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My boyfriend seems more interested in his XBOX than in me

Tagged as: Dating, Faded love, Social Media, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 February 2018) 3 Answers - (Newest, 24 February 2018)
A female United Kingdom age 18-21, *eimante.x writes:

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 8 months now and we have a really strong bond . Well we used to.

He used to always text me and always call me and seemed to really care . But now when I need to talk to him he never answers because he’s on his xbox ,

I understand this is a leisure activity but it’s a bit strange how he used to text me all the time and now he doesn’t reply for at least 5 hours

what do I do?

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A female reader, ashleighkaylin United States +, writes (24 February 2018):

ashleighkaylin agony auntWhen did this start? I keep hearing a LOT of young ladies who feel ignored in place of video games, his friends, or whatever hobby. It seems to happen at the three or six month mark. Did you talk so much that he thinks you've already talked about everything already? Are you treating him like you would a female friend and running through all the gossip or problems that have nothing to do with him? Does he think what you're talking about is boring and repetitious? OR did you recently start getting intimate? I'm not saying all that is true for you, but I've notices that in a lot of my peers' relationships, as soon as a lady gives herself to a man, the courtship is pretty much over. He isn't motivated to take her on proper dates and he isn't having those nice long talks. I'm not saying you should text him and ask for intimacy just to get a response. PLEASE don't do that to yourself. I'm saying he may be bored with talking and the relationship and is now taking you for granted since you are now chasing him. He expects it. He's gotten lazy. Let him call you! If he doesn't after a few days go ahead and call to let him know it's over since he's making no effort. If he does want to get together, make sure it's a proper date with lots of talking and no intimacy. If he loses interest, you know the real reason he's with you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2018):

His x-box doesn't ask for anything. It doesn't interrupt, it doesn't complain, it doesn't demand time, attention, validation, compliments or dates. He can use it all he wants and on his terms, when he wants to. If it doesn't work or messes up it is silent when he yells at it. Do you have those traits? Didn't think so.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (23 February 2018):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntOP, relationships shouldn't be over phones. You're children. That's not a bad thing. It's good he's preferring hobbies than a relationship. That's how it should be when you're young. You're likely to want more attention than he will. That's normal in your early/mid teens.

What makes this a relationship for you, OP? Not just a friendship where you hold hands sometimes and text "love you" or "babe".

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