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female
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*assontheloose
writes: He is a new neighbour, the nicest and most genuine man I have met in a long while. I know he recently split up with someone and is not seeing anyone else. We get on really well and the chemistry seems to be mutual. I am quite smitten but try not to show it! He does all my odd jobs and I cook him the odd meal in return. Things progressed recently and we slept together. But he was quite anxious about it the next day as he says he is not ready for a relationship.Is it that he is 'just not into me'? Should I just cut and run? Or should I hang in there? It's difficult as we live close to each other and see each other every day. I really don't know how to play it...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2005): lose him. he just wanted a bit of a 1 night stand. hes not worth it and if he thinks you aint good enough for him to try a relationship with then hes obviously after someone with no brian.
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female
reader, caffeinequeen +, writes (4 November 2005):
Just give him the cold shoulder. It is so pretentious of him to suggest that you want a relationship with him, when all you had was sex.(Unless you mentioned having a relationship or being serious about him before you got intimate)He is just feeding you the " I'm not ready for a relationship" line when all he means is: it was just a one night stand.Eewww! I hope he was a bit more imaginative in the bedroom.If he was a real man, he would admit that he wanted to have sex and just that with you.Obviously, he is too immature to hone his sexuality and responsibility.You were 2 in the equation.If it happens that he wants more from you, he will make it noticed.Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2005): First of all, you both may have had sex too soon. It's possible he wasn't ready and he's feeling guilt because he's not in love with you. It could be, he doesn't want you to "make much of the night of passion" Remember, just because someone has sex it doesn’t mean that any affection exists. That is why sexual intimacy is so precious. In the future, it may be wise to only have sex when you are in a committed relationship with someone who loves you, who cares for you, and who will appreciate the gift of giving your body and emotions. You always become emotionally connected, first and then have a sexual union.
So because he's not feeling as "smitten' or as intense about you as you are about him-he's feeling badly that he can't give you more, in the love sense. I don't the sex was something he planned to do, it just happened. But let's not let this guy off the hook so easy. Remember he was the other half of this equation and he could've used some control and stopped it before it began. I suggest you lay low and do not call him. Don't obsess or waste too much energy over this guy. You may want to think about what you want in a loving, committed relationship and hold out for it. There are plenty of fascinating, wonderful, men out there who are looking for solid, long lasting commitment and love. be strong. Take care
Good Luck, hun
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A
male
reader, IrishKeeth +, writes (2 November 2005):
I actually was in this citation with a neighbor a couple of years ago. It sounds to me like he was just lonely and wanted sex, but he didn't realize that unlike a one-nighter with a stranger, he is in close proximity to you. It doesn’t sound to me like he has feelings for you. He was probably lonely and is now worried that you are getting emotionally attached. I would advise not having sex and distancing yourself, otherwise you will and up hurt. Sorry Hun.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2005): Listen to him! He obviosly needs a little space at the moment, if you cut and run you may miss out on something that could be really special, but try not to emotinally invest too much at this point in time. Take time and build up a friendship with him, you will soon know how he feels about you. You also need to consider hte fact that he may have some emotional issues of his own that he may need to address - this may take some time!
Good luck!
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