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Why does my boyfriend not want oral sex?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 November 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 2 November 2010)
A female Mauritius age 36-40, *yrop writes:

Do guys love oral sex? Why does my bf does not want me to give him oral? we never did it but am really looking forward to it

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A male reader, digitalent Pakistan +, writes (2 November 2010):

Not all guys but some, when they really really respect a girl, they don't allow the her to give them blowjobs. Maybe he is one of them. You should consider yourself lucky if thats the case.

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A male reader, Tom14916 United States +, writes (2 November 2010):

Tom14916 agony auntWith all due respect to the anonymous female reader's response, it sounds like your bf has a hang-up, he's not making a conscious choice based on reason or based on his biology. To get to where you want to go, you'll have to desensitize him over a period of months, maybe even years, to the idea that 1) oral sex is not porn, 2) you really want to do it, and as such, he's depriving you of pleasure. As long as he's showered and clean, of course. Good luck.

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A female reader, syrop  Mauritius +, writes (2 November 2010):

syrop is verified as being by the original poster of the question

well he gives me cunnilingus however he says that oral on men is more porn rather than making love to one's wife

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A male reader, Tom14916 United States +, writes (2 November 2010):

Tom14916 agony auntGuys dream about oral sex! It's partly why men watch porn. However, we live in a prudish world where many people honestly believe that sex other than to procreate is filthy and sinful. Those notions of sex, in this case oral, as being dirty get imprinted on us as children. So, my hunch is that your bf has some emotional garbage in the way.

If religious conviction isn't the issue, I'd see if he'd be willing to sit down and watch some porn with you. Some of the stuff out there today is fairly high-brow, especially the stuff that's made by young couples who are just trying to earn a buck. By high-brow, I mean softcore porn without any degradation of women. Go check out www.camillecrimson.com for videos that communicate the idea of oral sex as an expression of love. A picture is worth a thousand words!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010):

a person's sexual boundaries should be respected, at all times. If your B/F is not comfortable with fellatio or cunnilingus, or any other sexual whim or peccadillo you want satisfied, then in all circumstances the people in the relationship should respect the boundaries that have been communicated to them by their partner. And not attempt to overturn another person's decision. To do the latter does not signal respect, genuine empathy, and care for the other party in the relationship. There are so many much more important priorities in life.

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A male reader, doublejack United States +, writes (2 November 2010):

Honestly, not all guys enjoy receiving oral. I'm not into it much myself. If a girl really wants to give me oral I will let her, but it doesn't do anything for me and I never request it.

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A male reader, Nice_Guy_451 United States +, writes (2 November 2010):

For some guys its not something they like. Depends on the guy I suppose. But I think if you talk to him, tell him you want to do it to him, you might be able to get him to try it. And he might like it. Just don't push too much or that might get bad.

Good luck and I hope you get to do that with him. :)

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