A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Does my male friend fancy me ?. I saw him yesterday. He works in a pub that I go in. When he was working yesterday, I told him that I had something wrong with my eye. It had been twitching (I'm not sure what has been wrong with it yet), and he made a joke saying that I kept winking at him. Later, a woman who he didn't know spoke to him and asked him if I was his girlfriend. He said yes. She asked him what his name was, and he said my ex boyfriends name instead of his real name. It was funny, because she called him by that name again later on. Another member of staff also told him in a jokey way to stop chatting me up, and he said "oh, shut up" in a jokey way to them. I have had chats with him about my ex in the past, and he used to ask me if he thought I should out up with his behaviour, and said I could do better. He gives me a hug and a kiss sometimes when we leave each other too. What do you think?. It has made me wonder even more if he does with what happened last night.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 June 2016):
 If you are developing feelings for this man then you need to let him know, if you don't want to tell him straight out that you like him, then you can be subtle. Ask him out to dinner, or a movie, or even over to your house for a meal and a few drinks, am sure he would take the hint then.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2016): Hi. Just to update my last post, he doesn't have a girlfriend or wife. We have met up away from the pub before too. Once, he was working in the pub, and he asked me to go out to a club with him after he had finished work. Also, I live in a different part of town to the one he lives in (its not very close), but he met me in a pub in my part of town straight after he finished his daytime job once (he just works in the pub at nights on the weekend. He has another job during the daytime on the week). I'm not really sure how to discuss this with him. I feel like I am developing feelings for him, but I'm not sure if I should tell him, or if I should date anyone.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2016): I'd say he likes you but you should be cautious with your feelings. Flirting doesn't necessarily mean a person wants to date you. In a pub situation, gratuitous flirtations are exchanged to make customers feel appreciated. This has been done repeatedly over the course of time; so maybe he is fond of you among many other customers. I think it's just being familiar, but not much else to it. If there is anything to it, he'd ask you out on a date; not just toy with you.
OP's come to DC frequently asking if another person they like feels the same. Here are some clues:
1. Constant eye-contact.
2. Never fails to greet you.
3. Lingering conversation, and often will not let you get a word in edgewise.
4. Always running into you. Always in close proximity, and doing everything possible to hold your attention.
5. You make them smile the whole time you're in each others presence.
6. You easily make them a little nervous, but they won't let go of your attention.
7. They don't make you wait too long before asking you on a date.
When people like you, someone has to make a move. Either you, or the person you think likes you. People are much too afraid of rejection; so there's an impasse while everyone is waiting for the other to make the first move. It's childish and a waste of time crushing. Adults should have the maturity to overcome shyness and go for what they want. Funny how people don't hesitate to let you know how much they don't like you; but find it so hard to just introduce themselves, make conversation, then follow-up with the suggestion that you meet and enjoy each others company under a different setting. That's called a date!
Next time he flirts, ask him if he'd like to take you out sometime. Then be woman enough to accept whatever response you get. "No" is not bullet. It will not kill you. Surely he will let you down nicely. He likes you enough he wouldn't want to hurt your feelings, perhaps not enough to date you. He may already have a wife or girlfriend/boyfriend. It doesn't mean he can't make you feel good while being a patron at the bar. Playfulness and teasing comes with the job. He knows you had some ups and downs; and he wants to boost your ego and raise your self-esteem. It is a polite and kind thing to do. So careful not to over-read it.
You can handle it if he turns you down; or he is already committed to someone, I hope.
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