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Dear Cupid > Forums > Cupid's Lounge > where is Big Sis?

where is Big Sis?

, posted over a year ago

Due to family circumstances been away,

But back and here to stay!

Missed you lots,

Big Sis, do you need protection?

Your photo created lots of attraction

Phil, do you think she is okay?

Please keep the “dogs” at bay!

I have to say, be it as it may...

I missed you all.

Birdie can we sing?

You guys are great! Thumbs up! You rock!

Posted on 19 November 2008 @ 19:50 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Hey Mamma,

Hope you are doing fine.Hugs,Bugs

Posted on 19 November 2008 @ 20:55 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Thanks Bugs, I am am doing okay, missed you all more then what I can explain. Where is Big Sis? Are the guys swooping her off her feet now with the new avatar? Hmm, sexy photo... Hey, Phil, please can you be the body guard?

Birdy...please can we sing...Mamma..Mia...I ..2...3.. or what song do you prefer? Wow, I really can do with some positive input guys...

LOve you all, great to be back on the site..., but worried...where is Big Sis?

Posted on 19 November 2008 @ 21:19 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Please can you all sing Mamma Mia for my little sister...we have been offline due to some family problems...and yes...Birdie , Phil, Big SIs, we need you to support.

Posted on 19 November 2008 @ 21:21 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

I have sent her to bed, (my baby Sis) Mamma Mia, but Uncles and Aunts, Phil, Bugs, Big Sis, she needs your help and support now more then what she might admit. I know I can count on you. On DC it is a happy family...

I cannot say more, she will in her own time... thanks for being good friends.

Posted on 19 November 2008 @ 21:25 (London time) - permalink
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birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

Big Sis,

We've been all been having fun with your "Naughty Story" thread, but it isn't the same without you. Frankly, it's run aduck!!! Take good care of yourself and we hope we hear from you soon!!!

((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Posted on 19 November 2008 @ 23:18 (London time) - permalink
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pepper27, posted over a year ago

Hi Hunny Im singing and sending you both hugs ((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted on 20 November 2008 @ 8:32 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

TODAY I NEED LOTS OF HUGS. PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS.

My almost perfect world came tumbling down about two weeks ago. My husband arrived home and calmly announced he was leaving. I thought he was refering to yet another business trip, but soon realized he meant he was moving out. I was shocked and stunned. He told me that he could no longer keep the secret from me, that he was consumed with guilt for what he did and that he was going to move out of the house. I then heard about his affair with his secretary. I never suspected anything. I always thought and believed we had a very good and happy marriage. No fights, no arguments,good sexlife, great children, lovely home, financially comfortable. I don't understand, but it happened. I love him very much, we love each other very much. He wants us to try and save our marriage, but I am so lost and so confused. Sometimes I think yes, and other times I just cry and cannot believe this happened. It feels like a nightmare. We are going for counseling, to different people. I keep asking why?He is a good looking guy in his early 40's, could this be midlife crisis for him? He told me that it started one night after a function at the office. He wanted to stop many times but was like a spider in a web.

I am an attractive woman, I do take good care of myself. I am not a dull and boring person. We had a good social life and great friens. I supported him with his career and his sport. I have been (I thought) a great mother,wife and friend.But now I don't know, where did I go wrong? Was life just to good to be true. NO drama's no problems, no hassles.

Oh, I don't know what to think, I don't know what to do. It is almost as if this is just a dream, as if it is not real. However, I have to face the reality and I don't know which way to go. I know it will take time to heal, but I don't know in which direction to go. Any suggestions?

Posted on 20 November 2008 @ 11:21 (London time) - permalink
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pepper27, posted over a year ago

Oh sweetheart I can understand your pain only to well, I've been there, My husband cheated on me and was for the first time in our marriage quiet and distant. This to me was a sign that something was not right, I asked and I tried to get it out of him even saying that if he told me what was wrong we could work on it. But he couldn't bring himself to tell me, I told him to leave then I found out...If you want to talk privately about this love please message me as I no how this feels and I understand your pain 100% I to thought we had a good marriage we didn't argue, He would bring me little gifts nearly everyday there would be something waiting for me when I got home from work, He would write lovely little messages to me I couldn't understand at all we had been married a year that he did this, It was our first anniversary that he changed and didn't speak all day... YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS AND MY THOUGHTS WITH MUCH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Posted on 20 November 2008 @ 13:35 (London time) - permalink
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BigSis, posted over a year ago

Dearest Mammamia, BigSis has surfaced for you!!

I am so sorry for what's happened to you. You must be devastated.

First things first, my luv, DO NOT think that any of this is your fault. I'm certain, going by what you've told me, that you had nothing to do with your husband's infidelity.

Although your husband should have resisted temptation, the majority of blame goes on this other woman. He's proved to you that he loves you by wanting to save your marriage, it was a stupid moment of madness on his behalf and yes, I know he should have used his brain before his lust, but this other woman obviously offered it to him on a plate and he fell for it.

It's great that you're seeking counseling, hopefully this will help. Just give it time, and if you both genuinely love each other, then it will work, it will get better ~ providing you can forgive him.

Easier said than done, you say, and I know it's hard, forgiving...yes, forgetting...no.

I sincerely hope in my heart that you can work it out and would hate that that moment of madness on his behalf will be a stupid moment of the past, for your marriage's sake, your children's sake but most of all for your sake.

My darling, please try and be strong, and If I knew who this woman was I'd personally go and knock her out for you.

I personally believe if a man is led astray ~ it's always down to the woman. You see we have this amazing ability to tempt, so much so that amazingly enough to even tempt from a gay guy to the pope himself!

So like I said, stay strong and maintain good contact and good communication with your husband, don't let things get nasty, remain positive and time will tell AND heal itself.

I hope this has been of some comfort to you, and I want you to please let me know if what I've just said {in your opinion} is a load of 'bull' or had made sense.

Trust me when I say communication, contact and understanding is the key factor here.

I wish I could be near you so I could give you a massive squishy hug, I know as sure as hell that I need one at this very moment myself. But reading your message to me has actually stopped me wallowing in self pity and crying out loud like a baby, to crying inside for you.

Massive hugs and kisses to you Gabby.

Niki

(((((OXXXOXXXO)))))

Posted on 20 November 2008 @ 15:6 (London time) - permalink
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BigSis, posted over a year ago

Hope this makes you smile....

BigSis sat on a cushion,

"I'm much too fat," moaned she,

Who else could be so miserable?'

The cushion answered, "ME!!"

****

Some people have lisps,

Some people have sniffs,

Some people have snuffles and wheezes,

But no-one has anything quite to compare

With Auntie BigSis's sneezes!

****

They boom, they knock the bookshelves flat,

Whisk every whisker off the cat,

Start storms at sea and sudden squalls,

Make cracks, like spiders, run down walls,

****

Reduce the thickest rugs to rags,

Stream curtains out like battle flags,

Raise roofs, fuse lamps or smash a vase,

Stop dead the wheels of passing cars.

****

The last one blew poor Grandad's shirt

Clean off his back, while Grandma's skirt

Zipped out the door and next was seen

On someone's fence in Palmers Green.

****

And once, I heard a farmer say

A sneeze blew all his sheep away.

Here's BigSis now. Let's ask...oh, no!

Her nose is twitching...get down low!

****

ATCHOOO!

****

No, don't stand up! Keep under cover!

They come in couples. Here's the other!

AAAAAATCHOOOOOOO!!!

:o(

****

:o)

xXx

Posted on 20 November 2008 @ 15:15 (London time) - permalink
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birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

MamaMia,

I'm so terribly sorry for you and I am with BigSis here, if I could, I would come and bitch-slap the trollop for you. What a shocker. I hope you have friends and family close by. Do you? Indulge yourself, Now's the time to have some good crying jags, but also get out of the house and get some fresh air, make sure that you are eating well too. I'm guessing if your children are still home, that you have to keep in a normal routine, which helps.

As hard as things are right now, and even if your thinking is fuzzy, I really think you need to act quickly and start to make some serious plans for yourself and your children. Plans that include lawyers, support payments, finding the cash, getting new accounts and figuring out all your coverage. I would make sure that he only has visitation rights without the skank in the meanwhile. There's no point in the kids meeting her. And if all of this scares the pants off of him, well GOOD!!! He should have thought of that before!

I am a fan of yours, and I've read many of your answers. You seem like such a lovely woman, it just pushes every single one of my buttons that he has done this! So stupid! And you can just bet that he will be whining and complaining at some future point about the mistake that he has made, but he still had to go there. OOOOHHHH! Mad, so, mad. Angry. WTF is wrong with women like that? Why are they so fucking ruthless? They don't have hearts or souls, and they justify their actions using EVERY pathetic, whiney excuse in the book. They would feel a lot different if it were happening to their Mom, or sister, or daughter, but they just think about themselves.

I hope that he makes good with his promise to get into counseling with you, but I would add that "He should not be seeing Her" to the mix, because it's not going to do any good if he's still seeing her. I'm so sorry, and you are in my thoughts and prayers. Feel free to write anytime, Hun.

Birdy

XXX

SO PISSED OFF!!!!!

Posted on 20 November 2008 @ 18:32 (London time) - permalink
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pepper27, posted over a year ago

SO PISSED OFF TO HUN!!!!!!!!(((((((((BIG HUGS SWEETHEART)))))))))))))))))))))))) XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Posted on 20 November 2008 @ 18:41 (London time) - permalink
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Heike, posted over a year ago

Dear Mama Mia,

The most important things that I hear you saying is "He wants us to try and save our marriage" and that you both love each other. It sounds as if the foundation of your marriage is based on a mutually positive relationship. If you can forgive his actions, it will be work to discover why he made the choices that he did and how to rebuild trust.

Assuming the relationship with the secretary has ended, I do not believe that she is a relevant factor in healing your relationship. Your husband broke his commitment to you, not the secretary. It is not important what her reasons were or who she is, she is not the problem.

I feel I am rooting for you, as based on what you say, your marriage sounds worth saving! You have a lifetime of shared experiences and history that can survive this hurt. It is true, GOOD people do make mistakes.

Blessings and warm wishes of hope,

Heike

Posted on 20 November 2008 @ 19:48 (London time) - permalink
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Heike, posted over a year ago

Dear Mama Mia,

PS....

Here are some links to support:

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/

http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/question/quick_answer/recover_affair.html

I hope that you have loved ones to reach out to and the self assurance to strive for what you believe you and your family deserve.

xoxo

Heike

Posted on 20 November 2008 @ 19:58 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

THANK YOU ALL

For all your loving support. It means so much to me, I do not have words to express how grateful I am. You are wonderful friends and I am so happy to be able to call you my friends. Thanks for all your advice, the hugs and for being there for me.

I have been smiling and crying and yes, you are helping me more then the counselor who is trying but for some reason I don't like him and feel uncomfortable in his presence. His eyes, the way he looks at me...it gives me the creeps. Shivers down mine spine. Almost like a teacher with a school kid that has done something wrong...akward. Strange I never liked that woman either, something about her...I warned him when she was employed...my words to him was..."warn the male staff...she is a "cock teaser". Little did I know that he would be the victim for her bate!

Oh, I forgot to mention, when he told the secretary that he told me about them,and that she will be transfered to another department, she resigned. She is finishing work tomorrow. He wants me to come into the offices as from Monday, to help out untill mid December when the offices are closing for the Christmas holidays. I am not sure, it might be a good idea, but I don't know if I could handle that yet.

The kids are busy with exams and I have not told them much. They think he is away on business, but he is collecting them tomorrow to take them to our holiday house for the weekend. He invited me to come along, but I declined. I need the time on my own. With the kids around I have been trying my best to keep things as normal as possible. However they noticed I am not myself and yes, with red eyes and a red nose,(difficult to blame it on a cold), but I am trying.

I love him, I am missing him, but sometimes it is still not real to me. I think I could probably forgive, but I don't think I will ever forget. Part of me thinks that hopefully he learned a lesson and part of me is worried, will this happen again?

My sister(Smiles) have been of great assistance. She arranged counseling for us and also a meeting for me with lawyers to get some legal advice. I cannot handle the thought of divorce, but at least I know where how and what. He wants to come back home and I said I will decide over the weekend. The last two weeks have been a nightmare. I am so happy for this site and that I have meet such wonderful friends here. Once again, thanks to all of you. Josephine Hart said it so well:"We do have a choice, but not without some agony".

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

Posted on 20 November 2008 @ 20:23 (London time) - permalink
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eyeswideopen, posted over a year ago

Well I still have all those butt plugs, I could get some super glue and track that secretary down and fix it so her trollop days are permanently over...what say?

Posted on 20 November 2008 @ 20:59 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Great idea, I like that! (lol)

Posted on 20 November 2008 @ 21:27 (London time) - permalink
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birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

Hi MamaMia,

I didn't read this article before pasting it, but my husband read this story in MacLeans Magazine (Canada's Time Mag) and The View covered the same story yesterday. Thought it might be of interest.

Hugs,

Birdy XXX

http://www.macleans.ca/article.jsp?content=20080924_66565_66565&source=srch

Posted on 21 November 2008 @ 0:38 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Thanks Birdy,

It is a very interesting article. I am amazed.

Posted on 21 November 2008 @ 1:3 (London time) - permalink
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pepper27, posted over a year ago

Hi everyone big sis is still not well, Lets give her all the love and prayers, in the mean time she has sent something for you all with love sis......

http://www.fugly.com/audio/382/HorseRace.html

Posted on 30 November 2008 @ 18:18 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Big Sis is someone who has a big heart and I wish her well and thanks for her always kind words of comfort and support.

I send my hugs to you and hope you are smiling.

*hugs*

Posted on 1 December 2008 @ 0:26 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Hey BigSis,

Please get well soon!

Prayers and Love,Bugs

Posted on 4 December 2008 @ 16:24 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Big Sis

We are missing you. Get well soon or we will have to send the DC emergency to go look for you(lol).

Lots of hugs!!!!

Posted on 4 December 2008 @ 20:50 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

Hope you're well, BigSis. I'm thinking about you!!!

xxx

Posted on 4 December 2008 @ 21:0 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

I hear BigSis has a chest infection. Big, big problem, that.

I hope she gets well soon though. Her little poems and limericks seem to make the days run more smoothly.

Get outta your pit sis! Half a pint of Captain Morgan should poison the bugger! And if that doesn't work, have another one.

Posted on 4 December 2008 @ 21:7 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Big Sis

Hope this happy get-well note

Adds sunshine to your day-

And shows you that you're thought of

In a warm and special way

Lots of hugs and smiles!

Posted on 5 December 2008 @ 14:55 (London time) - permalink
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