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He's tight with his money! Am I being petty here?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 March 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 21 March 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Iv been seeing my fella for nearly 8 months now and he says he loves me, he works as a banker yet i feel he's a bit tight with his money.When i needed a new mobile phone i didn't ask him to buy me one but he did....it was off ebay and second hand.He said he was going to buy himself a new phone yet mine was second hand? When we go to the pictures i pay every time and its not cheap...i pay £32 for the best seats at the gallery. He pays everytime he books a room up if we want private time together although thats every 6 weeks approx. Do you think im being petty or do i have a point?

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A female reader, Francewarno United Kingdom +, writes (21 March 2011):

I can totally sympathise with you. I have been with my partner for over one year, we live together and he is still really tight with me over money. He takes money off me for housekeeping, even though I am 15,000 in debt. I literally work to pay my debts with nothing left over when I have paid him too. He has broken several of my things, but never replaces them. He is one of the meanest men I have ever met. We go for a meal once a month (if that) and he still begrudges paying for that. But he will take, take, take. If someone nice came along who was generous whom I could trust, I would be tempted to move on. And you should do the same. Lack of respect is what it is. My partner does all the things gentlemanly that are FREE, if anything costs money, forget it!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I needed a new phone because my old mobile was 3 years old and wasn't working properly.Dont get me wrong, its a nice phone but if i was going to buy my boyfriend a phone then i would of bought a new one, but thats me. The reason for booking a room up is because he has children living with him as he has full custody and he's divorced.He did get me a nice xmas present and he splashed out then..BUT so did i...so it works both ways....When we are out he doesn't offer to buy me lunch...he just takes me to the pub and buys me a few drinks, he wont expect me to buy the drinks although i have offered on numerous ocassions.I dont know?....i just feel like he has a good job yet not very generous with his money...

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A male reader, Red Green 0289 United States +, writes (25 March 2010):

Petty... he gave you a gift, and it's not good enough for you. Why did you need a new phone? Maybe he thought that since something happened to your old one that buying you a new one (only to have it suffer the same fate as the old one) was a waste of money.

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A male reader, Dave70 United States +, writes (24 March 2010):

Dave70 agony auntAre you his mistress or something? Don't either of you have your own place but anyways, yeah he's cheap.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2010):

Something doesn't add up here. Why is he paying for a room if you need private time and that's only every six weeks?

Is he living with someone else, or is he married?

If the answer is yes then you know the answer to your own questions.

If not, if you feel he is tight with his money then he probably is and that isn't going to change especially at his age.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (24 March 2010):

I do have to say, for a man who probably earns a lot, he is tight. I think you do have a point. Even poor men put more effort in. You mustn't allow yourself to be treated like second best.

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