| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: What's up with my boyfriend's obvious double-standard? It seriously makes me angry!Yesterday I went over to my boyfriend's. I had to take a cab. I arrived late, and he was upset... but he got downright angry when he looked at my chest. I was wearing cleavage.I did this for him. I love dressing up sexy for him! But he told me he didn't like me dressing like a "whore". That he didn't like other men checking me out.I asked him then if he checks out other girls in skimpy tops. He said he notices them. I asked him if he enjoys the view. He said that, well, yeah, he does. But that has nothing to do 'cause their not his girlfriends, and also he wouldn't date them, because they like exposing themselves. Still, I pointed out, you check them out. They also have more obvious cleavage than me. I have modest B cups, yes, I was showing some cleavage but not like most girls I see wearing cleavage who have Ds. Which, lo and behold, are his favourite size!So I don't get it, first, he prefers bigger tits, second, he can look as much as he likes and third, I have to dress like a nun around him?My soulitons are 1) He stops checking out other women (ridiculous and unlikely) or 2) He just accepts that I like feeling like a sexy woman from time to time and that just as he looks at other girls and it means nothing, other men are going to chek me out and it'll mean absolutely NOTHING! I can't help who checks me out. And I guess this happens whether you're walking around naked or dressed in a huge parka, people will check you out.Later we made up and he tried to use this lame excuse "It's just you're so hot that I want that for my eyes only, if you weren't this hot I wouldn't care other men looking at you..." Yeah, right. And he likes bigger breasts anyway, way to make me feel adequate anyway!What can I do? Whenever we're in public and a huge breasted women walks by in a skimpy top, I feel awful, because my modest ones don't look quite as sexy. Especially since he likes Ds.I wouldn't dump him over this, but still it makes me feel unsexy... and he thinks I'm making a hge deal over nothing.
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female
reader, Miss Potter  +, writes (1 November 2008):
 You are making a huge deal over nothing. If breast size was something crucial for him (and there are men that like big breasts so much that theyve broke up with their flat chest gfs just because they couldnt turn them on) so, just get over the fact that you have b cups, they will get bigger when you will have kids, and thats when it will become an advantage, because people that have b cups will have d cups and people who had d cups will end up having F cups...
Anyway, over the clothes - I think you should wear whatever you like if its not too revealing. If he wants a nun then he should get one. Or a muslim.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2008): Since when did you have to dress like he says, your parents wouldn't do that now so why should he. I bet he probably doesn't like you going out with the girls driving on your own etc etc. Of course there is nothing wrong with him looking at other girls (if he wants you all to himself then you should demand the same)
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (1 November 2008):
 Based on your description, your boyfriend is a "control freak," and you may as well get used to it. This is likely just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak, meaning that it will probably get worse. He may eventually use violence to get his way and maintain control over you - and it really has little if anything to do with boobs and cleavage. Hopefully you will soon see additional outbursts and control issues in time to get out of the situation.
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