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| | *ndie's Thoughts's profile:I'm Andie and I'm surviving life until I can really start to live it :)
Karma does happen:
My dad was a married woman's other guy for only a few weeks (about a decade before my mum met him), then realised he wasn't okay with helping her betray her husband. His friend became her other guy, husband came home while they were at it, the guy jumped out of the window and the husband knew, so grabbed a bicycle, chased him and punched him once, going 20mph, so it knocked him out. A couple of relationships later, after getting £15,000 in debt to help a woman leave her abusive husband and getting in a relationship with her, my dad came back from a holiday with his parents and found her with another guy. |
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I'm a sex addict and now my boyfriend is angry and withholding sex from me
Q. Hi all. Im stuck in a situation that is difficult for me to talk about due to embarrassment. Im a sex addict and have been dating the same man for going on 5 years now. At first, our sex life was incredible. I thanked god for sending me a man that ...
A. 1 February 2017: You need a new boyfriend, OP. Staying with this one won't change anything.
What I would say also (not specifically to you, OP) is that not everyone can orgasm often, even if their partner is attentive and unselfish. However, you (OP) need a guy wh... (read in full...)
Affair with my best friend but I have a partner of 18 years and a one year old that we had after years of trying. What do I do now?
Q. I've been with my partner for 18 years I do love him and we have a one year old which we tried for years to have. But for the last 3 year I have been having an affair with my best friend who's showed me so much love , a lot more love than I seem to ...
A. 31 January 2017: Anon, punishing them like that makes you just as bad. You can't cry about being cheated on if you'd do it back, even if it's a twisted form of "revenge".... (read in full...)
Affair with my best friend but I have a partner of 18 years and a one year old that we had after years of trying. What do I do now?
Q. I've been with my partner for 18 years I do love him and we have a one year old which we tried for years to have. But for the last 3 year I have been having an affair with my best friend who's showed me so much love , a lot more love than I seem to ...
A. 30 January 2017: You have to tell him or leave. You can't stay and not tell him. I'm sorry he cheated on you before, but this is how you've made your bed, now you need to lie in it, OP.
Come clean or leave. Being cheated on was horrible, but not an excuse for reve... (read in full...)
I want a prettier girlfriend who cares about being fit and healthy. What do I need to do?
Q. I want a prettier girlfriend. I've been with mine for a few years now and it seems wrong to leave. I love her but the lack of effort (exercise counts) is making me less attracted to her. Bringing it up makes me the bad guy. What should I do?...
A. 30 January 2017: First of all, your cases as an attorney should not be won by your looks. If they are, you need to work on your brain. Secondly, "I don't think this girl would. She can't even get fit in her 20's" is such a cold way to talk about your girlfriend.... (read in full...)
Is lack of length a problem?
Q. Friends, Need a suggestion from you friends, I am from India aged 28 and getting married to a girl in next 6 months I am worried about my length of my penis, When erect its 5.5 inch. When flaccid its about 3 to 3.5 inch varying. When I do some...
A. 30 January 2017: You're penis is the average size, which is great, so don't worry. No penis size makes you unfit for marriage. Also, most women don't orgasm from penetration, so it wouldn't affect her pleasure anyway.
Stop worrying and work hard at your job :)... (read in full...)
How can I end this selfishness in my marriage?
Q. Hi guys. Im just looking for a bit of advice. Im 24 years old and I married my husband last year. Lately he has been very selfish and entitalled. Every morning he is rude and angry. He always complains about having to go to work. I am so sick and ...
A. 30 January 2017: Couples' therapy or divorce. He may be depressed, but that's no excuse to not get help for it. If he was mostly like this pre-marriage, you can't complain because he hasn't changed. However, that doesn't mean you need to be happy with it because it ... (read in full...)
Gave up my family and now he treats me badly
Q. Hello all. I'm married for 20 months now. It was a love marriage, a run-away marriage actually. My husband was the nicest man ever. So polite so caring so adorable. After I ran away from my home and few months passed he changed. He has become...
A. 30 January 2017: I'm so sorry it didn't work out and you don't deserve this abuse, so you need to divorce him. My advice below may seem a bit harsh, but it's important that you follow it:
You do know what to do, but you refuse to swallow your pride and go back to ... (read in full...)
I'm a sex addict and now my boyfriend is angry and withholding sex from me
Q. Hi all. Im stuck in a situation that is difficult for me to talk about due to embarrassment. Im a sex addict and have been dating the same man for going on 5 years now. At first, our sex life was incredible. I thanked god for sending me a man that ...
A. 30 January 2017: You're not compatible, I'm afraid. I know you love him, OP, but he's not helping you try to fix things, which means he doesn't care about doing so. He's fine with how it is and doesn't want to help with the issues you have by going to therapy ... (read in full...)
I still haven't met his teenage daughter after a year of dating and I'm tired of feeling like a mistress
Q. Hi everyone! I've been dating my BF for over a year now and he has a 14 told daughter. last year, two months into our relationship, he suddenly disappears for 2 months without even a text or a call. Although I had just started to date him, I w...
A. 30 January 2017: I'm glad it seems to be improving, but you must meet her at least 3 times before you move in with him and she's expected to live with you part-time, as she needs to be comfortable around you.... (read in full...)
He gets my hopes up talking about having kids and then changes his mind!
Q. hello all of you, I'm Lauren, I would like you all to know my name. I need some advice. I have just come out of a 16 year relationship, my now ex was a lot older than me and had his fill of life experience, married, 4 kids, divorced and th...
A. 29 January 2017: You're too busy focusing on what the men want. Sit down, alone, and think to yourself: do I want to be a mother? Regardless of who you're with, do you want to hear someone call you "mum" for the rest of your life?
If you decide you do want chi... (read in full...)
After 9 years together and 3 children our sex life remains bland. I love her. How can I find ways to interest her in oral sex?
Q. Hi, I'm 26 years old. I have a fiancé I've been with for 9 years who is also 26 years old. We have 3 beautiful kids together. My question today is, why won't my fiancé suck me off? I have literally tried everything but I cannot convince her to d...
A. 29 January 2017: Would you like to let her give you anal sex? No? Then don't expect her to do something she doesn't like.
A flavoured condom may help, but if she doesn't want to, don't expect her to.... (read in full...)
I want to move and live with my partner in Colombia but afraid of losing my job
Q. Hey There, Perhaps this is not the right platform to ask such a question, but I am going to try I am a gay person who is planning to move to Colombia in order to live with my Colombian partner. We thought that we could get married once i arri...
A. 29 January 2017: You need to do tons of research before considering it. Call workplaces. He needs a job too, before you move there.
How long have you been together and how frequent are visits?... (read in full...)
My mother in law walked in on me naked. I put some clothing on. But should I try not to be concerened? My M-in-Law wasn't bothered at all.
Q. My wife and I are currently on vacation and staying at my mother in laws house for a week. Last night my mother in law walked into my bed room as I stepped out of the the bathroom. I was completely naked. She did not seem at all bothered by ...
A. 29 January 2017: Talk to your wife about it. Do not get comfortable with it - if it happens again, say something. Perhaps she didn't realise you'd come out naked while she was there, but she should have left when she saw you.... (read in full...)
Should I give up on men? Is there such a thing as a normal guy? I want a relationship with a man.
Q. I have have asked for advice before here and wanted to come back a year later to ask maybe what I am doing wrong. I am a woman in my early 30s that has given up on love. I have only been with three men and two had a relationship with. Through t...
A. 29 January 2017: It hasn't been a year, OP. I remember seeing posts from you more recently than that. I know it will feel like that long for you, but it wasn't quite that long.
Please listen to the advice given for fulfilling your own life before looking for a ma... (read in full...)
I am over chasing men. But without a man in my life, then how can I be happy?
Q. It seems since I have been 17 years old I have been chasing men. 13 years later an two bad relatiosnhios and a broken home(my parents are miserable together) I have had enough. A little back story ( since my early twenties I have done everythi...
A. 29 January 2017: I can only keep giving you the same advice: hobbies, friendships, job, etc.
Do you go to the gym/swimming? If not, consider it.
Do you volunteer anywhere? If not, do.
Do you have a hobby? If not, find a pottery club, tennis club, etc.
If ... (read in full...)
I kissed Max on the cheek and Mark thinks I cheated!
Q. Hi, me and this boy have known each other for around 3 years now. Lets say his name is mark, me and mark have been quite good mates. The other day he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. I told him not to tell anyone we were together ...
A. 28 January 2017: Please don't take this the wrong way, OP, but none of you are mature enough for a relationship. This is playground drama. Daring to kiss other people on the lips or cheek isn't something people do when they're mature enough to date. Your friend is ... (read in full...)
Affair with my best friend but I have a partner of 18 years and a one year old that we had after years of trying. What do I do now?
Q. I've been with my partner for 18 years I do love him and we have a one year old which we tried for years to have. But for the last 3 year I have been having an affair with my best friend who's showed me so much love , a lot more love than I seem to ...
A. 28 January 2017: YCBS has a brilliant point that those in affairs often forget:
Part of the reason many people get so emotionally attached to their lover is because the affair makes it passionate in ways that a long-term relationship can't be. Once it becomes ... (read in full...)
I feel I am just not good enough for anything, its affecting my life and future!
Q. How do I get over this overwhelming feeling that I'm just not good enough? I'm going to be 18 this year and I'm just sick of always feeling this way about everything. 1) I'm the middle child in my family, and this may sound really cliqué but it's...
A. 28 January 2017: 1) I'm sorry you feel neglected. It's not easy wanting attention from your parents - believe me, I only have a younger brother and I see the major favouritism. However, it's possible your parents see you as more capable or closed off than your ... (read in full...)
He has told me he no longer loves me ... but we have been happier than ever.
Q. I am having some troubles with my fiancé. I am 22 years old and we have been together for four years now, we also live together and have a mortgage on our own house. Over the pst few months he keeps saying things like "I need some space" and "I wa...
A. 28 January 2017: Break off the engagement, for starters. If this is going to work, you need to back up off the marriage train and get couples' counselling.
I think he's struggling to be upfront about not wanting to stay together, as you've invested in a joint mo... (read in full...)
When will he tell me he loves me, I don't want to say it first this time?
Q. When can I expect my boyfriend to tell me he loves me? What are some signs that will indicate that he feels that way? (even if not saying it) I'm well on my way to falling in love with him, but don't want to say it first this time. I have sai...
A. 28 January 2017: How long have you been together? If it's less than 3 months, I think it's being rushed.
Just because you've said it first before doesn't mean that's what made it go wrong. Be patient and just enjoy the present. Make sure you treat each other we... (read in full...)
I don't want to have a relationship with him but I'd like him as a friend.
Q. Me and my ex (who i've known my entire life) split up a year ago because he started to treat me bad and was showing signs of unfaithfulness. However, a year on me and him were supposedly over the relationship and he requested that we be friends. We ...
A. 28 January 2017: Why would you want "a manipulative arrogant pig" as a friend? You don't; you just think you do because he's familiar. You wouldn't want him as your friend if he was a stranger and you knew he was so awful, so don't cave now - he clearly wants a ... (read in full...)
Affair with my best friend but I have a partner of 18 years and a one year old that we had after years of trying. What do I do now?
Q. I've been with my partner for 18 years I do love him and we have a one year old which we tried for years to have. But for the last 3 year I have been having an affair with my best friend who's showed me so much love , a lot more love than I seem to ...
A. 28 January 2017: You've already broken up your family by cheating. What example are you setting your child?
You can't keep doing this, OP. Get counselling and decide, but do not restart the affair.... (read in full...)
I'm a sex addict and now my boyfriend is angry and withholding sex from me
Q. Hi all. Im stuck in a situation that is difficult for me to talk about due to embarrassment. Im a sex addict and have been dating the same man for going on 5 years now. At first, our sex life was incredible. I thanked god for sending me a man that ...
A. 28 January 2017: You need therapy for sex addiction and you need couples counselling because the way he's handling it is not fair - but he also shouldn't have sex with you if he's not in the mood to.... (read in full...)
Having problems with my Aunt. Should I tell my dad about this?
Q. i've been posting several questions and for some reason i've been having endless number of dilemmas... At first i didnt know how to ask my parents for permission for a day out to celebrate my birthday and chinese new year (CNY). Eventually i a...
A. 28 January 2017: You are almost 18, but are acting like a 14 year old, talking about chores you do. To be honest, it may be your dad's house and money, but she didn't have to be your guardian. Not only that, but you're a young adult who should do those things, ... (read in full...)
Do cheating married men usually have more than one mistress?
Q. Do married men who cheat, cheat with more than one mistress at a time? Or do some men stay with just one? I am interested in everybody weighing in with their opinions. ...
A. 28 January 2017: Some stay with one, some have many one night stands, but either way it's cheating.
If you're the poster EyesWideOpen thinks, you need to stop pondering the variants and just leave.... (read in full...)
He is much older but I want to have sex with him
Q. I knew a guy at work. I'm 22 he is 41. A very sexy man. Do u think he will have something with me after sex. We decided to be friends with benefits. He is in a relationship with a 31 years old . We planned to have sex this weekend. Do you think is ...
A. 28 January 2017: *he has a girlfriend and a decent person would stay away from someone in a relationship.... (read in full...)
I know we can solve any problems but he just acts distant!
Q. Hi I really need some male opinion on this, I was friends with this guy 3 years ago we started having sex without admitting that we were in a relationship which was what we both wanted at that time ( though it seemed like we had feelings for each...
A. 28 January 2017: You want more than he does and ignoring that will prolong the issue. He doesn't want a relationship with you - please stop trying to convince yourself otherwise.... (read in full...)
I hid a recorder and heard breathing, is he cheating or watching porn?
Q. Hello Everyone, I have a unique issue. I don't trust my husband. For varies reasons. Alot of people thought I should hire a Detective. I really don't have the money for that. A friend of mine suggested I get a voice recorder and set it in the m...
A. 28 January 2017: Stop saying "I love him" as though it means you should stay. If you want to be happy, you need to leave. If you don't leave, you don't really want to be happy.
Do you not want to be with someone who loves you back? If not, stay with this guy. If ... (read in full...)
He is much older but I want to have sex with him
Q. I knew a guy at work. I'm 22 he is 41. A very sexy man. Do u think he will have something with me after sex. We decided to be friends with benefits. He is in a relationship with a 31 years old . We planned to have sex this weekend. Do you think is ...
A. 28 January 2017: He hasn't a girlfriend, so if you're a decent person, you won't have anything to do with him. He may be handsome, but he has an ugly personality. You know he's in a relationship, so don't be a nasty person and help him cheat by having sexual contact ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend pathetic? Or just stuck in his life at the moment?
Q. Ok, so...my boyfriend's truck broke down this past summer and I got a car about two or three months after. He could have got another by now had he saved better but idk. He spends his money on weed mostly and his phone bill and car insurance bill ...
A. 27 January 2017: Personally, I think taking drugs recreationally is pathetic or irresponsible, but to each their own.
You need to stop paying for anything for him, though. He won't change at all, but especially not if you keep doing everything for him.... (read in full...)
Could her actions in bathroom indicate that she cheated?
Q. My wife got really drunk last night and started a fight then went and douched her vag and left the bottle on the counter on accident. Now swears up and down she didn't cheat and says I'm in the wrong for accusing here. Any thoughts?...
A. 27 January 2017: Surely this isn't the only reason you think she cheated?... (read in full...)
I feel I have lost my future ....
Q. Last week i split with my boyfriend of 2 years . Yesterday my friend shocked me with some news , she joined a dating site for single parents as she is one, i helped her set up her account and started looking at profiles and thats when i saw my now ...
A. 27 January 2017: Thing is, you'll always make excuses for why you can't do it. An adoptee may never know their bio parents, but love and therapy can still help them through it - and you.
If you still want to be a mother, make the steps towards being one. Get into... (read in full...)
I hid a recorder and heard breathing, is he cheating or watching porn?
Q. Hello Everyone, I have a unique issue. I don't trust my husband. For varies reasons. Alot of people thought I should hire a Detective. I really don't have the money for that. A friend of mine suggested I get a voice recorder and set it in the m...
A. 27 January 2017: OP, love means nothing without trust. I know you love him, but the only reason you stay is because you enjoy monitoring him and trying to catch him out. You have no reason to stay because you know he won't change.
This is a horrible situatio... (read in full...)
I feel I have lost my future ....
Q. Last week i split with my boyfriend of 2 years . Yesterday my friend shocked me with some news , she joined a dating site for single parents as she is one, i helped her set up her account and started looking at profiles and thats when i saw my now ...
A. 27 January 2017: First of all, it's never too late to have kids (before you're 70). Adoption/fostering is nearly always an option and you have that maternal desire, why does it have to be a blood relative, instead of a child already alive who needs a great ... (read in full...)
8 years ago my birth brother wasn't interested, now I've found him on facebook and want to contact him.
Q. I accidentally found my birth brother on facebook a few days ago and I don't know if I should contact him or what I would even say to not freak him out. My mother gave him up for adoption 30 years ago and though we did get in touch with him 8 years ...
A. 27 January 2017: As nice as it would be to send a letter, I think it would feel like harassment to him, if he's already said no to contact and you've dug up his private information (address) to send a letter he doesn't want.
I really feel for all of you, but he m... (read in full...)
How do I tell my parents about his age and past?
Q. I need some advice on how to talk to my parents. I'm 23 and an only child. I'm very close to my parents and I know they love me very much. Ive always been a good kid and never really have my parents any trouble. I love out of town about 7 hou...
A. 27 January 2017: If you told me before, I wouldn't be happy because a guy his age shouldn't see someone your age as dateable and I think it's creepy that he would, as though women closer to his own age have noticed something about him worth avoiding. He should w... (read in full...)
He gave me deadline to talk to my ex and when things didn't work out he ended things with me
Q. I need help to figure out who is the wrong one here. I'm 39 divorced and have a 10 years old daughter. My relationship with my ex is peaceful and it's just because we have a child together. I started dating for the first time, 3 years after divorce, ...
A. 27 January 2017: Never let anyone stop your daughter seeing her dad, if he's not a dangerous person. I am very disappointed you thought it was okay to do that, especially for a stranger. I know you may be lonely, but this was not love and you're right that it wa... (read in full...)
I hid a recorder and heard breathing, is he cheating or watching porn?
Q. Hello Everyone, I have a unique issue. I don't trust my husband. For varies reasons. Alot of people thought I should hire a Detective. I really don't have the money for that. A friend of mine suggested I get a voice recorder and set it in the m...
A. 27 January 2017: This isn't a unique issue. If you don't trust him, leave or get marriage counselling because he can never prove it if he isn't cheating.
The recording could have been porn, but you'll never know. If he's innocent, *you* can't be trusted for plac... (read in full...)
He left me because I wouldn't have sex with him.
Q. . my partner left me. because i dnt want sex with him before marriage. but he want. thats why he leave me. he switched off his phone. but i love him. . i want to talk to him. i feel alone without him. i love him. i want to die.plz help me....
A. 27 January 2017: Never be with someone you feel you'll die without - it's not healthy to feel that way about someone. You will be okay and find someone else.
Well done for not giving in to him. Waiting for sex is a good idea in your culture and you need to find ... (read in full...)
Did my words really crush his wish to marry me? Or was he looking for an excuse to break up, and blame me, for his own reasons?
Q. I met a guy on dating site he is from Europe and I'm from Africa. We met in person 3 times, he met my family twice and its been 19 months since we are in a relationship. Before 4 months he gave me an engagement ring and I accept we have differe...
A. 26 January 2017: Please do not marry him. You barely know each other and he is the one being rude. He's rushing things and trying to manipulate you to move to his country, even though you don't want to. He's even using your health to try to force you into it.
... (read in full...)
Having problems with my Aunt. Should I tell my dad about this?
Q. i've been posting several questions and for some reason i've been having endless number of dilemmas... At first i didnt know how to ask my parents for permission for a day out to celebrate my birthday and chinese new year (CNY). Eventually i a...
A. 26 January 2017: You've already told him. He's surprised by it and told you not to take it personally. Your aunt has allowed you to live with her for a long time, so that you could study abroad.
I think you keep having these issues (boyfriend, grades, dad calling ... (read in full...)
Do you think she is too young to get married ? we live together.
Q. My gf and I will be having our second anniversary in march. I'm know that she is he girl for me and she has told me that she wants to marry me. She's only 23. We live together in a rented apartment, we pay bills and both work. Do you think she ...
A. 26 January 2017: I don't necessarily think she's too young, per se, but I wouldn't advise it this early on at her age, as she'll change a lot in the next few years. You're quite a bit older than her and I think you need to wait a year or more before getting engaged, ... (read in full...)
8 years ago my birth brother wasn't interested, now I've found him on facebook and want to contact him.
Q. I accidentally found my birth brother on facebook a few days ago and I don't know if I should contact him or what I would even say to not freak him out. My mother gave him up for adoption 30 years ago and though we did get in touch with him 8 years ...
A. 26 January 2017: He's much older than you and would have been able to search for you on Facebook or through an agency and has decided not to. I know it's hard, but I think you need to respect his decision and leave him be.... (read in full...)
Communication issues with LDR boyfriend. Is it normal not to talk every day?
Q. I've been having issues w/communication frequency and attention w/my bf. We met online and have met in person a couple times. He came up for almost 2 weeks almost a month ago and everything is always amazing w/us when we are physically together ...
A. 25 January 2017: You're not cut out for an LDR and you're not compatible because he doesn't need the same amount of contact with you - it doesn't mean he doesn't like you the same way.
That said, you're not compatible and you need someone local.... (read in full...)
Communication issues with LDR boyfriend. Is it normal not to talk every day?
Q. I've been having issues w/communication frequency and attention w/my bf. We met online and have met in person a couple times. He came up for almost 2 weeks almost a month ago and everything is always amazing w/us when we are physically together ...
A. 24 January 2017: I don't think either of you are cut out for an LDR, as you've posted quite a few times about how it's not working, particularly regarding his communication needs differing from yours.
Not all LDRs work - most don't. You seem to have too much of ... (read in full...)
I still haven't met his teenage daughter after a year of dating and I'm tired of feeling like a mistress
Q. Hi everyone! I've been dating my BF for over a year now and he has a 14 told daughter. last year, two months into our relationship, he suddenly disappears for 2 months without even a text or a call. Although I had just started to date him, I w...
A. 31 December 2016: Personally, I wouldn't stay. I don't think he needs to get strict with his daughter, but I think he's probably not communicated with her very well, so she feels betrayed and confused. What kind of arrangement does he have with her mother?
I thi... (read in full...)
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