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How do I answer the doctor's question?

Tagged as: Health, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 October 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 1 February 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

before i ask my question i really need to ask you not to consider my age, i just need help on the question thank you.

I want to go on the pill soon because i have very heavy periods and every month they kill! I know some of the questions that they ask and there is one that i am quite confused about... "are you sexually active?" i am a virgin, i have not had vaginal anal or oral sex, but i have been fingered, does this mean i am sexually active? and if i have oral does that mean i would have been sexually active? how do i answer the doctors question?

View related questions: oral sex, period, the pill, vagina

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A female reader, torch United Kingdom +, writes (1 February 2011):

torch agony auntThe doctors write on the computer "came with mum" when they ask you these questions. Trust me, I saw it for myself. But I wouldn't count being fingered as sexually active. I think it's just their way of saying "have you had sex". xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010):

I don't think your mum would need to be there-doctors know that its harder to get the truth from someone if there mum is by their side!

Politely tell her you think your old enough to go by yourself and will feel awkward if shes in there too, but assure her you'll bring out info for her about what is going on. Then u won't have 2 worry at all! X

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thankyou everyone, its not the doctor i am worried about telling, its the fact i know my mum will be there! i think i am going to wait a while til i go on the pill so i can read up some more on it, thanks so much to everyone :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2010):

Try an IUD. Really helped with heavy painful periods. And you don't have to remember to take a pill every day.

Tell the doctor you are considering becoming active. You will get the information you need about avoiding pregnancy and STDs.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2010):

Sexually active in my mind implies actual sex-as sex can get your pregnant and doctors want to know this so they can talk to you about STI's and how important condoms are even though you are on the pill(nothing is 100% effective and the pill will do nothing to stop some nasty diseases).

I know its embarressing talking to a doctor about stuff like that but they hear it all the time and a good doctor won't judge you. Just be as honest as you were in this post and say your a virgin but have had foreplay with someone before.

Also just a bit of advice from my own experience, I first went on the pill quite young (15) for heavy periods and be warned-some pills can really interfere with your moods so don't be afraid to go back to your doctor and get a different type of pill if af. It took a good 10-12 months for me to get the right one but it was worth hassling the doctors-as I went from being a happy, cheerful person to a real moody cow lol! Give each pill a couple of months to settle down and if you're not happy-go back!

Good Luck

Good Luck

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A male reader, Odds United States +, writes (1 November 2010):

Odds agony auntAnswer the question exactly the way you just described it here. Ask if either fingering or oral count as "active" in the medical sense. Don't be embarassed, doctors don't care.

If it helps, my understanding is that both of them count as "active," but whether or not your are active has no bearing on what the doctor will prescribe. I am not an M.D., I just read too much, so that opinion counts only as a source of comfort, not as medical advice.

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A female reader, HondaTohru Canada +, writes (1 November 2010):

HondaTohru agony auntJust in case no one else knows...

I don't know exactly what "sexually active" implies here, but you can always ask your doctor...

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