A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My best mate treats me like crap..ive tried so hard for my mate and my boyfriend to be friends so i can have both the people i love around me and i want to spend time with him and my boyfriend at the same time ..but hes just being so stubborn..he didnt even come out for my birthday party cos he knew my boyfriend would be there he said that i dont want to hang out in place where i dont like someone...i felt really upset and stressed cos ofc i wanted both there.My sister said he aint a proper mate to meNow my mate wont hardly see me cos he knows im still with my boyfriend and my boyfriend says im much better without him cos all the things he did to me ...i mean what kinda friend would try make out with you when he knows full well i have a boufriend .Was it a good idea to let him go as a friend ? i do miss him somtimes but then i think back to all the stuff he did to me Reply to this Question
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female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (27 January 2011):
 hi
this guy might have been your friend once, but now unfortunately he has developed feelings for you and is jealous that you have a boyfriend, he is doing all he can to make you feel awkward being stuck in the middle of your BF and him. he is making life uncomfortable for you.
its a shame because he must be hurting a lot and maybe feels abandoned by you. if you still want him as a friend, you could do with having a talk to him, let him know you understand but also make HIM understand that you will not be made to feel like the bad guy just coz you have got a boyfriend now and tell your mate he will just have to come to peace with it. be firm but fair
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): Yeah the guy wanted you and he can't handle that another guy has you.
The end result is that for your benefit, your boyfriends benefit and this "friends" benefit. You don't contact or speak to this "friend" again. You now what he wants and he's being absolute asshole, that keeps trying to make you cheat on your boyfriend.
If I was your boyfriend and I found out he tried this crap I would knock him on his ass.
Ditch the fool and never be friends with him again, he's only after one thing and when he doesn't get that he becomes forceful and bitter. The guy is a fool.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (27 January 2011):
 Yes, you did the right thing. He wasn't a friend at all. He didn't WANT to be your friend I think, he wanted to be your BF.
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A
female
reader, auntieloulou +, writes (27 January 2011):
 well you definately did the right thing in letting him go as a friend! if you don't have feelings for him and are happy with your boyfriend than there is no use for him in your life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah and also my mate was also really mean to be..and used to take the mick out of me being with my boyfriend and he always got drunk and always tried to kiss me and i said no ..cos A) Im in love with my boyfriend and b) how odd will it be if i did cos i was sober and he was drunk i will have to live with knowing what i did and that would make me feel like our friendship cant go back to normal :(I saw him in the pub last friday and he hardly spoke to me cos ofc i was with my boyfriend but im not planning on just leaving what i was doing with my boyfriend just to speak to someone who chose to upset one of his best mate so i think i did the right thing and hes the kind of person whos just so hard to speak to cos he thinks about himself and thats it
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A
female
reader, auntieloulou +, writes (27 January 2011):
Your friend was massively jealous of your boyfriend and obviously did not want you as a friend, he wanted you as a girlfriend. you did the right thing by letting him go as a friend as his intentions were wrong. you can't be best friends with someone who has feelings for you, it makes it awkward when you are in a relationship. tell him how you feel and that you know he likes you, make your feelings clear (you like your boyfriend and are with him) and see what he says. good luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 January 2011):
Your friend was never a friend. Yes, you did the right thing getting rid of him.
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A
male
reader, HelpyMcHelperson +, writes (27 January 2011):
I'm ashamed to admit it but I've been in this situation before, and I played the part of the jealous best mate (I even tried to kiss her once), she was never going to be friends with me again but thanks to her boyfriend we had a talked where I gave an apology and our friendship was salvaged.
From this experience I can say that situations like this can be fixed but you have to make sure he is willing to say sorry and sincerely move past the jealously that is bugging him.
At the end of the day you should have good friends who will support you, if you think he can be a good friend again go for it, if not well done for getting read of him.
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A
male
reader, Azza +, writes (27 January 2011):
Sounds like he was only your friend to get closer to you and to become your boyfriend. They don't get one because of jealously, he is just trying to make you choose between them both thinking that he would ultimately break you up with your boyfriend. I think your better off without him.
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