A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My parner is a timid,fearful,coward kind of a person. He is a nice guy have feelings for me, bt never express them, never want to accept that he is emotioanlly connected to me! when ever there's problme between us, he just runs away... No reasons, no disucssion, no talks. confronted him..he ran away! he is afraid to even talk about his own feelings/emotions/insecurities, I tried many times... bt no response. he dont even say "Yes/NO" I begged him to talk to me, disucss with me, even if he wants to end this relationship! bt no response.My partner is too much of a coward to end this relationship and he finds it easier to avoid me/cut off all the communcation with me, so that I can get the hint. How can I handle this situation, how can I make him talk/express his feelings, how can I stop him running away from me? its frustrating, please help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2012): well first thing is to examine if you are scaring him into not wanting to talk! seriously. for example a great way to scare someone into shutting down is to directly ask them to share their feelings with you. and then to get aggressive if they dont' want to. over time, they start to feel uneasy just being around you because it's like you want to invade their private thoughts so they will automatically put up a wall every time they see you. if you have been constantly urging him to talk to you, then you could actually be makign things worse.but even so, there comes a point when he does need to man up and tell you if he does not want to be with you anymore. You do not have a right to know what he is thinking and feeling about every little thing, but you do have a right to know where you stand with him. if he refuses to say anything and always shuts you down when you ask, then I'm afraid you just need to end the relationship on your own with or without him.timid, fearful, coward...these are your descriptions of him. these are not good traits to have in a partner, so you should leave him anyway. he has a lot of growing up to do before he can be functional in a relationship.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2012): thank you So much for your answer, hope this works for me:)however my situation is a bit different:( we had a fight, then he's gone on a "No contact" rule.(he is a quiet type basically)I tried so many times to talk to him, to understand whats wrong and to knw the reason. he just walked away/said "I dont want to talk" everytime. I really Love him, don want to lose him.I knw he is emotional about me too. I want him to open up and share his fears/thoughts with me, atleast to let me know the reason behind his behaviour. He is avoiding me, and thats killing me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2012): my bf is the same way. well, he used to be and still is from time to time. he never shared how he felt about anything. not just about me and our relatinship, but his opinion on different subjects. i would get monosyllables or non-committal grunts, that kind of thing. i would urge him to talk to me and tell me just what was on his mind and that pushed him further away so i changed tactics. i'm not saying it'll work for you, but it worked for me. i would simply and casually talk about anything that was on my mind. just ramble on about stuff, it helped that he's the quiet type and would rather listen than talk. so i would talk and talk until i sensed he was getting annoyed with my constant chatter and try another day. i would talk and talk, and sometimes at random moments ask him how he felt about such and such. sometimes i'd get nods, shakes a shrug, then out of nowhere he would actually really speak up and go on with a little speech (mind you, for him, a speech is five sentences, and that's A LOT).i figured out that by sharing my thoughts, opinions and feelings about seriously anything, he would feel compelled to open up and express himself. then i would talk about us, also casually, without putting any sort of pressure behind my words and he would contribute.there isn't a magical way to open up people. some work differently than others. that was the way i got my bf to tell me he loved me. after two years together and my telling him i loved him for close to 6 months every day without being discouraged, he finally told me the best combination of 3 words while we were cuddling and about to fall asleep. the bastard! LOL!! he had done it on purpose because he knew that i'd be ecstatic to hear his declaration of love and would get all hyper; so he picked the right time so that my reaction was a lazy smile before i went off to sleepyland. god, i love him.try that!! it could work. but there are no guaranties.best of luck
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (1 October 2012):
 you can't make him talk
you can't change him
he wants to end the relationship according to you and you can't fix that.
I'd do his dirty work, end the relationship and go no contact...
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