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I want to keep her and my man too!

Tagged as: Dating, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 February 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 20 February 2013)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

im bisexual and i met a girl who only dates girls. she doesnt hate guys but she gets turned off to the thought of a guy ever touching her in a sexual way or kissing her. shes made it known that she would never date a bisexual girl.

i cant get her out of my head. i want her to be my girl. im scared that if i tell her she will drop me like a hot potato. weve been chatting for 6 months and finally met up for dinner tonight. it went good. i can tell she wants to be with me just as much as i want to be with her.

im engaged to a great guy and do plan to marry him in the summer.he knows im bi and he is fine with me seeing girls. what should i do to keep this girl in my life. i think i should keep quiet and when shes head and feet deep in love with me which might even be now then spring the news on her. that way she wont be able to walk away from me.

this girl is super bad.shes attractive smart classy independent. i mean she has it going on. i feel bad for not letting her know everything then again i never said i was only into girls. our relationship could be further along but i flip flop and make excuses not to go faster because im mixed with guilt.

tonight she made it clear that shes only seeing me and wants us to sleep together. i am dying to sleep with her and im thinking i should to reel her all the way in this way i can rid some of the jealousy and insecurity im feeling behind other attractive strict lesbians trying to date her. it makes me so mad when i see or hear about those girls trying to woo her. please help me keep her and my man in a slick way. tnx.

View related questions: engaged, jealous, kissing, lesbian

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (20 February 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntyou remind me of the men that think they can "turn" lesbians.

do you have less respect for her as a person because she's a lesbian? because you are acting like you do.... lying to her to get her to be sexual with you and fall in love with you and then telling her will lead to heart break for you and for her.

I'm sorry but in good conscience I cannot give you the support you ask for. I think that lying to her is wrong.

how would you feel if you found out your fiance was on the down low and not telling you till after the marriage?

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A female reader, Daisy_Daisy United Kingdom +, writes (20 February 2013):

Daisy_Daisy agony auntYou have to be honest about your situation, and then let her decide whether or not she can handle being in a non-monogamous relationship with you. It would be very unfair to reel her in and then tell her.

Think of the way you feel about other women wooing her (jealous and insecure) and remember that that's how she'll probably feel about you having a fiancé. Except far worse, because you're actually in a serious, committed relationship.

It's only fair to be honest with her. I don't think she'll like it (I could be wrong and hope so for your sake) but it's the right thing to do.

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (20 February 2013):

llifton agony aunti'm not typically harsh, but you're the exact reason why people like me have severe trust issues.

we have good, honest intentions with people like you, who lie, manipulate and cheat your way into our hearts, and after we're already emotionally invested, you drop the bomb or we find you out and it crushes us, and makes us believe that no one is ever trustworthy.

why would you actually want to treat someone like that? it's uncalled for and completely unacceptable. i legitimately can't stand selfish people like you.

do this girl a favor and stop talking to her. she doesn't deserve having to deal with you.

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