Like what
she writes?
... Add *ndie's Thoughts to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *ndie's Thoughts a private message | | *ndie's Thoughts's Ratings | |
| | *ndie's Thoughts's profile:I'm Andie and I'm surviving life until I can really start to live it :)
Karma does happen:
My dad was a married woman's other guy for only a few weeks (about a decade before my mum met him), then realised he wasn't okay with helping her betray her husband. His friend became her other guy, husband came home while they were at it, the guy jumped out of the window and the husband knew, so grabbed a bicycle, chased him and punched him once, going 20mph, so it knocked him out. A couple of relationships later, after getting £15,000 in debt to help a woman leave her abusive husband and getting in a relationship with her, my dad came back from a holiday with his parents and found her with another guy. |
|
Is a man without a big wallet a deal breaker for you?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have recently met a great man. We've been dating for a few months but we have met each other's parents because we are serious about each other. Recently though, my worries have been our financial status. He is a hard working chef a...
A. 28 July 2017: I think you've jumped ship because you don't like him enough. Lots of people can only meet once a week, until they get more serious.
He doesn't earn enough for you, then he doesn't have enough time for you because he's working hard to earn the... (read in full...)
I don't want to panic in the future about oral sex performed on me, advice please?
Q. Hi I'm an 18 y/o girl and lost my virginity earlier this year. It was great, and the foreplay was even better, except as he was kissing his way down there I was pulling him back up. I told him I wasn't comfortable with him going down on me, like I ...
A. 22 July 2017: PH balanced is BS because nobody's PH levels are the same. It's good for skin, but not for genitals - no soap is needed down there, even ones marketed as "downstairs soap". Just give it a good rinse in the shower and you're good to go. If a guy ... (read in full...)
I'm lost in feelings about my cousin. What do I do?
Q. Well as my title states I'm lost on my feelings about my cousin. It first started out when we were kids and we were both very close. Then we both learned out sex. We experimented quite a bit. To tell you the truth it made us even closer. From there ...
A. 20 July 2017: It would most likely destroy your family's relationship if you got together as adults, moreso if you broke up.
Unless you're from (and still living in) a country where cousin relationships are common, it's a bad idea.
Please move on.... (read in full...)
think they are way too secretive and just honestly don't want them anywhere near each other!
Q. Okay so before me and my bf were dating he had a crush on my best friend but nothing ever happened because he was actually dating someone else. We winded up dating about a yr later. We were kind of like a trio before our romance started but as time...
A. 16 July 2017: "I basically cut their relationship off bc they were way too close for my liking even though they considered each other best friends" - that's controlling and not your call. Do you know one of the first things abusers do to their victims? Separate ... (read in full...)
How do I find out if he's in contact with my colleagues?
Q. I used to work with a bloke and have texted him a few times, he doesn't respond and yet I sense that he is in contact with other people he worked with but not me. Before he left he made out that he wanted to keep in touch but instead ignores me ...
A. 16 July 2017: You're in your 40s, so I think it's time to stop doing adolescent-like investigations. If he hasn't replied, he doesn't want to. He was polite enough to let you down easy before he left, but you're not getting the hint.
Please, OP, let this go.... (read in full...)
Why would he lie about who he is?
Q. I met this guy online and we've been talking for six months now. I'm in the US and he's in Canada. We ve been texting and video chatting almost every day and he says that he's falling for me, I'm his dream girl and he wants me to be his girlfriend. ...
A. 15 July 2017: More important question: why haven't you dropped him already?
You know he's bad news and lying, so block him and find someone who isn't.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex wife still comes into the house every week
Q. My boyfriend of a year is divorced three years and his ex wife comes into his house with their High School children to collect any things they have left there when hes at work. She comes in with them and into the lounge and kitchen etc and has a ...
A. 15 July 2017: The thing here is "his house". Unless you live there too, it's his and he is making do with the situation. It's not ideal, but he doesn't want to rock the boat. Whether that's right, wrong, suspicious or reasonable, it's up to him and (in the nicest ... (read in full...)
Should I let the children meet?
Q. My question has a little bit of history behind it. So about eight years ago I was at the eight month mark dating a boyfriend when I was in my early twenties and he cheated on me with his best female friend so we broke up and a few weeks later I ...
A. 13 July 2017: It depends how safe it is to do so. It's not the siblings' fault you chose two irresponsible flakes to be her possible father and why on earth did you think revenge sex (sleeping with his best friend's boyfriend) didn't make you just as bad?
Anywa... (read in full...)
Relics of the past are starting to get to me
Q. When divorced, should one get rid of souvenirs from the honeymoon, and the rings? I'm in a serious relationship with a divorced man. He still has the wedding rings (says he will sell them, but nothing has been done still), and he often wears t-sh...
A. 12 July 2017: How did it end? I'm sentimental, so unless a relationship was abusive or ended really badly, I would probably keep a few things that were important to me or had good memories attached. Rings, postcards, t-shirts, a few photos (if they had an impo... (read in full...)
Will a guy wait for sex?
Q. How long will men wait to have sex? I am 31 and I have had only two boyfriends - I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder and it's hard for me to be intimate because I always fear catching diseases. I am always mostly been celibate because of ...
A. 11 July 2017: Stay on birth control, always use condoms and both of you get tested before having sexual contact.... (read in full...)
Is his request weird or not?
Q. So lemme know if this is weird or not. My boyfriend has been serious/joking with me about if I we had kids, that he'd want to drink my breast milk from my boobs. I shudder at the thought, and I can only imagine the issues women have with their ...
A. 10 July 2017: It's not perverted, but it's not common either - at least not verbalised. To each their own, but I would feel very uncomfortable with anyone telling me they breastfeed their partner, let alone my boyfriend asking for it! I think the problem you ... (read in full...)
Why won't he do what he used to offer me in bed?
Q. Basically, me and my partner got together in 2012. We're engaged now and have two kids so our relationship is serious. I'm 23 and he's 27. When we met we did start off at friends with benefits for about 6 months before becoming bf gf. Anyway, in the ...
A. 10 July 2017: I'm sorry, OP. You need to get him to move out, get custody or your children and get child support established.
Please take longer before risking pregnancy or any commitment, in future. You deserve a decent boyfriend and your children deserve ... (read in full...)
Why won't he do what he used to offer me in bed?
Q. Basically, me and my partner got together in 2012. We're engaged now and have two kids so our relationship is serious. I'm 23 and he's 27. When we met we did start off at friends with benefits for about 6 months before becoming bf gf. Anyway, in the ...
A. 8 July 2017: If it's smell or taste, showering beforehand and using a dental dam could help, but if he just doesn't feel comfortable with it any more, then you need to respect that.
You *can* live without any sex, you just don't want to, which is okay. Ho... (read in full...)
Why is everyone sceptical about a 'friends with benefits' arrangement?
Q. So a while back me and my friend had sex a couple of times. We actually live in a shared house with other people, although they don't know that anything happened between us. We had known each other for about a year before this happened, and had ...
A. 5 July 2017: FWBs rarely work short-term, let alone long-term. They are based on selfishness without emotional commitment. Most FWBs end badly, usually hurting someone in the process. They have a bad reputation for good reason.
It's totally okay to be in one, ... (read in full...)
Does this mean he just wants casual sex?
Q. There's this guy who used to work with my dad, who's a few year younger than me but we seemed to get on. Every time I went into his work (a pub) he seemed to be having the usual barman banter and fun with me (sometimes he'd go a little further ...
A. 5 July 2017: Yeah, that's all he wants. I'd suggest giving it a miss, though - he sounds like you'd be a notch on his bedpost, not an equal partner he should pleasure too.... (read in full...)
My partner promises he'll be around for my son and then disappears. This is the 4th time he's done this
Q. My partner has disappeared for the 4 time now after promising my son he'll be around n that how can I tell my don that his left again n the only thing I got was that his sorry dose it mean that his left me for good or his he playing away ...
A. 4 July 2017: Why are you letting him do this? Cut him off. If he's your son's father, get full custody and child support, if you haven't already. Get visitation set up and don't allow him in on days that aren't his.
If he isn't the father of your son, dump him... (read in full...)
She says he wants to groom me. What is that?
Q. What does it mean when a man is grooming a women? What is it he is grooming her for? Is this a form of manipulation if so then why? I was seeing n (and) (sic) talking lots to with a guy a really like and I left cause he beat his ex' others say. ...
A. 4 July 2017: You could Google it?
It's usually used when talking about vulnerable people being gradually manipulated into trusting someone they shouldn't and will ultimately be encouraged to do things they would probably have declined had they not been cha... (read in full...)
I want more from my friend's girlfriend.
Q. why do people have friends and when you talk to them and you say you love them and I got a friend he got's a girl friend and I know them for quit some time they are in a relationship and me and my friend his girlfriend are friends put I would love ...
A. 3 July 2017: OP, we are telling you to let go. Move on; you're obsessing and she's not interested! Do not go after someone who isn't single! Don't wait either, she doesn't want to be with you, OP!... (read in full...)
He won't recognise my need for marriage and a child
Q. I have been with my LT partner for nine years. Lots of my friends who have been with their partners for about 3-4 are getting married and having children. My partner had a big depression spell so is recovering from that before we do those things but ...
A. 1 July 2017: When was the last time you had a discussion about what you both want for your futures - not just "marriage and babies, yay or nay?", but overall goals?
He needs to mentally recover because having kids takes a major toll on even the healthie... (read in full...)
What's going on? I am confused why my partner is now an issue.
Q. I need some objective clarity. So here goes. When we were teens, say 16 years ago, he had a major crush on me and we went out a few times. I never reciprocated because I guess there weren't any feelings there, and I distanced myself from him. He ...
A. 1 July 2017: Your partner should be an issue. You've been flirting with someone who isn't your partner - did you tell him that much? "By the way, I've been flirting with that friend, is that okay?"
The guy expected more to come of it. You didn't set enough b... (read in full...)
I want more from my friend's girlfriend.
Q. why do people have friends and when you talk to them and you say you love them and I got a friend he got's a girl friend and I know them for quit some time they are in a relationship and me and my friend his girlfriend are friends put I would love ...
A. 1 July 2017: OP, you are in your 50s. You know this woman is not single and you need to find someone who is. Do not risk your friendships and don't go after someone else's girlfriend.... (read in full...)
He lied to my face, only admitted it after I told him I had seen proof
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for two years. We broke up for about a month or so in between, in which he admitted to kissing a girl. That's it he says.I don't care about any of that, we were broken up. However, I found a condom in his backpack. We ...
A. 1 July 2017: First of all, until you want to get pregnant, you *should* be using condoms.
Secondly, this all sound s like unnecessary drama and I really think you should break up. No crying, no moving in, no excuses - be single and find a better guy in a few... (read in full...)
Is a man without a big wallet a deal breaker for you?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have recently met a great man. We've been dating for a few months but we have met each other's parents because we are serious about each other. Recently though, my worries have been our financial status. He is a hard working chef a...
A. 1 July 2017: Would you rather be in a happy relationship with enough to get by or an unhappy one with money you could never spend all of?
Personally, having lots of money would be great, but love is much more important to me than looking for someone who coul... (read in full...)
Snapchat app question
Q. Hi. This is a relationship question but I'll appreciate help because I'm paranoid right now. This new snapchat update is really creepy. I updated my app 10 days ago but did NOT access the map feature or settings. I continued using the app as usual...
A. 1 July 2017: We can't answer this. You need to ask an app forum or the company customer service advisor.... (read in full...)
Would you feel left out if your comments on social media were not commented on?
Q. Would you feel left out if work colleagues commented on on everyones social media posts but yours? Why/why not? I know it's stupid butsocial media is part of life now. Feel unwanted....
A. 1 July 2017: Please seek therapy. You're too old to have this issue. This is something that is understandable for insecure teens, but you're a fully grown adult. I understand why you want to feel included; that's ageless, but social media isn't worth anything. ... (read in full...)
Caught him watching porn
Q. I caught my husband watching father daughter porn twice now is this normal he denied it and got very upset....
A. 27 June 2017: It's all faked and I'm sure many watch it, but it would make me uncomfortable. It's up to you what you do.... (read in full...)
Am I that ugly that he will reject me?
Q. This boy I really like makes me super wet every time i think about him. I like him for his personality, He is the most sweetest smartest funniest boy I ever met. We are just friend's but I really want to be more than that. But I know that won't ...
A. 27 June 2017: Work on the inside. Be kind, volunteer, focus on school, etc.
It is highly unlikely you are "ugly". However, if people say you are an "eh" person on the inside, perhaps you need to improve that for your future.
Also, getting "wet" by thinkin... (read in full...)
Boyfriend did nothing for me on my 21st birthday and says I'm stupid if I expect things to be romantic
Q. so i dont want to sound like a nag or like im being selfish but here it is. 25th june was my 21st birthday i had a meal and a night out planned. on the 24th my boyfriend didnt want to spend it with me but i told him if he doesnt try its over bec...
A. 26 June 2017: OP, why are you with a jerk? You can't really complain if you're choosing to stay with him. Leave, permanently.... (read in full...)
I'm worried that once my LDR boyfriend gets his own place, his female friend might try to make a move. I know she likes him!
Q. I am in a long distance relationship with an amazing guy. We have know each other for 3 years and are planning to soon meet and start a future/family together. He is the kind of person that I call my best friend and soulmates. He is my person and I ...
A. 26 June 2017: You're old enough to have met within the first year, not 3 years. You also can't move in or start a family after the first few meet ups. This is a fantasy. I'm in an LDR and have been for 2½ years. We met within a few months and we were only 19... (read in full...)
My partner will not admit that she uses a vibrator and its making me feel inadquate
Q. I've recently discovered that my partner if 6 years is secretly using a vibrator when she thinks I'm asleep. This has been ongoing now for 5 months and every time I ask her she becomes very angry and denial sets in. We have a very open relationship ...
A. 26 June 2017: Just drop it. She's allowed to masturbate without you. She doesn't have to tell you she does it, just like you don't have to tell her if you do it. Look online with her, *without* mentioning her vibrator(!), and see if you can find things to e... (read in full...)
I want to seduce my sister's friend
Q. My sister's friend has come to stay for a while for studying. The problem is that she beautiful. She is 24 and I am 18. I want to have sex with her when every one goes to work. The problem is that I am afraid to seduce her. What should I do to have ...
A. 25 June 2017: You shouldn't. You want to use her - it's immature and cruel. Hopefully, she'll see that, if you try flirting with her, and turn you down.
Masturbate alone to deal with your sex drive, but don't go near her.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants to wait but I'm frustrated
Q. My girlfriend doesn't want to have sex until she is married. She is a virgin. I am frustrated telling her how important sex is in relationship and how deeply emotionally we can be connected. She even used to give her ex bf liberty to have sex with...
A. 25 June 2017: Massages while clothed, but no intimate areas!
OP, you're treading a thin line because most intimacy can lead to things getting carried away. I don't think you're a good fit for each other because you do want sexual things and she doesn't.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't appreciate all that I do for him
Q. I'm wondering if I can get any help and advice. My boyfriend and I, have been together since January. We met on tinder and have been a strong unit since. He had a good-ish paying job, a nice car, a very sweet and cheeky nature, and is just plain ha...
A. 25 June 2017: What you need to do is stop letting him stay. He needs to find his own accommodation, if he struggles with homelessness or can't live with family.
Do not lose your accommodation for a guy you've only known 6 months. He can't support you because ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't seem that interested in sex
Q. I have had a GF for almost 3yrs, she is 34 and I'm 50 but the sex has almost complete stopped. If I pursue it she will participate and I make sure she is always taken care of first and normally 2X. And although this is not a proff, she sounds like ...
A. 25 June 2017: In term she of your body, you need to speak to a doctor and see what they suggest.
As for your girlfriend, there are a few possible reasons:
- stress
- health issue
- naturally low libido
- losing interest in the relationship
-... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants to wait but I'm frustrated
Q. My girlfriend doesn't want to have sex until she is married. She is a virgin. I am frustrated telling her how important sex is in relationship and how deeply emotionally we can be connected. She even used to give her ex bf liberty to have sex with...
A. 24 June 2017: Stop pressuring her. Find a girlfriend who wants sex before marriage; she doesn't and you need to leave her alone.... (read in full...)
I need help being more choosy
Q. How can I start believing that I deserve a good man? This fear of not finding one has paralyzed me (through therapy) I got to the problem that I'm so scared to be alone- so much I've landed in the arms of men that are - well not very classy. It's ...
A. 23 June 2017: OP, you need more therapy. Volunteer. Enrich your life through achievements, not materialism or a boyfriend.... (read in full...)
Is my pedicure cause for concern?
Q. I am not sure if I should be offended or not? But I AM!! I just got a pedicure and I love it. I like the colour. It is bright and summery. My boyfriend did not share my enthusiasm. He said pedicures with any colour draw attention to feet, and he ...
A. 23 June 2017: He's not saying your feet are ugly - he just doesn't like feet. I hate feet - admittedly wouldn't say my boyfriend's feet are ugly, but I don't like looking at feet even with a pedicure.
He was a little rude, but he hasn't got a foot fetish (... (read in full...)
How to make someone who doesn't like you fall in love with you ?
Q. I know a man who fancy me sexually but doesn't like me personally. This is odd I know, please open your mind. This is a player, someone who sleeps around and goes from a girl to a girl like a bee in the spring lol. He is good looking, char...
A. 23 June 2017: Also, "I want him to fall in love with me, I want to play him, some how, turn the table on him and slowly pull the carpet from underneath his feet" is cruel, even if he's done it to someone else, which you don't know he has - he may have been ... (read in full...)
The man I'm dating lied he said he was 30, he's almost 44
Q. Aunts and uncles! Please help.. So I've been seeing a guy for 5 months, I'm 25 and he's 30.. Things are a bit rocky here and there, but today iced the cake. I seen a comment on Facebook and decided to Snoop... I see him address his 38 year old brot...
A. 23 June 2017: 18 years is a huge gap. He lied so he could catch a young one!
You can't trust him, regardless of his excuses.... (read in full...)
How to make someone who doesn't like you fall in love with you ?
Q. I know a man who fancy me sexually but doesn't like me personally. This is odd I know, please open your mind. This is a player, someone who sleeps around and goes from a girl to a girl like a bee in the spring lol. He is good looking, char...
A. 23 June 2017: You're a bit old to think you can "make" someone do/feel something.
He wants sex. That's it. If you try to get more out of it, you will get hurt.
Ignore him and cut contact.... (read in full...)
My family doesn't approve of my boyfriend
Q. Hello, I met this guy online, nearly 2 years ago. He's korean and I'm polish. There are quite a few things that my parents refuse to accept about him and they constantly try to make me break up with him. The main arguments are his short height, th...
A. 23 June 2017: My problem with this is that he is an adult and you aren't. In 5 years, it wouldn't matter, but it does now.
It's also unlikely that this will go anywhere because you're too young to afford to travel to see each other enough to make a relation... (read in full...)
I'm being bullied. How do I stand up to these girls?
Q. I had an argument with this girl, let's call her Nelly. It was about 2 months ago now. When we were arguing I told her to "peice out" in other words go away. Now every time I walk past her in school, her and her friend always shout at me "peice out ...
A. 22 June 2017: You need to try to be mature about this. Fighting is never an option and you should try not to swear.
They are just being annoying and it won't be fun if it doesn't bother you. Ignore them. Don't look, speak or swear when they're being silly. I... (read in full...)
| *ndie's Thoughts's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ndie's Thoughts has
added them and they have added *ndie's Thoughts!
|
