A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have a girlfriend. i had sex for first time but she was not so much satisfied. my penis size is 5.5" is it normal? and i ejaculate early. so natural ways to stop my early ejaculation?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2011): Your gf may not know what she needs to be pleased, herself. Really, this is far more common than you might think. She might be afraid to tell you what she wants, needs, and fantasizes about. In order to get there, both of you need time with each other and practice with each other, and trust in each other. That takes a lot of time, talk, and effort to develop and that is how to get really great sex, on both ends.
I think that one of the more harmful things women, with all good intentions can say are things like the below.
"It isn't the size of your penis, it's how you use it."
"I knew a man with a small penis once who had learned the right tricks to compensate....."
Compensate with what, a large car, a huge income, a massive ego, an explosive abusive personality, a.......?
The truth is that you don't make love to a woman with your penis, that is just how you get her pregnant. You make love to her with your entire body, and you make love to her entire body, not just her vagina.
Also, you are young and looking for help, but unfortunately there are a lot of people on these posting lines who will say really damaging things, or things that you might take the wrong way.
BTW, size wise, stop measuring....
You don't measure up by penis size, you measure up by the whole picture. Plus, if a woman is that caught up in penis size that it is an issue, and the whole package is damned by that one thing, then she's really fucked up, doesn't know what it means to love someone, and is not someone you want to be with.
Also, there are plenty of women in this world who will think your penis is to large. Your are probably mid range, assuming you know how to use a measuring tape, and there are plenty of women who find even a mid range penis a bit of a tight fit for a while.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 April 2011):
 Wowie zowie I almost DID miss this question, CC! It is always my daily little piece of sunshine.
OP you are normal (yawn) and you should think about baseball while having sex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2011): your girlfriend may just be hard to please in the bedroom ;) but dont worry once you have been with someone long enough you get to know what each other likes. Learn other ways of pleasing your girlfriend with your mouth and fingers etc... your penis size is completely normal. a big cock is always good but not if the person doesn't know how to use it. sometimes it can even be uncomfortable.
If you want some good positions then doggy style is a good one for deep penetration. Or if she lies on her front and you get on top of her, also if she lies on her back and you get on top and she keeps her legs flat on the bed (this is a good position for both of you)
as for the early ejaculation... dont worry, after a while you will be able to teach yourself how to go for longer! there are special lubes and condoms you can get to make you last longer but i would say the best way would be to please her for a while with your mouth and fingers before actually having intercourse. then if you feel like you are going to come too soon then pull out and tease her a little!! ;) she will love it trust me!! there are ways around everything!
But try to remember sex isnt just about feeling good and orgasms etc, it is the feeling of complete closeness and being as one, connecting in the most intimate way possible!!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 April 2011):
 Our expert on penis questions is Aunt Eyeswideopen, I hope she won't have to miss this one :)
Anyway,in her absence, yes, your size is normal, average and perfectly adequate.
As for ejaculating early, if that was your first time, that's very normal too, what with the nerves and performance anxiety and the big thrill of your first time, it happens often and you can expect it to happen again for a few more times . After which you'll probably feel more comfortable, and able to "time" yourself and last longer.
If you should not, yes, there are tricks you can try, like masturbating an hour or two before intercourse, and other stuff, but let's see first if the problem goes away naturally as it is likely , otherwise...come back to us.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 April 2011):
 It's not the size as you know, it's how you use it. Your size is quite normal. But since she was your first girlfriend I will assume the reason she was not satisfies is that you do not have much experience with women and how to treat her in bed.
Being good in bed is either something you are by nature, or something you learn. If you are a selfish lover your partner will never be pleased, no matter how much experience you have. Because a selfish lover is never eager to learn. A giving and generous lover will seek to please, learn, and pleasure his partner above pleasuring himself/herself. It is also about being able to let go completely and just do what you want, what feels good, and not hold back. The sexiest thing I know is when a man wants me and shows it. So being good in bed, and satisfying a woman, is about body language, how you behave and act, how eager you are to learn, how quickly you catch on to new things and movements, etc. Some people just naturally click and have great sex from day 1, some never have good sex together no matter how hard they try, and many just have to work on it to figure out what works for them.
Your ex girlfriend not getting satisfies doesn't have to mean anything. It just means you and her didn't get along sexually. But who knows, with your next girlfriend you might be her best lover, the best sexual experience she's ever had, and you could be having a great sex life and somehow your pre-ejaculation might not even be a problem with your next girlfriend.
But, back to the pre-ejaculation. With experience you will learn how to control that. Good ways to hold back is to stop the sex and take a little break, or cum beforehand so that you will last longer the second round. Or think of unsexy thing, such as old wrinkly people, puppies, rainbows, you name it. Whatever is unsexy to you: think of it and it should calm you down.
Are you able to stay hard after ejaculating? Are you able to get hard again within 10 minutes after an ejaculation for example? Can you take a second round? If so, coming fast the first time isn't a problem. I once had a boyfriend who was great in bed, he could come pretty fast the first round. Once he came after half a minute! But then after a little break of a few minutes (we spent that time cuddling or having oral sex), he'd get hard again and we just continued. It wasn't a problem.
If none of that is possible, having lots of other types of sex before penetration, or after penetration, could do the trick. Remember that penetration with the penis in the vagina is only one type of sex. Use the other types to make sex last longer, even if penetration doesn't last for long. Make up for it in other areas (kisses, oral sex, fingering, cuddling, toys, massages etc).
Good luck!
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