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| | *ndie's Thoughts's profile:I'm Andie and I'm surviving life until I can really start to live it :)
Karma does happen:
My dad was a married woman's other guy for only a few weeks (about a decade before my mum met him), then realised he wasn't okay with helping her betray her husband. His friend became her other guy, husband came home while they were at it, the guy jumped out of the window and the husband knew, so grabbed a bicycle, chased him and punched him once, going 20mph, so it knocked him out. A couple of relationships later, after getting £15,000 in debt to help a woman leave her abusive husband and getting in a relationship with her, my dad came back from a holiday with his parents and found her with another guy. |
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Think he used my coat to masturbate
Q. I recently baby sat for a 15 year old boy while his parents went out for the night. He was mainly up in his room. I came upstairs to see if he needed anything I poked my head around his door and noticed he was on his computer looking at porn. ...
A. 11 December 2016: I've re-read your post and I cringe at the "boys will be boys" excuse for anything, but especially this - it's not okay just because he's a boy.
I'd call his parents and ask if you can sit down and talk with them privately, then tell them you don'... (read in full...)
Think he used my coat to masturbate
Q. I recently baby sat for a 15 year old boy while his parents went out for the night. He was mainly up in his room. I came upstairs to see if he needed anything I poked my head around his door and noticed he was on his computer looking at porn. ...
A. 10 December 2016: I think someone needs to teach him consent and to not be creepy, but that's not something you can do. I wouldn't suggest babysitting him any more, most 15 year olds should be responsible enough to stay home alone.... (read in full...)
Is it time to leave this relationship? I'm starting to feel like a roommate or a good friend
Q. 29 F dating 29 M for approximately 1.5 years. My relationship has been rocky from the start. My boyfriend has always pushed the limit with flirting with girls or talking about them. Last month he texted a girl to send him pictures while o...
A. 10 December 2016: I think you should leave - it's not clear why you've stayed, as you don't mention love and it's been rocky since the beginning. That's not a healthy or successful relationship.... (read in full...)
I trust my boyfriend, but this girl makes me a little nervous. Opinions?
Q. My boyfriend is going out all day with his "bestfriend" who is a girl today (they've never done that before but they have hung out) and he never told me about it or what they were going to do. I found out because I looked at what he was typing o...
A. 10 December 2016: It's common to be a bit jealous, but if you can't handle that his best friend is a girl, you shouldn't be with him, I'm afraid.
Relationships are a lot of drama and hard work, you may not be ready to tackle that, if you know you're a jealous ... (read in full...)
Feelings for my late husband's brother
Q. Hey, I am in a messy situation and not sure what to do at this point. I would like to make it less complicated, and I have no clue how to proceed. My husband passed away almost over a year ago from an accident. I was fortunate enough to be lov...
A. 10 December 2016: I'm so sorry for your loss.
I don't think being with your late husband's family member is a good idea - I'm all for finding happiness and slowly moving on, but if you wouldn't have got divorced and dated the brother while your late husband ... (read in full...)
Wants to see another female but why?
Q. Hi there. My boyfriend told me that he wants to hang out with a female friend of his. He's mentioned her a bit in the past - they used to work together - but nothing more. He saw my reaction to it - I was immediately against the idea - and then he ...
A. 9 December 2016: It's respectful that he asked, but he shouldn't have to have an almost non-existent social life to keep you happy.
If she doesn't know about you, he needs to tell her. If she does, he should be able to have female friends and hang out with the... (read in full...)
Is my sexual wish too much to ask?
Q. Dear aunts, I have a gf who i love. I'm straight but a like girls to play with my arse. I just like the sensation. I'm afraid if i ask my gf to try a dildo or a strap on on me will make me less desirable for her. What do you think?...
A. 9 December 2016: I'm surprised by the answers that suggest it means you're bisexual or need to use a trans woman because she has a penis.
Many men like anal sex on themselves, it doesn't mean they want actual penises near them.
You can absolutely ask, ... (read in full...)
Is it over? Was he cheating? I suggested that we finish the relationship and he just accepted it, as if he's given up.
Q. Hi i recently started distancing myself from my bf of 2 years as we were having a lot of problems(no intimacy for 6 months been the main problem+talking/flirting to girls online i suspected).. Plus told him after a month of hardly seeing him i wa...
A. 9 December 2016: You gave up by suggesting you break up. Sure, it would be nice if he'd fought to stay together, but you didn't either. You're not teenagers, but you played a mind game and it backfired.
Time to move on, I'm afraid. In future, don't suggest ... (read in full...)
How do I reassure her that even though I cheated to be with her that I won't cheat on her?
Q. I had an affair with a girl "Kelsey" , she was girl I worked with and was going through a hard time with her family . It started out as friends , me being there for her when she needed someone to lean on. I was in a 5 year relationship with my ex. ...
A. 9 December 2016: Time.
That's it. Words won't do anything. To be fair, she still entered the affair knowing you were taken, so she's to blame too. Unfortunately for you, never being trusted by her or her family could be karma for cheating.
Just time and loyalty... (read in full...)
Why is my girlfriend crying over what another guy said when I have tried to reasure her?
Q. Few months back, we had a talk about losing weight. She did get upset over it, but it passed and we were talking normally for a month or two. Recently, a guy at school who she talked to called her fat ( either as an insult or for fun). Since we're ...
A. 9 December 2016: She's not being over-sensitive. Battling weight can be a lifelong challenge and you're not being considerate of that, either due to your age or because you've never had that issue. Have *you* suggested she loses weight? If she's only trying to l... (read in full...)
I like the boy, and I don't want to lose my friends.
Q. Hello,Im 16 years old.Me and my friends are like a close team and we are close to each other. We are really often going out and having an amazing time. Im the newest member in the "gang". They are trying to keep the "love" stuff outside of the team ...
A. 9 December 2016: I'd still suggest moving on, as friends are more important than boyfriend's at your age (and sometimes through life). If you do want to ask him out, though, I'd talk to your other friends first, to see how they'd feel and show them you're tryi... (read in full...)
I like the boy, and I don't want to lose my friends.
Q. Hello,Im 16 years old.Me and my friends are like a close team and we are close to each other. We are really often going out and having an amazing time. Im the newest member in the "gang". They are trying to keep the "love" stuff outside of the team ...
A. 8 December 2016: Can we please clarify what typ of "gang" this is?
Is it just a group of friends, or do they do things they shouldn't? (Like vandalism, intimidation, stealing, smoking, drinking, drugs, etc.)... (read in full...)
A threesome with my wife and another male was my fantasy. So why couldn't I get hard looking at my wife?
Q. How would you explain this? What I am about to say was totally MY idea, even though my wife was very into it once it got started...My wife and I were in a male friends house initiating a threesome with him...up to this point you could say it was ...
A. 7 December 2016: Pressure. It's possible your imagination wanted a threesome, but the rest of your mind wasn't so sure and limited your performance.
How do you feel about the threesome?... (read in full...)
Is this how relationships are meant to be now
Q. Wanted to message in as its been so long since I have dated or looked into starting a new relationship that im just so unsure if things im not feeling so happy about, could be in fact be me with my ways and that I will have to look at changing. I...
A. 7 December 2016: He wants sex and you're not ready yet. I think you need to talk about that now, so you know if you're on the same page or need a new date.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is turning 22 and it worries me
Q. I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 21. He is turning 22 in march and for some reason that scares me. We've been dating over a year and are very committed to eachother however I feel nervous and I don't understand why. I've never dated somebody this old ...
A. 7 December 2016: I think it's because he's an adult and you're not yet. He is at a different life stage to you and it's finally sinking in. Talk to him about it. It's possible you've realised it's not a great idea to be dating someone so much older (yet).... (read in full...)
I want to find love, but I am not sure how I should go about it?
Q. I met a guy recently and he told me I was really beautiful. He wasn't hitting on me; he was an older guy and I am 21 years old. He was just complimenting me. And when I told him I never had a bf before and I did not have one, he was shocked. He said ...
A. 7 December 2016: You've had maybe ¼ of your life - don't be afraid of being alone forever, when you've only been an adult for 3 years. Being single isn't the end of the world and you'll only seem desperate, probably choosing dodgy guys, if you don't accept being ... (read in full...)
How do I take back a stupid lie I told to my boyfriend?
Q. Hi, Let me start with saying I have been extremely stupid. I started dating my current boyfriend 1.5 years back, and wanted very badly to impress him. Unfortunately I had told him sometime back (before we started dating) that I had 2 boyfrien...
A. 7 December 2016: Wait, he asked how you could be so "stupid" to date again? He implies you're a "wh*re" in your arguments? He doesn't sound very nice, to be honest.
If you want to try to stay with him, tell him the truth, but I'd consider leaving.
Don't lie abo... (read in full...)
She says it is impossible to communicate what I did wrong
Q. Hi ALL, I need some perspective please. Long story short, a woman I have an interest in and I had an argument over an email I wrote to her. She is foreign and lives in Eastern Europe. I am American and live in the US. I wrote what I thought was an e...
A. 7 December 2016: I think you're incompatible and need to move on. It's highly possible your email came across as rude and lots of people wouldn't want to teach someone else why it was rude.
Do you have any struggles picking up on what people feel or how to behav... (read in full...)
He's become really rough and insistent about sex, is this just a phase?
Q. my bf just wants sex al the time and it is getting very difficult for me/us to lead a normal social life. He used to be very caring and loving but he is like a different person now. He is pressuring me into stuff that i really not sure i want to do ...
A. 7 December 2016: Don't do *anything* you don't want to do. If he gets angry, leave. A good boyfriend will *never* pressure you into anything, nor will they get angry if you don't want to do something.
Most guys are not abusive jerks, but this one is. Please c... (read in full...)
I'm concerned about his relationship with his sister-in-law! Why be secretive with texting each other when I'm not around and defensive if nothing happened?
Q. New to the site! My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and in June, bought a home together. He isn't very close to his family members(some past issues I suppose) but since I've been in his life, he's made a lot more effort to have f...
A. 7 December 2016: I think you've just bought a house with someone you don't know well enough and don't trust.
I think you need couples therapy and to slow things down.... (read in full...)
Is casual sex possible without emotion?
Q. Is sex without emotions possible? I have only had two relations ships one long term since I was 20-26 and another one short brief 7 months ago- I grew up in a strict orthodox background that was never open to sex outside of marriage or being ...
A. 7 December 2016: If you know you can't separate the two, don't do it.
Focus on anything but men, for a while.... (read in full...)
How soon is too soon to meet
Q. We are talking online, we have many common interests, even if we are aiming for different jobs etc. We live about 2 hours away from each other and have never met in person. However, we started talking about 2 months ago and speak every day, and flir...
A. 6 December 2016: My boyfriend and I met after 2 months, *but* we had video chatted a few times beforehand, to check we were who we said we were. If you haven't B done that, you need to. Meeting (after video chatting) would be fine, at this stage, but you'd have t... (read in full...)
How can I stop being addicted to love?
Q. How can one make love not so important? It seems that I'm always thinking about love (I'm single) and thirty 32 but ever since I can remember it's always been 90 percent of my life- I've lost jobs for men - I've gotten into arguments with my family ...
A. 6 December 2016: Try to boost your happiness in the other areas and then try speed dating. Don't date seriously until you can accept being single. You don't have to love being single, just not hate it. You will find a partner, but not if you focus on men and/or ... (read in full...)
He is so shy .......
Q. I have known my boyfriend before we were a thing for about a year..he was shy at that time too..but now we are in a relationship and dates seem really awkward..I mean when he texts he's not shy but when in person he starts to blush and stays ...
A. 6 December 2016: "what can I do to make his shyness go awaw".... I understand where you're coming from, but I actually find this a little mean because it's part of his personality. I'd be very surprised if it wasn't because he really likes you and gets shy on ... (read in full...)
How can this be resolved? I don't want to be a nag but I do want to be told I'm sexy!
Q. Sometimes I like to make an effort in the bedroom and get new lingerie or something that I think is sexy. My guy just takes it off immediately without saying anything. I want to figure out a way to get my guy to communicate that he apprecia...
A. 6 December 2016: I'm all for being honest with him about wanting his opinions on your lingerie, but I think you need to stop buying them to show him you care, as it doesn't interest him.
Buy them for yourself and perhaps ask him to help you choose (though,... (read in full...)
'I have given that threesome thing a thought.'
Q. Hello. Long story short. I'm divorced and I started an affair with a colleague. She's young and energetic. She once suggested me to bring a close friend of hers -whom I know personally quite well and is like a friend to me - into our sexual relation ...
A. 6 December 2016: Society could tell me tomorrow that not sharing your partner is selfish and I still wouldn't want either of us to sleep with anyone else.
Cheating is morally wrong. Threesomes aren't. That said, they often ruin relationships and not having o... (read in full...)
Could his tongue be different?
Q. This may sound a bit of a strange thing to say but is it possible for people to have big tongues and this would affect them kissing. I've just started seeing this man and when we kissed it felt like he had a massive tongue which made kissing a bit ...
A. 5 December 2016: I'd be surprised if any answer could beat FA's. Like most body parts, they vary in size for each individual, but it could also just be kissing differently.... (read in full...)
Told him to forget it - he's married. Now I've change my mind
Q. OK, an old acquaintance, we coincidentally met in a new town, and had sex for two nights. We spent the 3days hanging out together. We parted as we went back to our respective towns. He called me for a chat everyday, claiming that he missed me. O...
A. 5 December 2016: Well, you should feel guilty because you shouldn't hook up with someone in a relationship, let alone married. If you really don't regret it at all, you should consider why and think about how you'd feel if you were the wife. Let this man go and ... (read in full...)
Anxious that my size will put him off
Q. Hello everyone, a few months back I met a man online who I immediately hit it off with. As a little bit of backstory, I'm an avid player of online games and we encountered each other over a shared Teamspeak (similar to Skype in a sense). Over tim...
A. 5 December 2016: I struggle with it a lot, but I realised I'd have to take risks and my boyfriend was that risk. As long as you've both video chatted and are careful, I don't think this should stop you :)... (read in full...)
Why does my wife come home wearing different colored panties? Is she fooling around?
Q. So I have a strange feeling that my wife may be fooling around. Whenever she goes by her GF place, she always comes home with different panties on. Am I wrong for having these thoughts that there could be something here?...
A. 5 December 2016: I think the main issue here is how you know what underwear she has on before and after going somewhere?... (read in full...)
I just found out my boyfriend's best female friend does porn to pay for college
Q. My boyfriends best friend is a girl which I've always been ok with because she was dating one of his friends and my boyfriend says that even though she is attractive, he doesn't find her attractive. however I've recently found out that she does porn ...
A. 5 December 2016: You should be able to say "I completely trust you, but it does make me a little uncomfortable". However, if you imply you don't trust her or want him to stop hanging out with her as much, then it'll drive a bigger wedge. If you trust each other... (read in full...)
I'm scared at the thought of sex and being vulnerable!
Q. Hi I'll be 18 in a few months and whilst I've been somewhat intimate with a guy, I've never had sex. Partly because I'm waiting for the right guy and the right moment and partly because I'm just scared. Im not even sure what I'm scared of. The ...
A. 5 December 2016: I was like this, but my fears faded quite a lot purely because I waited until I was in a relationship for a while first and we'd fallen in love. We also took a month to work from touching with clothes on to both being completely naked, as I was very ... (read in full...)
How can this be resolved? I don't want to be a nag but I do want to be told I'm sexy!
Q. Sometimes I like to make an effort in the bedroom and get new lingerie or something that I think is sexy. My guy just takes it off immediately without saying anything. I want to figure out a way to get my guy to communicate that he apprecia...
A. 4 December 2016: Even in LDRs compliments should be frequent. I'm in one and I know my boyfriend compliments me often.
You buy them for you, but he doesn't find them interesting or necessary, so he doesn't notice them.
Buy them to care about yourself, not to... (read in full...)
Can I trust his cousin?
Q. So, I'm dating this guy who is a year younger than me. And it's a long distance relationship, where I've never seen him before although we video chat a lot. He is kind, caring and sweet. I sometimes communicate with his favorite cousin, who is older ...
A. 4 December 2016: Also, OP, two months isn't long enough to develop love or trust online, so be cautious and don't do anything you're not completely sure of.... (read in full...)
How can this be resolved? I don't want to be a nag but I do want to be told I'm sexy!
Q. Sometimes I like to make an effort in the bedroom and get new lingerie or something that I think is sexy. My guy just takes it off immediately without saying anything. I want to figure out a way to get my guy to communicate that he apprecia...
A. 4 December 2016: I think it's because he sees you as sexiest without it, so you buy them, but he doesn't want them. You need to buy them for you, not for him, now that you know he just wants you naked. You can ask him to help you choose things, but he doesn't want ... (read in full...)
Can I trust his cousin?
Q. So, I'm dating this guy who is a year younger than me. And it's a long distance relationship, where I've never seen him before although we video chat a lot. He is kind, caring and sweet. I sometimes communicate with his favorite cousin, who is older ...
A. 4 December 2016: Okay, I'll break it down, as I'm in an LDR too and want you to understand that you may not like what I have to say. 23 years old is a big gap, so I wouldn't advise talking to him alone. When you say "close enough to his face", does that m... (read in full...)
My fiance has been offered a job in America
Q. Hi everyone Just came here for some advice really... So I been with my fiancé for eight years, we have a child together who is six, My fiancé has been offered a job but it will mean moving to America permanently, which will mean all of us goin...
A. 4 December 2016: There needs to be a lot of talking about this. You need to know: Does his whole family get health coverage from his job, even if you're not married? If so, how much coverage? Can you move there before being legally his wife? Can you ... (read in full...)
Should I meet up to talk to him after he said he didn't want to be with me anymore?
Q. I was with this boy for a few months and he basically said that he's changed so doesn't want to be with me. I dunno if I should go meet up and talk or to just let him go. I've never loved someone as much as I love him. He is my true love and he...
A. 4 December 2016: In the future, when you've been in a more mature relationship and you really get to experience true love, you'll be so glad you didn't hold on to this guy. If you meet up with him, it will only hurt you more - allow someone to break up with yo... (read in full...)
Can I trust his cousin?
Q. So, I'm dating this guy who is a year younger than me. And it's a long distance relationship, where I've never seen him before although we video chat a lot. He is kind, caring and sweet. I sometimes communicate with his favorite cousin, who is older ...
A. 3 December 2016: Do you see his face on video chat?
How far is the distance?
How long have you been dating?
How do you date each other?
How old is his cousin?
Does he know you talk to his cousin?
As long as it's friendly only and never flirty, as ... (read in full...)
I don't know whether I should take her back or not!
Q. My girlfriend is in the us at college and I'm in the uk working, we are both British and 18 and have been together for a year. She met a friend at college very soon at August time (let's call him Jim) and he was just a friend, she told me this...
A. 3 December 2016: I'd just like to add that I'm in an LDR and I would never cheat on my boyfriend, no matter how much I miss him. She is unable to do an international LDR, which is okay and understandable, but it means that you need to break up. She may be very ... (read in full...)
How do I get over this rough patch?
Q. I feel so down today. I had no one to share it with so I came on here. I guess it's just a couple of things that have got to me. I have been working full time for a year, and this December within 3 days my whole months salary has gone leaving me ...
A. 3 December 2016: Stop paying your mum's bills. I mean it; she's not appreciating it and she's not supportive of you. She needs to get a job or get benefits.
Your girlfriend doesn't need £150 for Christmas either. I don't have that much, so I'm limiting presents... (read in full...)
Like him but he has a girlfriend
Q. I've been talking to this guy for a while now. It's been going really well and then he asks me on a date. However, we didn't be go on it because I found out he has a girlfriend. I've said I can't do this and we shouldn't talk. The problem is,...
A. 3 December 2016: No, he shouldn't be doing that, but he is, which means he's happy to cheat on his girlfriend.... would you really want to be his next one?
If you continue talking to him, you'll be either his mistress (emotional cheating counts too) or you'll b... (read in full...)
I don't know whether I should take her back or not!
Q. My girlfriend is in the us at college and I'm in the uk working, we are both British and 18 and have been together for a year. She met a friend at college very soon at August time (let's call him Jim) and he was just a friend, she told me this...
A. 2 December 2016: "you need to make mistakes to learn" is true - except when it comes to cheating; you do *not* need to cheat to learn not to.
I don't think it's wise you take her back; LDRs are hard enough without one of you cheating, but it's almost impossib... (read in full...)
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