A
male
age
30-35,
*ndy00
writes:Hello. I'm trying to be friends with my ex-girlfriend. This is the 3rd time that I have tried to keep contact with her, because every other time I tried I've ended up avoiding her, because I've been too upset.We spoke properly for the first time in a couple of months last night, and ended up on MSN for 4 and a half hours! It was just like the days we were together, only this time we were talking about moving on and dating other people. It turns out, neither of us have been in long lasting relationships since we broke up 7 1/2 months ago. It was a lot of fun catching up, and when I went to bed, she was pretty much all I thought about.This morning I have woken up feeling miserable and thinking of her, and I don't know why. Last night we spoke a lot about moving on, and that's exactly what I want to do. I don't want this to escalate to the point where I must distance myself from her again. I obviously am something special to her, and my friendship means a lot to her. After all, she's the one who has tried to get me talking to her time and time again.Can anybody advise me? I don't want to cut contact, because I know now that I'm able to move on and meet new people, but I also don't want my feelings for her to affect me from moving on with my life. Please help.
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broke up, ex girlfriend, move on, msn, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (10 February 2008):
Andy00 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for the answer. I'd like you to message me. Maybe we can get some of this stuff off both our chests, so please message me if you're interested.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2008): Hi you answered my question during the week a pretty similar situation to you about being in love with your ex, i was gonna message you cos i really need to spill it out to somebody that understands when i say your question. Its weird my situation ver alike, i know i am 100% in love with my ex boyfriend, and it sounds like you are in love with your ex gf too..i have wanted to move on like you but found it difficult ive been with other guys and it hasnt felt right at all, the last time we were together was about 4 months ago, im afraid to tell him i still love him,im worried he'll reject me, but i too am so upset cant sleep its all i think about, i dont know what advice to give you really except maybe you have to go for it one last time?? i know i need to do the same as i am suffering badly, i saw my ex kiss a girl last night for the first time since we broke up a year ago, when he saw me he just stared and i had to walk away i was so upset, i cant move on until i tell him how i feel but i dont know how to do that.ive been talking about telling him straight for months but i dont have the courage, i feel that he has been trying to tell me the same for months but has let it linger..anyway i dont think its possible for you to move on until you have closure so if you REALLY TRULY do want to move?? on then i think maybe cut contact..it sound to me though that you do want her so please tell her xox
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A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (10 February 2008):
Andy00 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHmmm, well, I told her how I felt a couple of months ago. Nothing has really changed since then, only I'm now open to the idea of meeting somebody new. Before when I asked her what the chances were of us having something in the future her answer was "Never say never, but it's very unlikely". I don't know why that is; whether it is purely down to the long distance between us, or whether it's her feelings for me.
In our last conversation, she revealed she hasn't slept with anybody since me almost 9 months ago. She's quite desperate for Sex, as am I. I don't think she thinks the same way, but I know that if I had the chance I would sleep with her tonight... But that's not exactly moving on. I WANT TO MOVE ON FROM HER BEFORE I GET MY HEART BROKEN. In the week I'm going to go out and meet new women, and try and get my feelings for her out of me. But just now, it sort of feels like I'm always going to have feelings for her, and it's scaring me.
..Any thoughts on that? Thanks for your advice so far.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (9 February 2008):
 Lead a balance life and do everything in moderations. Have checks and balances in your life.Look at things in the proper perspective.
Get your priorities right and everything will be OK!
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A
male
reader, Namatjira +, writes (9 February 2008):
Hi,You must tell her how you feel and ask her if she has ever thought of maybe getting back together again. Listen carefully to her answer because if she says that getting back together is not possible then you need to be strong and just put enough distance between you (including shorter MSN conversations) to allow your own emotions to heal. Remember sometimes people talk about what they think is expected, like moving on, rather than what they really want. Analyse your own thoughts and feelings on the subject.It may be necessary to cut contact for a time to get over it.Good luck
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