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She has also made up so much crap about me that I find it hard to believe she was at one point my wife...

Tagged as: Breaking up, Marriage problems, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 November 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 28 November 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, *ohn-lee writes:

I have been married for four years and my wife and I broke up some two months ago. At first she wanted me to stay with friends for a while as to give ourselves a break, but still being husband and wife. I soon found out that she was starting to go out with friends and have our two children looked after over night by her mother. I confronted her about this and she seemed very nasty about what she wanted.

Only now have I found out that she has been seeing somebody else. And she's put it all out on Face Book which breaks me completely.

I wish she could have been more open about what she wanted..... And I don't think cared too much about how I might feel.

She has also made up so much crap about me that I find it hard to believe she was at one point my wife... How do I move on from this??

View related questions: a break, broke up, move on

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2008):

Hi

You can move on by this by NOW KNOWING what a lucky escape you have had...imagine years later! at least you are still nice and young and have a life time ahead of you, to start again. She has lied and disrespected you and that is bad betrayal in my eyes your well shot.

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A female reader, Asked Angel United Kingdom +, writes (28 November 2008):

Asked Angel agony auntI'm not trying to stick up for your wife but maybe she is hurt to about your break up.

It is incredibly hard to stay friend's after the end of a relationship, as you have found out, if one person moves on and start's seeing someone else. Somebody usually get's very hurt in these situations.

Maybe she didn't know how to tell you about this new guy and thought putting it there you would see it and have to deal with it.

As for making crap up about you, again maybe she is hurt and confused about what has happened and wants to do the same to you.

As you have children together you have to eventually have some sort of a relationship with each other and be civil for you childrens sake.

I hope this helps but i'm afraid the only one who can really give you the answers is your wife.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2008):

It may be worth asking her why she did all this as it sounds like there are some hidden resentments. Sometimes people find it hard to air their grievances to a partner. Without knowing you, I don't know whether she has real reason to be afraid of you, or whether the problem comes from her.

What might help you both, whatever the outcome, is to talk about this. Tell her also how it hurt you, which may encourage her to tell you things that hurt her, which it sounds like she isn't voicing.

Even if you still remain separated, the talking about it will probably help you in the future. We don't all see ourselves the way others see us.

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A female reader, Honeygirl South Africa +, writes (28 November 2008):

Honeygirl agony auntSweetie, you must remember that soon-to-be-ex's will say and do horrible things to the ones they used to love. I have a friend whos wife spread rumours about him having affairs thats why she was divorcing him, well the truth came out that she in fact was having numerous affairs! You must remember that people will listen to what she has to say [human nature!] but your true friends who really know what you are like will not believe a word of what she says.

It is very sad when a marriage breaks up, and I suggest you see a counsellor to help you to cope with the various emotions you are going to encounter.

Honeygirl

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