A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi I've been seeing my ex boyfriend behind his wife's back for almost a year now. I was very much in love with him at one time. He dumped me and got married. We were together 13 years. He comes to my home and is very comfortable. He told me he was looking into getting a divorce because he's unhappy. Still not done so.But he also said that he didn't want a relationship even after he gets divorced. He helps me out with little stuff around the house. Should I just let him go? still have strong feelings!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2014): I know what it feels like as I loved someone just as deeply and he left me married someone else. I hooked up with him years later. I don't sleep with him as I just don't want to feel used. We keep in contact and see one another but no sex. Would he leave his wife, no as he is a coward and use the kids as an excuse. Does he love me , maybe as I don't offer any free service and he still wants to be part of my life. I will not marry him even if he was free as he had his chance with me and hurt me. I am with someone else and he makes me very happy and loves me unconditionally. I suggest you look to move on as this guy is taking advantage of how you feel and you will get hurt again. It is difficult to move on but not impossible. Just remember take you have the power to take control of your life and that will take away his control/power over you.
A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (4 September 2014):
Ohhhh I feel for your broken heart. You need to find your inner strength and move on. You can do it! It is within you.
Find someone who loves you for all our greatness and your silly faults.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2014): you both are right! just have to muster the courage to say goodbye! thank u for your input!!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (4 September 2014):
 I think you know, and not even deep down, that this guy is a tool and he is USING you because he is bored in his marriage and is too lazy to WORK on their issues.
He ISN'T going to divorce his wife for you. He isn't really wanting to divorce and IN the case he DOES divorce he won't want to BE with you in a relationship, he might still USE you, til he finds "GREENER grass", but be with you?, no. He has even TOLD you that.
I'm sorry you are setting yourself up for a lot of pain catering to this guy and to the "fantasy image" you have of him as a decent fella. HE is a tool who dumped you and married someone else and now that the marriage is a bit stale he "rekindled" things with you, because he KNOWS just how to manipulate you into thinking this is "love".
And then there is the whole moral issue here. Why did you think it was OK to have an affair with a married man? Because you dated him first OVER a decade ago? That somehow makes it OK? And how can you trust him? The guy MARRIED someone and then is cheating on her WITH YOU.
I think you either like the drama or you are in denial.
Either way, you ARE wasting your life on this guy.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (4 September 2014):
 Strong feelings or not he is demonstrating boldly that efen if you two were married, he could run around behind your back, why even entertain that future
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2014): I know in my heart your right!! just really hard to accept!! need strengh!! someone PLEASE give me strenth!!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 September 2014):
You know, don't you, that he'll never leave his wife. I'm afraid that you are very much the woman on the side, who offers extra comfort in addition to everything his wife offers.
You have a decision. Either you can accept what you have, and accept that it won't be anything else. Or you can realise that you're being used, and you've always been used by this man, and go and find someone else who will actually love you.
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