A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:About a year ago I met someone online. We seemed to hit it off immediately and, after a few months, I travelled at a fair amount of expense to meet up (it's relatively long distance). However, since then contact from this person has become increasingly sporadic to the point where e-mails are now apparently being ignored. I've mentioned some pretty personal things lately re. family and these haven't even been acknowledged. Yet I was always there for this person when they had problems. Also, didn't get a birthday card recently despite my having sent one (and other letters). Don't want to appear stalkerish, but does anyone else find such behaviour goddamn rude? I can accept if someone's lost interest, but surely have the decency to say so?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, anonymous. You're right - some people are spineless and can't bring themselves to confront a situation. They're not worth worrying about.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionExactly, fi! Mine contacted me in the meantime as it happens, but going to play it very cool...
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (16 January 2011):
 Thank you very much. Chin up, and onwards and upwards!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, fi. And you too :). It's tough, but we can't always make others behave in the way we'd want.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011): I have been through something similar and it took me months to accept this Jakyll and Hyde transformation. All I can say is that some people have no spine and that's the end. Move on and you deserve better. All the best.
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female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (15 January 2011):
It is unfortunate yes, there are better people out there for both of us, I really hope you find yours :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat's my pleasure, and thanks for your good wishes also. I really would prefer just to be strong enough to walk away now, but I think it would give me real satisfaction and closure just to tell this person exactly what I think of their cowardly behaviour, and then be done with it. It really hammers your faith in the other sex when people can behave like this! But I know that not all women (or guys, in your case) are like it. It's just unfortunate that we've each met a bad egg.
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female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (15 January 2011):
I agree with aunt honesty, this is something i should think about doing really, getting closure. Thank you for wishing me the best with my situation, and i wish you all the best with yours. I'd love to tell my person a few home truths...
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks. I realise it may be a less dignified option than simply not contacting at all, but I feel it would bring closure. Plus, I don't think someone should be allowed to behave in such a cowardly, pig-ignorant way without being told a few home truths.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks. I realise it may be a less dignified option than simply not contacting at all, but I feel it would bring closure. Plus, I don't think someone should be allowed to behave in such a cowardly, pig-ignorant way without being told a few home truths.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks. It may not be as dignified as simply not contacting any more, but it would help bring closure I think. I don't think someone should be able to behave in such a pig ignorant and cowardly manner without being told a few home truths.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 January 2011):
 If you feel that by doing this it will give you closure then by all means go ahead and do that. As you said you have nothing to lose and if you think that by doing that then you can put her behind you and move on then carry on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, fi_the_tree and aunt honesty for your answers.Honesty - I'm past contacting her out of hope now. I've accepted the situation. However, to achieve closure I think I need to write to her one last time telling her precisely what I think of her behaviour, and to return a photo she once sent. Do you think this would be inadvisable? I have nothing to lose, but the very act of drafting it this evening was quite cathartic. I think she deserves to know what a cow she is.Fi - I'm very sorry to hear you are going through the same thing. We are both worth more than that. Having been at the same stage as you a week or two ago, it's incredibly hard but I think you need to stop waiting for a reply (I too heard some lovely things from mine, e.g. "couldn't put a price on your texts" and "you have a lot of the qualities I'd look for in a partner" - but they were clearly just words). But you have exactly the right attitude in intending to ignore them back in the event they do get round to writing. Good luck ;-)
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female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (15 January 2011):
I'm in this exact same situation, I'm being ignored by someone and yes i think it is god damn rude!! However, this person knows that there are other ways to contact me (as their phone is broken so texts wont send) but still I've heard nothing! Meanwhile I sit and wait to hear from said person, as they told me some lovely things I wanted to hear, and now this person is not following through.
So for the moment, I am ignoring this person right back. And when this person does get round to contacting me, I shall be ignoring them still. 2 can play this game and I want this person to sweat a bit :)
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (14 January 2011):
Some people just take the cowardly way out and instead of being open and honest with someone they back of and slowely begin to ignore them in hope that they will go away.
Your best bet here is to stop all contact with her and cut your losses. You obviously werent the man for her and she just chickened out of telling you this so just move on now and dont contact her again am sure you will find someone who is genuinly interested in you.
goodluck
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