A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, I have been with my boyfriend a year and a few months. We both weren't virgins when we met and we got close fast so we really didn't wait long to have sex. The thing is lately it seems he has been more touchy and all over me then usual and I've just not been feeling like having sex. I just want to take a long break from it. I really have NO idea why its just a feeling that I have. Weird huh? But anyways my question is, how do I get us to stop? I dont want him to think somethings wrong becuase I dont want to break up or anything I just don't want sex right now. When ever he starts I usually just let him because we always have. so now what? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (4 July 2010):
The only thing i know you can do! is be honest. some people don't like to be honest in the relationshp because they are afraid of the relationship going to south! but to me that is what makes a relationship stronger. and if they leave even when you are being honest i mean what the heck shame on them that they couldn't take the truth!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone :) And for those who asked why I feel this way, I'm really not entirely sure but I'm thinking its this: about two weeks ago I went on his facebook (not to check up on him I just wanted to see something) but I ended up seeing these comments he left to another girl and just the things he was saying to her... It just hurt my feelings because I didn't think a person in a relationship should be talking that way to another person. yes I know, it sounds stupid but I guess I'm just sensitive and at that moment I just suddenly felt less attracted and decided that I did not want sex anymore. But I still want to be together. It all feels very confusing...
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A
male
reader, Kama  +, writes (25 June 2010):
 Everyone has the right to take a break. If there's nothing honestly wrong, then you have nothing to lose in being honest than someone who you probably shouldn't want to be with anyway. :)
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (25 June 2010):
 I understand how you feel. The sex has taken over the relationship to the detriment of the other things, like courtship, getting to know each other, and falling in love. That makes you feel like YOU are secondary to what you do for him physically.
Just tell him now you feel and ask him to put the sex on hold while you focus on other parts of the relationship. He may or may not go for it, but whether or not you have sex is your decision.
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A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (25 June 2010):
Just be honest! or make a Doctor's appointment maybe there is a reason why you feel the way you do.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum +, writes (25 June 2010):
 I would talk to him about how you are feeling and be honest and open about it then he may understand where you are coming from. It could be that you don't feel like sex because you have some stress in your life or that he is not pleasuring you in the way you need to be pleasured or it could be a hormonal thing. Either way talk to him about it.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (25 June 2010):
 Why do you want a long break from sex? He's definitely going to think something's wrong. It seems like punishment to just one day stop cold turkey. The only thing you CAN do is just say no when he tries. But you should probably try to figure out why the sudden disinterest? It's probably a bit deeper than just, a feeling. He's going to be pretty upset and take it personally if you just stop. I mean you have every right not to have sex, but once you start having sex, sex becomes a very important part of a relationship. Instead of just completely stopping, you should try to fix what's wrong. Are you just not enjoying it? Do you orgasm too?
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