| shadesofblue, posted
over a year ago
Good Lover
1.Attentive
2.Unselfish
3.Confident
4.Considerate
5.Imaginative/Open-minded
Ok, this list could basically go on and on but what really makes a good lover is a man who pays attention to his lover's needs and desires and unselfishly tries to please her. By saying "please her" I am not necessarily referring to ensuring her orgasm...not that you shouldn't make that a priority, it's just that that's not the most important aspect of sex to most women. Besides if she thinks you are completely preoccupied with making her come she will be too and that usually makes it even less likely to happen. It is important that you make her feel good about herself. Don't lie to her, but if you are being intimate with her then you obviously appreciate some of her qualities and you should compliment her. Make her feel special, like she is the only woman in your world. You should be unselfish with her, too. The fact is that regardless to what happens during sex the man is almost guaranteed a happy ending. Unfortunately for us ladies that's not always the case. It doesn't take a genius to figure out the ins and outs of sex (no pun intended, although it did make me giggle to myself). Sex involves a lot of things...licking, kissing, sucking, rubbing, etc. and the fact is that if you would like something done to you she would probably like it done to her, too. Be unselfishly willing to go all out for her even if the favor is not returned.... but I'm betting it will be. Most importantly, pay attention to her cues. If she moans, thrusts into you, or mentions that she enjoys some aspect of sex then show that you are an attentive and considerate lover and do more of it. Now sometimes it's nice to have a man totally take charge in bed, but even then you need to pay close attention to her. If she shows signs that she is enjoying whatever you are doing then great, but if she seems uncomfortable with it then stop. You don't have to feel uncomfortable or like an ass about it either, just kiss her during the transition and change pace. It doesn't necessarily mean that she completely opposed to whatever you were attempting either, maybe she was just not in the mood at the time...give it some time then try again, or better yet, revisit the topic with her and find out how she really feels about it. You might be surprised. Now, confidence is on the list simply because confidence is just damn sexy. You don't have to be the world's greatest lover to be the lover of her dreams. If you are attentive in bed, you will discover what she doesn't care for, what she likes, and what she absolutely loves. Once you know how to give her what she loves you should have all the confidence you need. Be creative with sex. Show her that you are willing to try new things and go the extra mile to spruce things up sometimes. You don't have to go crazy with this...it takes a lot less than you might think. Save the money you might spend on the superman costume and the sex swing and just light some candles, play a sexy burnt cd, and give her a sexy massage that leads into extended foreplay. Something like that, even just once in a while, will rank you among the best. Hope this helps, and good luck with all that! ;)
Bad Lover
This list is essentially the exact opposite of the other.
1.Self-focused
2.Selfish
3.Inconsiderate
4.Inhibited
5.Unimaginative/closed-minded
Posted on 7 October 2008 @ 7:51 (London time) - permalink
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