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| | *ndie's Thoughts's profile:I'm Andie and I'm surviving life until I can really start to live it :)
Karma does happen:
My dad was a married woman's other guy for only a few weeks (about a decade before my mum met him), then realised he wasn't okay with helping her betray her husband. His friend became her other guy, husband came home while they were at it, the guy jumped out of the window and the husband knew, so grabbed a bicycle, chased him and punched him once, going 20mph, so it knocked him out. A couple of relationships later, after getting £15,000 in debt to help a woman leave her abusive husband and getting in a relationship with her, my dad came back from a holiday with his parents and found her with another guy. |
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How do I convince my parents that I'm an adult? They have my entire college schedule mapped out and a GPS on my phone!
Q. I'm new in here and I've tried to help others and so far I hope I'm doing a good job. But now, I need some advice on how to convince my parents that I am an adult and deserve more privacy and freedom. I'm a college student and to be honest, I'...
A. 14 January 2018: This is ridiculous. Look, if they don't pay for you to survive, then set your own rules.
Don't sneak around, like with a burner phone. Get a proper phone, but don't allow them access to it - give them back the one they control.
Change your e... (read in full...)
How can I help him with his terrible snoring?
Q. Dear Cupid. I need advice on how I can help my partner with his snoring! My partner and I have been together for just over three years. In the first year, year and a half my partner barely snored, we had a great bedtime routine. Fast for...
A. 14 January 2018: Again, OP, I don't think you can avoid an ultimatum, at this point - you can't sleep in the lounge for the next 40+ years of your life!... (read in full...)
How can I help him with his terrible snoring?
Q. Dear Cupid. I need advice on how I can help my partner with his snoring! My partner and I have been together for just over three years. In the first year, year and a half my partner barely snored, we had a great bedtime routine. Fast for...
A. 14 January 2018: If you've recorded it and he's still in denial, then I'd leave, but that's just me. I couldn't take being with someone who denies evidence and refuses to see a doctor about it.
Sleeping in separate rooms is okay, but the OP has said she can stil... (read in full...)
How do I convince my parents that I'm an adult? They have my entire college schedule mapped out and a GPS on my phone!
Q. I'm new in here and I've tried to help others and so far I hope I'm doing a good job. But now, I need some advice on how to convince my parents that I am an adult and deserve more privacy and freedom. I'm a college student and to be honest, I'...
A. 13 January 2018: Cut the apron strings. Become financially independent, send them the phone back (you don't need a fancy phone), then tell them "I will call you once per week on a _____ to update you. You are controlling my life and I won't learn to thrive on my ... (read in full...)
How can I help him with his terrible snoring?
Q. Dear Cupid. I need advice on how I can help my partner with his snoring! My partner and I have been together for just over three years. In the first year, year and a half my partner barely snored, we had a great bedtime routine. Fast for...
A. 13 January 2018: Time to put your foot down. "I love you, but I won't sleep in the lounge any more and I can't sleep through your snoring. I want to be with you, but you need to see a doctor about your snoring, or I can't get enough sleep to function and I can't ... (read in full...)
I’ve been the primary breadwinner for most of our relationship!
Q. I have been dating my partner for 2 years now. Before getting together I expressed to him that as a single parent with big goals I need someone motivated who will pull their weight and he said that was easy. At the time he was a manager at a loca...
A. 13 January 2018: You leave. I'm sorry, OP, but this is a clear pattern. He's not going to change while he's being enabled. When things got tough while he was living with his mum, you probably should have left it there, not paid for him to move back.
You and your... (read in full...)
Will waxing my upper lip hurt?
Q. hi y'all, I'm 20 yo girl and have a kind of a moustache. it doesn't bother me a lot tbh. I only waxed it once (mum did it for me) and it kinda hurts, so i can't trust anyone to wax it for me( not even myself).. I would like to shave it, but i ...
A. 12 January 2018: If it doesn't bother you, why get rid of it? :)... (read in full...)
I'm addicted to cheating
Q. Well my life is the biggest mess ever im in two relationships one long distance and one local. Yet i keep dating other guys and girls i just cant seem to stop cheating. What is wrong with me ? I have been abused alot by men i dont know if that has ...
A. 12 January 2018: Being abused isn't an excuse to cheat.
Being bisexual isn't an excuse to cheat.
I'm so sorry you were abused, but you're messing with people and that's not fair.
It's great that you've come here and know you need to stop. You need therapy, ... (read in full...)
How do we reconcile our differences over children?
Q. Dear Cupid. So I’m sitting here in tears (currently hormonal) because my partner of 3 years has just told me during a conversation about cars and the future, and me wanting children in 2/3 years time as i’ll be 27-28...(I’m currently 24, 25...
A. 12 January 2018: You need to find someone who has the same goals. It could take you a year or two to get over this guy and find someone who does, then add a year or so of dating before engagement and another year or so before marriage. That's 4 years gone. If y... (read in full...)
I'm addicted to cheating
Q. Well my life is the biggest mess ever im in two relationships one long distance and one local. Yet i keep dating other guys and girls i just cant seem to stop cheating. What is wrong with me ? I have been abused alot by men i dont know if that has ...
A. 12 January 2018: Then you need to do what addicted people do to get better - therapy.
End all of your relationships and be single until you can be in a relationship without cheating.... (read in full...)
I need help breaking the happy news to my partner!
Q. Hiya everyone I’ve been with my partner for 4 years we have a 2 year old son together the problem is I have just found out I’m pregnant which I’m over the moon about but the problem is he doesn’t want any more children ever he has said I haven’t ...
A. 11 January 2018: You just have to go ahead and say it. Sit him down privately, then try to sound "normal" about it, rather than excited.
If he didn't want any more, you should have been on birth control and he should have always used condoms or had a vasectom... (read in full...)
My gf wants to learn salsa dance and I hate it. How to say no
Q. Hi. I've been in a relationship with my gf for about 2 years now. I'm planning to propose soon but there's is something thas is making me reevaluate my relationship. I took her once to a latin club where salsa music is played and she absolute...
A. 10 January 2018: Why on earth would salsa dancing make you re-evaluate wanting to propose?! That's petty and trivial, OP.
Salsa dancing is fun, sensual, energetic and a great way to exercise. If you don't enjoy it, that's okay, but don't expect her not to do it - ... (read in full...)
Should my 65 year old mother try online dating?
Q. Hi , Thanks for always being helpful. My mom is 65 years old. My father passed away ten years ago. My mom feel very lonely. I do my best to spend time with her but still she feel lonely. I advice her to date someone. She is happy with my idea. Bu...
A. 9 January 2018: Try hobby groups, but also look online for companionship websites where older people just want a platonic or sex-free friendship/relationship. Just make sure your mum still knows red flags to avoid.... (read in full...)
My husband raised a boy as his own, but now he is 19 I don't want him included in our family!
Q. Hi Just need a bit of advice...my husband met a woman who already had a child 17 years ago. My husband then helped bring him up, however when this child become 13/14 he came into a lot of trouble and trouble has followed him since. Oliver no...
A. 9 January 2018: OP, no wonder the boy is screwed up! His mum is awful, his biological dad is who knows where, the only dad he's ever known (your husband) is essentially disowning him as family and encouraging him to find a stranger (sperm donor).... very few people ... (read in full...)
I found my best friends sex tape online
Q. This is unbelievable. There is a girl I’ve been friends with since we were two years old, and we are now 24. I recently found a video of her on a porn site (one of my friends who met her at a party sent me a link saying it looked like her). It 10...
A. 9 January 2018: Email the link to her from a new, random-named email address, with a short message explaining that you "found a video of her on a porn site and you wanted her to know, in case she didn't want it on there". She needs to know, so she can do something ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to go away with his friends, not with me!
Q. Lads holiday to Berlin when in a long term relationship of 5 years??? My boyfriend of 5 years and his friends want to go on a lads holiday after we finish our A level exams this summer. They are thinking of going to Berlin however, I’m rea...
A. 9 January 2018: OP, I'm really sorry, but the chances of him being the love of your life are incredibly slim - almost impossible. Add to that the fact that he's a completely different, rude and disrespectful person when drunk, he's hardly right for you - which the ... (read in full...)
My husband raised a boy as his own, but now he is 19 I don't want him included in our family!
Q. Hi Just need a bit of advice...my husband met a woman who already had a child 17 years ago. My husband then helped bring him up, however when this child become 13/14 he came into a lot of trouble and trouble has followed him since. Oliver no...
A. 8 January 2018: Thing is, OP, he is still a boy in a young man's body. He is lost and confused. He is trying to find his way in the world and it's not easy.
We all lose jobs, so that's not something you should hold against him, unless he can't hold one down at ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to go away with his friends, not with me!
Q. Lads holiday to Berlin when in a long term relationship of 5 years??? My boyfriend of 5 years and his friends want to go on a lads holiday after we finish our A level exams this summer. They are thinking of going to Berlin however, I’m rea...
A. 8 January 2018: Please bear with this "essay"; it's important.
OP, whether he'd rather go on a once-in-a-lifetime A-Levels-Are-Over holiday with his friends or buy a car (which he can do any time) is none of your business, honestly.
You've been together so... (read in full...)
I think he's cheating and we had unprotected sex!
Q. I posted a question few weeks ago about this guy that I’m seeing, a 46 years old physician divorced with no kids. From the beginning I made my dating rules clear and told him that I don’t want to have any physical contact or intimacy if he is seeing ...
A. 8 January 2018: OP, you are wasting your time and ours. We are happy to help, but you want us to tell you he's not lying or sleeping with others and we can't do that. We're trying to help you, but you don't want to hear that he's bad news, so you're buying the crap ... (read in full...)
He ended it after 15 years and I can't move on
Q. hi my name is carol and upto 3 years ago i was havein an afair it lasted 15years but one day he said he couldet see me any more but never realy said why i was deversteted and still am thort after all them years i desevred better i still miss him and ...
A. 8 January 2018: You need therapy. Seriously, he was a slimeball who cheated on his wife for 15 years - he was never going to commit to you.
You've allowed yourself to waste 18 years - 15 with him and 3 not moving on. Do you want to waste the next two decades ... (read in full...)
I think he's cheating and we had unprotected sex!
Q. I posted a question few weeks ago about this guy that I’m seeing, a 46 years old physician divorced with no kids. From the beginning I made my dating rules clear and told him that I don’t want to have any physical contact or intimacy if he is seeing ...
A. 8 January 2018: OP, this is all too complicated. Leave him. Don't bother confronting him. It's not worth this hassle. Learn from your mistake and find someone else.... (read in full...)
Will he break up with me because I don't like giving head?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months now and things seem to be going well. However he keeps asking for a blowjob which I'm not keen to do. I've tried it with him for a tiny length of time but really really dislike it. I've told him this. ...
A. 8 January 2018: Stick to your guns. Don't do things you aren't comfortable with just because someone else wants you to.
If it's a deal breaker for him, you're not compatible anyway. I'm sorry, OP, but this is just something we have to face when dating. I will hav... (read in full...)
My LDR wants me to talk dirty but I don't know how.
Q. Hi, I had my first boyfriend recently, but it's a long distance relationship.. so we video chat.. However, he has no problem dirty talking, but I never done this; so i dont know how to talk dirty to him.. It was kind of weird the last time cause he...
A. 7 January 2018: There will no doubt be lots of tips on Google. Just give it a little go, but don't force yourself. Lots of people can't or don't like to talk dirty, feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable, and that's absolutely okay. Don't do it just because he wants ... (read in full...)
How can I have sex without feelings?
Q. Why can’t I handle intimate relationships? When I get intimate with a man it’s like my power and common sense go away I feel so weak and vulnerable. I look at my ex”s pics on social media after a year and a half and I see him with another woman and ...
A. 7 January 2018: That's BS. Most people (as you put it: "normal" people) get attached during sex and can't stay emotionless.
You may need therapy to get over your ex, as well as blocking him on everything, but nobody needs to learn how to have sex without caring. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to go away with his friends, not with me!
Q. Lads holiday to Berlin when in a long term relationship of 5 years??? My boyfriend of 5 years and his friends want to go on a lads holiday after we finish our A level exams this summer. They are thinking of going to Berlin however, I’m rea...
A. 7 January 2018: Don't make him choose. I get why you're worried, but he has to be trusted to go away with rowdy friends, or why are you with him? My cousin has been with her fiancée for about 10 years. They have always been going away together and separately, ... (read in full...)
I think he's cheating and we had unprotected sex!
Q. I posted a question few weeks ago about this guy that I’m seeing, a 46 years old physician divorced with no kids. From the beginning I made my dating rules clear and told him that I don’t want to have any physical contact or intimacy if he is seeing ...
A. 7 January 2018: OP, don't chastise him about being irresponsible; YOU agreed to unprotected sex. You've only been dating a couple of months and had unprotected sex just because he's a doctor (or says he is?!). You are *equally* irresponsible. You could not only get ... (read in full...)
New girfriend wants marriage .... I don't!
Q. Simple situation, I've recently walked out on a 18 year marriage, we've lived apart or part-time for the last 2 years. We have no children, fury babies only. She has the lions share of income and I was not satisfied in our relationship, we simply ...
A. 6 January 2018: Seriously? This screams mid-life crisis. You're in the middle of divorcing and went for someone young enough to be your daughter! Not only that, but she wants marriage and you don't know that you have to break up with her?
Of course she wants co... (read in full...)
We met online a week ago and already love each other
Q. I have been divorced for almost 6 months and have been dating. I met someone online and when we met in person we both felt an instant connection. He has already told me he loves me and I have told him also. It has only been a week. I have never had ...
A. 6 January 2018: OP, you don't know each other. This isn't love. This is "I've just met you, I'm desperate to be loved and I'm infatuated because you're my escape". Either he's feeling the same a sign I've just explained, or he's PLAYING YOU.
You're stranger... (read in full...)
My ex still loves me but I don't want to hurt my current boyfriend.
Q. I suddenly met my ex in a wedding a month ago. He still loves me the same and love me though he know I'm in a new relationship. He always treated me a way far better than my present one. I don't want to hurt anyone. But I'm stuckedin between two. ...
A. 6 January 2018: OP, we've covered it for you: you should be single.
This guy doesn't respect you or treat you well and your ex is an ex, so leave him in the past.
Be single and learn to be happy on your own. Try dating a NEW person in a 6 months.... (read in full...)
I am worried about oral sex and hygiene
Q. I've been in a relationship for a while now. She's coming over for the weekend. This will be the first time we'll be alone together in a private place. We've talked about being physical and we're both ready for it. I want to please her sexually. ...
A. 5 January 2018: You quite literally pee out of what would go in her mouth. I get it; I don't like the idea of oral for similar reasons, but just shower first - both of you. As for her anatomy, just take things slowly, so you don't go near her rear end.
I'd a... (read in full...)
Should I confess to my drunken night?
Q. I went out last night and got really drunk. A guy grabbed me and started kissing me and feeling me up and without thinking I started kissing him back. Then he said he would help to get me home safely but he got out of the taxi too and we ended up ...
A. 5 January 2018: I get why people say "what people don't know won't hurt them", but he *deserves* to know who he's with and that you weren't faithful. I'd want to know because it's a deal breaker for me. I don't want to spend years of my life with someone who ... (read in full...)
Are my husband's conditions unfair?
Q. My husband's conditions for our marriage were that I would never talk to men online ever (including my male cousins, childhood friends who were like my brothers and gay male friends), that I would cut off contact with all my male friends in real ...
A. 5 January 2018: I don't know why you married someone who would demand you alienate yourself from all men, even family members. You agreed to it by marrying him - a naive and, to be blunt, stupid decision. I'm assuming you felt conflicted at the time and felt you ... (read in full...)
How do I handle her cheating?
Q. after marriage my wife got pregnant third time. she aborted because she did not want three children. but i wanted. i have doubts about this abortion at that time and i was doubting some one in our family. 2. one day my wife had two red marks on...
A. 5 January 2018: Marriage counselling or divorce, I suppose. If she is cheating and you caught her kissing him or something (not just talking), then she has to want to stop the affair or your marriage won't last.
I'm sorry, OP. I'd like to check how you know, th... (read in full...)
My new wife sunbathes topless and I've seen other men looking
Q. We are in honeymoon. My wife did topless tanning in a beach with a lot of people. I dont feel so comfortable with this so I discussed with her. She didnt like it and she told me that I am jealous and that she did it only for tanning. I accepted it ...
A. 4 January 2018: OP, you can't "let" her do anything - you don't own or control her. She does it because she wants even tanning and can choose for herself.
I completely understand why you're uncomfortable. I'd be uncomfortable if women stared at my boyfrien... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has dozen of photos of his exes on his profiles
Q. Hello everyone. My bf has dozens of old pictures with exes on his profiles. He said he cleaned it up but there’s still pics with at least 3 ex girlfriends. He said it’s my job to help him delete things. I’m not sure what to think about this. I said ...
A. 3 January 2018: I've only had one boyfriend, but I won't remove photos of him from my social media because most of the progress in my life happened with his encouragement and support. I wouldn't be where I am without his involvement in my life. Besides, there are ... (read in full...)
Uh Oh! My girlfriend and I are related!
Q. My girlfriend and I are related, found out after 30 years but are great great grandparents are cousins??..I love her to death and we have a 4 month year old daughter but what should we do?...
A. 3 January 2018: Get married, for your child's sake - legal coverage and such. Other than that, there's nothing to worry about because the relation is too far back :)... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants sex on demand, what about what I want?
Q. I love my boyfriend we been together nearly a year but he always wants sex in the morning and I just don't and if I don't have it when he wants he gets into a strop all day and just walks off and if we go out he will just walk miles in front of me ...
A. 3 January 2018: You're absolutely not in the wrong - he is for pressuring you and making you feel guilty.
If he can't compromise happily, you should leave him because it's borderline abusive. You don't owe him anything, especially not sex.
He's selfish ... (read in full...)
My new wife sunbathes topless and I've seen other men looking
Q. We are in honeymoon. My wife did topless tanning in a beach with a lot of people. I dont feel so comfortable with this so I discussed with her. She didnt like it and she told me that I am jealous and that she did it only for tanning. I accepted it ...
A. 3 January 2018: It may be for attention, but most women who do it like to because it creates an even tan. She can't help guys looking. Leave it alone now.... (read in full...)
How do you leave someone when they are the father of your child?
Q. Hi, I’m eight weeks pregnant with what would be my first child. But before I knew, I had been thinking on and off that I wanted freedom, I started questioning being compatible with my boyfriend and resenting him. Sex life was declining and I had no ...
A. 1 January 2018: This may be an unpopular opinion, but I don't think you should rule out abortion yet. You are pregnant, but it isn't a baby yet and it's worth looking into the process, as this man is horrible and doesn't seem like he'll be father material. Also... (read in full...)
My ex still loves me but I don't want to hurt my current boyfriend.
Q. I suddenly met my ex in a wedding a month ago. He still loves me the same and love me though he know I'm in a new relationship. He always treated me a way far better than my present one. I don't want to hurt anyone. But I'm stuckedin between two. ...
A. 1 January 2018: If your ex treated you better than your current one, why stay with your current one?
Also, your ex is an ex for a reason - why did you break up?
You don't say who YOU love either.
It seems as though you need to be single for a while. Boyf... (read in full...)
I hate that my gay friends have been with girls before
Q. i feel weird cuz all my gay friends have been with girls before or some sorta connection. I feel dumb and alone. At dinner last week we were talking and all 4 of them had sex or girlfriends at some time except me. in lgbt movies its the same thing ...
A. 1 January 2018: I suppose it's because most of us put too much value on being like everyone else and going through things the most common way. However, it's up to you to learn to accept your journey as it is.... (read in full...)
I feel my girlfriend is cheating on me... With her ex husband's new wife!
Q. I've been dating my girlfriend, we'll call her "S", for about 11 months. She has a 4 year old son, I have no children. She's divorced, and it was rough. He was an abusive, meth-head a-hole. I've never been married, but I've been cheated on ...
A. 31 December 2017: Perhaps they are cheating, but some gal pals just really are that close. If she stopped during sex, perhaps there was an emotional support situation and/or, in the nicest possible way, she wasn't pleasantly distracted by the sex you were having.
... (read in full...)
Is it selfish to break up with him over this?
Q. A couple of months ago my boyfriend and I had an argument, I was trying my best to start sex with him, I don't know if he was maybe tired but he got annoyed and said it's a turn off putting sex on a plate. So I decided to stop trying, I though...
A. 31 December 2017: Set up a payment plan that you both sign and have a copy of, then break up. You're just not sexually compatible.... (read in full...)
I no longer feel attracted to her due to her weight!
Q. I know this is a delicate topic but I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years now - she used to be a UK Size 16-18 which I had no issue with whatsoever but she has been gradually gaining weight and now is around a 24/26 and I must admit I no longer ...
A. 28 December 2017: I couldn't agree more with the female anon about weight loss. It can be incredibly difficult to lose weight and those who can do it just by eating less, exercising and willpower are very lucky - often not realising how lucky they are. It's ... (read in full...)
I no longer feel attracted to her due to her weight!
Q. I know this is a delicate topic but I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years now - she used to be a UK Size 16-18 which I had no issue with whatsoever but she has been gradually gaining weight and now is around a 24/26 and I must admit I no longer ...
A. 21 December 2017: In the simplest way possible, don't be with someone if you want them to change in ways they don't want to.
I'm a couple of sizes bigger than I would be, if my chest wasn't so big. Also, have a look online at how a size 8 in one shop is the same... (read in full...)
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