A
female
age
30-35,
*elblein
writes:dear friendsI'm asking for your advices because I'm facing something new and I don't know what to do.I'm 19,and I have never had a boyfriend before,because I have never been attracted by those who tried to approach at me.When I was at high school I used to sympathize someone 10 years older than me,who lived in a foregn country,but firstly I thought it was a childhood consent and he never knew that.Later it was him who showed his interest about me,and by that time I have received innumerable friend requests from him on my facebook adress.Before 5 months I decided to accept it.We have talked since than so many times,and so long hours,(along which he expressed to be in love with me) until a few days ago I decided to remove him from my friend list.I got angry as I was out with my friends to celebrate a birthday and one of them mentioned me his name and said that he had requested her to be friends on fb.This wasn't the first time he was doing this.He had done that before with my cousins.After that he found my number and sent me a sms on my mobile where he was asking me the reason why I had deleted him and he wished me the best.I answered that I got tired explaining the others about him.Than he said that I shouldn't lie,and I said that I have never lied him,and I said that after what he said I was convinced I had made the right choice.He said his address was stolen,and I know it was,and that he didn't know anything about the invitations.But I didn't text him again.Now I don't know what to do.My mind says I have made the right choice,as I was getting used to him and soon I could find myself in love with him,and I know that he wasn't the right for me.I'm studying to become a pharmacist and he barely has finished high school.Furthermore,I know that we could never be together as he is runnig his business in another country.Once our common friend told me that he has never acted like this about any other women.He has had a lot of experiences before and I belive that a 29 years old with that background knows how to make an woman fall in love with him.I still believe that he hadn't done that with me.My best friend suggested me that sometimes is better to write and share your thoughts with the others.I spend my hours thinking,for him and for my life,I have put away books,and my exams are approaching.I don't want to waste my time thinking about him,but I don't know what to do to avoid it.Sometimes we see what our heart wants to see,is that happening to me????
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best friend, cousin, facebook, my ex, never had a boyfriend, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, delblein +, writes (21 April 2011):
delblein is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you!I really appreciate your answers.I only hope that the time will be the cure about my "illness".
A
female
reader, delblein +, writes (21 April 2011):
delblein is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you!I really appreciate your answers.I only hope that the time will be the cure about my "illness".
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2011): Well I'm slightly confused, do you mean he simply added them as friends? If so I think yours was an overreaction, unless he flirted with them or something like that. In which case you definitely made the right decision to end it.
Unfortunately you can't chose to stop thinking about him. The best thing to do is not dwell on any thoughts that enter your head. You can notice them, acknowledge them and then carry on with whatever you're doing.
It could be your heart wants to believe in him, but at the end of the day you'll never know, only he will ever know that for sure.
Either way if you know you could never be together due to circumstance then it was probably the best choice and it'll just take time to get over.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (20 April 2011):
 Let's assume that he DID try to friend your friends or your cousins. Besides that now making him a liar by denying it, what else does this action mean to you? Are you considering it cheating, is it outting your relationship to people you didn't want knowing about you two, or are you concerned that he wants to make romantic advances on your family members and friends? I assume you're most concerned with the latter. If that's the case, there's a trust issue here. Actually, there'd be a trust issue even if he hadn't tried to friend your friends because you don't believe his explanations about how these people got friend requests. Facebook and all these social networks really confuse things. If friends just meant friends and he met these people face to face and became their friends, that wouldn't be problematic, you know, it's the implication that there's something romantic tied to it, is that right?
You seem to have a gut bad feeling about this guy. Focus on yourself, your exams, your mental and physical health, but try to determine whether your gut is more interested in protecting you from falling in love, or whether it is trying to signal to you that something's not right. hope that helps.
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