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Me and my ex keep arguing and it's really upsetting...

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 December 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 5 December 2009)
A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Me and my ex keep arguing and it's really upsetting.He thinks that when you are in a relationship, you should see each other once a week at least.However, i have a different view.I'm more of a " go with the flow " kind of person.He goes mad at me every time i back out of meeting him, he calls me a bitch, a moron, and he even went as far as to say i was crap at doing intimate things !.He has done more to me intimately than i have to him, but this is because of my lack of confidence. Neither of us has " gone all the way " before, but he seems more confident than me that way. He said he hoped that we would get more serious eventually, but he has ended things with me lots of times. I dont have much self esteem, and maybe this is my problem when it comes to relationships, but he seems to think it's because i dont like him.The only thing i dont like is how harsh his temper is, i can't forget some of the things he has said to me. When we have been together in person, he's completely different.He has a good sense of humour sometimes and is more caring.

He used to say that he was in love with me, but I wonder if he may be obsessed, as he also said that i was best thing in his life and the only thing that keeps him going.He doesnt have many friends and doesnt get on with his parents too well.He's also had trouble with other women he has liked, and he has some physical health problems. I do like him in some ways and i just wish we could fix our problems.Sometimes i say harsh things to him too but it's only in response to him.What should i do ?.

View related questions: confidence, my ex, self esteem

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009):

thanks for your help.i dont know why i have kept talking to him or even met up with him sometimes.something keeps making me go back to him for some reason.maybe its because he has messed with my mind ?. i've got to try and cut off all contact with him.he has even made me feel like its my own fault that he treats me that way.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009):

He has knocked my confidence even more by saying i need breast implants !.That was very hurtful, and i cant believe he said it. i'm not going to speak to him any more.i feel self conscious about my looks as it is, and he knows this.it has made me feel worse.

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A female reader, Stranger. United States +, writes (5 December 2009):

Stranger. agony auntfirst of all.

hunn, do NOT EVER let a guy talk crap to you.

EVER.

your are worth so much and to let yourself be talked to that way is just crazy.

you should never let anyone tell you crap like that.

i say you dont take him back.

or if you are with him break up.

he needs professional help.

im not kidding.

something that goes really deep is messing him up and he's now messing you up.

remember your only as beautiful as you let yourself believe.

dont let anyone else tell you other wise.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009):

He doesn't get along with his parents.

He didn't get along with other women he dated

He doesn't have any friends

He has a bad temper

He can't seem to control his anger unless he gets his way

He breaks up with you repeatedly

He over compensates by telling you that you are what keeps him going

He assassinates your character by calling you derogatory names

You have lack of confidence and low self esteem and you back out of seeing him quite often.

Gee, I wonder why? Read above list of your ex's attributes. Could it be that he is an ex for a reason?

He is a toxic man, not at all boyfriend material.

Stop arguing with him. How do you do that, stop all contact of any kind, phone, email, text, IM, social web sites, physical contact, let him know under that you no longer want to be friends, you no longer want to speak to him, to respect your wishes and to leave you completely alone. If he won't leave you alone, get a restraining order because he very well may be obsessed. This is not a psychologically healthy individual.

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