A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i am 29 year old male and i have been with my girlfriend for 13 years she is also 29..we live together we own a house but for the last 3 years we have not been gettin on..we have split up on various ocations and then got back together, i care a bout her alot but we both have told eacherother that our relationship is just a habbit..the argument have been getting more so but when we split i miss her..its just we cant live together without arguing...3 years ago i saw a friend of my brothers girlfriend...and everytime i see her at parties and stuff ..my heart races and i get very nervious and usualy say somthing or do somthin stupid which makes me look stupid...i think that i am in love with this person..i think about her all of the time and constantly wonder if she likes me at all.....at the moment i am very confused and i dont know what to do....i know that this girl is what i want but at the same time i also know that i want to end it with my girlfriend..and if this girl is not interested then i think i have made the right decion....what do i do....do i tell this girl how i feel...i have all ready been close to this but i backed off when se was asking me questions, but she also said things that made me feel that she likes me......im confused and i dont know what to do.....any advice..........
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): hey..
it is easy to say 'leave your girlfriend' but you must think about the heartache u will cause her. 13 years is such a long time, and somewhere inbetween the arguments and distance growing-there is bound to be some love and good memories? why else would she have still continued to be with you after 13 years?
i understand that it would be best to tell her u want to go seprate ways, but please do not tell her it is because you have fallen for somebody else. it would make things worse for you both. if you do want to break up-do it gently and dont mention that you feel something for someone else.
think long and hard before you make your decision, it is only when you haveloved and lost that u realise how good things were or how things could have been improved.
love and god bless
friend x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): I'll say end it with your girlfriend because you really want not based on a possible relationship with this other girl. Bc then if it doesn't work out you'll regret your decision.On the other hand, I feel and share your dilemma as I've also been with my guy for over 10 years, the spark seems gone for the past few months, and for a few weeks, I've been attracted to this other guy who seems attracted to me as well. But I'm not going to break up just for him. Not worth it.Think about whether or not you are ready for this break up before you do anything you'll regret!
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