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Does my ex hate me or does he love me? Any advice?

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 October 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 1 December 2008)
A female Philippines age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Does my ex still loves me ? that is my question and my problem right.

We were in a relationship for 2 years on and off. We have been through a lot. Depression, we've even been to the police but after that we forgave each other. the police scene even happend at the time when he had a girlfriend. (oh yeah thats right he has a girlfriend right now), when we were just 3 months i left home for him, i didnt went home 6months, we were kind like a married couple, monday to sunday 24/7. whenever he is angry at something then he blows it on me and after a few minutes he will just cry to me.

the problem on our relationship is that we always fight a LOT. he has a lot of anger. anger on himself, family and friends and usually he blows it on me but at the end it will all be okay when i just hug him coz i understand him.

we stopped communicating around april for some silly fight. on july i found out he liked somebody cause i saw them hanging out. the day before he officially have a new girlfriend, we talked and spend the whole day together. kinda like a closure. talk, hug and everything, u know what i mean. and agreed that we would stay friends.

i was even the first person to know that he and his girlfriend were official! koz after the day we talked. we have been communicating for 4 weeks, everyday we txt and everynight he calls. 4weeks and to think he has a girlfriend and once a week we see each other. he gets mad when i dont txt him first. or if i go out too much. it's kinda hard right? until i was so fed up.. cause its so unfair. i cant move on like this. i cant let him go like this. i still love him so much and i still wanted him back. the problem with us was...

we know that we cant get back together no matter how hard we try, on our first few months we already knew that but we were just so stubborn that in the 2years of our relationship we ended up hating each other at the same time. does that make any sense? so even if we'll get back together.. we know we won't work. for 2 years we've tried but we still won't work.. i think it came to a point that we can't take it anymore..

they say that if we can't grow together then we have to grow a part? true right? but we're still so immature that we cant let go of each other koz im afraid that WHAT IF he wont come back right?

anyway. after 4 weeks i got fed up koz we were still like boyfriend and girlfriend. the diffrence was he has someone else outside of our 'own' world.

to think.. every wed-fri i was still the one waking him up by calling him on his cellphone, i told him to let his girlfriend do the job but he wants me! before i was always the one waking him up when we were still in a relationship.

and to think on his girlfriend's birthday, he spend the day with me! we slept together. we even go to church in public, hold hands in public and kiss in public and put food in each others mouth in public. i think he got a little attached to me.

i did something.. bad.. i told his girlfriend EVERYTHING. that he's cheating. and of course she was pissed. they broke up and he got so mad at me. and we never communicated after that. i found out through friends that they got back 2 days after.

see my reason in my mind was, if i cant let him go, ill find a way for him to leave me, in my heart was i still want him back, i want them to break-up.

anyway, its been 3months and during those months he sometimes txt me BUT not the kind of txt that sweet2x and everything. kinda mad. like saying 'im not going to forgive u' or even 'i cant trust u anymore'.. sometimes i txt and he wont reply, sometimes he txt and i wont reply.

he has so full full of anger that he really cant forgive me. i think he hates me? Sometimes he'd say in time he'll forgive me.. next thing you know he'll say i wont forgive u, bye. its so confusing! and he still wears my earrings till now, and he even name his puppy after my nickname ( though he doesn't know that i know )

can you guys help me??

View related questions: broke up, get back together, has a girlfriend, immature, move on, my ex

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A male reader, TimLSY United States +, writes (1 December 2008):

If he's really WITH that girl, not in a confused state, then let him go while you still don't hate him too much. It might be that he's just contacting you cause he doesn't know when you might contact him, so if you take the initiative and tell him that you're out he might just be relieved. After that, never stay in touch unless he seriously wants you and only you. Otherwise, let him be with the other girl, they'll have their problems anyway.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i pray for u too.. and thanks..

its kinda confusing. till now he txtes me and still wants to see me.. does that mean he doesnt love his girlfriend? i really dont understand.. is she on the rebound? whew. this guy is so hard to understand

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2008):

I guess that makes sense...if he has told you he wants to be with her. You will have to be very, very strong and move on.

I think you and I are in the same situation. I think my ex husband has chosen this woman, but he has not told me that. He does not want me and he does not want me with other men. So, he wants his cake and eat it, too.

I will ask that he verbally say that he has chosen her. After that, he and I can only share the parenting stuff.

I feel your pain, sweetie. I pray God eases the hurt for both of us.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

dear anonymous: he already chose. the fact that he is with his girlfriend instead of me means he chose her but at the same time he can't let me go on his ' inside ' . does that make any sense?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

honeychild: i understand but. . till now, why would he even bother txting me like picking up fights with me? sometimes he's in a good mood, next thing you know he blows off! why would he still txtes me behind his girlfriend's back? does that mean that even though he has move on.. deep inside he didn't let me go?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2008):

I'm also in a situation where I am waiting to see if my ex wants to be with me or with the other woman. And I know he kisses me during the week and sees her on the weekends. Although he says they are not intimate.

I want him back badly, so I am staying out of his way. We chat, but I have asked for a decision from him on which one of us he plans to be with.

Had I known he was in a potentially serious relationship, then I would not have asked to reconcile. But, I love him dearly, so I will wait...not forever...yet, he will have to decide on one of us.

I'd say you ask him to make a decision. If he chooses you, great! If not, then I'd say move on...it will hard and it will break your heart...but try to find faith or a higher being (like God) and pray for peace in your heart and in this situation.

Good luck!

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A female reader, honeychild4402 United Kingdom +, writes (11 October 2008):

honeychild4402 agony auntthis guy just wants to have his cake and eat it too, meaning he has a girlfriend but still wants a relationshop with u....well...almost control u!. dont fall for it, hes also playing serious mind games by telling u that he cant forgive u, but maybe in time he will, just because he still wants you to hang on! afterall...if he said he could never forgive u then you would probably leave him alone. God i hate guys like this, it makes me so angry! ditch that loser and find somone worthy. it may be hard but time is a healer and we all move on in the end x

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