A
female
age
30-35,
*abigurl0497
writes:My mom has been talking to this guy for months on this christian dating site, the other night he asked her some personal questions, and was talking dirty to her! She just recently got a divorce from my step-dad of 10 years, she's cried herself to sleep every night since! Since she's been talking to this guy on the christian site she's been sleeping more and crying less, but since she found out he was a jerk like most other guys, she's been crying ALOT more, and I just want to know if there is any way that I can help her??ANY HELP IS APPRECIATEDTHANKS!!!!!!!!
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female
reader, babigurl0497 +, writes (26 July 2010):
babigurl0497 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well, thanks, I guesss, but she claims she doesn't need or want help
soooooo oh I don't no anymore, I mean I love her but she's kinda driving me crazy!!!!!!!!
:'(
A
female
reader, beautifuldisaster0317 +, writes (26 July 2010):
It is so great that you so much about your mom. You should try to help her by maybe talking her through her emotions and letting them out. If this doesnt work you can talk to her about getting help for her emotional problems. After your step dad left she mist likely got depressed. Try to get her help for that without the anti-depressants first. Just being there for her may help. Again its great that you have concern, I hooe this helped.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010): I know what you're feeling is total concern and upset for your Mum, but please remember, you cannot shield your Mum from every eventuality in life, including online dating and coming across guys who are really just dysfunctional emotionally and in every-way. It is NOT the internet as such, just that it is a platform where one can have access to anybody, anywhere that is the problem. It is NOT SELECTIVE.
Your Mum is very obviously still suffering from her divorce from your Step-Dad, and no doubt, in need of a boost to her self-esteem and the female need to feel desired and attractive to the opposite sex - This is all very normal.The fall-out of this consequently, is she has had a bad experience, we all have them at one time or another, whether ONLINE or OFF-LINE. meeting someone through friends or whatever.
So try to understand this is quite a normal part of life, opposed to being something scary. I agree with DrPsyche, your Mum really needs to remain single until she has worked her way through the emotional minefield of post divorce syndrome. Again normal, so just be there for her, get her to talk about how she feels, bottling up emotions never helps - if you do, they become HUGE TRUNKS of emotional baggage that prevent one from moving on gaining real closure from a previous heartbreaking relationship.
Obviously if her crying becomes part of life, as in a regular occurrence, not just after a disappointment from a guy letting her down, then she needs to be gently encouraged to seek outside assistance. Perhaps she is suffering from depression, so therefore seeing her GP would be a good start.
But remember, anti-depressant pills are great, they can change the hormone in your brain to tell you to feel more upbeat, but that still MISSES the real problem, the ROOT of the problem, and for that one needs to talk and establish what it is, so keep this in mind. And what a lovely daughter you are to be so caring to come on here and ask for help.
Just keep doing what you're doing - being a SUPPORT and caring, and I'm sure things will work out for you, and YOUR Mum.
Jilly x
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (25 July 2010):
 It sounds like your mother is very depressed. She needs to see a doctor for a clinical assessment. Perhaps you could coax her to go, and attend with her for support. I think she should definitely leave the murky world of internet dating alone until she is less upset. Looking for a man on the net to make it all better is not going to work, and as her recent experience shows there are many users in cyberspace after one thing! If she is depressed then she is vulnerable to exploitation. She really needs to remain single until she has emotionally recovered from the split. If she starts taking anti-depressants then it may help her recover. Lots of people hate being described as 'depressed' because of the stigma of mental illness. It is a terribly common disorder though and often goes undiagnosed. Perhaps you could suggest a visit to the doctor for a check up because of her 'stress' and take it from there.
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