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My ex boyfriend hates me for no reason

Tagged as: Health, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 November 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 7 November 2016)
A female Ireland age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi

My ex boyfriend hates me for no reason. He changed into a very nasty horrible person after he admitted he was taking tablets I think for depression. Sex went out the window as well I thought he was cheating but he said it was medication. I was always very loving and caring to him he was a thoughtful and nice boyfriend the best I had or so I believed. He split up with me as well out of the blue and hasn't spoken to me in 7 weeks we had rows before but he always came back soon but not this time. He has a court case coming up to w where he has involved in a bar brawl which he got assaulted I don't know if this is stressing him out and he's taking out on me. He wasn't like this before he was on medication. I think he would rather be and talk to strangers than a loving kind girlfriend about his worries. He absolotuly hates me and can't bear me and I have done nothing wrong. I also think he might have bipolor or something like that . I was with him nearly 2 years. And this has only happened in the last two months what could it be that changed him.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (7 November 2016):

Honeypie agony auntAmen to Cindy,

I doubt he hates you, but he just doesn't WANT to talk to his EX-GF (you) and that is not really all that strange.

The split might have to do with whatever is going on, but you need to let it go and move on. He has issues he doesn't WANT to share with you and deal with on his own, so let him. HE is a grown man.

Find someone who DOESN'T hide things from you. Like mental issues etc.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (7 November 2016):

eyeswideopen agony auntCindy is right (again). I also don't think he "hates" you but right now he is busy working on his own personal issues. The key word is personal and he needs the space to do that. You have made it abundantly clear that you are still there for him so leave it be. He may never take you up on the offer but down the line perhaps you may be friends but I am pretty sure the girlfriend ship has sailed. It's time to get on with your own life.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (7 November 2016):

CindyCares agony aunt I don't think he " hates " you. Why would you say that ? Just because he does not want to talk to you ? Well.. you are his ex. He left you. Some people choose to stay " friends " with their exes- and some do not see what's the point at all. If he had wanted to talk to you every day, and share his thoughts and mind state with you etc.... then he would not have dumped you to begin with !

I guess he is the type that when something is over, it's over. Particularly if in these 7 weeks you have done repeated attempts to communicate, have closure, hash it out otr whatnot.

He does not feel like doing it , and the more you should push the more he 'll pull away.

Let him steam in his own juices, at least for a good while - what he does wants feels etc, is no skin off your nose anymore. You are kind to be concerned about him and want to lend a helping hand or a friendly ear- but, if for whatever reason he is not receptive- enough. Let him be and move on. For your own sake and for his too. Love is not chicken broth, you can't shove it down people's throats because it would be so good for them.

If then what you are asking is WHY he left you- well of course you are better equipped to answer than any of us. It may have to do with his medications, his depression, his bipolar disease, his generally being out of whack mentally and emotionally. AND / OR it was something that you had coming anyway , you just could not see it . You say you had rows before but he always came back, which would indicate there was on off and on pattern between you, that in just two years you split up several times, although for a short time.

Sorry, but, guess what ; people who row often, who often break up and patch up- EVENTUALLY, sooner or later, and more sooner than later, break up for good. For lack of compatibility. Of course if you add to an unstable mix also depression, or substance abuse, or troubles with the law ... the demise of the relationship happens faster.

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