been in a relationship for 6yrs, rocky sometimes, I found out he has been having chats with his ex, the problem now is I was on face book and came across her page I was curious to find out what she looked like but apparently ...
A. 17 November 2016: Why aren't you friends with him on Facebook?
I think this is all ridiculously adolescent for a couple in their 50s. I think you need to limit your social media use and I think you need to date someone you trust, not someone you feel the need to ... (read in full...)
How can I face loneliness?
Q. How can I stop feeling so lonely? I have just started the process of getting to know myself yes at 31- meaning finally dealing with my loniloness and not using escape mechanisms such as the wrong crowds(friends) to waste time with or men(bad ...
A. 16 November 2016: You haven't given it enough time, OP. You're welcome to keep posting, but you'll get the same answers. We can't offer you more than what we have - you either take it, or remain stuck, unfortunately.
Volunteer, get a new job, develop a new hobby, e... (read in full...)
Why am I scared to touch this guy?
Q. Why am I scared to touch this guy? I feel like I'm not reciprocating enough. I do touch his his face while we kiss.I really like him alot. I do notice I'm not in touch with my feelings or even reality now. But I'm also not even sure of that, but ...
A. 16 November 2016: I think therapy would be a good outlet to figure out your feelings - not for this guy; that will gradually get better, but for yourself. It's possible that you're nervous about opening up because you're not (or don't seem to be) in an actual rel... (read in full...)
I am worried about my family's reaction when they see my test results.
Q. Hi there... So a little about me.. I recently moved to a different school and in a different country and Im turning 18 very soon.. So recently, I flew home to visit my parents even though I had tests coming up. And my holiday was just a week, the...
A. 15 November 2016: Your secret boyfriend is a big reason your grades aren't what you hoped, I'm afraid. You can't blame it on one week.
Just be honest about the boyfriend and the grades, then learn from your mistakes and don't have a boyfriend until you can juggle y... (read in full...)
I don’t to give my girlfriend visible hickies or love bites!
Q. Adults only please; this questions is not suitable for young readers. My gf has grown to love rough sex that leaves marks. I oblige but I draw the line at anything visible - often neck hickies or love bits. I don't want others to either see her a...
A. 14 November 2016: My boyfriend gives me love bites in places others won't see them. If you're okay with giving her love bites, tell her you are, but won't do them in places others will see. I don't think the public would assume she's battered, but most people pref... (read in full...)
I really want this girl. How can I get her interested in me? What do I need to do?
Q. Alright there's the same girl from my last question and I've been chasing her for the past two months now. I asked her if she liked me the same way I liked her or not because I couldn't tell and not even her friends at school knew if she liked me...
A. 13 November 2016: This is the time where you learn that consent is everything and she's saying no. It may suck because you have a crush, but let it go.
Totally your choice but, for what it's worth, most girls/women wouldn't want a boyfriend who smokes pot. You shou... (read in full...)
I'm very attracted to my therapist! Should I just stop with the therapy and ask her out?
Q. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety and I started seeing a therapist yesterday. And she's absolutely beautiful. I would've found it a little easier to talk to some middle aged woman or even an old person, but she's the same age as me, and ...
A. 12 November 2016: She can't date a client, even if you've only been there for one session and quit.
Seek a new therapist and let the crush fade.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said "love ya" instead of "I love you". Is there a difference?
Q. So my boyfriend has told me the L word. But he said "Love ya" instead of "I love you." Is there a difference?...
A. 12 November 2016: Yes. "I love you" is more serious. "Love ya" is a throw-away thing.
How long have you been together?
Is this the first time it's been said?
What is your relationship like?... (read in full...)
My heart belongs to another and I want out of my marriage but I won't be able to support myself/kids
Q. I am married and have been for 10 years. I have three beautiful children that I love more than anything. I stay home to care for them, as one of them is too young for school. Here is my dilemma. I am not in love with my husband. I haven't been for ...
A. 12 November 2016: As a mother, you can't jump from one man to another and you shouldn't have an affair (though nobody should) - imagine if it was your child being cheated on.... would it ever be acceptable?
If you've tried with him, get yourself a job and start sa... (read in full...)
I accidentally sent his ex a friend request and she accepted. I don't want to be friends
Q. Here's my issue, I have been in a relationship for 6yrs, rocky sometimes, I found out he has been having chats with his ex, the problem now is I was on face book and came across her page I was curious to find out what she looked like but apparently ...
A. 12 November 2016: Tell him before she does.
I let paranoia make me look into one of my boyfriend's former friends because I was scared and we were new. I accidentally followed her and unfollowed straight away. My stomach was in knots because they get email notifica... (read in full...)
I don't want my mom to be pregnant I like being the only child!
Q. I think my mom mother is pregnant she told my we are having a baby but I thought she was joking and I'm scared to really ask her cause I don't want another child I'm the only one and I like it like that...
A. 8 November 2016: It's ironic that you wouldn't be so selfish, if you'd already easy had another sibling.
You don't have to stay much longer, but it would be wise to learn what it's like to not be the centre of attention; I know it's tough, but it's a basic li... (read in full...)
My parents are not happy that my boyfriend is back in my life
Q. When I was 18 I got pregnant by my bf who was also 18. We had been dating for just over a year when it happened . I found out I was pregnant on our high school graduation day. With the help of both of our parents we were both able to go to ...
A. 8 November 2016: Please stick to that, OP; we had another OP just a littleness younger than you, in the same situation, but she's pregnant again, not having learnt from the first time.
Be very careful and your boyfriend needs to earn trust.... (read in full...)
I'm a 19 year old girl and I'm in love with my stepmom!
Q. Should I tell her or Not? I'm 19, and it's sad to say, but I'm in love with my step mom. It's a bad thing because I'm also a female. Every time that I'm around her, I stutter, smile a lot,etc. It's getting to the point to where I can't even hug...
A. 8 November 2016: Just treat her like a mother. Not a stepmum or friend - your actual mother. Don't cuddle, other than a quick hug hello/goodbye and keep it the way you would with your dad.... (read in full...)
Trust ring--what should I have engraved on it?
Q. I lied to my boyfriend, and I made many mistakes. I'm getting him a promise ring and I want it to make up for all of that, to show him he can trust me and I won't ever make the same mistakes again. What should be engraved on the ring? ...
A. 8 November 2016: I'm glad it's working out - I just hope it wasn't expensive, in case it gets damaged, lost or you break up.... (read in full...)
I'd like a gap year, is that so bad?
Q. Hi. So I know this question isn't really about relationships and sex but this sites by far my favourite and I figured you guys would be helpful. Im 17 and supposed to be starting university next September - I say supposed to because I'm completely ...
A. 7 November 2016: I'm with Honeypie - a gap year can be great, but only if you use it to figure out what you want to do by actually working somewhere. If you were my child, I would be disappointed if you took a year off to do nothing work-wise. I don't think cont... (read in full...)
I love my stepdaughter is that normal?
Q. Is it common for stepfathers to fall in love with their stepdaughters. Should i tell her she is a grown woman, and im not with her mother anymore.Iam going absolutely insane. I love her so much.what do i do? Am i a pervert for even thinking that....
A. 7 November 2016: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-a-19-year-old-girl-and-im.html
Is this you? It's very unusual that we'd get a post about a girl "in love" with her stepmum and a man "in love" with his stepdaughter in the same week, let alone 24 hours. B... (read in full...)
My parents are not happy that my boyfriend is back in my life
Q. When I was 18 I got pregnant by my bf who was also 18. We had been dating for just over a year when it happened . I found out I was pregnant on our high school graduation day. With the help of both of our parents we were both able to go to ...
A. 7 November 2016: He shouldn't get credit for staying; it's his son. You also shouldn't get credit for being the one to get up and take him to daycare. Your parents have been second parents and you only want them to take responsibility when it suits you, like ... (read in full...)
I just found out my LDR boyfriend got another girl pregnant
Q. good day guys,I am in deep pain right now..I don't know wat to do ..I feel like am going insane..I have been dating myboyfriend for 11months now which is almost a year.He has been in school ever since we started dating DAT means I have not seen for ...
A. 7 November 2016: I know you do, OP, but he doesn't love you enough not to cheat and not to use protection with people he cheats with. He may have a sexually transmitted disease now - don't have any sex with him, not even oral sex, as you could get it too.
You d... (read in full...)
Why aren't my parents happy for me and my boyfriend? I feel like I just can't win with them
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 and a half months and things are going great. For the first time in a long time, I havnt been so happy. And my whole family can see that and have all told me that they are happy I found a decent guy. ...
A. 7 November 2016: Don't listen to them. As long as you take things slowly and be responsible about it, there's no issue. You may be right for each other, you may not, but taking it slow and seeing each other is important - I think they're just being nosy.
You m... (read in full...)
I'm a 19 year old girl and I'm in love with my stepmom!
Q. Should I tell her or Not? I'm 19, and it's sad to say, but I'm in love with my step mom. It's a bad thing because I'm also a female. Every time that I'm around her, I stutter, smile a lot,etc. It's getting to the point to where I can't even hug...
A. 7 November 2016: This is a crush, not love, and you shouldn't tell her.
It's also not at all bad that you have a crush on a lady - it's very normal.
When did she enter your life? How old were you?
You need to hang out with people in your age group and think... (read in full...)
Am I crazy to think my abusive husband might change? I'm pregnant and don't want to break up
Q. I have been married to my husband for 4 years now and we just found out we are pregnant. 8weeks along. He has been mentally and physically abusive in the past. He's locked me out of the house and I stayed with my parents for a long while. He has ...
A. 6 November 2016: All I will say, as I don't yet have the time to write more:
If he can abuse you, he can abuse your child. He will NOT change while he doesn't have to and you need to put the child first and leave before they're born and see him abuse you.... (read in full...)
I'm feeling guilty, I ran into my ex and feel like we sort of had a date. Do I tell my girlfriend?
Q. Greetings I know this is going to be a long post but please bare with me, something really weird happened to me very recently and i could really use your insight. Me and a couple of guy friends went out for a friday night but since i dont drink i ...
A. 6 November 2016: They cut contact for different reasons. Sometimes they can't stand each other and sometimes it's because it's easier to move on.
In this case, it's easier to move on, if you cut contact, because you're too familiar on a deep emotional level - ... (read in full...)
My sister in college is in a LDR spending all of her time trying to be with her boyfriend. Family is worried about her!
Q. My sister is younger than me and just started college. Just before she left for college she got a boyfriend. I've never met him but he's met my parents and they say he is very nice. Now she is at college they are about hundreds miles apart and ...
A. 6 November 2016: I'm in a long distance relationship and I can understand wanting to spend all your spare time talking to your SO.
It's honestly none of your business. You may be okay going longer without talking to your partner, but your sister hasn't found an... (read in full...)
Boyfriend using his health as a reason to be lazy
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for three years. In these past three years, he has not has a job, is extremely lazy, relied on me and family to support him. I was on the verge of breaking up with him, then he went to the Doctor's and said he was ...
A. 6 November 2016: If he's been given meds for it, he probably has it. That doesn't mean he can't/shouldn't work, but you shouldn't be so dismissive, either.
You're at the end of the road. You need to leave or lay out what you need from him: him to start working ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my husband without hurting his feelings that he doesn't satisfy me?
Q. So..I've been with my husband for 11 years. Sex was never a problem, up until recently. I was young when we first met so I never paid attention to the "small" size he carried, it would satisfy me completely. Now after 3 kids I feel differently. How ...
A. 6 November 2016: Most women can't orgasm from penetration, so don't blame him, just ask to try new things and show him what feels good for you. The second you say anything like "you can't satisfy me" or "I never orgasm", he'll shut down because it'll knock his ... (read in full...)
I just found out my LDR boyfriend got another girl pregnant
Q. good day guys,I am in deep pain right now..I don't know wat to do ..I feel like am going insane..I have been dating myboyfriend for 11months now which is almost a year.He has been in school ever since we started dating DAT means I have not seen for ...
A. 6 November 2016: This would be a deal breaker for most of us. Not only did he cheat, it wasn't protected enough and she's going to have his baby - a lifelong reminder of the affair.
I don't think you should stay with him, any more. You will fall in love again an... (read in full...)
My sister in college is in a LDR spending all of her time trying to be with her boyfriend. Family is worried about her!
Q. My sister is younger than me and just started college. Just before she left for college she got a boyfriend. I've never met him but he's met my parents and they say he is very nice. Now she is at college they are about hundreds miles apart and ...
A. 6 November 2016: Not everyone wants the "college experience". She doesn't. I think if she's old enough to Ben at college, you all need to let her experience it the way she wants to - not the way you think she should.
If he's a nice guy, it's not bad that she's se... (read in full...)
I'm feeling guilty, I ran into my ex and feel like we sort of had a date. Do I tell my girlfriend?
Q. Greetings I know this is going to be a long post but please bare with me, something really weird happened to me very recently and i could really use your insight. Me and a couple of guy friends went out for a friday night but since i dont drink i ...
A. 6 November 2016: The fact you're questioning this shows you're not okay with it while you're committed to someone else. If you loved having her around just as a friend, it wouldn't feel wrong, but she is an ex you have a lot of history with and that's why it doesn't ... (read in full...)
Trust ring--what should I have engraved on it?
Q. I lied to my boyfriend, and I made many mistakes. I'm getting him a promise ring and I want it to make up for all of that, to show him he can trust me and I won't ever make the same mistakes again. What should be engraved on the ring? ...
A. 28 October 2016: A ring isn't a good idea, Hun - it's expensive, most boys don't wear rings (especially not from their girlfriend) and you probably won't be together in a few weeks/months/years (sorry, just being realistic), so you'd have wasted your money.
The b... (read in full...)
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