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Dear Cupid > Forums > Cupid's Lounge > Dear Cupid's sex manual

Dear Cupid's sex manual

Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

I've been very edjimacated by some of the posts here...

The latest was flesh light.

Then we have in no particular order,

Rainbow kisses

Spit roast

Mars bar parties

Butt plugs

I'm sure I've forgotten some.

So where's that manual?

Posted on 19 April 2008 @ 20:57 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Hah I have to say, Tisha...this site has had some very strange letters from posters, with a large 'diverse' range of kinks and sexual predispositions. Ranging from the playfully fun to hilariously-crazy-weird to downright gross. One of these letters, made me literally gag, when I had unfortunately stumbled on it. Eww I think you'll know the one I am referring to and that one should not be included in the annals of the DearCupid sex manual. lol

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-have-some-bizarre-fetishes-does-that-mean.html ( June 2006)

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-do-people-have-wierd-fetishes-how-do.html (Sept 2007)

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-is-scat.html (May 2007)

Check out this forum thread. It was getting rather playful(and kinky). Some of the Aunties were being downright naughty and quite "cheeky". Check it out. What ever happened to 'Smeedle'...anyone ever hear from her?

http://www.dearcupid.org/forum/sex/22

Posted on 19 April 2008 @ 21:40 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Remember the nassal sex one hunny TEE! HEE!!! (:0) xxxxxx

Posted on 19 April 2008 @ 22:11 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Gosh yes, Mandy!! Thanks for the reminder...That one was a hoot! lol

Posted on 19 April 2008 @ 22:23 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

I had a dream after that, That I gave birth through me snout!!!!!

Thats why Im the goddess of nassal birth! hunny I woke up in a real bloody sweat!!!!!LOL! (:0)

Posted on 19 April 2008 @ 22:41 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

How could I have forgotten that one?

Now we have raw meat and golf balls! Maybe they should rethink allowing Internet access at Bedlam or Bellevue?

More fun wicky wacky stories for the manual...

Posted on 28 April 2008 @ 14:54 (London time) - permalink
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Susan Strict, posted over a year ago

* sigh * What a shame replies are blocked to the "raw meat fetish" question. I suppose it's for the best.

Posted on 28 April 2008 @ 15:17 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

There go all our chances for some great "pun"!

Posted on 28 April 2008 @ 15:27 (London time) - permalink
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Susan Strict, posted over a year ago

Ah, I found the golf ball question. Don't know how I missed it. I hope I wasn't TOO over-the-top...

Posted on 28 April 2008 @ 15:30 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

Par for the course, Susan. Now I can't get the song "I'm your bogeyman" (KC and the sunshine band) out of my head!

Posted on 28 April 2008 @ 15:34 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

golfballs new I had to get outta bed for something oh well thats cheered me up, Havent peeps heard of ann summers fooking golf ball!!!!!!! Im scared incase me bloody tampax goes amiss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Thats the only real shock ive had in the last few yrs nothing else shocks me anymore!!!!!!!!!!HO HUM!!!!!!!(:0)

Posted on 28 April 2008 @ 16:16 (London time) - permalink
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birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

SO - we have to add ralgex rodeo (ewh, look it up) to that list, and has anyone heard of merkins? That's a toupee for your bald hoo hoo. Seriously. Why? Why invent that? Although I have seriously seen men wearing rugs that looked like a merkin, but do people actually use these things? And what the heck kind of sheltered life have I been living? My husband's boss has a bald chest. Should I suggest a merkin? I have been hoping that he would get a nice "Golden Parachute" for his old age...

Posted on 30 April 2008 @ 3:14 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

oh my goodness thats for real!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They used to shave off all the pubic hair as a cure for syphillis, so the well-to-do used wigs. Im sitting here pondering and my thoughts are WHAT!!!!!THE BLOODY BLOODY!!!Shave of the curly wurlys to get rid of the lice and im wondering how they stuck the old wig on what kind of fanny glue? (The mind boggles) And why? well you learn something new everyday and thats one to add to the book, Im getting a book I nead one just to keep up to date. golden parachute!!!!!!!hunny what about the old golden shower, Not that Im suggesting you give him one but it seems all the rage now adays TEE HEE :) STICK WITH THE PARACHUTE LOVE! At least you no he would land safely (:0) I wonder what a gerkin would look like stuck out of the merkin? (:0)

Posted on 30 April 2008 @ 12:31 (London time) - permalink
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birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

Gerkin in the merkin!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHA! OMG!

Well, I knew they existed, but not why! That's really gross! FANNY GLUE! Hey - there has to be a dirty limerick in there Uncle Phil!

Posted on 30 April 2008 @ 15:8 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

yea uncy phil were is YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!(:0)

Posted on 30 April 2008 @ 18:44 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

I'm never far away (more's the pity, I hear you say) Me - rude? I'm working on it. Only just got in after a very trying day!

Posted on 30 April 2008 @ 20:38 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

Some rhyming ideas, lurkin' and smirkin'. And I expect that there's a place somewhere in the world that is pronouned Glanny foo. It might be spelled like Glannaughlaglafoughgl. Just a guess but could help!

Posted on 30 April 2008 @ 22:25 (London time) - permalink
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birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

That must be Welsh or Irish fanny glue...

Posted on 30 April 2008 @ 23:24 (London time) - permalink
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BigSis, posted over a year ago

Fee Fy Foo Fum

I smell fanny glue

That sticks to yer bum!

Yuk!! You ladies...can we please change the subject?

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 1:12 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

No! *pouting*

Sighs

Okay, so what else do we have for the manual?

(was it the fanny thing? For us north Americans its not quite so horrid)

BigSis, big hearts and pinky handshakes to you!

Xoxoxo

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 2:6 (London time) - permalink
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birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

THE NAME GAME!

Let's Do HERPES!

Herpes Herpes Bo Burpies

Fa Nana Fana Fo Ferpies

Fee Fie Mo Merpies

HERPES!

Hey, blame the Simpson's... And Crusty.

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 3:7 (London time) - permalink
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birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

AWWHH Man, Krusty. Such a bad Simpson's fan.

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 3:29 (London time) - permalink
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BigSis, posted over a year ago

Tisha, have you forgotten already? A fanny over here is worth two in a bush....no, sorry....a fanny over here is a 'front bottom'.

(^ v ^)

Birdy...I'd rather stick to fannies....

...{Said the Bishop to the Actress}

Three sisters, named Flora, Fiona and Fanny lived in the same village in Yorkshire and were renowned for their beauty, although all of them had extra large feet. One evening, Flora and Fiona went clubbing and were soon chatting to some lads. "By gum," said one of the lads. "Haven't you got big feet!" "Oh that's nothing!" they replied. "You should see our Fanny's".

xXx

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 3:35 (London time) - permalink
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birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

Awwh Mannn,

LET'S DO FANNY!

Fanny Fanny Bo Banny

Ba Nanna Fanna Fo Fanny

Fee Fie Mo Manny!

FAAAAAANY!

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 3:52 (London time) - permalink
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birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

I shaved my punany, it's true,

'Cause the bugs were more many, than few,

Tho' the rug was quite fetching,

It still is perplexing,

That BigSis doesn't like Fanny Glue!

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 4:0 (London time) - permalink
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BigSis, posted over a year ago

EEEEWWWWWW!!! BIRDY!!

Mandy Mandy Bo Bandy

Banana Fana Fo Fandy

Fi Fy Mo Randy~Bandy

M A N D Y!!!

Did I do that right?

{Not bad first attempt for a Greeklish Girl, what d'ya think?}

Enough with the fanny glue, already!!

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 4:11 (London time) - permalink
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birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

Okay, well then, I'm Bob's your Uncle and Fanny's your Aunt! Please, Lead on Macduff...

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 4:30 (London time) - permalink
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birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT'S HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hurray, Hurray!

The First of May!

Outdoor Cha-Cha

Begins Today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please feel free to insert any other words for Cha-Cha!

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 4:58 (London time) - permalink
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BigSis, posted over a year ago

What’s white and sticky and shuffles across the floor doing the “Cha Cha Cha”?

Cum Dancing!!

: }

xXx

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 5:26 (London time) - permalink
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birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

Ah HAHAHAHA!

NO! But seriously! Outdoor playtime season has officially begun! Breezes on bare butts, if you will! Time to run amok! Nothing like love a la plein air!!!!!!!!! Even if it's now a little chilly willy!!!

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 6:10 (London time) - permalink
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BigSis, posted over a year ago

Let's do Chilly Willy...

Billy Chilly Bo Willy

Ba Nanna Fanna Lilly

So Silly Jilly Milly

Fee Fy Willie Nilly

Warm up my..Chilly

W I L L E E E E!!

I'm really getting the hang of this.

xxxXxxx

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 6:32 (London time) - permalink
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TELLULAH, posted over a year ago

I have asked a close friend about the golf balls, and apparantly they are suitable to use for sex. But!!! must never be swollowed after sex, he didnt say if you could swollow them before though. I'm guessing not though?

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 16:56 (London time) - permalink
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TELLULAH, posted over a year ago

Is it true that in America a bum bag is called a fanny pack?

That might be where the fanny glue comes into use, to stick the bags together, and save stitching.

If it is!!!, whats a bum bag for? Is it to keep tramps in?

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 19:33 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

Yes, Tellulah, the bum bag is indeed called a fanny pack. And sssshhhhh, BigSis is very very touchy about fanny glue, so let's just keep this very quiet. Fanny means bum or backside here, not the front private parts... Bum here means either a vagrant who tries to beg, or in slang means 'to borrow' as in, can I bum a fiver to pay my tab? But the strange thing as far as I can tell about the f***y pack is that it often is worn in front, slung low under the great big American tourist belly, which has led one of my good friends, an American, to call them 'scrotal sacks' but let's don't go there....

And a bum bag here would mean what a tramp or hobo (both a bit archaic terms now) might carry.

So let's just keep the Glanny foo thing to ourselves now.... otherwise BigSis might have what Bart Simpson calls 'a cow, man'. ;)

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 19:53 (London time) - permalink
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birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

I thought those thing were called cod pieces...

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 20:1 (London time) - permalink
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TELLULAH, posted over a year ago

No cod peices are what you get to go with your chips from the chippie. Along with a Wally (large gerkin). What do you call your rear over there Tish?! cause its a bum over here.

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 20:9 (London time) - permalink
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BigSis, posted over a year ago

Tisha?.....What's a 'cow man'? Is it a bull?

Mmmm...cod pieces, lovely with a white creamy sauce!

: )

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 20:13 (London time) - permalink
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BigSis, posted over a year ago

Tellulah, their version of our 'bum' is as follows;

The part of one's back on which one rests in sitting: buttock (used in plural), derrière, posterior, rump, seat. Informal backside, behind, bottom, rear1. Slang bun (used in plural), fanny. Chiefly British 'bum'.

( Y ) ---one of them.

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 20:16 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

Here we say 'butt' as in 'get off your butt, you lazy thing!' Also 'backside', 'rear end', and 'bottom'. We need to add this to the 'English in all its variations' bit on the Forum here, which I started a bit back....

Chips here are what you in the UK call crisps, only we'd say potato chips, french fries are what we call chips here. Wally is a character's name from a really old TV show called 'Leave it to Beaver'... I personally have never met a man named Wally. And we call gerkins 'pickles'...

It's all so confusing and yet we figure it out somehow!

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 20:20 (London time) - permalink
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TELLULAH, posted over a year ago

Not your Ar** then? I quite like the word Bum, I think it sounds a lot better than our tramp.

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 20:20 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

Well, we do say a**, with two esses, no R. Also as in 'move your a**, you're in the way of my enormous SUV!!!'

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 20:22 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

I like bum too, so I use it now but I think I might sound a bit twee or naff. And those are two words that are never used here at all!

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 20:22 (London time) - permalink
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TELLULAH, posted over a year ago

Beaver.............he!he! You couldnt call a program that surely? Now I have to get my mind out of the gutter, because I am now visualising a merkin with its own program.

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 20:23 (London time) - permalink
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TELLULAH, posted over a year ago

Hey Tish!! what do you call a dress. I always call it a frock, but my mates laugh and think its old fashioned.

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 20:25 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

Oh, Beaver used to be quite innocent, now, not so much :) And I call it a dress. Frock here sounds like mispronunciation of another kind...and is kind of part of what happens to a priest when he's being defrocked, after being very very naughty with an altar boy.

A sweater here is the woolen or cotton or whatever garment that has two sleeves and is pulled over another shirt, or blouse or is worn on its own, I think you would call it a jumper.

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 20:33 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

BigSis, I totally missed your messages while (whilst) composing mine...

And I meant having a 'cow, man' dammit ('eats, shoots, and leaves' comes to mind) I've missed the comma in there, I must be in a coma...or have something in my semicolon.

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 20:48 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

I THOUGHT IT WAS A PANDA THAT EATS SHOOTS AND LEAVES!!!!!

A panda spent the night in bed with a prostitute. The following morning as he is about ready to leave, the prostitute yells after him, "Hey, aren't you going to pay me?"

The panda appears confused, so she throws a dictionary at him and tells him to look up 'prostitute.'

The definition reads: 'A woman who engages in promiscuous sexual activity for pay. '

The panda throws the dictionary back at the prostitute and tells her to look up 'panda.'

The definition reads: 'An animal that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves.' (:0) (:0) Ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted on 1 May 2008 @ 21:3 (London time) - permalink
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birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

HAHAHAHA!

Here's an interesting tidbit-t-t-t-t-t for the manual. I love the books that they carry at Urban Outfitters, they're So informative! Pony Play! That's where you dress up as either a riding pony, a cart pony or a show pony! There are all kinds of bit's and harnesses involved that you can purchase through specialty shops, and every pony has to have a tail! In the form of being attached to a Butt Plug!!!!!! So, can you wear this discreetly under your clothing, say, dressing to the left or to the right????????? Inquiring minds want to know? God, I have lived a sheltered existence.

Posted on 3 May 2008 @ 15:39 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Oh hunny I had and I say had a b/f 4 5minutes that had this on his computor EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!It made me run a mile and not on all fours LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!fucking saddle me up! YEA IN YA DREAMS! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Posted on 3 May 2008 @ 18:16 (London time) - permalink
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birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

Yep, that would make me giddyup right on out of there! YeeHa!

Posted on 3 May 2008 @ 18:59 (London time) - permalink
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Susan Strict, posted over a year ago

Nay? (sp?)

Posted on 3 May 2008 @ 19:18 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

yee! ha! ride em cowboy!!!!whip whip!!!!!!!He had people dressed as dogs as well little leads on all fours with little doggy clothes on and that horse thingy you can actually buy hoofs!!!!!!Ive led a very sheltered life POOR ME HA! XXXXXXX

Posted on 4 May 2008 @ 12:17 (London time) - permalink
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birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

Here's a good one!

Kokigami! It's Origami, that Japanese paper folding art, but done with a cloth sash to adorn the penis for "mirthful, erotic role playing" and "afford prolonged unwrapping, as with gifts!". Was that what Michael Hutchins was up to? Or is that my going to hell moment for the day? An addendum to this is that it brings arts and crafts into the bedroom, and some of the nick names of this practice are Nippon Slip-on, Little Paper Costume, Art Dicko, Penis Cozy and Pornigami. I bet they do this with the towels on cruise ships if you tip the stewards...

Posted on 15 May 2008 @ 7:20 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

Birdy! That's a new one on me. Again, resorting to google images for kokigami, wow! Who knew there were so many ways to dress up a penis? And they are for sale! Barbie doll outfits are obviously just child's play :P.

Googling pornigami gives us little paper images of lots of sex positions, my goodness, I can barely manage to fold a letter straight, let alone dream up all the folds needed for these little crinkly works of art.

Posted on 15 May 2008 @ 14:30 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Pony Play? Pornigami? What happened to just cutting out those little 'paper stars' and 'paper dolls'???

Where have I been all my life? Oh I know...raising a family, and living a blissfully happy 'sheltered' in the suburbs. lol By the way, I found this site in regards to paper art...

http://www.iamboredr.com/media/455/Beautiful_Paper_Art/

Check it out..it's pretty cool.

Posted on 15 May 2008 @ 15:12 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

Irish, I had a look at the great paper art on the link you gave. It is amazingly clever and beautiful too.

Funny about the suburbs, here in my neck of the woods we've had a wife-beater, several divorces due to infidelity, a suicide, lost jobs, bad car accidents...not in my house, mind you, but goodness there is a whole lot of grief in this world.

Posted on 15 May 2008 @ 15:37 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

So true, Tisha...it is sad that there is so much heartache, even in seemingly good, stable homes. My home is not happy right now. I myself, am dealing with much grief over my teen son's poor choices in regards to friends and 'not' attending school. *sigh* He looks at me like I have 2 heads (I am the official bad guy! yikes) but a small price to pay, to keep him on track. Maybe someday one's rebellious teenagers will understand why we do what we do, to keep them healthy and happy. So yes, we stay strong and keep just plugging away at life the best way we can. Stay positive, all.

Posted on 15 May 2008 @ 17:38 (London time) - permalink
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BigSis, posted over a year ago

I couldn't hold out much longer, I just had to share these two questions I found in the Mod Room, which I unfortunately had to reject, otherwise our Andrew would have had me hung, drawn and quartered, had I let them go thru'.

"i am 15 years old i had sex with my girl friend and my pennis broke is that normal?... "

"is there a possibility that a nokia 6111 in a condom could cause damage when inserted into the anus..."

I still pish myself laughing thinking about them!! I've had to have a massive supply of tennas at the ready whenever I enter that room, as well as a protective cover for my laptop!

Posted on 15 May 2008 @ 17:52 (London time) - permalink
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BigSis, posted over a year ago

Did he mean his 'pen is broke'? or his 'penis broke'?

LOL!!

: ^ D

Posted on 15 May 2008 @ 17:56 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

BigSis, I thought we'd all agreed on posting a coffee spray alert before sharing some verrrryy choice items!!!!!

***still snorting with laughter***

I wonder if it snapped or if it wilted???

Posted on 15 May 2008 @ 18:1 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

"A nokia 6111 in a condom" inserted into the anus?? Ow, ow, ow!

Posted on 15 May 2008 @ 18:24 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

Ow ow ow indeed, Irish! And what if it rings? Or if redial is somehow activated? The mind reels...

Posted on 15 May 2008 @ 18:29 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

Irish, I know he'll look back on this in the not too distant future and thank you for being the 'bad guy' -- so chin up and keep on being the good mom!!!

Posted on 15 May 2008 @ 18:33 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Lovely words that I needed to hear. :) From my heart...thank you, Tisha. xxx

Posted on 15 May 2008 @ 18:37 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Oh believe me Irish hunny my son thanks me all the time now for hanging him on the coat hook so he couldnt get out the house...He has just finished a day of spring cleaning for me, And the other one has landed a new job that KNOCKED ME OUT!!!Not a plastic surgeon tho!!!!!Its tough hun being the bad guy but it works in the end and you have amazing strength..All my love to you XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Posted on 15 May 2008 @ 21:11 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Thak you, Mandy my sweet. While I feel like the "horridly, mean Mother" a lot, with my boy...I need to draw on your wonderful words of support. I will keep at it. He hates me a lot...but I know he will thank me someday for not giving up on him. Thanks again, Mandy, Hugs!!

Irishxx

Posted on 15 May 2008 @ 21:23 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

OOOOOh my son hated me "I HATE YOU" "Ohhhhhhhhh thats a shame cause I love you" "Im sleeping in a toilet somewere" "Thats nice at least you can pee" Between you n me hunny n the rest of the crew :) My son was up to no no no good! But your love never fails, No matter how many times they say they hate you its a strong word to a child but it hurts them to say it and its only said in pure frustration at not getting there own way..It never hurt me at all as what he was up to could have hurt him a whole lot more, So there!!!!!!And Im as stuborn as you buster! LOTS OF HUGS SWEETY SQUISHY ONES XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Posted on 16 May 2008 @ 10:40 (London time) - permalink
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