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| | *ndie's Thoughts's profile:I'm Andie and I'm surviving life until I can really start to live it :)
Karma does happen:
My dad was a married woman's other guy for only a few weeks (about a decade before my mum met him), then realised he wasn't okay with helping her betray her husband. His friend became her other guy, husband came home while they were at it, the guy jumped out of the window and the husband knew, so grabbed a bicycle, chased him and punched him once, going 20mph, so it knocked him out. A couple of relationships later, after getting £15,000 in debt to help a woman leave her abusive husband and getting in a relationship with her, my dad came back from a holiday with his parents and found her with another guy. |
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What are the odds of this girl getting pregnant?
Q. Hello. I went out on a date with a young 26 year old lady that I met online, and things went pretty well. Anyways afterwards she invited me to her room and well we started making out and one thing lead to another and we ended up undressing and ...
A. 30 January 2018: Do the test, get STD tested and PLEASE don't be so reckless again. There are plenty of unplanned and unwanted babies in the world, we don't need more and you shouldn't risk having babies with strangers.... (read in full...)
I no longer feel attracted to her due to her weight!
Q. I know this is a delicate topic but I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years now - she used to be a UK Size 16-18 which I had no issue with whatsoever but she has been gradually gaining weight and now is around a 24/26 and I must admit I no longer ...
A. 28 December 2017: I couldn't agree more with the female anon about weight loss. It can be incredibly difficult to lose weight and those who can do it just by eating less, exercising and willpower are very lucky - often not realising how lucky they are. It's ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to do stuff, I feel stuck!
Q. Okay so me and my boyfriend have been togetehr for a while now and he wants to go further. I’m not sure if i’m quite ready for anything because i haven’t done anything since my last boyfriend. Me and him both have don’t stuff, but with other people ...
A. 22 December 2017: First of all, well done for saying no; it's hard to do.
Secondly, you shouldn't be having any sexual contact at your age because it is something that only brings trouble.
Thirdly, he is pressuring you and that's not okay. If you don't break ... (read in full...)
I'm sinking into depression over this girl
Q. Okay, just to start off my life has been going completely downhill. It's a long story and has been going on for about 3 years now, but here goes: There's a girl. She's perfect for me; she's pretty much the definition of what I want in a girl. ...
A. 22 December 2017: Honey, this is a crush - it isn't your first love. Love is mutual and this isn't, unfortunately. It happens to all of us.
Stop chasing this girl, talk to her less, don't flirt, change your train of thought when you think of her, tell your friends ... (read in full...)
Playing truth or dare .... I didnt like his answer.
Q. I’ve been talking to this boy he’s in the same year as me but in a different school and tonight we were playing truth or dare I asked him what the most he had done with a girl is and he said he wants to take it back but he’s fingered someone.Ohhh ...
A. 22 December 2017: Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.
Give it some time and space to fade, then stop talking about sex at 13.... (read in full...)
Did this Married Man forget his former mistress already?
Q. I dated a Married Man (MM) for a year and a half. We both worked at my dad’s office. He got caught by his wife 3 times but never left me. The 3rd time he got caught things got pretty bad. He started going to counseling and distanced himself from me. ...
A. 22 December 2017: You don't believe in therapy just because you've had a creepy therapist hit on you? Do you not believe in school because people get bullied? Do you not believe in work because there can be sexual harassment? Do you not believe in hospitals because ... (read in full...)
I no longer feel attracted to her due to her weight!
Q. I know this is a delicate topic but I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years now - she used to be a UK Size 16-18 which I had no issue with whatsoever but she has been gradually gaining weight and now is around a 24/26 and I must admit I no longer ...
A. 21 December 2017: In the simplest way possible, don't be with someone if you want them to change in ways they don't want to.
I'm a couple of sizes bigger than I would be, if my chest wasn't so big. Also, have a look online at how a size 8 in one shop is the same... (read in full...)
An older man wants me to move in as a live in lover.
Q. hi im kinda thinking about maybe accepting this proposal to be this guys full time sort of live in lover.He was the one who suggested it would make him a kinda suger daddy. He seems very nice (we have met on 3 occasions now and althogh i manage...
A. 20 December 2017: Jackie, you live in Ireland - there are *SO* many opportunities there to become independent, not become a prostitute paid with shelter and food. Seriously, you poured your heart out to a stranger and he's found a way to lure you into being his l... (read in full...)
I don't think I can ever trust again...Even my family
Q. Generally, I am not open at all. Not shy either. Just prefer to keep things private and off limits. This has happened because I've lost trust so many times that I built up this barrier, and I know it's unhealthy. But that's happened because of ...
A. 20 December 2017: OP, this is too complicated. Answer these:
How old is S1? Not 21 - 29, her actual age.
How old is S2? Not 17 - 24, her actual age.
How old is your younger brother? If he's not your age, then it's actually rather cruel and dramatic to ca... (read in full...)
Did this Married Man forget his former mistress already?
Q. I dated a Married Man (MM) for a year and a half. We both worked at my dad’s office. He got caught by his wife 3 times but never left me. The 3rd time he got caught things got pretty bad. He started going to counseling and distanced himself from me. ...
A. 20 December 2017: If you're still not over him after a year, you need to find a therapist, OP. He was married and never yours to date. I know you miss him, but you need a reality check and stop wasting your life away thinking about him.... (read in full...)
How do I get started with her?
Q. Little background: I'm a male virgin who's never kissed a girl or been on a date. Total geek, overweight, and not handsome/physically attractive in anyway. Basically no redeeming qualities for the opposite sex. I've long thought about just seein...
A. 19 December 2017: Okay, he error are a few things here: - you need to work on your confidence - don't focus on weight, unless you actively try to lose it - lots of people like "geeks" - are you prepared to find a new job if things go sour with this co-wo... (read in full...)
Did this Married Man forget his former mistress already?
Q. I dated a Married Man (MM) for a year and a half. We both worked at my dad’s office. He got caught by his wife 3 times but never left me. The 3rd time he got caught things got pretty bad. He started going to counseling and distanced himself from me. ...
A. 19 December 2017: You didn't date. He didn't love you. You betrayed your father's trust.
You need to do some growing up and re-evaluate your priorities.
Be single for 6 months, heal from this guy and make it up to your father. Then date SINGLE men only.... (read in full...)
Two questions about my breasts
Q. First Question: my boyfriend keeps asking me to show him my chest and am afraid. when i date him i always wear light clothes and no bra. when hugging him i stick soo close to him hoping that he will feel my brests and strip the clothes for hims...
A. 18 December 2017: How long have you been with him? Have you had sex? If you don't want to have sex yet, then I wouldn't advise taking your clothes off, as that will probably lead to sex.
If you're afraid to do it yourself, don't do it; it's your brain telling ... (read in full...)
My wife wants an open relationship, I don't
Q. My wife insists on a open relationship for her but not for me. I am very resentful about this but she says its this or nothing. I love her but I am going nuts....
A. 16 December 2017: Sadly, she's too selfish to care how you feel. She's probably already cheating and wants belated permission. I think your best bet is bet is to call her on it. Don't give in, though.... (read in full...)
What is a normal amount of sex?
Q. Im 30 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 10 years. We don't have any kids. How much sex would be 'normal'? Id say on average we probably do it twice a month. ...
A. 15 December 2017: Normal for....
Couple A: 3 - 4 times per week
Couple B: Once per week
Couple C: Fortnightly
Couple D: Monthly
Couple E: Handful of times per year
Couple F: Rarely/Never
If you aren't happy with it, communicate. Where do you see ... (read in full...)
Feeling guilty I missed hen do
Q. Hi everyone. I'm having a friendship dilemma. A close friend is no longer speaking to me because I didn't attend her hen do. I declined months prior due to the dates not being good for me - it's a month of birthdays and prior planned trips. ...
A. 15 December 2017: If she's won't even speak to you, then she's not a good friend.
Give it a couple of weeks (no less than 2 weeks before the wedding) and, if she still hasn't spoken to you, decide whether you want a friend like that or not. I don't think it's hea... (read in full...)
Not sure how I feel about this married man anymore, what should I do?
Q. Hey all! So I've been hooking up with a married man (mid 30s, yes I know im terrible for it) for about 9 months now, but the first time we had sex, we didnt communicate or see each other for almost 3 months, like I actually thought I wouldn't see or ...
A. 15 December 2017: If you don't feel guilty, that's a problem. You should probably speak to someone about that.
As for him, please stop all non-work contact with him and stick to it. Don't allow yourself to get dragged back in. Start dating only once you've got over... (read in full...)
In a long term relationship, partner isn't paying attention to me, I'm cheating on him with someone who's also in a relationship but isn't "long term boyfriend material". So confused! What do I do?
Q. Hi there, so I’ve been with my partner for 7 years, living together for 2. I’ve been completely loyal until now, but have been feeling unhappy and a little taken for granted for a while now. My boyfriend has a good heart and is loyal, but he is also ...
A. 15 December 2017: It's too late not to hurt him because, instead of fixing your relationship or leaving, you've betrayed him. I'm sorry, OP, but that ship has sailed.
Your boyfriend shouldn't be telling you off; you're not his child. With your overall unhappin... (read in full...)
Not sure how I feel about this married man anymore, what should I do?
Q. Hey all! So I've been hooking up with a married man (mid 30s, yes I know im terrible for it) for about 9 months now, but the first time we had sex, we didnt communicate or see each other for almost 3 months, like I actually thought I wouldn't see or ...
A. 14 December 2017: OP, dating is hard. It takes a lot of effort to find decent guys sometimes, but it's worth it when you know that you're not someone's bit on the side - you have their full attention and you're committed to each other.
You know what to do, but ... (read in full...)
Not sure how I feel about this married man anymore, what should I do?
Q. Hey all! So I've been hooking up with a married man (mid 30s, yes I know im terrible for it) for about 9 months now, but the first time we had sex, we didnt communicate or see each other for almost 3 months, like I actually thought I wouldn't see or ...
A. 14 December 2017: You should ask his wife. You're better than this. Forget avoiding being a clingy teenager, avoid being a sleazy mistress - the sane way he shouldn't be a slimy cheater.... (read in full...)
Religion may be the stumbling block for us
Q. I'm an atheist (born to Christian parents) and my fiancé is Christian. We both want kids. She recently asked me if I was willing to give them a Christian upbringing when they arrive. I want them to make the decision about a deity when they can think ...
A. 13 December 2017: You could have a great marriage with her, but not parenting because she won't compromise. Either you give in or she won't accept it.
That's why we're saying your relationship probably won't last, as you're not compatible where it counts: raising ... (read in full...)
He wants me to change, I want him to love me as I am.
Q. I'm feeling kind of hopeless in the relationship I'm in. We'e been together nearly 10 months, age gap between us is 15 years. We get a long great, there is so much chemistry. We love each other very much. There is however an issue that we find ...
A. 13 December 2017: He wants you to change, so that he doesn't have to. Don't put up with it.
I think the age gap is an issue here, but mostly regarding his immaturity. I think he went for you because women his own age find him unbearable and he thought you would ch... (read in full...)
I'm doing all the work in the relationship!
Q. I have been dating this guy for 3 months now. I really love him and feel like he could possible be the one to walk into my future with. He carries a lot of baggage in regards to sexual abuse, drug abuse and so on. He is taking anti-depressants ...
A. 13 December 2017: OP, real love doesn't happen in only 3 months - you barely know him, which you're starting to realise.
Was he abused or did he sexually abuse someone else?
Is he off drugs now or does he still take them? It could be why he is "sick" so often.... (read in full...)
What are the odds of this girl getting pregnant?
Q. Hello. I went out on a date with a young 26 year old lady that I met online, and things went pretty well. Anyways afterwards she invited me to her room and well we started making out and one thing lead to another and we ended up undressing and ...
A. 12 December 2017: OP, don't be an idiot. Meeting with someone who WANTS to get pregnant by a STRANGER is a terrible idea. She will SABOTAGE the condoms to get pregnant and you won't know until she tells you she's pregnant with your baby - possibly asking for child ... (read in full...)
I want to work on myself and stay single. How do I keep from letting men distract me?
Q. Hi ladies, as the end of 2017 is approaching I’ve made a decision to be single for awhile. It seems like 2017 was full of meaningless sex with people I thought it would work out with and it just ended up not going anywhere. So I decided to work on ...
A. 12 December 2017: Get a new hobby.
Go to the gym.
Start writing a story.
Go for walks.
Go to a new night class.
Join a Zumba class.
Join a reading group.
Find somewhere to volunteer.
Just find stuff to do.... (read in full...)
Feeling guilty I missed hen do
Q. Hi everyone. I'm having a friendship dilemma. A close friend is no longer speaking to me because I didn't attend her hen do. I declined months prior due to the dates not being good for me - it's a month of birthdays and prior planned trips. ...
A. 11 December 2017: I think it would have been nice and supportive to assist in planning, but it's not unlikely that the thought wouldn't occur to you, if you weren't able to go.
Apologise once more and offer to celebrate together, then leave it at that.... (read in full...)
Religion may be the stumbling block for us
Q. I'm an atheist (born to Christian parents) and my fiancé is Christian. We both want kids. She recently asked me if I was willing to give them a Christian upbringing when they arrive. I want them to make the decision about a deity when they can think ...
A. 11 December 2017: Why 21? That's pretty old. Most teens can decide for themselves. Anyway, I think your compromise was fair, but she doesn't want to compromise and that's why this will sadly not work out. I'm all for people having their own beliefs, but th... (read in full...)
How do I control something that is so compulsive in my nature?
Q. I dunno if this is the right place to ask this question but here goes... I'm a motorcyclist and I'm impulsive and crave the thrill of speed.I had another accident today... This must be my fifth and it looks like I have completely torn my rotator ...
A. 11 December 2017: You stop riding, sell it and find another way to work. Either that or:
- wait until you become paralysed from an accident
- wait until you make someone else disabled in an accident
- wait until you kill yourself or someone else in an accid... (read in full...)
I'm paranoid about getting someone pregnant.
Q. I'm paranoid about getting someone pregnant. I'm currently 31 and have had 1 or 2 sexual partners every year since my mid twenties. Every time I do have sex I use the condom properly, and most of the women I've been with are also on the p...
A. 11 December 2017: I think you should see a therapist about your relationship issues and pregnancy phobia - though it's possible a vasectomy may be your best option for the future.... (read in full...)
What are the odds of this girl getting pregnant?
Q. Hello. I went out on a date with a young 26 year old lady that I met online, and things went pretty well. Anyways afterwards she invited me to her room and well we started making out and one thing lead to another and we ended up undressing and ...
A. 10 December 2017: There aren't any exact odds. The main problem is pre-ejaculation, which you DID put inside her. There's a fair chance that she could get pregnant from that.
Seriously, OP - this is reckless behaviour. Don't allow yourself to get caught up in it if... (read in full...)
When will sex start to feel good?
Q. I have had sex a few times now (Like 4). When is it going to start feeling good? It doesn't hurt, I just don't really feel anything. Is that a bad thing?...
A. 10 December 2017: If they're hook ups, that's probably why.
If it's in a relationship, it could be because your partner isn't trying to figure out what you like, or you're faking it and they don't know you're not enjoying yourself.
See a doctor for a check up a... (read in full...)
A practical joke gone horribly wrong
Q. My friend Bailey and I played a joke on our friend Eve just to embarrass her and teach her a lesson but Bailey took it too far and now Eve got suspended and her parents punished her real bad. She's not aloud to talk to us or anyone or go anywhere ...
A. 10 December 2017: IF this is true, you are a cruel bully. This is NOT funny at all. Do you realise your actions could lead to someone committing suicide? Would it be funny then? It would be your fault for joining in.
It's not funny to make people feel embarras... (read in full...)
I'm paranoid about getting someone pregnant.
Q. I'm paranoid about getting someone pregnant. I'm currently 31 and have had 1 or 2 sexual partners every year since my mid twenties. Every time I do have sex I use the condom properly, and most of the women I've been with are also on the p...
A. 10 December 2017: If you really don't want a bio child ever, which isn't a bad idea (with overpopulation as it is), then get a vasectomy - a permanent solution, leaving no chance (or as close to) of getting anyone pregnant.... (read in full...)
Troubled and confused by girlfriend and her kitten
Q. Dear all This problem is a bit strange and you may think I am weird, however this is just the way I am. I am in a long distance relationship with a girl I love very much. We have plans to be together soon. Recently she out of the blue to...
A. 9 December 2017: I think her mother is right. Animals are a lot of work and most cats wake you up early, unless you have a cat flap. Taking care of one on your own isn't easy. I think rehoming it is a good idea - provided the new family knows what to expect, as your ... (read in full...)
Should I get her approval that I attend a fetish party?
Q. Im a closeted crossdreser, I'm totally straight, No bi tendencies. I have a long term wonderful girlfriend. I'm loyal to her, She knows about my crossdressing habit and she is cool with it as long as she doesn't see me dressed up. Never. This c...
A. 8 December 2017: A festival party is only a good idea when you're single or with someone who happily accepts and encourages that side of you.
If you want to be free to dress up in public, you need a girlfriend who is bi, pan or otherwise into th cross dressing... (read in full...)
I'm unhappily married but in love with a man who's engaged but hesitant to leave his fiance
Q. Please could I ask for some advice on my situation... I have been married for 3 years but for the last year the marriage has been very difficult and we both feel that we have grown too far apart to fix things, although haven’t yet said we will div...
A. 8 December 2017: If you're unhappily married, you need to divorce, but don't go after men who aren't single. Let the engaged guy go - it's cruel to his fiancée and not helpful for you. He's stringing you along. This isn't love. On your side, it's infatuation with an ... (read in full...)
How can I get over this embarrassment?
Q. This boy I like knows I was spanked and now I can’t face seeing him ever again. Me and my brother got caught skipping class. Mom was so pissed she had us stay in our rooms all afternoon. When dad came home, my brother got to go down stairs but cus ...
A. 7 December 2017: Spanking really is terrible "parenting". However, if it only happens when you do really silly things like skipping school, then it's best to just not do those things. You know better than to skip school which is why, even though I'm strongly aga... (read in full...)
How can I get over this embarrassment?
Q. This boy I like knows I was spanked and now I can’t face seeing him ever again. Me and my brother got caught skipping class. Mom was so pissed she had us stay in our rooms all afternoon. When dad came home, my brother got to go down stairs but cus ...
A. 6 December 2017: Aside from poor parenting choices that shouldn't be happening, the main problem here is your lack of commitment to school, which shows a lack of common sense. This boy is rather irrelevant, considering you're making a habit of skipping class. Why?... (read in full...)
How do I tell my wife to work on her weight problem and not just moan about it
Q. How can I encourage my Mrs to lose weight. We have been married 6 yrs, she was gorgeous slim when we met. Over the years I have told her she is getting big and she should try and maintain shape before it gets out of control. Her response is that she ...
A. 5 December 2017: You're not wrong, but she's also self-conscious and it's rarely as simple as "if you're not happy, fix it".
Once per month, ask her if she'd like to go to the gym with you or join a Zumba-type class. If she refuses, let it go.
If she cooks,... (read in full...)
Should I have an affair with a married man?
Q. This is going to make me sound like a horrible person... Maybe I am. I've been infatuated with this man for months. I can tell he doesn't care about me emotionally because once I say no to a booty call, he says good bye. I'm not going to lie, I'...
A. 3 December 2017: "Should I have an affair with a married man?" Ask his wife.
Seriously, OP. When you're married someday, do you want your husband sleeping with someone else? If not, don't do it to someone else.
I can promise you that, if you do, you will mos... (read in full...)
Bereavement has hit our relationship
Q. My partner's ex girlfriend killed herself 6 weeks ago, he took his pain + grief out on me. We have been together 6 years + 3 children. I don't see a way back. He is sleeping on the sofa since. Is it time to walk away. ...
A. 2 December 2017: If it was physical, absolutely leave. If it was moodiness, anger, snappiness and such, I'd let it go for now. Let him grieve and give him space.
If it hasn't improved in a few weeks, then you need to calmly stress that you appreciate him grieving... (read in full...)
What do I do and say? His depression is hard to deal with
Q. I need help. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 months and a bit more , and I love him so much but he has depression . I help him as much as I can and I’m here for him all the time but he always complains to me how he feels and I understand that he’s ...
A. 1 December 2017: OP, you're too young to handle this. I know you want to help, but he needs to see a therapist.
I battle with depression, among other things, and I know how draining it is. Your life will likely suffer unless you break up with him and encourag... (read in full...)
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