A
female
age
36-40,
*omma 3
writes:I am a mother of three and real young. I have been dating a man for 2 yrs and things are ok. I have always knew he watched porn, I figured it was because we didnt live together. We moved in together and for the past 5 months I have noticed he looks, watches, chats about porn all the time,trying to hide it from me. I have told him time and time again that I hate it. I am a real nice looking women, I have made that mans sex life the best its ever been, I have done everything I he ever asked to do. I dont like how often he does it and then comes to me after to get off, I am not them nor a peice of meat. I dont know what to do. I feel like I am not good for him. Oh and he watches so much how come he cant bring what he saw sometimes to our room it is always about him never me. I just want to give up. help me
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (1 December 2010):
 You've told him you hate it, but have you talked to him about it to find out why he does it? In a curious way, not an "I hate this crap" way? If not, you need to.
Sit him down and tell him you're desparately trying to understand why he needs the porn when you're ready and willing to please him when he wants. Ask him to explain why he watches it. Tell him how it makes you feel. No ultimatums. No accusitory language. Just a civil discussion about this topic.
Guys have different reasons for watching porn and masturbating. They range from tool to get off to full blown addiction. It's impossible to say why he does this for sure. Only he knows.
I recommend you look at the pornography tab on the main screen. You'll see that many women are in a similar boat.
Here is a link to my favorite discussion on the topic as well.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-there-no-middle-ground-when-it.html
It's a long one, but worth the read if you have the time.
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