A
female
age
41-50,
*impleenough
writes:Am I looking for love of just desperate for it? I met this guy about two months ago and he is moving extremely slow. He has not completely broken ties with his old relationship, so I have not put up any pressure. However, we are both single (never married) and no kids and we are truly compatible in most areas. I enjoy the numerous opportunities for us to spend time together. I thought it was so special to spend the recent holidays together especially ringing in the new year together. The more and more I spend time with him I feel like he could be the one I am to share my love with, but he is moving at a snails pace. We have not been physical in anyway, just small pecks of affection are shown. He constantly praises me for my accomplishments, beauty, and intelligence. I am always hearing how refreshing spending time with me is to him, however, I am really confused. I really do adore him and can see myself with him because of our vibe. He stated that he was lacking what I have in his relationship with the other woman and this was also confirmed by a relative that his current relationship is nothing serious. Am I wasting my time? Is it too early to tell how he feels about me? Do I need to just coast day to day and let time tell? I don't want to be hurt but I feel like we could work on something serious. What in the world do I do to maintain my emotions and keep the patience? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, simpleenough +, writes (9 January 2008):
simpleenough is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much!!
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (9 January 2008):
 Be patient. We're so used to men maneuvering us into the bedroom after the second date, we don't recognize a good old fashioned guy! My b/f and I dated for four months before he finally made his move. And boy what a move! I'm glad I was patient and waited. Your guy may be shy, like mine was, and enjoys taking things slow. My b/f was the same way, we'd go out, have lunch, meet for coffee, have drinks after work, sometimes dinner but it was always friendly. Just a hug, maybe a light kiss on the cheek, nothing more than that. I was beginning to think I just didn't do it for him, then bam! We were at his house one night, he made us a drink, we were listening to music, and the next thing I knew he had wrapped his arms around me from behind, and we started swaying to the music, then he spun me around and gave me a big romantic kiss. And the rest is, shall we say, history. Give this guy time to make his own move. He will. Just be patient. You'll be glad you were.
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns +, writes (9 January 2008):
Be patient. We're so used to men maneuvering us into the bedroom after the second date, we don't recognize a good old fashioned guy! My b/f and I dated for four months before he finally made his move. And boy what a move! I'm glad I was patient and waited. Your guy may be shy, like mine was, and enjoys taking things slow. My b/f was the same way, we'd go out, have lunch, meet for coffee, have drinks after work, sometimes dinner but it was always friendly. Just a hug, maybe a light kiss on the cheek, nothing more than that. I was beginning to think I just didn't do it for him, then bam! We were at his house one night, he made us a drink, we were listening to music, and the next thing I knew he had wrapped his arms around me from behind, and we started swaying to the music, then he spun me around and gave me a big romantic kiss. And the rest is, shall we say, history. Give this guy time to make his own move. He will. Just be patient. You'll be glad you were.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (9 January 2008):
 First , my apologies for the poorly worded heading ( I'm the moderator)
Can I get you to confirm what you said is correct?
"also confirmed by a relative that his current relationship is nothing serious". I hope that is a typo ( like mine!) as the inference there is that he is still going out with a girl.
But let's assume that it is a typo and he is free to date whomever he wants. I would say just hold on , 2 months is very early days and if he has just split up from a partner it is natural that they will still be sorting things out (family involvement, shared bills etc ) which will require communication between them.
So he will be reluctant to throw himself into a new relationship wholeheartedly until all his ties are shed. You have got to respect him for this.
He will also be getting plenty of advice about the "rebound syndrome" from friends.
So I wouldn't worry, if you guys are meant to be with each other then it will happen, but don't rush him you may just scare him away.
p.s. if he is still in a current relationship please discount all my advice as he's a cheating rat and not the wonderful person you think he is.:-)
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