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| | *ndie's Thoughts's profile:I'm Andie and I'm surviving life until I can really start to live it :)
Karma does happen:
My dad was a married woman's other guy for only a few weeks (about a decade before my mum met him), then realised he wasn't okay with helping her betray her husband. His friend became her other guy, husband came home while they were at it, the guy jumped out of the window and the husband knew, so grabbed a bicycle, chased him and punched him once, going 20mph, so it knocked him out. A couple of relationships later, after getting £15,000 in debt to help a woman leave her abusive husband and getting in a relationship with her, my dad came back from a holiday with his parents and found her with another guy. |
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If you are a parent or a carer of special needs child can you help advise me on any of my questions ? I am not asking for experts, just parents in a similar situation
Q. My severly disabled son has to go into residential care soon . We don't want this but he is very aggressive and they need to take him in to stabilise him because he is on too many medications and they think he will be better going to school and ...
A. 27 December 2016: I'm glad you'll be getting the help you need. Having lots of questions is understandable. These cover all your bases, in my opinion, so I'd print them out (like Aunty BimBim said) and give them to the relevant people, so they can help you get the ... (read in full...)
I am having difficulty with my girlfriend's son
Q. Hi guys, im 8 months into a relationship with my girlfriend and things are goin great with us, we have such a laugh when we are together, but im having a very hard time warming to her 12 year old son who lives with her, sometimes hes fine but most ...
A. 27 December 2016: Personally, when single parents are in relationships, I think they should wait longer to move in. I'd suggest at least waiting until the beginning of 2018, to give everyone a chance to get used to each other - I don't think her son is. I'm not s... (read in full...)
Was I right to call this woman a silly old trout over her cashmere jumper?
Q. Today me my husband and my severly disabled son when into a fish a chip shop restaurant. My son got hold of one of those small squeeezy packets of sauce, (he can grab at people and throw things so we always try to sit well away from people. )We were ...
A. 27 December 2016: The thing is, you now need to let it go. No, you shouldn't have called her names and should avoid that in the future, but you did all you could to rectify the situation. Let it go and move on.... (read in full...)
No present - what should I do?
Q. My boyfriend of four years did not give me a Christmas present this year. Should I be upset? Because I am. Should I say something to him?...
A. 27 December 2016: OP means Original Poster, Anon.... (read in full...)
I can't walk away from my married guy but I can't handle the situation either
Q. I need help to deal with this situation without judgement please. I am having a relationship with my pastor. Well most would say affair but it is more than that to me. I'm 26 and a single Mum and he helped me so much and my wee girl. I ended up ...
A. 27 December 2016: If he wouldn't let you move on, he's controlling. Not only that, but the church doesn't allow affairs either, so not divorcing is BS.
I know it's hard, but you need to show your child how to behave and being with a married person is not that way... (read in full...)
No present - what should I do?
Q. My boyfriend of four years did not give me a Christmas present this year. Should I be upset? Because I am. Should I say something to him?...
A. 26 December 2016: To be fair, your birthday and Christmas are so close together that he may not have had any money left, after a necklace that was probably quite expensive.
Maybe establish with him that you'd rather just go out for a picnic or something cheap, i... (read in full...)
Was I right to call this woman a silly old trout over her cashmere jumper?
Q. Today me my husband and my severly disabled son when into a fish a chip shop restaurant. My son got hold of one of those small squeeezy packets of sauce, (he can grab at people and throw things so we always try to sit well away from people. )We were ...
A. 26 December 2016: Please calm down. I know this upset you, but you need to let go and move on. Please seek therapy for the struggle you face looking after your son, as well as your husband seeking it. Have you arranged professional assistance yet? If not, it's a good ... (read in full...)
No present - what should I do?
Q. My boyfriend of four years did not give me a Christmas present this year. Should I be upset? Because I am. Should I say something to him?...
A. 26 December 2016: Okay, but what happened? What was his explanation?... (read in full...)
No present - what should I do?
Q. My boyfriend of four years did not give me a Christmas present this year. Should I be upset? Because I am. Should I say something to him?...
A. 26 December 2016: Did you get a present? What has happened?
Honestly, not getting a present sucks a little, but I'd trade a bought present from my boyfriend to have him out of the hospital (he's been in since the 21st). We make our presents, so I wouldn't necessar... (read in full...)
Should I just move on? I don't want to be in the way of them remaking a family.
Q. I'm wondering if I'm being over sensitive to my boyfriend's need to "play family" with his ex and his children. Every week it seems, on his week's with the kids, she's over for some reason or another. He kept the house, she cheated on him a...
A. 25 December 2016: How old are his kids? By the age range, it seems they'd be old enough to spend time with you and him together still.
Anyway, I do think it's too hard to "compete" to be in their lives. Let go, if you've already spoken to him about it and he's dis... (read in full...)
How Long Do I Wait? Does he want a relationship?
Q. We have been talking for about 5 weeks now. We are about a 2 hours drive away from each other. We are not in a relationship, just been talking. He has already said he loves me we have sexted and we are planning on meeting up soon. I want to...
A. 25 December 2016: Honestly? 5 weeks is way too soon to be sexting and talking about "love". He's either naive, just wants a hook-up or is fairly desperate.... none are good. In future, avoid sexting until you're an actual couple, unless you only want to hook up.
... (read in full...)
Was I right to call this woman a silly old trout over her cashmere jumper?
Q. Today me my husband and my severly disabled son when into a fish a chip shop restaurant. My son got hold of one of those small squeeezy packets of sauce, (he can grab at people and throw things so we always try to sit well away from people. )We were ...
A. 25 December 2016: I think it's always a bad idea to call people names. To us, she overreacted, but the jumper could have been really important to her. It will have been very expensive and sauce stains. It could have been an early Christmas gift from someone close to ... (read in full...)
Was I right to call this woman a silly old trout over her cashmere jumper?
Q. Today me my husband and my severly disabled son when into a fish a chip shop restaurant. My son got hold of one of those small squeeezy packets of sauce, (he can grab at people and throw things so we always try to sit well away from people. )We were ...
A. 24 December 2016: She should have been more understanding, but I think you need to learn to keep your cool better. These accidents happen, you apologised and gave money for dry cleaning (but that probably stained permanently), but you mustn't call people names - ... (read in full...)
Does sending me picture of her stomach tattoo with the bottom of her breasts just visible mean she’s flirting with me?
Q. So I have a friend and we live far apart but we text a lot. I don't know her super well yet but I am getting to know her, I enjoy her company on the phone and she is kind of cute. We often send each other photos of our day to day life. We got onto ...
A. 24 December 2016: Don't flirt if you're not interested in something with her.... (read in full...)
Am I behaving like a stalker?
Q. Stalkerish or Nah? Ok so..... I'm curious as to what people think. Grateful to anyone who reads this longness.... I just want to give perspective. I dated someone for about the last 7 months..... He was great, we were great, things were coo...
A. 24 December 2016: It sounds like a nice idea, but it's too impulsive and was better avoided. Your behaviour when reacting to his distant actions was quite stalker-like (showing up uninvited, 8 texts, using a business number to catch him out when calling, etc.), so ... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to let a guy know you are a cheater?
Q. Dear Cupid,I am a firm believer if you do something to somebody it is right to return what has been done to you.I was in a relationship with this guy for years a little over some years.He would cheat,lie,and make babies on me. I would look past it ...
A. 24 December 2016: I'm disappointed you not only cheated for revenge, but did it without contraception, bringing an innocent child into the mess.
However, that's been and gone, so I just hope you never cheat again, even as revenge. If you get cheated on, be the bigg... (read in full...)
No present - what should I do?
Q. My boyfriend of four years did not give me a Christmas present this year. Should I be upset? Because I am. Should I say something to him?...
A. 24 December 2016: It's not Christmas Day yet. Also, some presents can't be wrapped or haven't been wrapped yet.
If he hasn't tomorrow, then consider asking. Be patient.... (read in full...)
Is my fiance's contact with his ex's normal? He has been married 3 times.
Q. I'm a divorced woman who was married for 27 years. I got married at 17, so I've had little relationship experience. I've been divorced for just under 2 years now. I have a boyfriend who I just said yes to marrying. What bothers me about my fian...
A. 24 December 2016: I think it's too soon over all. You were only divorced for about 6 months before dating again and he wasn't even divorced yet. Keep dating, but I still think the engagement is way too soon. He and his exes obviously get engaged and married too soon, ... (read in full...)
Is my fiance's contact with his ex's normal? He has been married 3 times.
Q. I'm a divorced woman who was married for 27 years. I got married at 17, so I've had little relationship experience. I've been divorced for just under 2 years now. I have a boyfriend who I just said yes to marrying. What bothers me about my fian...
A. 23 December 2016: This should totally concern you. You've been divorced for only two years and are already engaged again, whilst he's been divorced for a tiny 8 months and is already working on wife number 4!
OP, if you like this guy, I really think you need to ... (read in full...)
He's in a band and seems shy. Might he like me, or does he just see me as just a friend?
Q. hello i really like this boy he is in a band we met once when he invited me to watch them perform. he seemed nervous but when we talked he was calm an d when we took pictures he was so close...later in the evening he apologised for being silent c...
A. 23 December 2016: How old are you both?
You don't know if someone likes you until you've met a few more times.
How would you meet up?
Do your friends know him too?
I want to help more, but these questions are important for your safety, as well as how to p... (read in full...)
Do girls start to like guys if they spend this much time together? Or will I remain as just a friend?
Q. Hi everyone. I have question about this girl I like. Main question is does she like me? Background info about the situation. I have moved to a new country 6 months ago. I met this girl 4 months ago at a meetup. Meetup is where you go meet rand...
A. 23 December 2016: You need to ask women out before you fall too hard for them. Living with someone you have a crush on is a bad idea because you see them go on other days and, if you did get together and break up, you could be stuck living together awkwardly.
Ask h... (read in full...)
I'm not going to stop seeing my LDR Bf because a friend doesn't like him. But how do I best handle the situation?
Q. I haven't been dating my boyfriend for very long. He treats me well, loves me and cares about me. We are long distance, so most of my friends have not met him. The thing is my best friend got offended by what he posted online because he has d...
A. 23 December 2016: Like I said, as long as he's not homophobic/sexist/racist/transphobic/etc. or being nasty about people's appearances, I don't see why you shouldn't still date him. If his beliefs are just different to hers and not discriminatory, then I think she ... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to let a guy know you are a cheater?
Q. Dear Cupid,I am a firm believer if you do something to somebody it is right to return what has been done to you.I was in a relationship with this guy for years a little over some years.He would cheat,lie,and make babies on me. I would look past it ...
A. 23 December 2016: I'm wondering if (and hoping) the OP just meant "have sex" when immaturely saying "make babies". She hasn't mentioned a child and never used the word "sex". So I think it may have been her way around using the correct word, misleading some of us to ... (read in full...)
Does sending me picture of her stomach tattoo with the bottom of her breasts just visible mean she’s flirting with me?
Q. So I have a friend and we live far apart but we text a lot. I don't know her super well yet but I am getting to know her, I enjoy her company on the phone and she is kind of cute. We often send each other photos of our day to day life. We got onto ...
A. 23 December 2016: If she could have shown it without her boobs, but showed them anyway, then she's confident in sharing suggestive pictures with guys, without any relationship status. To each their own.
If you like her, ask her out.... (read in full...)
I think I may not be the only one he likes
Q. I'm in love with a guy in my school, that's university.i met him in early September.My problem is, I don't really know whether he likes me just as a friend or more than a friend. Even though he constantly tell me he likes me, holds my hands often, ...
A. 22 December 2016: This isn't love, OP; it's a crush. You're infatuated with him, but he's not being clear with you.
The things you do together are couple things, so he shouldn't be doing it with just friends.
Ask him what you are to him and if he doesn't ask y... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to let a guy know you are a cheater?
Q. Dear Cupid,I am a firm believer if you do something to somebody it is right to return what has been done to you.I was in a relationship with this guy for years a little over some years.He would cheat,lie,and make babies on me. I would look past it ...
A. 22 December 2016: You act maturely and do not cheat on anyone. You know what I'd think if someone said "I'll cheat on you if you cheat on me"? Petty. Borderline pathetic, purely because it's tit for tat - instead of just being classy and leaving with dignity, you ... (read in full...)
How common is rejection for the first ever date attempt in life?
Q. I've been doing a great deal of inner work lately, and I wonder how much it "wired" me when I was rejected the first time I ever asked someone out, at 17. It would help me to know if this is common or unusual. If you are a guy, were you or any ...
A. 22 December 2016: I'm a little unsure why, at 41 - 50, you don't realise that many, if not most, people get rejected by the first person they're interested in. It happens, it sucks, then you move on.
Have you asked others out successfully since? Had a long term rel... (read in full...)
I'm not going to stop seeing my LDR Bf because a friend doesn't like him. But how do I best handle the situation?
Q. I haven't been dating my boyfriend for very long. He treats me well, loves me and cares about me. We are long distance, so most of my friends have not met him. The thing is my best friend got offended by what he posted online because he has d...
A. 22 December 2016: If they aren't racist/sexist/homophobic/transphobic/etc. beliefs, then I can understand you not wanting to break up with him over it. I think they need to meet in person, though.
If your friend doesn't want to, don't make her. Maybe they just wo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is depressed. Is he likely to come back when he's cooled down?
Q. My boyfriend of a year dumped me because he thinks "he's too depressing" for me and he's in a bad place right now. I told him I was okay with it and I'd do anything to make him feel better if he just opened up a little, but he insisted we broke it...
A. 22 December 2016: I'd be open to talking it out, but Ben prepared for that day not to come.
My boyfriend and I both have depression, which has nearly broken us up because he feels he's lost himself and fulfilling my needs is a lot of pressure (on top of work, un... (read in full...)
I love her but don't know to what extent I love her
Q. I am facing a dilemma. Whether to marry, or to leave my girlfriend. I am inexperienced, and I need your opinion on what our relationship looks like to you, and what you think I should do. I also would like to hear what you think is important in a ...
A. 20 December 2016: If she wasn't running out of time to get married, I'd say you should marry her. However, you do not seem ready to be married yet and you should not force yourself to be.
People who have found their "true love" are not infatuated for the rest of ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's bisexual behaviour makes me want to call it quits
Q. Hi people! I'm seriously lost in a discussion with myself whether I accept it or not, but already when I'm doubting, I already know I don't... Anyhow. My girlfriend and her best friend are both bisexual and they have had a tight relationship as...
A. 20 December 2016: If they weren't making out and being sexual towards each other, I'd say it's actually alright to value your best friend so highly (with the exception of constantly prioritising her).
Just leave her; she's cheating and you don't want that.... (read in full...)
Suspicious of my friend's invitation
Q. If you have a friend who you havent seen for some years but who has made it quite clear that he wants sex with you although not exactly in those words, then it doesnt make sense to visit him in his home does it? I imagine its probably best to not v...
A. 20 December 2016: Go out for a friend date - i.e coffee, lunch, etc. Nothing romantic or sexual.
Whilst you should be able to go to his house without having sex, I think he could become frustrated at that and make you uncomfortable.... (read in full...)
I can't take any more with this man
Q. Help me please iam getting emontion abused. i have lost nearly 9 stone but he calls me fatty.wobbly and he knows iam hurt by it but laughts and carrys on.does a day go by when he never done it. I do everything for him.he dont seem to be happy unless ...
A. 20 December 2016: He can't take your kids without proving you're an unfit mother. Get help from a women's shelter about how to leave.... (read in full...)
I love her but don't know to what extent I love her
Q. I am facing a dilemma. Whether to marry, or to leave my girlfriend. I am inexperienced, and I need your opinion on what our relationship looks like to you, and what you think I should do. I also would like to hear what you think is important in a ...
A. 20 December 2016: Clearly not ready for marriage. She should marry someone who *wants* to marry her and is *ready* to be married. 22 - 25 and doesn't seem at all ready - hence the indecisiveness here. Whatever your reasons for marrying, when you know, you know -... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's bisexual behaviour makes me want to call it quits
Q. Hi people! I'm seriously lost in a discussion with myself whether I accept it or not, but already when I'm doubting, I already know I don't... Anyhow. My girlfriend and her best friend are both bisexual and they have had a tight relationship as...
A. 20 December 2016: This is cheating, not her bisexuality. She even has the guts to cheat on you in front of you because she thinks she can get away with "my bisexuality" or "she's just my bests friend".
Bisexual people don't automatically cheat because they're ... (read in full...)
Why has he turned cold?
Q. I've been friends with benefits with a guy for nearly three years. He not seen anyone else and nor have I. Over the coming months he been kissing my forehead, or holding my hand after sex. Recently we had sex and he we were talking and came over and ...
A. 20 December 2016: Ask.
In my opinion FWBs should last no longer than a year (the shorter it lasts, the better) because feelings get involved - especially when exclusively having sex for three years.
Ask him.... (read in full...)
I always end up forgiving people who offend me
Q. Hello :). I have a question. I wonder, no matter how much I get angry to those people who offend me, I always end up on forgiving them. I remember this one situation when one of my friends had a fight and to my extreme shock I was involved and I wa...
A. 20 December 2016: In my opinion everyone (except people who harm others) deserve a second chance. After that, it depends on how often they need another chance. If they constantly need more chances, it's worth considering cutting them off.... (read in full...)
I love her but don't know to what extent I love her
Q. I am facing a dilemma. Whether to marry, or to leave my girlfriend. I am inexperienced, and I need your opinion on what our relationship looks like to you, and what you think I should do. I also would like to hear what you think is important in a ...
A. 20 December 2016: OP, when you marry someone, you *both* have to be ready and want it wholeheartedly. The fact you're not sure whether to marry or break up shows that you're not ready and it's not what you want yet.
You need to let her go to find someone who is r... (read in full...)
Take a job I don't want just to keep in contact with a crush?
Q. Hi I'm Sam and I'm 17 years old. I have been working at a bar in the UK temporarily over the Christmas period. I was hoping that after this temporary spell, I would be offered the job permanently. However at the my shift last night, my boss spoke to ...
A. 19 December 2016: If there's another job available that you want, take that - never change your goals for a girl. If there isn't another job available, take the pot washer job. That said, dating colleagues is risky because it can be very awkward if you break up or if ... (read in full...)
I love her but don't know to what extent I love her
Q. I am facing a dilemma. Whether to marry, or to leave my girlfriend. I am inexperienced, and I need your opinion on what our relationship looks like to you, and what you think I should do. I also would like to hear what you think is important in a ...
A. 19 December 2016: "Whether to marry, or to leave my girlfriend" - you never marry someone when leaving is something you're considering. If you aren't 100% ready to marry her, don't. That very statement means you shouldn't be marry her and should let her go.
You'r... (read in full...)
Why does he do this to me?
Q. I've been on and off with a guy I've liked for 2 years. But we haven't had sex. I have tried everything with this guy because I really am unsure of his intentions as he has told me he likes me but nothing's changed. He doesn't meet me when he is ...
A. 19 December 2016: You haven't tried willpower and discipline.
You don't *want* a FWB, so don't offer one.
He won't block you because he *loves* watching you beg for his attention, knowing you won't keep him blocked.
You're clinging on with all you have, but h... (read in full...)
I always end up forgiving people who offend me
Q. Hello :). I have a question. I wonder, no matter how much I get angry to those people who offend me, I always end up on forgiving them. I remember this one situation when one of my friends had a fight and to my extreme shock I was involved and I wa...
A. 18 December 2016: I was severely bullied throughout my entire school life, but I knew what true sadness and loneliness felt like, so I always helped others, even if they were bullying me and went straight back to being nasty when they felt better. That's when you get ... (read in full...)
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