A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have fallen in love with my physician. I’ve been with him professionally for 15 years. I’ve always liked him but over the years we have developed a friendship. He is 4 years younger than me but I feel that we are compatible. I realized three years ago that I am in love with him. I think he has feelings for me as well. One night I ran into him at the airport and he was surprised and seemed very happy to see me. After talking with him a few minutes, I told him I’d better let him go home and he stopped me from leaving, He asked me to wait with him until his bag showed up and we walked together to the parking garage. Even though he was on a different floor he rode the extra 2 flours and walked me to my car. At my car he leaned in towards me, gave me a very hard hug, then backed away. I feel like he wanted to kiss me. Since then I broke my hand and had surgery so I needed to see him for follow up medical care. He was as sweet as ever. When I reminded him that he had not debited my credit card for my annual fee he just went around the subject. It appears he doesn’t want to charge me. What should I do? I’m married over 40 years but am unhappy in my marriage, he is married 36 years and appeared to be happily married but I am not sure of his real situation. Should I end my professional relationship with him? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2018): I'm finishing med school in a cpuple months so I know what I'm talking about.
Doctors will be absolutely grilled starting any relationship with their patient esp after the Larry Nassar the creep is still in the headlines.
Please get a new doctor.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2018): Physicians like some other professionals are inA position of authority... and that might make them extra Desireable ... they see a lot of people, paid to give medical Advice, offer care and compassion. ( I'mMarried to one) so I know how it is... our office managerWhose since left had a "crush"On my husband... I would first find another Physician ..I personally would not give him a reason as to why you're seeking another doctor... the staff usually takes care of that anyway and he might not even hear that you're leaving the practice. He's busy treating patients.. And if he did he would probably assure you that you should stay And deny any feelings that he has (if he has any for you). My advice seek to better your marriage I know after 40 years it can get stale ... I know I'm celebrating 40 this year too.I know it's hard. Don't get into an affair....
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2018): Oh come on! You're a married-woman, and you need to write an advice column to be told what you're supposed to do in an inappropriate and highly-unprofessional exchange with your doctor?
Get a new doctor and consider getting a divorce; if you're open to dating other men. Either that, or get some marriage counseling to workout issues that have you eyeballing another woman's husband while you're still married.
You're apparently lonely or bored with your marriage. So rather than wasting time and energy on someone else's husband, use that effort to work on your own marriage.
You're a mature and dignified woman, don't lower yourself to being a homewrecker and a cheat. It's beneath you! You're swept-up in the ideal and drama of an affair. It's not worth it, and you know better than that!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (2 March 2018):
 I don't think you should continue to see him as your doctor.
You are NOT in love with him, you are infatuated with him. Why do I say that? Because you don't REALLY know him or his life. You have met him ONE time outside of his practice!
Being unhappy in your marriage doesn't mean you need to "jump" the first man who pays you some pleasant attention.
If your marriage is unhappy, talk to your spouse and work on fixing it or ending it. Chasing after a MARRIED man will solve ABSOLUTELY ZERO of your problems at home or in your life. It will ONLY add to the misery.
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A
female
reader, MissKin  +, writes (2 March 2018):
 Get a new doctor. If anything happens you are putting your marriage his marriage and his professional integrity at risk. So first, get a new doctor.
Then, if you are not happy in your marriage, either have the dignity and respect to leave your husband before pursuing someone else or try to work on your marriage. An affair with someone else who is married - that is not the start of a fairy tale. If you love him then do it all the right way or it'll be ruined from the gw t go.
Find out if he is interested - you can always say you changed doctors BECAUSE of your feelings and then you'll know where you stand. If he is happily married then leave him be. Don't become the other woman it is not fair on his wife.
Personally I would say you've got your head in the clouds and you are searching for the love and inti macy missing your everyday life by creating feeli ngs for someone who is PAID to care. I feel that if you sort your marriage out you will realise that this is the case.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (2 March 2018):
 It all looked fine until you said "I’m married over 40 years but am unhappy in my marriage, he is married 36 years and appeared to be happily married".
You're married. He's married. If you're not happy, go to marriage counselling or get a divorce, so you can be free to be happy - no point wasting your last decades in a miserable marriage.
You do need to stop seeing this doctor, as you need to let go of your feelings and, regardless of how your marriage is, he is seemingly happy in his and hasn't suggested otherwise.
Find a new doctor and don't talk to him once you leave, as that's asking for trouble. Get a divorce and find SINGLE men.
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