Still uncertain that our breakup was the right thing to do. Is this just a sign of the grieving process or something else?
Q. I've ended a relationship after over 4 years as I knew deep down that we had reached the end of the road. I had been confused over my feelings for a good few months and could never see a longer term future for us. It was my feelings for him that ...
A. 28 June 2007: Of course you have doubts and seeing them physically is terrible or hearing about them. The fact that you have remained who you are and have been your own self is more important and she be a clear indicator that you really have moved on. Don't see ... (read in full...)
Still uncertain that our breakup was the right thing to do. Is this just a sign of the grieving process or something else?
Q. I've ended a relationship after over 4 years as I knew deep down that we had reached the end of the road. I had been confused over my feelings for a good few months and could never see a longer term future for us. It was my feelings for him that ...
A. 22 June 2007: I am answering to anonoymous who made a comment about my comment! I really admire your courage for striking out on your own and getting that bar job. I really think you've done a wonderful thing of going for it and just getting your teeth into ... (read in full...)
How to cope after a very close death???
Q. Hi Everyone, AskEve here. I just wanted to let everyone know I lost my wonderful partner 2 days ago so won't be on for a bit. He was over in Switzerland on business when he passed away. (I wasn't even with him...) I loved him terribly and now...
A. 16 June 2007: Hi, I've written to you before. I went to see a medium after great consideration as I didn't partake in anything like that before. However, I went because I needed to feel peace. I wanted to know where my Mum was, if she was ok and wasn't ... (read in full...)
How can I learn to trust men, when every guy I've dated dumps me after sex!?
Q. Okay, I dated this guy for like a week, and it was more of just a fling, but does that give him a right to just dump me after having sex.. even though I told him all about my past and how every guy always does that to me. He promised he wouldn't ...
A. 26 May 2007: Listen, not all change their mind after the chat prior to the event. So keep yourself optimistic...there are those out there who do actually know what they want...I hope you are ok. Cheers... (read in full...)
How can I learn to trust men, when every guy I've dated dumps me after sex!?
Q. Okay, I dated this guy for like a week, and it was more of just a fling, but does that give him a right to just dump me after having sex.. even though I told him all about my past and how every guy always does that to me. He promised he wouldn't ...
A. 23 May 2007: I didn't mean to make you feel I was judging you and this was something you do as easy as going for a walk. We've all had the one night stands, well I have at least where you clearly know straight afterwardsit isn't going to go any further. Don't ... (read in full...)
How to cope after a very close death???
Q. Hi Everyone, AskEve here. I just wanted to let everyone know I lost my wonderful partner 2 days ago so won't be on for a bit. He was over in Switzerland on business when he passed away. (I wasn't even with him...) I loved him terribly and now...
A. 22 May 2007: Sorry everyone time does not heal your pain, you manage it. You never heal from the loss of a loved one whether it was last week or 40 years ago. Stop spitting out the classic four stages of grief from books. You go through so many emotions at all ... (read in full...)
Still uncertain that our breakup was the right thing to do. Is this just a sign of the grieving process or something else?
Q. I've ended a relationship after over 4 years as I knew deep down that we had reached the end of the road. I had been confused over my feelings for a good few months and could never see a longer term future for us. It was my feelings for him that ...
A. 22 May 2007: No you will not end up in the same position 6 months down the line...you don't know it yet but when you start dating or going out or whatever, your instinct will kick in and you will know just on your own without even thinking, you know perhaps to ... (read in full...)
How old do you have to be when getting on the pill or buying condoms?
Q. Can you please tell me how old you have to be before you buy the Pill, condoms? xxx...
A. 21 May 2007: Are you serious there is no minimum age to buy or acquire condoms or the pill in the UK?... (read in full...)
How to cope after a very close death???
Q. Hi Everyone, AskEve here. I just wanted to let everyone know I lost my wonderful partner 2 days ago so won't be on for a bit. He was over in Switzerland on business when he passed away. (I wasn't even with him...) I loved him terribly and now...
A. 21 May 2007: Please contact me...email me privately. I can help you or at least listen. I have all the time in the world. I am 33 British and living in Canada and I lost my Mum 3 years ago. I can tell you and listen to you. Reading websites isn't the ... (read in full...)
How can I learn to trust men, when every guy I've dated dumps me after sex!?
Q. Okay, I dated this guy for like a week, and it was more of just a fling, but does that give him a right to just dump me after having sex.. even though I told him all about my past and how every guy always does that to me. He promised he wouldn't ...
A. 21 May 2007: Stop having sex with them on the first or first few dates and don't tell them your resume of bad break ups...you are giving them a golden ticket for any guy good or bad to have the get out clause and collect $200 everytime they go around the ... (read in full...)
Even though he says that his 'texting other women" was all innocent, he wants to get his own flat, now! What is up with this guy?
Q. just recently found out my patner has been secretly texting another woman. i lost my temper and threw him out .he says it is innocent and now says he wants to get a flat because he cant handle the kids im so confused please help....
A. 21 May 2007: You only lost your temper! I would be enraged, volcanic!...the whole getting my own flat thing because he's stressed and of course blames the kids is just a pathetic excuse. What does he mean he can't handle the kids? Lucky him, what does he think ... (read in full...)
Still uncertain that our breakup was the right thing to do. Is this just a sign of the grieving process or something else?
Q. I've ended a relationship after over 4 years as I knew deep down that we had reached the end of the road. I had been confused over my feelings for a good few months and could never see a longer term future for us. It was my feelings for him that ...
A. 21 May 2007: Yes it is grieving of a sort, you know what your decision was and is and yet you miss everything about them, time together, memories and everything seems to become heightened in your emotions for this person. You probably find yourself thinking of ... (read in full...)
My best guy friend got a bit tipsy and told me he loved me but...he's got a gf! What should I do?
Q. Right. There's a boy with a girlfriend. I'm in love with him. He's my best friend. He always asks me to go places with him on our own and when I say " Won't your girlfriend hate the idea of this?" and his reply will always be " It doesn't matt...
A. 21 May 2007: First of all you aren't in love with him. He has wised into the fact that you are the good mate of his girlfriend and he just wants to try and see how far he can go. Anyone can do the long meaningful hugs, call you by your name and spend 30 ... (read in full...)
My GF is either insecure or smothering me becoz I have to put 'I love you' at the end of every text msg!
Q. I think my girlfriend may be smothering me slightly but im not sure. In the past year and a half we have literally put 'Love you' after every single text we send even when we text 10 times in 5 minutes...And I have gotten to the point I hate doing ...
A. 21 May 2007: Ok I agree saying I love you actually removes the 'mojo' out the meaning, know what I mean. My Dad says to be at the end of every conversation, 'ok lots of love, bye' it has become such a common thing for him to say that he actually said this at ... (read in full...)
Is my partner of 5 years gay because he was texting gay men?
Q. my partner of 5 years is everything in a man i have ever wanted, he has very endearing qualities and treats me like a princess.Then 3 weeks ago i found out he was flirting with another women at work and he stated he did not sleep with her and never ...
A. 21 May 2007: Ok, from a female British person, the fact that he is getting some sort of kick out of the whole flirting with the woman thing might be A) to prove to himself he is indeed hetrosexual B) proof to you that he is the stereotypical man, flirting office ... (read in full...)
What is going in a guy's head when he says "we should go out sometime" and then.... he just forgets he said it?
Q. sorry but i was just wondering what going on if a guy says to me that 'oh, we should go out whenever', then when i reply 'yea', he seems to forget that and doesn't mention it again? do i seem desperate or too interested in him? i'm not sure if i'm ...
A. 21 May 2007: Same thing happened to me...so when you next meet him, say hi your how are you's etc then tell him you have something to tell him. Don't say a question as he will immediately get defensive, get him intrigued and then say to him "Do you want to see ... (read in full...)
I need help making a decision to emigrate to Australia to be with my bf! Any advice?
Q. Hi - I need some help to decide whether to emigrate to Melbourne in Australia! A couple of years ago I separated from my husband having been married for 12 years. That relationship was abusive. I have since been seeing a great guy for 12 months ...
A. 21 May 2007: By the way I am British so I know where your from. I've lived in Australia, New Zealand, Hong Kong and now Canada so honestly go for it. By the way the golden mile, is 3 months - 2-3 weeks is a holiday, 4 is recovering from holiday and realising ... (read in full...)
I need help making a decision to emigrate to Australia to be with my bf! Any advice?
Q. Hi - I need some help to decide whether to emigrate to Melbourne in Australia! A couple of years ago I separated from my husband having been married for 12 years. That relationship was abusive. I have since been seeing a great guy for 12 months ...
A. 21 May 2007: Ok for someone, me, who has moved around the world all my life, left jobs, schools etc between the ages of 14-30, I would say go for it but make sure your paperwork is absolutely correct and try and ask for some leave for 6 months from your current ... (read in full...)
What does a guy really mean when he says "I'm busy?"
Q. what is man really saying when he says "i'm busy"? ...
A. 21 May 2007: Ask him busy with what exactly? Think about the time and place too...I put my Dad's blackberry in a wine cooler one evening when he was 'busy' on it...I had had enough of half conversations and that he was busy...with work. I did object it was a ... (read in full...)
I have a bf and the ex is in town! Would it be harmless to continue seeing my ex over the next few weeks or would be a betrayal of my boyfriend?
Q. I'm currently in a happy, fufilling relationship that's lasted for almost a year. I have no desire for this relationship to end. I've never, ever been unfaithful before, but last night i cheated on my boyfriend. The reason i did was because an e...
A. 21 May 2007: There is no happy medium...sorry tell me why does your ex NOT care? Not care about what exactly...you, you being involved or what...I don't understand.... (read in full...)
On the pill and now I am getting brown discharge! What's going on?
Q. Hi im 16 and have been on the pill for about 4 years. A while back i started to get a brown coloured discharge with the odd spot of blood in it but not much. I noticed it again about 2 weeks later and then it went. However its started again now and ...
A. 21 May 2007: Hi, I can't say on an individual basis for you but you are just like me. I started the pill when I was 14 for 3 week duration periods, brown discharge and sickness. I am now 33 had a baby and I was told that when I had a child my 'cycle' would ... (read in full...)
How old do you have to be when getting on the pill or buying condoms?
Q. Can you please tell me how old you have to be before you buy the Pill, condoms? xxx...
A. 21 May 2007: Hi in the UK I believe 16 for both as you are age of consent but I guess if you buy condoms from a machine in the pub it doesn't matter what age. If you want to go on the pill do the right thing and go and see a health clinic or your doctor. Don't ... (read in full...)
Having money problems and feel like I can't afford to go on my friend's birthday night out... can I??
Q. Im in a real dilemma all advise welcome!!! its my friends birthday next week and and shes arranged to go to this place up london, the problem is im having real money trouble at the moment (she knows my financial situation) ive already told her i ca...
A. 21 May 2007: Ok, I've been in the same situation, not even a fiver in the overdraft to cover next week. Singing or writing poems as I know from being British given she is girl who wants to go up to London clubbing will probably make you never invited out again. ... (read in full...)
Is a 38DD bra size at 15 years old too big?
Q. i am 15 and a 38 DD is that normal. i think i'm to big for my age?? hElP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
A. 9 May 2007: First of all this is no panic to get a breast reduction as so many do in N. America. I was the same size at 15/16. I look back at photos and this and think GOD! Now I am proud and happy with my healthy boobs, no surgeon messing on, no scars etc. ... (read in full...)
I'm 3 weeks pregnant with my ex's baby, but he wants nothing to do with it because he wants to get back with his ex! Help!
Q. I'm about 3 weeks pregnant with my ex-boyfriends baby, we broke up in january after a very brief relationship, (although, having a physical one since last summer) because he is still in love with his ex-girlfriend from 2 years ago. About a week aft...
A. 9 May 2007: Listen, this guy has told you he wants to be with his ex or who ever flavour is at the moment. You have a child growing inside you and that love, time and committment will last a life time with him/her. He is still responsible to pay child support ... (read in full...)
My needs aren't being met in this relationship. How I can be more assertive, to improve life for us both??
Q. Objectively speaking, the girl I'm seeing is a real catch: smart, confident, caring, thoughtful, successful and hard working. We have a lot in common and share similar goals for the future. She has said she loves me many times and clearly means ...
A. 9 May 2007: You've answered your own question. I think maybe she is over-doing it perhaps to fit in to and I am sure if you had a frank conversation with her she would feel she is doing the illusion. If you are so apart on what you like doing, not practical ... (read in full...)
If I tell my partner it's over, he'll smash the house up as he's very manipulating and controlling. I don't know what to do???
Q. Hi i am 19 i have been in this relationship for 3.5 years. I have a little girl who is 2. Kevin is very manipulating and controling. He gets angry and shouts at me right in my face calls me names says he wishes i was dead. I want to end it so i can ...
A. 9 May 2007: Ok, I'm a Brit too. Married a Geordie spent 11 years with him and have a 6 year with him. I HAD the same situation with him. This is abusive behaviour to both yourself and your child and don't tell me he hasn't done it in front of her/her.
... (read in full...)
My husband and another man, stripped and kissed each other at a party..I was so embarrassed! Is he actually gay?
Q. Apologies for the length of this but I really really need to get this off my chest. Recently we had a party at our house and there was alcohol supplied, good music and a lot of food. However, it got embarrassing when my husband and his friend b...
A. 9 May 2007: Hi, being a Brit I've seen full grown hard rugby men get down to the bare briefs if nothing, and do all sorts...I think this was orchestrated and they were hoping you'd strip off and join in. I've snogged and performed oral on a girl in front of my ... (read in full...)
Should I meet up with my ex even though I now have a BF?
Q. Hi I'm meeting up with my ex this weekend. I only went out with him for a few months back in 2004, we split up because I felt that there wasn't that spark there, plus it was a long distance between us. I've been with my current boyfriend since ...
A. 9 May 2007: First of all jealously isn't love. Neither is envy. You have a new man on the scene and this ex is testing you willpower to see who you are. Can you imagine if you were to turn around and say I'm happy with someone else now. It would completely ... (read in full...)
My teacher kept me in for detention, kissed me and had sex with me on his desk.
Q. I need urgent help! I'm seeing my teacher during and after school. He gives me detension so I can see him at lunchtime. He's one of the nicest guys I've ever met, so I don't want to end this. The other day at lunch we were kissing and had se...
A. 9 May 2007: When you become a teacher you are suppossed to inform, teach, be an integral part of your life, this doesn't mean taking advantage or initiating a time alone...this is completely unacceptable. This man should be reported.
I hope he isn't in this ... (read in full...)
What should I expect when I'm with a boy and he wants to 'get off' with me?
Q. hi just a quick question! im kinda confused please can u tell me excactly what a boy expects when you get off with them? I haven't been put in this situation before and i want to know excactly what to do when it comes to it... please help i need to ...
A. 9 May 2007: Ok 'getting off' is snogging (ie kissing, nothing else) no romping, no girating etc, or being semi-naked. Having it off, is full blown rolling around the couch, can't find your bra stuff (foreplay) and shagging is fucking/making love whatever you ... (read in full...)
I'm 6 months pregnant, we are in couples therapy but he is still sleeping with someone else! How do I walk away?
Q. I'm having a difficult time walking away from someone and I need to. I am six months pregnant and really love this man, but he is sleeping with someone else and he can't make a decision. We have been in a relationship for over 3 years and were pla...
A. 9 May 2007: give up the therapy and start planning your future. He is either with you or not. That is the heart of the matter. You can so this alone knowing that you have no ties with this man. My husband cheated on throughout my pregnancy and when she was ... (read in full...)
I am not coping at all with our 2 year old son since he isn't around to help me!
Q. How can i get my ex to see how much he's hurting me? He fails to see how much im in love with him. I cant turn my feelings on and off and to add to my misery our son, whom is 2yrs old, is such a handful and all the signs point to ADHD and there is...
A. 9 May 2007: Hi Brit girl here. Why do you need your ex? Why aren't you dealing with the face value...forget about your ex for the moment. Start teaching yourself what your sons' world is everyday. Who says he has ADHD? Labels come quickly on children when they ... (read in full...)
My marriage is in trouble being of his lying, other females and his running away when he doesn't like something!
Q. I don't know what to do with my marriage. We have been together for almost 5 yrs 2 of them married. We have 2 kids together and everytime he gets mad he leaves. Whether it's for a week or a month he leaves us with NOTHING. He works and I stay at ...
A. 9 May 2007: I admire you, you are training to go into an incredibly difficult career and you see the blatant life of what hare learn and dealing what happens in society happening in front of your eyes. And its happening to you, the storming out, the moods, ... (read in full...)
Was I raped?
Q. is i rape if you wake up to find someone having sex with you?...
A. 9 May 2007: Rape is when someone has unconsenual sex with you, meaning you never uttered the words yes or no. This is rape. Yes we've all had the sleepy sex in the night where you don't hold up you sign and say yeah or ney, it is something you do because you ... (read in full...)
What should I expect when I'm with a boy and he wants to 'get off' with me?
Q. hi just a quick question! im kinda confused please can u tell me excactly what a boy expects when you get off with them? I haven't been put in this situation before and i want to know excactly what to do when it comes to it... please help i need to ...
A. 9 May 2007: Ok getting off here in N. America has an entirely different meaning. If you want to snog this lad, and get off then that's it, lips, caresses but no below the belt line. That is what getting off is...you stop the below the belt line by not getting ... (read in full...)
My bf is on a long trip, how do I keep my urges curbed without him?
Q. My boyfriend is away on a trip and it's been three months. I have never gone this long without sex before and it is totally getting to me. I'm totally irritable and depressed. I wouldn't dream of cheating on him, and masturbation is just not working ...
A. 9 May 2007: First of all why do you miss him? Sexual desires or do you miss him? Talking to him, hanging out...it can't all be physical?
My Dad didn't have sex for the last five years of her life (my Mother) but spending time with her, talking with her, goi... (read in full...)
I lost my Father...Does anyone have any advice for how I can step out of this cycle of regret I seem to be in, since he died?
Q. My father died last October and I'm feeling quite upset and regretful for not having enjoyed my life more for him to see while he was alive. He was a beautiful, lovely man and died at 60, well before his time. I am 32 and although I know he was ...
A. 5 May 2007: Hi, thought about you a lot and what you're thinking. There is no golden time when grief is over, people told me that it was 2 years whatever...it doesn't matter. Why should you learn not to value or remember someone special after a specific time? ... (read in full...)
Recently I heard that an old teacher of mine has cancer and wants to keep it secret. He lives a long way away from me. Last night, late, I received what appears to be a farewell email from this teacher. He has not mailed me in 3 years! I replied imme
Q. Hi all, I have posted here before and need your help again. An old acquaintance of mine has cancer, I'm not supposed to know, but I do. Years ago, when I was married, I was involved in a sports club, and went on not just to local levels but also to ...
A. 5 May 2007: When you are dying of an illness you select people who you think would want to know. If it was a means of relaying the information so be it, but leave him alone. He told you because he knew you'd tell people. It doesn't matter how long it has ... (read in full...)
I feel otherwise about my family whom has been created around an illusion
Q. My parents seem to have made considerable efforts in creating a so-called ideal family. But it is like a false illusion to display to the outside world. In reality there are lot of internal problems in my family, no one respects the other, no one ...
A. 5 May 2007: Kiora, First of all everyone creates an illusion, sometimes it is an aspiration of a parent or child trying to do better no matter how they do it. Even if it isn't right.
Are you still living at home? If you find your family and your existenc... (read in full...)
I lost my Father...Does anyone have any advice for how I can step out of this cycle of regret I seem to be in, since he died?
Q. My father died last October and I'm feeling quite upset and regretful for not having enjoyed my life more for him to see while he was alive. He was a beautiful, lovely man and died at 60, well before his time. I am 32 and although I know he was ...
A. 5 May 2007: Hi, I lost my Mum at 30. I was married at the time and had a 3 year old. While it was wonderful to know my Mum saw me get married, see me being pregnant, have a grandchild it doesn't matter, because now that I ticked off the list of ... (read in full...)
My dad "touches" me but when I tell him no, he goes into a tantrum!
Q. Well I have had this problem since around age 12 I am 15 now. I do not like my dad touching me as he holds me like my bf on my hips want to hum him plevis to pelvis. He use to be worse by sometimes just opening the shower curtain on me and making ...
A. 30 April 2007: Hey there, tell me how you are? I am concerned and have wondered how you are? Please let me know if I can help in anyway? Please don't disappear, that isn't the answer.
Please let us help you. You can reply to me privately if needed. Take car... (read in full...)
He raped me and forced me to do things! Now he wants me back..should I or shouldn't I?
Q. well it jus a question that i know i am the oe toanswer but i would like someone elses point of view. i am 15 in a fortnight. my ((bf/exbf)) is 17 i went out with him for 2 and a half months but i sed i didnt want to sleep with him and he sed ok ...
A. 30 April 2007: I was raped at 17 and I'm now 33. I've regretted it for the rest of my life that I didn't report him. He is dead now. He died from AIDS, fortunately I didn't contract anything from him, but I still go every 6 months for a test. Death for him ... (read in full...)
What if I've got it wrong and I really do love him? What will I do then? Can someone help me please?
Q. I am married with 3 children. My husband and i have been together for 10 years. Last year he started a new job which meant he had to spend a lot of time away from home. Meanwhile i was pregnant with our 3rd child, running a business and moving ...
A. 30 April 2007: I agree with everyone who has replied. I think you are phenomenal to manage with three children, deal with yourself and a new born and find some solace and that you know you were happier without him. Ask him for a divorce and tell him to stop ... (read in full...)
I'm 12 and pregnant! HELP!
Q. I am only 12 and i am pregnant.Me and my boyfreind wo is 13 nearly 14 used protection but it split.Only me and him no but i need to no what to do.PLEASE HELP!(i have gone a few weeks)...
A. 26 April 2007: Listen to all the other posts this poor girl is terrified. stop criticising her for having under-aged sex...ok she broke the law, but don't we all, illegally parking, jay-walking. This is obviously more serious than getting a parking ticket. To ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hits me but I still love him, what should I do?
Q. i am in love but its all wrong its not like when i was little and love was easy and...... he hits me and then after he is really sorry and he is not a wife beater its just i do things wrong somtimes. I know its all my fault and i know that i ...
A. 26 April 2007: My ex-husband hit me and threw me up against walls, throttled me etc for 11 years and I married him! I thought it was my mission to change a man who had come from an abusive childhood, that things could be different. My father never hit me and ... (read in full...)
When he doesn't get his way he is uncontrollable.
Q. Hello, I need some advice about toddlers. My son is two and a half years old, he is chatting well, understands and asks for things by name, and knows when he wants something he asks or gives the indication for it, and repeats words, problem i...
A. 26 April 2007: and yes he knows exactly what he is doing to push your buttons...he knows what sends you over the edge, how to get your attention...unfortunately he sees you smacking him as attention. This is the wrong kind of attention he is seeking and I am sure ... (read in full...)
My dad "touches" me but when I tell him no, he goes into a tantrum!
Q. Well I have had this problem since around age 12 I am 15 now. I do not like my dad touching me as he holds me like my bf on my hips want to hum him plevis to pelvis. He use to be worse by sometimes just opening the shower curtain on me and making ...
A. 18 April 2007: Hey there, What's been happenening? Worried about you. You tell us and let us know if we can help you even make contact with someone because you can't.
Please let us know how you are doing, you are special to us all.
Pork Hock... (read in full...)
My dad "touches" me but when I tell him no, he goes into a tantrum!
Q. Well I have had this problem since around age 12 I am 15 now. I do not like my dad touching me as he holds me like my bf on my hips want to hum him plevis to pelvis. He use to be worse by sometimes just opening the shower curtain on me and making ...
A. 15 April 2007: I have a little girl of 5 and if this man did this to her without question I would make his life totally miserable. He is invading your innocence and taking it away. I am 33 years old and have a wonderful relationship with my Dad. I've never ever ... (read in full...)
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