New here? Register in under one minute Already a member? Login

244985 questions, 1084399 answers

Dear Cupid > Forums > Cupid's Lounge > Chain mail, got any classics?

Chain mail, got any classics?

BigSis, posted over a year ago

Hello, my name is Billy and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion f**king chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe, if you send them on, a poor six-year-old girl in Scotland with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show.

And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give $1000 to you, and everyone to whom you send 'his' email? How stupid are we?

Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day! What a bunch of bullshit.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomise me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by St Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim stowaways on the Endeavour.

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the 'send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow

receive a nickel from some omniscient being' forwards about 90 times. I don't fucking care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own unpopularity.

The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.

If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.

Have a nice day.

Billy Connolly

PS Send me 15 bucks and then f**k off!!

Posted on 11 July 2008 @ 15:52 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

pepper27, posted over a year ago

HE! HE! HE! HE GOT THAT RIGHT THOUGH! I hate those bloody send this on to 10 people shit and you will see how muched you are loved crap! So if Ive no cred Im not loved BOO FUCKING HOO!!!!! (:0) XXXXXX

Posted on 11 July 2008 @ 17:53 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

pepper27, posted over a year ago

svedish again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted on 11 July 2008 @ 17:54 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

..... and how about the ones that end

"send this on to at least 10 people and something amazing will happen on your screen within 10 seconds. Don't ask me how it works - it just does!"

DELETE!

Posted on 11 July 2008 @ 18:47 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

The ones that I really fooking hate are the ones that threaten you with misfortune. I received one from a friend that said something to the effect that "the last person that didn't send this had a child fall in front of their car and die. Anthor guy didn't forward it, and died the day before his wedding... Send this to 10 people within 15 minutes of recieving it."

I send it back to the friend that sent it to me - ten times.

*evil grin*

I still have a few friends left, amazingly enough!

Posted on 12 July 2008 @ 1:54 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

pepper27, posted over a year ago

Da thing that gets me hun is WHY! A friend would send it in the first place WHY! Dont they read it properly for fook sake, Anywhosewoosy I like this one its a normal funny text......

Can't believe afta all da shit theyve bin throu they're still 2gether

who?

your bum cheeks! HA! HA! Should I grow up yet? nope! I refuse (:0)

Posted on 12 July 2008 @ 10:52 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

BigSis, posted over a year ago

Here's a classic, I received it this evening;

QUOTE:

"This was sent to me by my accountant ... if you think this is ridiculous I have no problem giving you his contact information.

Read carefully...

THIS TOOK TWO PAGES OF THE TUESDAY USA-TODAY, IT IS FOR REAL."

"To all of my friends, I do not usually forward messages, but this is from my friend Pearlas Sandborn and she really is an attorney. If she says that this will work - It will work. After all, what have you got to lose?

SORRY EVERYBODY.. JUST HAD TO TAKE THE CHANCE!!! I'm an attorney, And I know the law. This thing is for real. Rest assured.

AOL and Intel will follow through with their promises for fear of facing a multimillion-dollar class action suit similar to the one filed by PepsiCo against General Electric not too long ago."

"Dear Friends: Please do not take this for a junk letter. Bill Gates sharing his fortune. If you ignore this, You will repent later.

Microsoft and AOL are now the largest Internet companies and in an effort to make sure that Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program, Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail

beta test.

When you forward this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will track it (If you are a Microsoft Windows user) for a two week time period.

For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay you $245.00.

For every person that you sent it to that forwards it on, Microsoft will pay you $243.00 and for every third person that receives it, You will be paid $241.00. Within two weeks, Microsoft will contact you for your address and then send you a check.

Regards. Charles S Bailey - General Manager Field Operations.

1-800-842-2332 Ext. 1085 or 904-1085 or RNX 292-1085"

"Thought this was a scam myself, but two weeks after receiving this e-mail and forwarding it on, Microsoft contacted me for my address and

within days, I received a check for $24, 800.00. You need to respond before the beta testing is over. If anyone can afford this, Bill gates is the man.

It's all marketing expense to him. Please forward this to as many people as possible. You are bound to get at least $10,000.00. We're not going to help them out with their e-mail beta test without getting a little something for our time. My brother's girlfriend got in on this a few months ago. When I went to visit him for the Baylor/UT game, she showed me her check. It was for the sum of $4,324.44 ... and was stamped 'Paid In Full'."

Lol!!!

WTF??!!!

Posted on 13 July 2008 @ 1:42 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

or WACOS!

What A Crock Of S@%$!

What a gull-a-bull. What a nin-cow-poop. Don't you just love old Bugs Bunny cartoons.

Seriously, I have one friend who won't let up with these things. She's the one I sent it back to ten times, and she STILL sends these fooking things. Subtle didn't work, and neither did a sledgehammer to the side of the head. Any ideas BigSis?

Posted on 14 July 2008 @ 1:1 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

Tremor, posted over a year ago

My personal favourite:

"Hello!

My name is Nadezhda! I am a nice young girl from Russia, without harmful habits. I am interested in you and decided to write to you! I dreams to find the satellite of the life with whom it could be possible to have a really close relations with the trust in it and to be true in them. I search the clever, kind and careful man with whom, later, may be, we could to connect the future. I dreams to divide with him my pleasure and troubles, to feel a strong "shoulder" on which is possible to rely, that there was a mutual love.

What is about me: I modest, quiet, with easy character, correct and devoted, love home cosiness. I am a romantic nature and i'm always open for the intercourse. In free time I like going to the movies, or to some sporting events, to the pool, nature, and staying at home have fun as well. I'm open to just about anything! If you were interested by my letter, I shall be very glad to receive from you the answer. And I shall tell you about myself in the next letter. Also I shall send the photo. I do not know why, but my heart prompt me to write exactly you! I want to correspondence with you and I hope to hear from you soon!

I will wait."

There is something about spam in broken English that warms my heart, especially when it involves phrases like 'dreams to find the satellite of life' and 'open for the intercourse'.

Hehe.

Posted on 14 July 2008 @ 2:11 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

pepper27, posted over a year ago

Birdy hun next time she does it send this my lovely.....

Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasm again!!!!!!! But then again if you waste your time texting five people you may miss five wonderfull orgasms!!!!!I had the first bit and added me own ending and returned it!!!! HA! :)Must go to me place of work!!!!!!!!!

Posted on 15 July 2008 @ 9:40 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

Chain mail for a better sex life... Interesting concept Pepper Hunny! I think I would ACTAULLY forward that one on. You have to send it to ten of your friends, and include a condom and flavoured lube. Move your name to the top of the list. In two months, you will receive 120 condoms and packets of flavoured lubes, and your partner will wonder if you have opened a brothel... ROFL!!!!!!!!!!

Ohh, I think I'll send that one to my chain mail friend, she's been married for forty years and has prob forgotten what a condom looks like. *EVIL SMIRK*

It would be a fun one to word and start up, huh?????

Where is Uncle Phil when you need him...

Posted on 15 July 2008 @ 18:53 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

BigSis, posted over a year ago

Just had to share this...these people are not normal, I tell you, I reckon it's some kind of Alien code from Mars or Their'Anus!!...I mean Uranus!

"The Eye Test"

Can you find the B? (there are 2 B's) DON'T skip or your wish won't come True...

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

RRRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Once you've found the B - Find the 1

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

I1IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Once you found the 1 - Find the 6

9999999999999999999999999999999999

9999699999999999999999999999999999

9999999999999999999999999999999999

Once you've found the 6 - Find the N (it's hard!!)

MMMMMMMMMMMMM

MMMMMMMNMMMMM

MMMMMMMMMMMMM

Once you've found the N - Find the Q

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Now Make 2 wishes!

OK, NOW THAT U MADE A Wish, IT WILL COME TRUE.....ALL U HAVE 2 DO IS FORWARD TO 3 PEOPLE BUT IF YOU FORWARD TO MORE IT WILL HAPPEN SOONER.

______________________________________________

AAAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!! *tears hair out and bangs head on table!"

Posted on 4 August 2008 @ 22:33 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

pepper27, posted over a year ago

I percy venered hunny and 111111I1111111 found MMMMMMMMNMMMmmm all OOOOOOOQOOOohhhhh! it was haRRRRRRRBRd didnt take long about 999999969999999 minutes but your right its bloody annoying eh!!!!!!!!!def anus hunny :)xxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxx

Posted on 5 August 2008 @ 8:52 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

Yeah I managed to do it as well...I've no idea why...but I think i must just have been really quite bored. I did find them all though...dear oh dear...I must get back to my reading of Henry VIII and his six wives...actually quite interesting but its an 850 page book and i'm on page 324...long way to go!

Posted on 5 August 2008 @ 11:38 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

Hey Sofia, that sounds like a great book, he was a very interesting, very fat man...

Bigsis, what's wrong with me, I couldn't find the B's the N's and other things went missing. Anyway thanks for that one. Now my eyes are crossed for life. That's all I need. Who wants to date a large, crossed eyed girl.... Life is unfair.... (bohoho)

Posted on 5 August 2008 @ 12:54 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

BigSis, posted over a year ago

Lestat!...The reason you couldn't find any B's and you went cross~eyed is because I left them out...

Ha! ha! Heh! Heh! Ner! Ner! Boo! Boo!

And all you other aunts that said you found them......YOU LIE!

Posted on 6 August 2008 @ 22:27 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

pepper27, posted over a year ago

SECOND LINE DOWN 12th letter tell me thats a B please!!!!

Posted on 7 August 2008 @ 8:55 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

pepper27, posted over a year ago

or I am going mad hunny :(

Posted on 7 August 2008 @ 8:57 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

Yep thats a B I think BigSis took out the second B...I'm now very confused! Right time for a cuppa to wake up and I'm going to be really positive today :-) No more feeling sorry for myself!

Posted on 7 August 2008 @ 9:26 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

BigSis, posted over a year ago

Oo, so it is, you're right Soaf, I just removed the one ...silly me.

xXx

Posted on 7 August 2008 @ 13:48 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

pepper27, posted over a year ago

Thank goodness for that I thought Id truely lost the plot hunny, You can leave the straight jacket for now mate Im feeling soooooooooooooo much more grounded today, Cant speak for tomorrow yet though :) sofia Im glad your feeling more poss today hunny thats good to here big hugs and crazy smiles (:0) XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Posted on 7 August 2008 @ 18:22 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

Add a new message to this topic