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| | *ndie's Thoughts's profile:I'm Andie and I'm surviving life until I can really start to live it :)
Karma does happen:
My dad was a married woman's other guy for only a few weeks (about a decade before my mum met him), then realised he wasn't okay with helping her betray her husband. His friend became her other guy, husband came home while they were at it, the guy jumped out of the window and the husband knew, so grabbed a bicycle, chased him and punched him once, going 20mph, so it knocked him out. A couple of relationships later, after getting £15,000 in debt to help a woman leave her abusive husband and getting in a relationship with her, my dad came back from a holiday with his parents and found her with another guy. |
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I'm panicking my boyfriend will cheat on a guy's trip to Cuba. How should I respond or act in this situation?
Q. My boyfriend is in Cuba for one week on a guy's trip. I am beside myself with worry that he is going to cheat. I have read that prostitutes are around every corner there and they are dirt cheap. The anxiety is hard to take. I contact him a...
A. 17 January 2017: You need therapy. You shouldn't be with anyone you don't trust, but you also don't trust anyone, so counselling is needed - as the scale of your fears is irrational.... (read in full...)
Why do I have to hunt down my vacationing boyfriend by text before he answers?
Q. I need your help. I need to know whether I should end a 3.5 year relationship. My boyfriend is traveling outside the country with family. He has been in touch by text because it's expensive to send texts and make phone calls. So his texts...
A. 17 January 2017: Maybe he's been busier the past two days, or he just wants to focus on family and will focus on you when he gets back. I know why you value texts so much, but you really need to try not to because most guys' texting habits are similar to your ... (read in full...)
Why do I have to hunt down my vacationing boyfriend by text before he answers?
Q. I need your help. I need to know whether I should end a 3.5 year relationship. My boyfriend is traveling outside the country with family. He has been in touch by text because it's expensive to send texts and make phone calls. So his texts...
A. 16 January 2017: If this guy is married, you're not his girlfriend, he's not your boyfriend and he owes you nothing. You've put yourself in this mess and you're wasting your life away on a man who will never be yours.
Either leave him (the best decision), or keep ... (read in full...)
I'm panicking my boyfriend will cheat on a guy's trip to Cuba. How should I respond or act in this situation?
Q. My boyfriend is in Cuba for one week on a guy's trip. I am beside myself with worry that he is going to cheat. I have read that prostitutes are around every corner there and they are dirt cheap. The anxiety is hard to take. I contact him a...
A. 16 January 2017: Why are you with him if you're this scared he'll cheat. Him responding constantly won't reassure you. Either trust him or break up. You need to get therapy, if you're worrying yourself silly.... (read in full...)
I get pouty when we are apart and he doesn't text!
Q. MOD NOTE: 2 Submissions combined. I'm embarrassed to even ask this question, but how often can I expect my BF to text me when we're not together? A little background- we've been together about 4 months. He's very kind, patient, considerate, an...
A. 16 January 2017: Yes, women tend to need more contact than men, but nobody should actively interrupt their work/social event to keep in fairly constant texting communication with their partner. Anyone who expects that is unreasonable and potentially needy. If t... (read in full...)
Why do I have to hunt down my vacationing boyfriend by text before he answers?
Q. I need your help. I need to know whether I should end a 3.5 year relationship. My boyfriend is traveling outside the country with family. He has been in touch by text because it's expensive to send texts and make phone calls. So his texts...
A. 16 January 2017: When travelling with family, his family are the priority. Also, hours *should* go by between texts when home because you should both have lives that are independent of each other. The only red flag I see on his part is perhaps why you're not able ... (read in full...)
Do I stay with this guy or do I leave?
Q. Hi. I am needing advice. When I was 18/19 I got engaged to my ex, we were together almost three years. I was 21 when we split. I met my current partner within three months of my ex and I splitting up (my ex cheated and got engaged to s...
A. 15 January 2017: 27 - 30 is still young, in terms of starting motherhood!
Tell him you'd like to go travelling with him. If he doesn't want to, you're probably very incompatible. He's only 22/23, which is an age where most guys (and many girls) aren't even thi... (read in full...)
His way of proposing really shocked me. Am I right to feel it was disappointing?
Q. How do I get past being disappointed by my finance's wedding proposal? So I recently turned 30 and my boyfriend couldn't get the day off from work so we celebrated the day before he took me out for dinner and drinks and we stayed out till gone mid...
A. 15 January 2017: Lots of people have birthday parties without presents; presents are thoughtful, but expecting them is materialistic.
I still think he should have done it in person, but at least you'll get to go with him to choose your ring and you can ask him ... (read in full...)
I get pouty when we are apart and he doesn't text!
Q. MOD NOTE: 2 Submissions combined. I'm embarrassed to even ask this question, but how often can I expect my BF to text me when we're not together? A little background- we've been together about 4 months. He's very kind, patient, considerate, an...
A. 15 January 2017: You'll push him away if you expect more than that, to be honest. When he's with friends, they need to be the priority, just like you are 4 times a week. Just ask for a 5 - 10 minute goodnight call, instead of texting conversations, when he's busy. ... (read in full...)
His way of proposing really shocked me. Am I right to feel it was disappointing?
Q. How do I get past being disappointed by my finance's wedding proposal? So I recently turned 30 and my boyfriend couldn't get the day off from work so we celebrated the day before he took me out for dinner and drinks and we stayed out till gone mid...
A. 15 January 2017: I think you should just say you thought the proposal was really sweet, but also want to hear his voice ask you because you've dreamed about that moment. That way, you can have a long proposal story - "he proposed to me first by _____________, then ... (read in full...)
I text my bf on an alias phone pretending to be an admirer. And he fell for it.
Q. After forgiving my cheating bf who got me and another woman pregnant 5 yrs ago, i forgave him and we are now back together for the past year. i put up with him going to spend time with his son at the other woman's house of which sometime he sleeps ...
A. 14 January 2017: Yes, you were wrong to do it, but that's over - you need to leave him.
Ditch the number. Don't trick anyone, in future. Dump the guy. Live for yourself and your child.... (read in full...)
My LDR boyfriend hasn't wanted to video chat. Does it mean that he does not miss me?
Q. So far in my LDR, I have been the one to mostly initiate video calls, though we text throughout the day. I have asked for more vid chats, shorter times, but I usually have to ask for vid chat. It wears on me that I usually have to always hint/ask....
A. 14 January 2017: A lot of men don't feel the same way women do. He may very well miss you, but not need the contact you desire.
Can I be honest? You seem to be really struggling with his needs being different and the distance between you. It appears as though y... (read in full...)
Should I listen to my heart or to my mind?
Q. Hi, i have fallen for my assistant. Its just that we are so different. We come from different strata s of society, different upbringing and different religion. We have different tastes. But we get along very well in office. Now i cant stop thinking...
A. 14 January 2017: Whichever one is saying you're too different, listen to it. Those things aren't always important, but probably are in your culture. Working well as co-workers doesn't mean you're compatible as a couple. I'd let this one go.... (read in full...)
I am worried about letting my daughter's father back into her life.
Q. Hello everyone. I'm a single mum to my beautiful 8 year old daughter and I have struggled in the past but I have always got by. I was 16 when I found out I was pregnant with her, and at the insistence of her dad, I went through with the pregnanc...
A. 14 January 2017: Ask her what she wants to do. No stranger, biologically related or not, can have her alone - especially not overnight. If she wants to meet him, make it a public outing for a couple of hours, with you present. Do that a few times, then ask if... (read in full...)
What makes a relationship different from a friendship?
Q. What makes a relationship diffrent from a friendship? I'm twenty one and my boyfriend is eighteen. At first he would call me pet names say random sweet things and say he loves me randomly and he hasn't done that for the last couple of months (we've ...
A. 13 January 2017: Sometimes we get answers we need to hear, but aren't looking for.
I wish you the best with him, but you need more than he's likely to be able to give. Either way, you'll both learn something :)... (read in full...)
What makes a relationship different from a friendship?
Q. What makes a relationship diffrent from a friendship? I'm twenty one and my boyfriend is eighteen. At first he would call me pet names say random sweet things and say he loves me randomly and he hasn't done that for the last couple of months (we've ...
A. 13 January 2017: Denizen is right; he's just a boy, essentially. If he's still 18 after 10 months together, he was either 17 when you started or only just 18 - which seems a bit wrong to me.
You are a young woman, but an adult of 3 years and he's a young man who'... (read in full...)
My previous LDR did not work. My current LDR treats me better. Based on how things are working out does this current LDR have a chance of working out for the best?
Q. My bf came down to visit me for a little while and we talked about the future. The thing is he is younger then me and much less stable then me. I guess when I started dating him, I should have walked away, but I couldn't and we fell in love. ...
A. 12 January 2017: You need to take a step back and realise that him not wanting to break up doesn't mean much. He could really like you, but that's where it should be, this early on, not love. Try putting your feet back on the ground, for now.... (read in full...)
My previous LDR did not work. My current LDR treats me better. Based on how things are working out does this current LDR have a chance of working out for the best?
Q. My bf came down to visit me for a little while and we talked about the future. The thing is he is younger then me and much less stable then me. I guess when I started dating him, I should have walked away, but I couldn't and we fell in love. ...
A. 12 January 2017: You need to be wary of saying you "love" him, though, as you're a very new couple and didn't know each other long beforehand. Be optimistic, but I would try to keep your feelings a bit more rational, not letting them run away with you.... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of our anxieties and start to date?
Q. I really like this guy I met online. We have spoken a lot and he's asked to meet me. I am extremely shy and it (has) taken me a while to get comfortable with meeting new people. Sometimes it stops me meeting people because I get so worried about ...
A. 12 January 2017: Always meet in public for dates for the first few months because being alone implies intimacy, even if you don't want to.
Have you video chatted? If not, you need to, to prove he is who he says he is.
Do not meet at his house or get in a car ... (read in full...)
My previous LDR did not work. My current LDR treats me better. Based on how things are working out does this current LDR have a chance of working out for the best?
Q. My bf came down to visit me for a little while and we talked about the future. The thing is he is younger then me and much less stable then me. I guess when I started dating him, I should have walked away, but I couldn't and we fell in love. ...
A. 11 January 2017: You just need to be realistic and see how it goes. LDRs need very specific things to thrive long-term.... (read in full...)
Can a seven year relationship be over because of a lie said 6 years ago? Am I completely in the wrong here ?
Q. My Partner [30 F] of 7 years broke up with me [32 M]for lying. She found out I met my son (1year old at the time) when I was abroad 6 years ago. Myself and my partner had just broken up at the time so I was single when abroad. I never told her I...
A. 11 January 2017: People go to school more than 10 miles from their home sometimes, so anyone in your life needs to know you will be seeing your son regularly.
Your girlfriend was abusive and manipulative, not to mention selfish. It will hurt now, but you owe it t... (read in full...)
We are five hours apart. Could it be worth it?
Q. How do i know if it's worth the pain? Me and this guy met online, we live about 4 or 5 hours away from each other, he's just coming up to very big exams... We both really, really, like each other... infact, i think im falling for him, hard and fast...
A. 11 January 2017: I'm in one. I wouldn't advise it at your age because it's too complicated. You have to be mature enough to handle a relationship *and* the messiness that comes with distance between you.
If you don't meet often, you'll fall for a fantasy, not the ... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 11 January 2017: OP, you do not love her. You don't respect her either, or you'd just let go and move on. Accept that you shouldn't be with her and make the active decision to move on.... (read in full...)
Is it normal we haven't got into a fight yet? And is it good or bad?
Q. Okay so basically I've been told by a couple of my friends that its not good my boyfriend and I haven't actual fought yet. We've been together for a little over four months, we irritate and annoy each other at points but we haven't actually...
A. 10 January 2017: By arguments, I mean little disagreements and maybe the occasional miscommunication "argument", not fights or frequent arguments.... (read in full...)
Can a seven year relationship be over because of a lie said 6 years ago? Am I completely in the wrong here ?
Q. My Partner [30 F] of 7 years broke up with me [32 M]for lying. She found out I met my son (1year old at the time) when I was abroad 6 years ago. Myself and my partner had just broken up at the time so I was single when abroad. I never told her I...
A. 10 January 2017: You need to show your child what's acceptable and what isn't - staying with an abusive person is not okay.... (read in full...)
Is it normal we haven't got into a fight yet? And is it good or bad?
Q. Okay so basically I've been told by a couple of my friends that its not good my boyfriend and I haven't actual fought yet. We've been together for a little over four months, we irritate and annoy each other at points but we haven't actually...
A. 10 January 2017: You're so new, it'd be a red flag if you've fought already - you're in the honeymoon stage! Most successful couples argue a bit, but don't fight.... (read in full...)
Do women daydream too?
Q. I have to admit, that when i see a beautiful woman, i sometimes start to daydream about her. What might happen if we got to know each other and where this may lead... Do women do this too when they see an attractive man? Please let me know a...
A. 10 January 2017: Google. It's a very unusual thing for women to want to do with a stranger.... (read in full...)
His way of proposing really shocked me. Am I right to feel it was disappointing?
Q. How do I get past being disappointed by my finance's wedding proposal? So I recently turned 30 and my boyfriend couldn't get the day off from work so we celebrated the day before he took me out for dinner and drinks and we stayed out till gone mid...
A. 10 January 2017: I don't think being asked has to be extravagant, but in person or face-to-face on Skype is a must (unless culture denies it).
Tell him you appreciate that it was cute and funny, but you'd like him to propose again in person.... (read in full...)
Do women daydream too?
Q. I have to admit, that when i see a beautiful woman, i sometimes start to daydream about her. What might happen if we got to know each other and where this may lead... Do women do this too when they see an attractive man? Please let me know a...
A. 10 January 2017: You'll need to find a fetish group for it, then, as it's not something many people would be up for without a relationship, as it's intimate and potentially vulnerable.
People are usually unable to separate their feelings from fantasies, so one o... (read in full...)
Can a seven year relationship be over because of a lie said 6 years ago? Am I completely in the wrong here ?
Q. My Partner [30 F] of 7 years broke up with me [32 M]for lying. She found out I met my son (1year old at the time) when I was abroad 6 years ago. Myself and my partner had just broken up at the time so I was single when abroad. I never told her I...
A. 10 January 2017: Please, OP, don't be selfish. Your son, regardless of who his mother is, should *always* come first.
When you have children, you have to live for them more than yourself, until they are old enough to live independently. You should *never* choose a... (read in full...)
Do women dream about male virgins too?
Q. Dear female cupids Many men dream of making love to a virgin Girl and teach her all about sex. Do women dream about male virgins too? Personally I haven't had this Kind of desire, although i lost my own virginity to another virgin. My ...
A. 10 January 2017: Lots of women would try that, if fantasies are openly talked about. The problem would be expecting them to want it outright. you have to be the one to mention it, if she doesn't, as it might not be her fantasy, but it doesn't mean no woman would try ... (read in full...)
Do women daydream too?
Q. I have to admit, that when i see a beautiful woman, i sometimes start to daydream about her. What might happen if we got to know each other and where this may lead... Do women do this too when they see an attractive man? Please let me know a...
A. 9 January 2017: In addition to my other post, I think your fantasies are private ones that you have while you're single or in the early stages of a solid relationship. The only time they're likely to become a "couple activity", i.e shared between you, is when ... (read in full...)
Do women daydream too?
Q. I have to admit, that when i see a beautiful woman, i sometimes start to daydream about her. What might happen if we got to know each other and where this may lead... Do women do this too when they see an attractive man? Please let me know a...
A. 9 January 2017: I don't think you'd find many women up for that because it seems pretty pointless - they'd have to be interested in daydreaming of you and you of them, or it wouldn't be something you could do together. That would then mean she'd probably want a ... (read in full...)
How do I make my boyfriend more comfortable with talking intimately on the phone?
Q. My boyfriend can't talk intimately over the phone, and when I do it makes him uncomfortable. Everything's great when we're face to face together but we're in a long distance relationship and spend a couple of days each month together. We've been ...
A. 9 January 2017: He won't get comfortable with it and you need to accept that, unfortunately.
My boyfriend and I are LDR and we have tried that - we found texting a bit easier, but we very, *very* rarely do it because he finds it a bit awkward and doesn't know wha... (read in full...)
I like going out with her but it's destroying my self-conference!
Q. Whenever I go out partying with my Best friend, all the boys flock to her or spend all evening telling me how hot she is. It is destroying my self confidence but I love hanging out with my friend. What to do? ...
A. 9 January 2017: Please watch a film called "The DUFF" - I think you could really relate to it.
What others think isn't important. I know its easier said than done, but ignore it; you'll lose your friend, if you don't.
I struggle with my insecurities, bu... (read in full...)
He's asked for another separation because it's hard for him that I don't trust him!
Q. I been with my husband for 15 years. About 6 years ago we briefly seperated because he started talking and texting with this girl from work. He said that it was nothing but deep inside me always screamed that it was something. We got back together ...
A. 9 January 2017: You need couples counselling or to divorce because you can't have separations in a successful, healthy marriage - you need to work through your issues together, not avoid them.... (read in full...)
My husband wants me to date other men for sex!
Q. I have been married for 17 years my husband for the past 5 year asks med to have sex with other men while we are having sex it gets him harder, should I? I have explained to him sex is more then sex to me, he says for me to go out and date then. I ...
A. 9 January 2017: No; you clearly don't want one and it would likely ruin your marriage - either because it would make him jealous in real life (fantasy is nearly always better than reality) or because you feel used and degraded. Heck, you could even fall for the new ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to last longer?
Q. M boyfriend and I are in a Long Distance Relationship. We see each other every 4-6 weeks. I've been noticing that when we have sex, he doesn't last long... no more than maybe a minute or two at most. His explanation is that because he goes without ...
A. 9 January 2017: Your problem is that you refuse to learn foreplay. He won't be able to do tons of penetration and you probably won't orgasm from it reliably because 70%+ women can't.
I wouldn't advise having sex that many times a day, especially with almost n... (read in full...)
Do women dream about male virgins too?
Q. Dear female cupids Many men dream of making love to a virgin Girl and teach her all about sex. Do women dream about male virgins too? Personally I haven't had this Kind of desire, although i lost my own virginity to another virgin. My ...
A. 9 January 2017: For once, I disagree with N91; most women wouldn't care if a guy was a virgin, unless they're only looking for a hook up or if him being a virgin at 40 is a red flag, kind of thing.
Some women like experienced men, but that doesn't mean they'd r... (read in full...)
How long does a relationship 'break' last?
Q. How long do relationship 'breaks' generally last? My fiancé has suggested two weeks but then said it could be indefinitely, I feel she is messing with my head. ...
A. 8 January 2017: If you need a break, you'll most likely be leading to a break up.
The rules of a break should be clear - i.e staying faithful, timeline, goals when getting back together, etc.
An indefinite break is a break up. A month break or more is effectiv... (read in full...)
Do women daydream too?
Q. I have to admit, that when i see a beautiful woman, i sometimes start to daydream about her. What might happen if we got to know each other and where this may lead... Do women do this too when they see an attractive man? Please let me know a...
A. 8 January 2017: Some women may, but I'd wager that most don't. People are very visual, but men tend to be the ones most likely to fantasise about someone's appearance.
Overall, women are more likely to fantasise about an erotic novel or someone they already ... (read in full...)
I think she's going to dump me because her dog loves me more than her!
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for a little while now, but she has trouble with her dog loving her... I see that the dog loves her, but she thinks the dog loves me more and dosent love her at all. Recently I have been accused of stealing her dog...
A. 7 January 2017: Just talk about it openly. If she doesn't spend more time with the dog, it will prefer others. If she can't accept that, she will struggle in life. I'm a lonely person, so my bond with my dog is strong, but I like that my boyfriend plays with him ... (read in full...)
She wants me to start wearing the pants in our relationship?!?
Q. Right, so my girlfriend told me yesterday she wants me to start wearing the pants in the relationship. I had no idea what she meant, and when I asked her she didn't really know how to explain it. Can someone here maybe explain it to me? Also, ...
A. 7 January 2017: My happiness is heavily dependent on my boyfriend (I can't work yet or go out much), so I get it. However, I also know it's not healthy to have your life revolving around someone else. You need to live individual lives. Watching series and ... (read in full...)
I'm worried that his mother will say something mean in Spanish about me!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months. So far he's has met my family but for the most part they like him. But I haven't met his mom yet (I met his younger brother and sister). She doesn't speak english well and I'm really anxious about ...
A. 7 January 2017: If you want a future with this guy, you and any children you may have will have to learn Spanish (at least enough to have half-decent conversations). Start now, by learning a few phrases: "Hello, how are you?" (and possible answers: "fine"/... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 28 October 2016: That's several months away - stop talking to her until you're over her, then just talk to her as you would talk to a brother.... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 26 October 2016: That's okay. Now you can get over her.... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 17 October 2016: That's not a bad thing because you can get over your crush. Leave it be.... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 9 October 2016: We have, OP. You need to stick with it; it may take a few months.
Talk to her less.
Treat her like a boy cousin.
Don't compliment her on her looks.
Don't be alone with her.
Don't kiss/hug/lean on each other.... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 5 October 2016: It may be legal, but they are close family members and if there's a break up, it could pull the family apart.
You don't have to stop talking to her, just don't be alone together and treat her like you would with your boy cousin. Don't flirt, d... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 4 October 2016: It means you're both acting inappropriately. If you won't block her, you need to treat her like a boy cousin, not let her lay on your chest or hold hands.
It's normal to have a crush, but it's a bad idea to allow it to continue.... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 4 October 2016: Stop talking to her for a while. Tell her you need a break and block her. This isn't going to work out, OP. You need to find someone who isn't a relative and who lives closer to you, so you can get to know them. Your cousin isn't a real person in ... (read in full...)
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