| Latest articles: Do We Have a Distorted Sense of What Love Really Is?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 June 2011: So I just wanted to say something about some of the myths and sayings about love and relationships that we hear all the time. Things like: - you'll know it when you feel it - when it's right, it's easy - you have to kiss a lot of frogs to f...
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I hope he works on his lying so we can get back together.
Q. Hello, I recently just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. The reason we broke up was because he constantly lied. He even lied about little stupid things. We really love each other so much but all that lying really tore us apart. I hope he ...
A. 3 December 2010: If he does come back, will you really be able to trust him again? I mean, will you believe that he got better? Or will you doubt him and think that he might have gotten better at lying? That's the problem with lying and cheating. So hard to build ... (read in full...)
Am I not getting turned on by my partner because I still have sexual fantasies about another guy?
Q. I was in a relationship with my bf for almost 3 years and I broke up with him because I felt like it wasn't right to be with him anymore since I started to become irritated with everything he does.. During the break up, I started hooking up this ...
A. 2 December 2010: Chances are that the sexual fantasies with the other guy don't help. But I think the major factor is more the fact that you and your bf are in a rocky patch. If you're always irritated with everything he does, it's hard for him to turn you on. In ... (read in full...)
Have I ruined my relationship forever?
Q. Hello. I think I may have messed up big time with my boyfriend. We were together a year and a half and he would sometimes say things to me jokingly but it hurt my feelings, or he would continue to bring up my past before him (like the fact that I ...
A. 2 December 2010: Definitely be glad! He's an insulting jerk. You can dress and sit the way you want! And there's no shame in dating or marrying a white guy. Be glad you're rid of him, and hopefully he took some of what you said to heart!... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be really concerned about potentially catching an STD?
Q. Is it normal to be very hesitant about dating new people because you don't want to get an STD? Everyone seems to not care and it makes me wonder if I'm worrying about it too much. However, I feel like most people would lie if it's convenient. I ...
A. 1 December 2010: I think it's great that you're taking the risk of STDs seriously. Too many people don't. I would recommend talking to a health care professional about your worries. Talk to them about the risks of STDs and how you can best prevent them. Chances are ... (read in full...)
How do I stop being so childish now my best guy friend has got a girlfriend?
Q. OK, so it's sounds pretty trivial, but i've been having a complex about it. Basically, i've had a crush on my best guy friend,for as long as i can remember. I wasn't that fussed about dating him to be honest because he'd always assured me that i w...
A. 29 November 2010: I'd recommend getting to know her. Have some 1 on 1 girl time. And then you can think of it less as losing him to her, and more as gaining another friend. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend I'm not a virgin?
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together just over a month. he's told me he loves me but it seems like whenever we're together all we're doing is making out and every time it goes a little bit futher. i'm kind of apprehensive to let him get too far ...
A. 29 November 2010: No, if you do, chances are it will only upset the both of you. He might feel angry that you had sex before, but now won't with him. You really have no obligation to tell him (unless you were unsafe before and could give him an STD, once the 2 of you ... (read in full...)
How should I tell my parents about my boyfriend?
Q. So I've been dating this guy for about 4 going on 5 years now and we've been good friends before we even started dating but I've never told my parents. Most of our relationship has been long distance and my parents have never met him before (he ...
A. 29 November 2010: I would suggest telling them beforehand. Let them get used to the idea a bit before bringing the boy home to meet them. That way they have some time to compose themselves and the whole meeting might go a bit better.
As for telling them, tell the... (read in full...)
Am I selfish for thinking "what about me?"
Q. Hi All I'm nearly 22 and I've been with my fiance for nearly 4 years and we have two little girls. We live together and are getting married at the end of next year. Our youngest is only 4 months and I fell pregnant with our eldest at the end of my...
A. 29 November 2010: Definitely agree with dirtball. Parenthood is a 2 person responsibility. They're both of your kids, and he needs to step up and share some of the burden. Sure, he may be the one making money while you take care of the children, at least for now, but ... (read in full...)
Role play gone horribly wrong!
Q. Please help me. I just kicked my boyfriend out of the house (he didnt live here) because he played a joke on me that went too far. He told me that he was going to war out of the blue. That they needed him and he couldn't tell me when or where he ...
A. 29 November 2010: I would say that you try and work things out. You had talked about role play before, and war and risk can heighten passion. He probably didn't think about the relation it could have in your mind to the loss of your husband and mom. You didn't get ... (read in full...)
My fiance told me the "spark" is gone! What can I do?
Q. My fiance and I have been together for just under a year, although we've known each other for well over five years. After spending the first few months of our relationship being long distance due to his final months in the military we talked a ...
A. 29 November 2010: It's hard to tell from this whether there's anything you can do to bring back the spark. If it was from fighting or lack of physical intimacy/connection or a lack of excitement, these are things that you could work to bring back.
Talk to him abou... (read in full...)
Should I get my ex a Christmas and a birthday gift?
Q. I was just wanting an opinion about getting an ex girlfriend a present for her birthday and gift for Christmas (her b-day is early in the month and then I was just thinking getting her something small for Christmas). She has a boyfriend and I ...
A. 29 November 2010: Like the other people said, it would be a bad idea. Are you even still friends? Have you met her boyfriend? Do you get along with him? I would say that if you are still friends and you get to know the boyfriend, it might later on become okay to get ... (read in full...)
Little guy, big girl need advise on positions
Q. okay, well my gf is a little taller than i am and she is also a bit heavier than i am and i've come to realize that is beacause of this that we find our self doing the same position in bed over and over. any tips for a better sexlife? I have be...
A. 29 November 2010: As I'm not really sure what position you're doing right now, I'll just give you some tips on a few positions. 1) Doggy and variations: in bed or on the couch, floor, wherever. You can vary it up with her on all fours, or if you do it on the edg... (read in full...)
Should I stay with my husband or destroy everything for my boyfriend?
Q. I am in a situation that I am married and have been for seven years. I have a boyfriend who I have meet at work and he is in early 20's and I am in my late 20's. We have gotten close to the point I have developed strong feelings for him. I actullay ...
A. 29 November 2010: You've been talking to your boyfriend for 3 months, compared to your 14 year relationship with your husband. The chemistry is great with your boyfriend. Well, that's not surprising. He's someone new, it's exciting, you feel sexy and attractive. But ... (read in full...)
I've never dated anyone but my boyfriend and I'm afraid someday I'll regret that I never experimented
Q. Hi. I need some advice. I feel just awful about what i said to my boyfriend of almost 5 years. So we've been having issues over the last few months, took a 2 week break, stayed together. The issues have pretty much resolved, except that i started ...
A. 29 November 2010: I've been through that too, and I know it's really confusing. Because on the one hand you want to make it work and you love him, but you feel like you might be missing out and you'll never know anything else. And it's such a difficult decision to ... (read in full...)
Can anyone share relationships that have gone right?
Q. So I enjoy answering questions here on dearcupid when I have spare time. The thing is they are mostly about relationships gone wrong/problems/etc. I was wondering if people would post about relationships they are in or have been in where things ...
A. 29 November 2010: Yes, I'm so happy you posted this question! I was getting depressed by all the sad stories on here.
I'll post about my current relationship. Been together close to 2 years now, living together with 1 dog and 3 cats. I wouldn't say that things a... (read in full...)
Do guys say cute stuff that they don't mean?
Q. So you know how everyone says, guys always say stuff they don't mean. Well I was wondering is that really true, cause now I'm starting to think sometimes when my boyfriend says cute stuff that maybe he doesn't mean it. I know this kinda sounds ...
A. 29 November 2010: Everyone says things they don't mean sometimes. I think guys get the reputation for doing it more because of the fact that the playboys will say anything to get a girl into bed. If you've been with your boyfriend for awhile and he treats you well ... (read in full...)
Everytime something goes wrong boyfriend puts all the blame on me
Q. So today my boyfriend and I were suppose to hang out, but his parents told him he couldn't hang out with me until he was done with his homework. He told me it was going to take forever to complete his work, so I told him that we didn't need to hang ...
A. 29 November 2010: I think he's a lousy, abusive, controlling boyfriend and you could do much better. Break up with him, go back to talking to your friends, and wait for someone to come along that will treat you right. ... (read in full...)
I can't make him cum by hand stimulation, I feel guilty, any advice?
Q. Been with my boyfriend for about 5 months. Completely happy with him and like things how they are. But there is just one thing, when I am giving him a handjob I can't make him cum. He takes ages and my arm ends up aching before he does so he gets ...
A. 28 November 2010: Actually making a guy cum by a handjob isn't as easy as it seems, so don't feel too bad. It's easy for him because he knows what he's feeling and what he needs. So try to get more feedback from him. Ask him to tell you when he's close, or if you ... (read in full...)
How many texts/calls a day is considered too needy or clingy?
Q. What is considered too needy or clingy? How many phone calls/texts a day? And how much can we expect phone calls/texts/communication back from a person without expecting too much?...
A. 28 November 2010: It really depends on what the interaction is like. If you're both calling each other and happy to hear from each other, calling/texting lots of times a day is fine and not clingy at all. If he doesn't want to talk so often, then even 1 call per day ... (read in full...)
Next step in this relationship?
Q. I'm seeing a gal since more than a month.. we've been out for dinners, pubs, day-long trips on my motor bike, late night ice-creams n other friendly chats.. I've been liking her a lot lately and getting attracted to her physically/sexua...
A. 28 November 2010: Since her semester is going to end, I would recommend not doing much of anything. She's leaving in a few days, so it would not be a good idea to get involved in a long distance relationship. If you'd like, you could tell her you think she's a great ... (read in full...)
What else can I do to woo her?
Q. I'm a guy who oves his girl, very much, two people couldnt be more in love and right for each other. Due to recent activity I don't get to see her as often as I would like, she doesn't live too far away but I want to do SOMETHING straight from the...
A. 26 November 2010: I did this once: I blew up a balloon for each day we were together, so the room had about 170-180 balloons. This was for our 6 month.
And my bf did this for me, which I thought was really sweet. He was away from town, but came back early, w... (read in full...)
Is it ok for me to ask to be exclusive?
Q. I have been dating someone for over 2 months now and things are relatively well. He asked for us to get tested for stds because he wants to go off condoms. Is it ok for me to ask for us to be dating exclusively?? I do not not know if he's dating ...
A. 22 November 2010: Just 1 tip, for HIV, it won't be detected until 3 months afterwards, I believe. So you want to wait for 3 months since the last time either of you last had sex with someone else to get tested for that. And in the meantime not have sex with anyone ... (read in full...)
Confused but committed.
Q. I cant seem to break my habit of constantly asking my girlfriend if she is happy in our relationship and she is getting annoyed by it, I have been told it is because of a lack of confidence in myself and in our relationship..but here's the ...
A. 22 November 2010: People fight, disagree, and get annoyed. If you're in a strong relationship, you should be able to say to yourself that it's okay, and that despite any words that are said, at the end of the day, you'll still be together. You can ask her a millio... (read in full...)
Is my calmness going to backfire when his baby is born?
Q. I've only been dating this guy for a month but we've completely hit it off, we spend every waking moment together and we're pretty fond of each other. I've met his family and friends and they have welcomed me and vice versa. He had a one night st...
A. 22 November 2010: It all depends on what you can deal with. Are you okay with being with somebody that has a child with someone else? That he will be financially supporting the baby for 18 years? That he will be spending time with and have somebody that he has to ... (read in full...)
Should I end my relationship?
Q. Should I end my relationship? My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now and the relationship has been pretty rocky because I have been very jealous and we both are very stubborn and stuck in our own ways. My situation is this...
A. 22 November 2010: Ideally, he would come to you about your problems and the 2 of you could deal with them. However, if problems aren't resolved and he's angry, upset, stressed, etc, he needs to deal with those feelings in some way, and maybe his way is to vent to and ... (read in full...)
Stopping and starting the pill
Q. I have stopped seeing my boyfriend and not looking to start another relationship anytime soon, if I stop taking the pill can I then go back on it again after weeks/months/years to protect myself again??...
A. 21 November 2010: Yes, you can. Just remember that when you start it again, the pill doesn't protect you for the first month when you start it.... (read in full...)
How long were you in a relationship as a teen before losing virginity?
Q. I'm 16, and i have a lovely boyfriend. he treats me right and im really happy, but it's only been a month. i want to know if you lost your virginity at my age, how long were you in a relationship for?...
A. 21 November 2010: I lost my virginity at 18, and I had met him in September, started dating a few weeks after that, and then had sex after about 1 month of dating. And it was honestly a pretty bad experience. I didn't know anything about birth control (and the condom ... (read in full...)
I feel like my boyfriend's dirty little secret
Q. Hoping someone can shed some light on the relationship situation i am in. I have been seeing this guy for 15mths now and although when the mood takes him he will say he loves me, i have never felt so unloved and insecure in my life. I am 35 and h...
A. 21 November 2010: To be honest, this doesn't strike me as a relationship, but more like a long term friends with benefits thing. He sees you when the mood strikes him, late at night. He doesn't introduce you to anyone in his life. And he doesn't involve you in his ... (read in full...)
Is this an appropriate subject for her to discuss with my husband??
Q. I want to do a poll... Is it appropiate that a female friend of my husbands told him about her getting a boob job? Also if there are any other topics you think are taboo to mention to an opposite sex friend when both parties are attached please s...
A. 20 November 2010: I would say this isn't really taboo. Like aunthonesty said, most guys don't find fake boobs that great. So if she wanted to attract him, it'd work more if she just didn't say anything and flaunted them to him.
And did the boob job happen after th... (read in full...)
I don't understand how this whole reproduction system works!
Q. I know this is a common question. But pls i need help. I don't understand how this whole reproduction system works. Can i fall preg after having sex 6 days after my periods? When am i likely to fall preg(if terms of days after periods)?...
A. 19 November 2010: If the start of your period is day 1 of your cycle (and this is for a 28 day cycle), ovulation is day 14. But remember, every woman is different, cycles are different, and sperm can stay alive inside the woman for several days. So to stay the most ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to end a good relationship?
Q. This may sound a little crazy but im thinking about ending a relationship, when there is nothing wrong with him. We have been together for 3yrs, and they have been great years together. we started as friends which evolved into a really fun ...
A. 18 November 2010: I always thought it would be easy to break up before I had a relationship. Like if the guy cheats, it's over. Or if he hits me, it's over. Or does drugs, or whatever. But I never thought about how hard it would be and all those situations where it's ... (read in full...)
Why don't my parents want me to grow up?
Q. I'm 23 and still living at home. I envy my cousins who are in their twenties and have children with their partners out of wedlock. My parents are really conservative and I'm not. They think that you have to be married just to leave home! I ...
A. 18 November 2010: Then leave the house. You're an adult altogether, there isn't anything they can really do other than yell at you and take away financial support. So as long as you can support yourself, you can leave and start your own life and get your ... (read in full...)
Did it take you a long time to conceive?
Q. I just have a simple question for everyone out there who has kids, or is expecting. I would just like to know, did it ever take any of you a long time, months, years possibly, for you and your partner to conceive? I know some people it cou...
A. 18 November 2010: It took me a little over a year to conceive. We weren't actively trying (like we didn't measure temperatures and hormone levels, etc to find out my ovulation time). We just had sex on a pretty regular basis, and it took over a year. Maybe 14 months. ... (read in full...)
I want to go out with friends on my birthday and now she's threatening to break up with me!
Q. I've been dating my girlfriend for 6 years now. Since the beginning she's always been hard to deal with when a disagreement arises, and she always refuses to compromise. It seems to me that she blames every fight on a failure on my part. Most ...
A. 18 November 2010: Ampersand has it right. In these 6 years, she keeps getting her way and you keep letting her. The only way things are going to change are if you make her see that she can't keep pushing you around and getting her way.
So the next time somethin... (read in full...)
What is the big deal with ones partner watching porn?
Q. I always see a lot of married couples or people dating complaining about their husband/boyfriend watching porn. Why dont they like it when they do it? Because really I would be up for watching it with them, but other people dont seem to feel that ...
A. 15 November 2010: A lot of the time the partner isn't looking for them to watch porn with them. They do it behind their partner's back, when they aren't around, and try to hide it from them. Sometimes it's really excessive, and sometimes it accompanies a lack of sex ... (read in full...)
Not knowing what skeletons my girfriend has in her closet is driving me crazy!
Q. I've been going out with my girlfriend for about a year, and we've been discussing marriage. I recently found out that my girlfriend is very worried that one or more of her former friends (my girfriend had a falling out with a couple of her fr...
A. 14 November 2010: I would talk to your girlfriend about this. Tell her that the fact that she is so afraid that you will find out about her past is making you worry about what it is that you don't know. That it's probably worse than actually knowing the truth. Ask ... (read in full...)
She's going by his last name and they're not even married!
Q. I can't seem to get over my ex. Over 4 1/2 years with my boyfriend I found out he had been cheating. I was pregnant at the time (we had tried for 3 years and all had resulted in miscarriages). He had been with her for 4 months and it was a long ...
A. 14 November 2010: What they have doesn't sound like the makings of a happily ever after. Happily ever after isn't the marriage, it's the strong relationship. She's been cheated on, he's a cheater, and they both have kids from other relationships. If he does get a ... (read in full...)
How to bring the Spark back in your relationship.
Q. How do you bring the spark back into a relationship when it is suffered from external factor, that can be sorted out, but put strain on the relationship. Ideas on bringing the spark back would be appreciated! ...
A. 14 November 2010: It's funny, but one of the most successful things I found in bringing the spark back into my relationship was calling each other cute silly names and just being dumb and couply together. We hit a rough spot and it was hard for awhile, and we started ... (read in full...)
Any tips for having anal sex?
Q. Hey, Me and my boyfriend want to try anal sex, we have attempted it before but I want to be prepared this time. I got an anal douche, but I don't know how long before sex I should use it. Also, I travell up to his on the train (3 hours) will ...
A. 13 November 2010: I find the easiest position is if you lie on your tummy, spread your legs a bit, and he lies down on top of you. It's hard for him to keep balance and move, but I find it hurts a lot less.
Preparation wise, get a small butt plug and use it on yo... (read in full...)
Is activating your dating account cheating?
Q. if you met someone online and made your account inactive when things progress between you both is it classed as cheating if you go back online and re-activate your account and look at other profiles without the other persons knowledge? ...
A. 13 November 2010: Essentially yes. There's different degrees, but it is pretty much cheating. Especially if the assumption is that the 2 of you are supposed to be not looking anymore. Because a dating site is meant for looking for dates. The people on there are ... (read in full...)
Anything but a fairytale..
Q. About 5 years ago I met once of the nicest sweetest people in the world and fell in love with her. Sounds like a fairy tale, but it is anything but. The truth is that from the get go I based our relationship on a lie and I had fidelity problems. ...
A. 12 November 2010: Despite the history that the 2 of you have, this is a somewhat new relationship. It's a new start, and from what you're saying, it seems like she doesn't want to start it off indebted to her boyfriend, which is reasonable. The living situation is ... (read in full...)
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