A
female
age
41-50,
*9agegap
writes:Hi, what should I do.I just broke up with my bf, we were together for 3months. At first it was happy then he got stressed with work and we both dunno how to handle it He needed space while I felt neglected but we both tried to work it out.Over the weekend, we went to church and a pastor gave us a talk about christian courtship. Basically we realized that we jumped into the relationship without realy knowing each other well and we think probably that's why we have all these problems.He suggested that we take a step back, start off on a clean slate and be good friends for now. Wants me to continue going church with him and hang out as friends etc...We both still like each other so it's very difficult. However, he did mention that he found it very stressful that he couldn't give me what I need and not match up to my expectations. E.g. I like him to contact everyday while i'm his first serious gf in years and he said he's not used to that.I thought we could work it out as long as we're together but given the religion issues, he wants us to stay friends for now. He said he wants to find God first......What do you think? Is he trying to have his cake and eat it too? Besides, he's moving overseas in a few months.I do like him a lot too, but it just seems so tough and confusing..........ThanksS
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (23 February 2009):
If he's moving overseas in a few months then this is either a doomed relationship or he wants you to be his long distance girlfriend and let me tell you, that is NOT fun.
If you like closeness and contact every day then you will hate only speaking once a week and never seeing him.
I think he's trying to do the right thing, but you have to ask yourself now if it's worth giving this a shot.
I don't see how he is having his cake and eating it when you guys are just friends at the moment. As long as you don't do anything physical with him then he will have good reason to make his mind up sharpish as he'll want you.
Have a LONG hard think about where this could go long term and if it will be worth the heartbreak of him leaving after you've fallen for him.
Good Luck!! xx
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