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Should I ask new BF to let me measure his manhood?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 July 2022) 5 Answers - (Newest, 10 July 2022)
A female United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

There is a thing in my friend group right now where the girls are comparing their boyfriend’s size like a dare where everyone is supposed to personally measure it while their guy is having an erection. They have gotten very detailed with the rules on this. I am not even sure what the prize it. Probably nothing. There is no way to know if the person is telling the truth on their own guy. Only two of the boyfriends have cooperated so far. I know this is a stupid peer pressure thing, but I am thinking about asking my boyfriend. We have only been dating 4 weeks but he said he has been crushing on me for years so he might actually be willing to do it if I ask. He admitted he is eager to get physical but is naturally shy (which is why it took him so long to ask me out) and I told him I want to go slow on intimacy. Asking to see his boner so I can measure it is definitely not slow. Do you think he will understand it is a girl dare contest and not read into it that I want to have sex when I still want to wait on that? Should I just make up a number that is impressive or maybe average? Would he get his feelings hurt if he finds out about this later and I never asked to see and measure him? Do boys like getting measured or will he be nervous how he compares? I wonder how many girls are just going to lie. I thought about saying something stupid like my ruler was not long enough so I gave up and just blow it off like a joke. Or just ask him and trust what he tells me on his size? All this talk about how big the boys are down there does have me curious but I also understand that this is immature. He is one year younger than most of the guys but he is just as tall and has definitely gone through puberty. While I am only guessing from seeing him in some wet cotton shorts when he went swimming without a swimsuit, I think he might be decently sized but I have no idea really. I am embarrassed to post this but since it is secret identity just going to do it.

View related questions: crush, erection, immature, shy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2022):

You've proven that you're not mature enough to even be messing around with sex. Measuring a guy's junk?

Girlfriend, seriously?!!

I volunteer here to answer all sorts of questions; and try to place myself in the OP's shoes. I use my wisdom and experience, and do research, to give sensible answers. I can also tell when an OP is in over their heads. You're the poster-child for that! You need more adult-supervision!

Girls on the brink of self-harm come here upset; because of the standards and expectations placed upon them that they cannot meet. They are envious of girls they believe to be beautiful; or have all the physical-traits they don't. They have eating-disorders, anxiety disorders, and body dysmorphia; because of the unreachable and impossible standards placed on them by social media, guys, the fashion and cosmetics industry, TV, and the movie industry. You're here talking about measuring a guy's thing!!!

You need to grow-up a little, shed some of your immaturity! Wait until you know what you're doing; before exposing yourself to something as serious as sex, and messing-around with the genitals of boys! It's not child's play!

Nobody owes you any special privilege to judge the size of his penis! If you were mature enough, you'd realize that guys in your age-group are still growing; and most humans don't really reach physical maturity until we're about 22! By what standards do you measure, and who are you anyway to judge???

Child, please!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2022):

Women have been fighting for decades to be taken as whole human beings and not just a sum of their body parts.

So, how is you reducing your boyfriend to the length of his penis even remotely okay?

I see that you're young and peer pressure to do stupid and hurtful things is strong, but it's time to be an adult, as I'm sure you tell your parents you are.

Your boyfriend has been crushing on you for years? This may well change how he sees you. As someone with no thought as to how this would feel for him. As someone who's weak and bends to all kinds of pressure to do things that you KNOW are wrong.

And whilst your telling your girlfriends that you won't be partaking in this game, tell them also that women have fought long and hard to not be treated this way, so you're not going to be responsible for partaking in this extremely immature behaviour.

Also asking him to get hard so you can measure him, (yeuch) and then try to tell him that you want to go slow on intimacy is ridiculous.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (8 July 2022):

Honeypie agony aunt

EVERY man out there worries about not being big enough, thick enough, or whatever standard PORN tells them their penis should be, do you really think they want their GF to measure them so they can TELL all their friends?

Are you serious? Did you hit your head or something?

"Do you think he will understand it is a girl dare contest and not read into it that I want to have sex when I still want to wait on that?"

No.

Would you want a new BF you want to measure your vagina? So he can tell his buddies about how big or small it is?

Your little game with your female friends is ridiculous, immature, and stupid. Sounds like something a group of Kindergartners would think of.

" Do boys like getting measured or will he be nervous how he compares? "

They might like to "LIE" (aka brag) to each other and compare in the locker room but ONLY if they are NOT the smaller one.

" Should I just make up a number that is impressive or maybe average?"

No, you should tell whoever decided on this stupid "let's compare the boys penis lengths that you aren't playing this juvenile game and that your BF matters more to you than the length of his penis, be it short or long.

"Would he get his feelings hurt if he finds out about this later and I never asked to see and measure him?"

ASK him. Tell him my group of stupid friends do this dumbass thing where they try and compete with EACH OTHER on who's BF has the longest ding-dong - I don't want to be part of that "game" but how would you feel about that?

Don't be lame, OP. Don't fall to peer pressure. Just because your group of friends decides on some asinine game doesn't mean you have to participate. What if they decide they should all get pregnant? Or jump of a bridge? Yea?

I know you are young, but you need to use that brain of yours. Common sense.

Would you want the whole high school to know your measurements? Breast size, ass, or vagina? Do you really think that is helpful to ANYONE?

At the end of the day, HIS body is HIS. It's not for you to SHARE his measurement for shits and giggles.

" All this talk about how big the boys are down there does have me curious but I also understand that this is immature."

I get curiosity. But there is being curious and then there is being malicious and stupid.

As a mom to 3 daughters, Grow up. Do better, Be better.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2022):

Aw are you serious or are you making fun of us ? In a way I hope it's the second one because this would be the dumbest and grossest dare I have ever heard about. I know that you are only 16 or 17 and of course one makes allowances for that, yet it is never too early to show some class. This is just a game ,ok, but you do not have necessarily to join in it ; it's not fun, it's just tacky , ( plus it perpetuates the very machoist,oldfashioned and misinformed idea that having a longer penis makes someone a better male specimen and a more desirable ,fulfilling lover )- you can say that you do not want to do it ,and/or your bf does not want to do it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2022):

The person who started this female dare is manipulative!

It's personal and private how a guy looks or feels when he is aroused.

Why does this manipulative person have a hold over you?

You are under no obligation to comply.

It's time to tell the person who started the "dare" to shove off because it's no business of hers.

She will probably say 'Aw ..it's just a game!'

So I suspect the whole thing is a sham.

No one is measuring any ones anything.

It is a mindless thing to do and the idea is bizarrely immature.

Don't be conned into stupid dares!

You need to be able to say :no!

If you simply have to comply just make up a random number.

But I think the best thing is to either find better friends or have the grace to say that you don't intend to treat anyone like a piece of meat!

Has it crossed your mind that everyone has a personality and no two personalities are exactly the same!

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