A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hello aunts and unclesI am 54 and broke up with my husband 7 years ago and we have been divorced for 5 years. I have 4 very close girlfriends who I have known since I was married. They are all in their 40s, so slightly younger than me.We were all single divorced women and spent a lot of time together. Over the past 18 months they have all met men and are now happily in relationships. I am still single.I am finding this increasingly hard as I was the one in the group who most wanted to meet a man and find love. I have been actively looking with online dating, singles nights and attending groups in the hope of meeting a man. I haven't met any man this way although I have had a bit of interest, but only from men I haven't felt any attraction to or interest in.My friends made no effort to find men, but have just been lucky - one met a man at a party, one got together with a long standing male friend, and one reconnected with a man she knew 25 years ago, and one met a man through work. This feels so unfair as they weren't actively looking as I have been (i.e. online dating and singles clubs), but each found someone someone special.Although I do still see my friends, I am feeling increasingly isolated and lonely and horribly horribly jealous. I am very happy for them all (one is getting married this summer) but they all have what my heart so desires. I don't want to feel jealous, but I don't understand why I haven't been able to meet anyone in these 7 long years.I am slim, fit, not bad looking, intelligent, make my friends and family laugh, and they tell me that I'm easy going and good company. I'm also told all the time that I look much younger than my age. I go to festivals each summer, go to concerts, museums, historical places, am part of a wonderful drama group, go to the pub with friends, have lots of interests, work in a busy office, but the opportunity to meet someone nice just doesn't happen. I'm financially solvent, have a lovely little house of my own and a good job. I'm not sure what to do. As said before, I have tried online dating but have been very unsuccessful - at 54 I would like to meet a man of my own age, but all the men in their 50s seem to be looking for younger women and I only get interest from men in their late 60s or 70s. Way too old for me.I'm feeling quite sad about all this and am not sure what to do. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. I would really appreciate some advice on how to deal emotionally with this situation and any new ideas on how to meet a man of my own age at 54.Thank you all so much in advance for your advice.
View related questions:
broke up, divorce, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello and thank you so much for your answers.
Sageoldguy - Yes I do have a very interesting and full life and I am lucky enough to be able to do the things I love and enjoy. So like you said, I will continue to do them and perhaps meet a man who enjoys the same things as me. Hopefully I never come across as desperate, but just friendly and interesting. And if all else fails, I'll take your advice and go wow the men of Florida - that made me laugh so much!
Anon female - I am certainly going to try your visualisation idea. I've taken on board the "be careful what you wish for" warning and will imagine my ideal man very carefully! I'll keep you posted on progress.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2014): Believe me you will find love. This simple action has helped me find love every time though not always quickly!! Every night whenever I have been single and looking for someone I go to bed picturing what kind of guy I want to meet. It really works. I am in my late 40's and it just worked for me again. I came out of a relationship last year with a guy who was divorced (Before I met him I was looking to meet a man who had children and would understand my situation). Then after that sad break up I wanted to meet a guy with no ex wife or children. I have met him him. I just know this works. Go to bed imagining what he will look like and how he will sound and smile. Believe in in. In my case I laugh as each guy I wish for has had issues I hadn't thought about... Maybe a case of 'Careful what you wish for'
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (5 May 2014):
 P.S. Here in Florida, a woman in her 50s is considered a "young thing"!!!!!
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (5 May 2014):
It's one of those cruel ironies of life that one often "finds" love when they're least looking for it.....
My advice? Keep living your life. Do the things that YOU want to do. Stay in touch with your gal-pals.... Someday, someplace... you are going to encounter "Mr Right." Who KNOWS just where and when that will happen???
What you need to be sure to avoid is letting yourself exhibit (any) frustration at your current status.... and be sure that you present yourself as the warm, smart, caring (plus any other positive adjectives that apply) woman.... who a guy would be lucky to get her (your) attention....
Chin up!!! ... and Good luck...
...............................
|
